Donghae Pov

"I have something i want to ask Donghae." Shingdong voiced out immediately after Yesung spoke.

 What does he want to ask? Why does he sound so serious anyway?

"I wanted to ask if you are truly happy these days."

"Me?" I exclaimed, shocked that why Shindong hyung would even ask such question.

"I always felt like you were trying really hard to enjoy yourself." 

"Me? No. I am really happy with just as things now." I said calmly and convincingly.

Lies.

"I am happy that i have met you guys and been with you for 10 years and i look forward to more in the future."

Well... This IS true so it might not really be a lie.

Thankfully, Siwon started speaking which prevented Shingdong hyung from continueing. Everyone's attention is shifted to Siwon while Shindong hyung just eyed me, not fully believing my words before doing the same as the rest. 

For the rest of the time, i put on a poker face and laughed with them. Nothing strange. I am used to it afterall. Ever since Kibum focused on his acting career and stopped doing activities with us.

Time flies and the shooting end for the day. We went in 3 different cars, 1) leeteuk, yesung, shindong, ryeowook 2)kyuhyun, Siwon, me 3)eunhyuk, kangin, sungmin, and head back to the dorms. With earphones plugged into my ears and our own music playing, i gaze out of the window while the Siwon and Kyuhyun talks about god knows what. What Shindong hyung said just kept replying in my mind like a broken record and it makes my heart and mind goes into turmoil.

Unknowingly, we reached the dorm. While the members were going to shower one by one and prepare to sleep, only i was in my room, sitting near the edge of my bed like a statue. A knock on the door broke me out of my reverie, signalling that it was my turn to shower. I restlessly drag my body across the room to the bathroom.

Everyone was tired, including me. But even when the others are already sleeping, i couldn't. Not with what Shindong hyung said still etched in my mind. In my hoodie and track pants, i just went to the verenda, silently sitting there, thinking. 

Am i truly happy? Obviously not... How could i be? I miss Super Junior being 13, i miss how Hangeng would be here joking with us and speaking in his accented and funny korean. And how vould i even be happy without Kibum by my side? As i thought of all these, tears just unconciously rolled down my cheeks. When i realised that i was even crying, i couldn't stop it anymore.

Kibum ah, my love, what are you doing right now? Where could you be? .... i miss you so much.... Like thousands of needles poking my and knives stabbing, my heart ache like never before. Never had anyone one questioned if i was happy or not, never did i even ask myself that. But what can i do even if i am not happy? Absolutely nothing. I am just going to cause people to worry so why bother.

♪cause i cant stop thinking bout you girl! Neol nekkeorol mandeulgeoya~ ♪

Upon hearing this ringtone, my heartbeat quicken as i clumsily accepted the call.

Hey hae."

"Hey.." my voice came out soft and slightly hoarsed as i wipe away my tears, sniffling slightly.

".... Babe.. Is something wrong? Are you...."

" Aniya Bummie. Nothing's wrong." I quickly try to cover up for myself although its pretty much useless.

"Babe. Don't bother lying to me.." Kibum said gently. My only love, my boyfriend that i hasn't been able to see for months. He is the only one who can also sense whether i am lying or when i am upset and such. The one who understands me most, my pillar of support. 

"... Really. Its just what Shindong hyung asked earlier today that is up on my mind and of course there is you that is on my mind too~" speaking in a more cheerful manner, i slightly chuckled to myself as i can already imagine bummie heaving a sigh with a small smile on his lips.

"Then tell me what did he ask. It canct be nothing if it can keep you up at such ungodly hour." 

"Well.. He just asked if i... if i was happy." 

"And?"

"And i just replied that i am. Its true though since i get to be with them for 10 years already and stuff."

" Yeah but you aren't fully happy and i know that."

"...." this is why at times i rather my boyfriend be a blockhead instead of a smartass. 

"Don't pout. You know i cant handle that cuteness." Giving small laughters that are like music to my ears and makes me have butterflies in my stomach, he just makes me miss him even more. A second later, i then realise that i was really pouting like for god sake! Is he psychic or what?

"... Bummie ah... I miss you so much..."

"Babe, you know i miss you too.. Even more than you could ever think off."

" But then when can we see each other again? The last time i remember it was like... 3 or 4 months back? And it was ONLY 2 hours.." i whined.

" Aigoo~~ Hae ahh, bear with it a little more kay? I promise you that i am going to get a vacation to spend time with you alright?" 

"........Fine! But i am SO not letting you leave my side and we are going to cuddle all day you get me?" I tried to speak in a commanding tobe but i just end up getting laughters out of that guy.

"Okay okay~ Whatever you say baby. Your wish is my command and i will gladly fulfil anything you want~ " Oh my god. I can already see that wink that he will give saying that.

"So now my baby, are you to sleep yet? Its really getting very late."

" Shiro bummie!! I still want to talk to you..."

" Ayyy~ We can just talk again tomorrow. "

".... yeah.. tomorrow..... Like that will happen. The last time you said that, you end up only calling me 3 days later." 

"..... Cant help it. My drama got delayed... But this time, believe me kay? I will DEFINITELY call you again tomorrow night. If i dont...... you can do whatever you want with me."

" You really mean that? I can do ANYTHING?" 

" Yes. ANYTHING"

"Ohhh~ You better not regret that~" 

"I wont. Now will my baby go to sleep already?"

"Okay..... I love you kay? More than you can think of."

" I love you too. I dont show much but just know that i will always be with you and make you smile okay?"

"Mm! Good night bummie. Muacks!"

"Aigooo~ Good night!" 

Are you happy? Now, i can say yes, i am happy with all my heart because my love will always be with me together with the members.

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A/N Hey~ Another kihae one shot that is not good.... Please dont mind my grammer and stuffs. Its bad but yeah!