Enjoy! xD 

“I love you”

Those few words are spinning in my head. We’ve been friend for so long that I don’t even remember a day without him. So why did he say those words? I felt scared and I ran away from him. I didn’t care about the rain, I didn’t care that I was just wearing a tank top, I didn’t even care that I was barefoot, I just ran out of his house into the street. It was so dark outside, but I didn’t care, I was scared. Those words still in my head as I felt the drops of rain falling slowly upon me. My hair was getting wet by the time but all I could think about was him and what he said. I didn’t eve care about finding repair, honestly I liked the feeling of the rain on me, it didn’t calm me, no my chest was beating so hard not even death could slow it down, but it helped me anyway. I tried to concentrate on it, on the sound it made every time a drop hit the ground. I looked up at the sky and for a moment, before the rain blinded me, I could see that wonderful moment when you see it coming down fast on you, as if the sky was sending arrows. I closed my eyes pretty soon but for that brief moment I enjoyed the sky. The rain didn’t hurt, it was soft on me, every single drops I felt on my face washed away the tears I had never even considered I would someday cry. My mouth was so wet that I felt the urge to part my lips a bit and as I stuck out my tongue a bit I tasted the flavor of the rain mixed with my own tears. It was salty and sweet at the same time. That reminded me of him, all the thing he said to me, not just those few words, but everything he ever said to me. Every words he had ever let out of that mouth were for me, I know he liked piking on me, but I also know that for him I was the best hyung, he said that to me so many times.

 “hyung, you’re the best”

All the times he said that he loved me I thought he was just joking or that he loved me as a brother, but now, he said to me that phrase with such a intense stare that I could tell he was dead serious. Yet, the only thing I managed to do was running away, running away from him, from his feelings. The last thing I remembered was fear and disapproval in his eyes as I fled with no response, leaving him with the only thought I knew he was having. He had lost his best friend forever. I had the urge to run back to him telling that it was all ok I wouldn’t leave him for that, for anything at all. Yet I was still there, under the increasing rain, with no roof above me. At that point I was completely soaked but still, I didn’t care. I felt my knees weaken and I fell on the ground with a loud thud. I stared down at my arm. What if he really lost me? What if I couldn’t run back to him? What if we lost each other? What could I do without him? My mind wouldn’t stop thinking about him and what my life would be if I couldn’t see him again, If I couldn’t touch him, If I couldn’t hear his voice again. Everything was running through my head, every things he said. I remembered when he wanted to beat me on a videogame and I felt so much sorry for him that I ended up losing on purpose. He smiled at me with so much satisfaction and happiness that I couldn’t help but smile back and for the umpteenth time I let him bully me. What If I couldn’t see that smile never again? I would die.

That’s when I realized that I didn’t care how but I needed to stay with him. Yes I loved him, more than a friend, more than a brother, more than anyone else. He was the one I wouldn’t survive without. I ran a hand through my hair and standing up I rushed back to him. As I reached the front door of his house my heart was so much in a hurry that I thought for a moment that it would free itself from my chest and chase after him alone before me. My hands were shaking and the rain was still falling. I tried to slow down my heartbeat but it didn’t work. I still found difficult to press the bell of his house but when I did it felt so right to be there. He came to open the door a few minutes later, it took him so long that I thought he wouldn’t open the door at all. He had red a puffy eyes and I could tell he had been crying probably since I left. I lifted my gaze and met his eyes, he looked at me with such a surprise that for a moment I felt the urge to run away again, was it wrong to be there? But as soon as his eyes began to tear again I knew that I wanted to be there, I needed to be there. Still soaked I suddenly hugged him. He called my name confused and I tighten the grip on him. I wanted to feel his body against mine so much that I didn’t let him go even when he asked me to because he felt cold and he needed to close the door. Then I heard it. He laughed softly before pushing me lightly away to close the front door. He then turned to me and smiled. I could never lose it, him. I needed it to