Kris laid down on his bed and stared at the ceiling, asking himself of what just happened. He knows he's a ed up person but he didn't know who would up more than he could.

'The apartment seems cold, so lifeless, and so lonely.' He thought the moment he realized you left him. Who wouldn't? Who wouldn't leave the guy who's full of tattoos and seems to doesn't have any future? He's full of and everyone knows it but you seem to put up with it.

You put up with it for 3 years. It was never a sugar fairytale. It was all the hero saves the day but the villain stays alive. You two were terrible for each other but you couldn't seem to let go each other.

Kris still can hear what you say. It still rings into his ears and sends shivers to his whole body.

"This is not going to make me happy. You ed up, Kris. You ed up big time." You said while washing your face with your hands. "I am going to be broken last time. Like every time I am with you. I need to get over with me. I need to get over you. I can't just put my pride down over and over again for this. If you can't apologize or even bother to fix this , then go yourself."

You left. Kris cried.

**

You pace back and forth across the chilled concrete floor waiting for Kris' arrival. After for what seems like forever, the front door opens and you listen to his boots thud down the small hallway. When he opens the bedroom door, your heart sinks and breaks for the thousandth time.

His eyes were swollen and bloodshot but he's still gorgeous as ever. And it seems unfair, how does one still look good with bags under his eyes?

He doesn't say anything, instead he walks over and places a paper in your hand. You look up to him and you felt the familiar fast heartbeat.

"Read it before you make up your decision." He requests.

He places a swift kiss on your cheek and leaves the room.

When you unfold the paper, your eyes widen in surprise. The paper is full of scribbles, ugly ones. You almost laughed because of Kris' handwriting but since the tension is heavy, you didn't.

Sweetheart,

I'm a ty person and a ty writer. But please . . . bear with me.

I know I have done so many ed up things to you and I no way deserve you but I am asking, no begging you to please look past the things I have done. I know I ask too much of you, always and I am sorry for that. If I could take it all back, I would.

I know you're angry with my actions and decisions and it kills me. Instead of making excuses for the ty person I am, I am going to tell you the secrets I haven't told you yet.

When I was nine, I stole our next door neighbor's child's bike. His name is Suho, he was so much of a dickhead and so prim and proper that he annoys the out of me. I destroyed his bike and I never confessed about it.

When I was ten, I picked on kids on my year a lot. Everyday basically. One time, I pasted glue on Xiumin's sit because he makes me hungry all the time. He looks like some Chinese dumpling and I wanted to eat his face but I didn't because that would be cannibal.

When I was twelve, we had a new neighbor named Luhan. He was pretty and Chinese. He says his name was deer of the dawn in English and he says loads about animals. He was a nerd and annoying. So one day, I opened their front door house and let a antler enter. The rest was history.

In fourteen, there was this one great dancer who broke his ankle from the banana peel I threw on the floor. I said it was Luhan's fault. I told them he was trying to be a gorilla and every er believed me.

I am an awful person and I know it.

Unbestknowst to you that I took this chance before many, many years ago. I never told you this even you told me it a thousand times. My every thought is consumed by you. The first night you stayed with me, I knew I love you but I couldn't say it. 

I imagine sometimes that you and me with gray hairs, happily watching our grandkids. And I know that you already messed up my brain when you kissed me first. The firsr kiss we shared made me felt something new.

God knows that I don't deserve you because I am an obnoxious prick but you make me happy. Please, stay with me.

I love you.

- Kris

**

You stared at the letter for almost an eternity. The idea of Kris writing was somehow unimaginable. He doesn't even write in school. You didin't know you were crying. It wasn't because you're still broken but because of stupid Kris' confession.

Anyway, you weren't even leaving him in the first place. You'll stay like you always do because even though Kris hurts you big time, you can't imagine a life, ed up or not, without him.

"Sweetheart," he called from the other side of the door and he came in. Worry flashed into his face. "Oh my god, I shouldn't have not written that awful . Look at you, you're crying." He said while sitting beside you in the bed.

"Kris, I -" But before you could say a sentence he was already bickering.

"No, no, no. Before you leave me, I want to say something." He said like a child throwing a fit. "I'm not perfect and all. I was an angry person since I was a child. I could be even worst than Adolf Hitler but . . . " He sighed. "I'm the guy who's trying to be the best for you."

Your heart was beating so wild that it almost got out of your chest, good thing that you have a rib cage.

"I'm trying and I will try for you. I'm ed up but I'm less terrible than before. And oh god, I love you. I love you, okay? I'm sorry that I said it too late. You can't leave me because I can't live without you. Remember that one time, you had an interview that was 4,000 miles away, I almost lost it. I kept staring at your photographs, our pictures. And I know that's creepy as hell but I missed you. Those 3 days seems hell. All because of you."

"Kris, I -" You begin talking. 

"No! I'm not finished yet. I am definitely a mess, a ed up one but of all the things that I ed, your my favorite one."

"Jesus! Kris! Shut the up!" And he stopped, bewildered of what he just said.

"I'm not leaving." You said and he let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding.

"God, if I knew that you were going to be cheesy like this, I wouldn't have asked you to tell me you love me." You said lying because you were happy he did this. His face shows full of confusion.

You sat beside him, closing the distance. You put yout arms around his neck. And he looked at you with much longing.

"You're ty but I love you, you dickhead."

He smiled. You blushed. Fireworks explode. Volcanoes erupted. And you lived happily ever after.

Well, not forever because that's ty.

Whatever, you're just happy with each other.