[Author's Note-  Please listen to this song while reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY9vkhvVZC4]

 

 

He stared at the white envelope in his hands. It was given to him by Minri, her friend, after the funeral. A feeling of curiosity and dread seized him as he debated whether or not to open and find about the contents of that plain white envelope. In the end, curiosity won over, and he found himself opening the envelope.

Inside was a plain white paper, folded neatly. With trembling fingers, he opened it and his eyes immediately widened at the sight of her familiar handwriting. Heaving a deep breath he started to read…

 

To my dearest Taekwoon,

If there’s something I deeply regret, then it would be leaving you behind.

There was never a dull moment in my life when you and I became together. You always make me smile with your corny jokes and your constant attempts at creating funky dance moves. You also never fail to make my heart flutter every time you hold me close to you, or whenever you press kisses to my forehead…ack! Now you’re making me blush like a stupid school girl. ((>////<))

At the beginning of the letter, Taekwoon managed to crack up a smile. “Emoticons…how typical of you.” He muttered softly and he continued on reading.

Remember when we  first met? We were both stupid, lost tourists exploring Switzerland. We argued which route to take when we unloaded that train from the airport. We even ended up sharing the same room in the lodging house because we were both late for check-in. I even tried to kick you out when you attempted to use the shower while I was getting undressed to change! (You even said that, “There was nothing to see.”) I was really pissed off at you right that moment, thinking, “Whoa, this guy needs a de-briefing about proper etiquette!”

But you know what? That event seemed to bring our fates closer to each other.

I was even surprised that we both live on the same neighbourhood back at home! When I rounded the intersection to my house, you even accused me of stalking you! You really got on my nerves and at that moment, I wanted to strangle you. I even vowed never to cross paths with you ever again.

The funny thing is, we still managed to meet with each other through some weird twist of fate.

Then our stupid friends set us up on that blind date. I was really cursing my luck when I keep running into your face every time! When Minri introduced me to you, you had that conceited smirk on your face! I wanted to shove your face inside the paper shredder, seriously.

But you know what, Taekwoon? I’ll be forever grateful to them for giving us the opportunity to know each other more.

Strangely, I yearned to see your face more often. I can’t take your face out of my head when I close my eyes. Minri even told me that it was a sign of love! Of course, I denied. How could I fall in love with you when every time we meet, I practically curse my own luck?

Though every time I see you, my heart did these little flips and there were butterflies in my stomach. I can’t even look at you straight in the eyes! My cheeks would then blush stupidly every time you did this teasing smirk each time you tease me.

That was the time; I realized that I was in love with you.

Surprisingly, we hung out more often. We had the same taste in music, books, movies, etc. I felt like I was getting closer to you. I really looked forward to our Saturday movie dates, picnic Fridays and hiking Sundays.

Without realizing that time flew by fast, February 14 came. I was shocked when you called me up at 5 in the morning just to force me to have breakfast with you at your family’s coffee shop. I grumbled, inwardly thinking that you have no tact, waking up a woman early just to have coffee with you.

But you know what? I really looked forward to it very much.

I went, and imagine my surprise when the café was reserved just for the two of us. Roses, red balloons and paper cut-outs of hearts decorated the entire place.

Minri and Jaehwan, together with our other friends then appeared. You came last, approaching me with a bouquet of red roses.

At first, I laughed. I laughed because I thought this was your idea of a practical joke. I laughed and laughed, and you did the unexpected: you kissed me.

It was a kiss on the lips, and I admit, I really liked it. When we broke apart, you got down on your knees and asked me to be your girlfriend.

I was happy; really happy that you felt the same for me.

Then we moved in together. Every day, you would surprise me with various presents and you did every little show of affection. For a usually emotionless guy, you can also be passionate, after all. (I still haven’t forgiven you when you insulted me on my cooking skills. I mean, I want pickles in curry!)

For a moment, we were happy. Very, very happy. Until that fateful day came.

It started out small. I got nosebleeds often and I just blamed it on the heat or stress. Then I started throwing up, having headaches often and I would faint. I kept it all from you, insisting it was only anaemia.

I went to the hospital the next day, not telling you the reason why.

The doctor said it was an incurable sickness, and treatment could only do little for my case.

I was scared, Taekwoon. I was really scared. I was not afraid to die, but I was afraid to leave you.

I couldn’t bear to see the look of anguish on your face when I’ll be gone. I was afraid to let you be alone.

You were the last to know about my condition. I personally begged Minri and Jaehwan to keep it from you, but eventually you found out.

You got angry, disappointed…and then, you cried. Seeing you cry broke my heart into little pieces. It was painful for me too, you know, Taekwoon?

But for our sake, I stayed strong. I stayed strong for you. You never left me. You never left my side during the times when I wanted to give up. You never left me alone. You even said, “We’ll fight this. We’ll clear this battle together, you hear me? So don’t give up, Jinae.”

But I tried Taekwoon. I really tried, you know? But then, it was too much for me. I can’t take the pain anymore.

I refused therapy. I refused medicines. My body kept rejecting all of it. It was then I realized that my time was almost up.

Taekwoon, I am sorry. I am really sorry for leaving you alone. I could only hope that you may bear with me being gone. Don’t even dare to try to kill yourself, please. I still want you to live your life to the fullest, and I wish for your happiness.

Jung Taekwoon, always remember that I love you. After all that’s happened, I still and I will love you…

I hope to see you once again.

With love,

Song Jinae

 

 

He didn’t even notice he was crying until teardrops stained the pristine white paper. He brought the letter to his lips and kissed it tenderly.

“Goodbye, my dearest…” He murmured.

 

 

A/N: Thank you for reading.