Jongdae backs Chanyeol into a corner of the apartment that they share, literally shoving him into the wall. “What the has been up with you lately?” he demands.

Chanyeol swallows thickly at the anger displayed on Jongdae’s face, but he can’t exactly blurt out that he can’t do this anymore. That he can’t be friends with Jongdae without his heart aching because he wants to hold Jongdae close, kiss him. He wants to do a number of things to Jongdae that just friends don’t do.

“You can’t avoid me forever,” Jongdae says, sounding more defeated than angry now. “We’re roommates. Unless... Do you want to move out?”

“No!” Chanyeol says so quickly and so loudly that it startles Jongdae. “I mean-”

“Then what the is your problem?” Jongdae’s mad face is back on in full force. “Why won’t you talk to me anymore? Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Chanyeol repeats. It’s hurting him too, having to leave the room every time Jongdae walks in because he doesn’t trust himself not to do something stupid like blurting out how much he loves Jongdae.

“What’s wrong? Why can’t you tell me?” Jongdae sighs.

Chanyeol looks away, staring anywhere but at Jongdae. He keeps his mouth shut.

Jongdae sighs again. “I can’t live with you if you’re going to be like this,” he says quietly, backing away. “I’ll start looking for a new place to live. You should too.”

Chanyeol panics because Jongdae can’t leave him. Chanyeol can’t be around him without having his heart ache terribly, but he definitely can’t live without him either. “Jongdae, wait,” he says, reaching out to grab onto Jongdae’s wrist. He doesn’t try to pull away from Chanyeol, but he keeps his gaze pinned to the floor. “I don’t want you to look for a new place.”

“If you want to move out, then-”

“No,” Chanyeol says, his grip tightening on Jongdae’s wrist. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want either of us to leave.”

“I give up,” Jongdae says softly. “I don’t know what you want me to do. You won’t tell me anything anymore.”

“I don’t want you to leave me,” Chanyeol blurts out and then immediately regrets it when Jongdae glares up at him.

“So you’re allowed to shut me out but I’m not allowed to do anything about it?”

“That’s not-” Chanyeol starts, but he quickly gives up on words. They’ve never been much use to him anyway. He tugs Jongdae closer and thankfully he doesn’t resist. Chanyeol keeps pulling until Jongdae is close enough to wrap his arms around. He holds on tightly, afraid if he lets go that Jongdae might walk out of his life forever and that’s the opposite of what Chanyeol wants.

To his surprise Jongdae hugs him back, his hands fisted tightly in the back of Chanyeol’s shirt as he buries his face in Chanyeol’s neck. “I’m sorry,” Chanyeol says. He really is, for everything he’s put them both through. Jongdae just holds on tighter and he starts trembling in Chanyeol’s arms. Chanyeol can feel his breath hitching with every inhale, Jongdae tries to hide it, but it’s obvious that he’s crying.

Chanyeol’s heart breaks all over again. He did this to Jongdae. He’s been such an that he’s reduced his best friend to tears. Maybe it would be better for Jongdae if they weren’t living together anymore. It’d still hurt, but at least he wouldn’t be hurt Jongdae anymore.

“I’m so sorry,” Chanyeol says, smoothing his hand down Jongdae’s back.

“If you’re sorry, then tell me why you’ve been pushing me away,” Jongdae mumbles against Chanyeol’s skin, his voice rough with the effort of trying to hold back the tears that are now dripping down Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“I-” Chanyeol tries but the words get stuck before they make it out of his mouth.

“What is it?” Jongdae asks, finally lifting his head from where he’s been hiding his face against Chanyeol to look up at him. “Just spit it out already!”

Maybe it’s because they’re already so close, Jongdae’s face only inches away from his, but he swears Jongdae’s eyes flicker down to his lips for a moment. And Chanyeol decides, it. Jongdae will probably punch him in the face in a second, but he doesn’t care so he closes the distance between their mouths to kiss him. He was never good with explaining himself anyway.

Jongdae gasps against his lips, probably too shocked to really react beyond freezing and Chanyeol takes advantage of it, kissing him with everything he’s got, his hand sliding gently into Jongdae’s hair. Jongdae whimpers, shakily taking a breath before holds onto Chanyeol tighter and kisses him back.

Chanyeol stops when he realizes that Jongdae isn’t pushing him away, isn’t hitting him or calling him names. Instead, Jongdae’s eyes are closed, his head tilted as he leans in for more. Except Chanyeol shifts slightly, so his lips meet the corner of Jongdae’s and he leaves a sweet kiss there. He presses kiss after kiss to Jongdae’s cheeks, wiping the tears away with his lips until Jongdae nudges Chanyeol back to his mouth.

“I like you too,” Jongdae says and Chanyeol’s heart feels like it’s about to give out, it’s beating so fast. Somehow Jongdae’s always able to hear everything Chanyeol hasn’t been able to say.

Chanyeol presses their foreheads together and he feels like crying too, now. He doesn’t deserve someone as perfect as Jongdae. Jongdae doesn’t seem to think so, though, and he pulls away from Chanyeol only to tug him in the direction of the couch. He pushes Chanyeol down before climbing into his lap.

“You’re an idiot,” he says before pressing their lips together again. Chanyeol can’t stop his lips pulling into a smile and Jongdae gives up trying to kiss him on the lips and goes for his nose instead. “It’s a good thing I already knew that, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol agrees, his hands creeping up the back of Jongdae’s shirt, making him squirm a bit because he’s ticklish. “And you still like me anyway.”

“No,” Jongdae says, shaking his head. “I don’t like you at all. I love you.”

Chanyeol just kisses Jongdae again. He knows that Jongdae can hear the unspoken words of, me too, I love you too.