Time, stop now so I can sleep again…

            Staring blankly outside,

            I just close my eyes and there’s the thought of you.

            “Mrs. Nam, we’ll have to keep Wookyu for a while…” The nurse spoke softly, trying to look at the woman lying on the bed before her. Mr. Nam was surprised and took a deep breath, knowing his wife wouldn’t be able to speak after hearing something like that. “Why do you need to keep him?”

            “…compared to his older brother, Wookyu isn’t as healthy.” Mrs. Nam turned her head to stare at the wall. “He’ll be fine. We don’t see anything to serious. You’ll be able to bring him home in no time! Now, for Woohyun, he’s as healthy as a baby can be!” The nurse chimed, a bright smile making its way onto her bright, ruby lips.

            Both kept quiet for a moment until Mrs. Nam spoke up. “Okay…” That’s all she could muster. She was happy that Woohyun was so healthy, so perfect, but Wookyu… she wouldn’t allow her other son, which she’s been waiting so long on having, to leave her or her husband or Woohyun so quickly. “You can leave now.” Mr. Nam glanced at his wife. He knew what was running through her head.

            “If you need me, press the button.” And the nurse left.

            Woohyun lied on the bed they brought into Mrs. Nam’s room. It seemed empty, why? Because his brother was supposed to be right next to him, wearing a matching shirt from the hospital and little hat—instead he was in an incubator in the room a floor above his mothers with all types of machine’s connected to him.

            Time, don’t pass so that she (he) can come back…

            When I think of you,

            I start looking for you but…

            At five years old, a little boy sat in a bed in the hospital. The room was filled with other kids, and there were toys in the middle of the large room. Wookyu noticed that some kids were bald, and some has lush hair. Some were as pale as the white sheets they laid on, and some were tan. The walls were bright colors, and there was flower printed curtains on one side of the room, and dinosaur printed curtains on the other. Boys and girls either ran around, or stayed in their bed—most of the time because they couldn’t walk in the first place.

            Wookyu chose not to play with the other. He just watched from far, waiting for Woohyun to come and visit him so they could play together. Wookyu wondered what Woohyun was doing, what their parents were doing. Playing together… playing outside… Wookyu clenched and unclenched his sheet, staring down at his lap. Then, at the blue blanket that Woohyun brought him last month before grabbing it and holding onto it close.

            Even when the other kids called his name, and begged him to play—the only person Wookyu wanted to be with was Woohyun. And only Woohyun would it be. He thought it was selfish, at first. But the first time he made a friend here, back two years ago, that boy never came back one day. Wookyu figured he went back home with his parents, but he would never know the real truth.

            I’m here, all alone, I’m crying…

            The tears stop and I’m just laughing.

            I’ll wait until I’m able to breathe again,

            When Wookyu was finally allowed back home, after six long years, it almost didn’t feel like home until Woohyun jumped off the bus and hugged Wookyu. He grabbed his brother’s hand and dragged him up the stairs to show Wookyu that they would have to share a room. Woohyun showed Wookyu his toys, and introduced Wookyu to their pet dog [Cookie]. Wookyu just smiled, nodded his head, and listened to his brother rant.

            The next day, when Wookyu had to go to school, he felt a little out of place. The kids there were so jumpy, and smiley, and talkative. Some of the kids at the hospital didn’t even know how to speak, but the kids here spoke full sentences. One boy, Jung Jiwan, stood in front of all the other kids and made a speech about how he was the king and how he was the boss and everyone had to listen to him.

            Jiwan spotted Wookyu, squinted his eyes, hopping off the stack of toys, and walking over. “How come you look like Woohyun Hyung?” He asked, Wookyu swallowed and squeezed Woohyun’s hand almost like he was pleading for help. “He’s my twin, pabo! We were born on the same day, have the same looks, but we don’t have the same personality! It’s cool, huh?” Woohyun grinned.

            “Yeah, I guess. How come he’s new if you always been here?” Jiwan put his hands on his hips. “My brother is sick. He just came out of the hospital, now if you excuse me; I need to introduce him to the cool kids!” Jiwan pouted his lips as the two started to walk away. “Yah, Woohyun Hyung I AM cool!”

            Time, don’t pass so that she (he) can come back…

            When I think of you,

            I start looking for you but…

            I’m here, all alone, I’m crying…

            The tears stop and I’m just laughing.

            I’ll wait until I’m able to breathe again,

            Summer vacation, the Nam family decided to go on vacation. The boys were 16 now, and they anticipated the get-away (although, Wookyu felt bad for leaving Jiwan—who made him promise that he would call him every night). Wookyu though, Jiwan his possessive and protected, even if we’re just best friends—and then he remembered, Woohyun is just the same.

            Woohyun brought his brother into a headlock, both of the boys standing on a rock in the middle of the water as their father was fishing and mother was sitting down and reading a book. “Woohyun..!” Wookyu pouted, he knew it was probably not a good idea to play with Woohyun like this. “If I get all wet already, Woo, I’ll move into the extra room.”

            Woohyun sighed and let him go, pursing out his lips. “FINE..! You’re such a baby, Kyu.” He grinned and put his hands on his hips. “Boys, don’t play around over there, it’s dangerous.” Woohyun waved to their mother, before crouching down to look at the reef below them. “It’s so pretty Wookyu! I wish that we could live in the beach house instead of the city…” Woohyun grimaced.

            “I like the city. Plus, Jiwan is there and this place is practically deserted!” Woohyun looked over his shoulder and shrugged. “But at least we would be together!” He stood and poked Wookyu’s cheek, with the same cheeky grin on his face. “Oh wait, don’t tell me, you like Jiwan more than me?!” Wookyu smiled slightly.

            Woohyun knew better. “I love you the most, Hyung.”

            Because I left you alone,

            Because I can’t forget you,

            I keep wondering around these memories.

            The day right after their 17^th birthday party—Wookyu was back in the hospital. His head leaned back against the pillow, a frown on his face as he stared up at the ceiling. He knew that Woohyun was coming soon, and Jiwan just left… he was lonely. So, so lonely—he didn’t even have a roommate this time!

            He liked the peace and quiet, yes. But without Woohyun… or Jiwan’s… cheerful yelling and louder-than-normal laughter made Wookyu feel so awkward. One hand rested on the bed, almost lifeless as it was (like the rest of his body) a deadly pale, while the other held on loosely to the remote.

            At the moment, the TV screen was black. He, slowly, was processing through his mind if he should or not. Then he could hear people laugh on TV, and possibly feel better. But, Wookyu tried to keep the tears from falling; it wouldn’t be the same as Woohyun’s laughter. And none of the smiles on the screen would remind Wookyu of Woohyun’s.

            Even if I don’t say anything,

            If you can’t hear anything,

            I’m still looking for you.

            I’ll wait for you now, until time stops…

            Woohyun’s hands played with Wookyu’s, eying the color his brother was. White, white as the walls and the floor, and everything in the goddamn hospital—he took a deep breath before he spoke. “We debuted already, did you see?” Now twenty, Wookyu nodded his head was a sheepish smile.

            “Of course I saw. I wouldn’t miss it, Woo.” Woohyun nodded his head slowly, trying to smile. “So, who did you think looked the best of stage?” He winked. “I don’t know their names, Woo. You should bring them next time you visit.” Woohyun pouted his lips, “But who was the most handsome?”

            “You,” Wookyu sounded so weak that it pained Woohyun.

            “…I’ll bring them next time.” Woohyun leaned over and placed a kiss against his brother’s cheek. “I want them to meet you… before, well…” Wookyu hummed. “I understand, Woohyun Hyung. I just… don’t like to hear it, especially it coming from you. Who knows, maybe I’ll get better.”

            Woohyun knew what his brother was doing. Although he was younger, Wookyu would do anything to make Woohyun happy. Something that Woohyun should have been doing all these years. “I need to go, Kyu. I’ll miss you.” Woohyun stood, lying. He was done with his schedule, but if he stayed any longer than he would have cried. And he couldn’t look so weak in front of his brother.

            Even if I can’t say anything,

            You know that I’m searching.

            Don’t you waver,

            You know that I still haven’t forgotten you.

            Wookyu got along with the rest of the Infinite members, and he seemed to be getting better like he said. Woohyun would smile and watched from his seat next to Wookyu. Jiwan would visit and became friends with the member, too. As the color returned to his brothers cheeks, the more visits he made and the more he realized how he felt.

            He didn’t just love his brother as a brother. But he loved his brother as a lover.

            It was wrong. It was dirty in every way possible, but he couldn’t help it.

            Woohyun grew up with an angel, someone who always tried their best. Someone who always smiled and was followed by a special radiance all his life, a bright and welcoming aura—this attracted him friends and helped Wookyu be surround by people who cared. Someone, even if it pained him to think about it, was going to be taken away from him so early. Did the good always die young? Wookyu could have been an idol just like Woohyun! He was just a good a singer, maybe even better.

            Woohyun couldn’t help if Wookyu just happened to steal his breath away with one smile. Even if it would send Woohyun to hell, it just happened. And there wasn’t a way to take the feelings away. Of course, Woohyun was positive; Wookyu didn’t feel the same way. He was pure, and only saw his friends as his family and family… as his family—of course.

            Even if I don’t say anything,

            If you can’t hear anything,

            I’m still looking for you.

            I’ll wait for you now, until time stops…

            If you’re searching for me,

            They promised… they lied… Woohyun couldn’t help the tears from pouring down his face. His mother was sobbing and his father was looking at the ceiling to keep from crying. Jiwan clenched the sheets that Wookyu once lied on. “I’m sorry, Nam Wookyu passed away early this morning.”

            Last night they said that he would be able to be brought home! The rest of the Infinite members stood outside, not able to cooperate with the situation that happened so quickly. They were coming to visit, Woohyun with the biggest smile on his face. He held a camera and flowers, ready to great his brother, pack everything up for him, and bring him to a fancy restaurant to celebrate Wookyu coming home.

            “You’re a liar…” Woohyun began, his father tried to calm him down.

            It didn’t work: “You said that we could bring him home! That he was okay again! You’re a liar!” The nurse froze, shocked. “Wookyu… he, well… he didn’t want you to know. He told me to give this to you, Woohyun…” He handed him an envelope. The words; ‘To: Woohyun Hyung, From: Wookyu!’ printed on the front.

            Woohyun didn’t hesitate to open it. It was a song.

            I’ll wait for you now, until I can breathe again.

            “I would like to dedicate this to my brother, Wookyu, who wrote this song and passed away a couple weeks ago…” The song started, and with emotions swirling in his body, Woohyun sang the song like he knew Wookyu would want him too. And as the song ended, the fading music hidden by the roars of applause and cheering, Woohyun turned to keep his fans from seeing him cry. He wouldn’t let them see him so weak… he wouldn’t let Wookyu see him so weak; this was his very first time seeing an Infinite concert after all.

SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT .

..im going to write a complaint letter to my mom now .

byeee . (: