What Is Love (D.O)
What Is Love (D.O)“It’s a shooting star.” He saw her sitting down on a chair, tilting her head down a bit in front of the window.
“I don’t know if the surgery will be successful, and I’m not asking for much, all I’m asking for is a fairy tale ending.” He heard her trailed her last few words weakly as she stumbled backwards, gripping on the edge of her mattress tightly with one hand while clutching her chest with the other. Kyungsoo wanted to help her, but he didn’t want her to know that he’s been eavesdropping on her. He shuts his eyes when he noticed her slowly turning her body to climb up on her bed. When he heard her shut the lamp off, he opened his eyes again. To us, it is just pitch black darkness in their hospital room, but to him, he sees a fainting light surrounding the sleeping girl. That girl, is the girl he fell in love when she was transferred to stay in the same room with him.
“Kyungsoo?” He looked up from the comic book he was reading from and locked eyes with the girl, his roommate, the news that he was told of a week ago. The nurse beside the girl squeezed her hands in encouragement.
“I’ll leave you two alone, beep me if anything.” the nurse slipped out of the room, leaving the girl standing with her head down. He placed his book down on the mattress and shifted himself to wear his slippers and tilted his head a bit so he can talk to the girl face to face.
“Hi, I’m Do Kyungsoo, nice to meet you.” he extended his right hand out to the girl. She slowly reached her right hand out to shake his.
“I’m Kim Soo Yun.” she slowly lifted her head up and gave him a faint smile. He gave a shy smile and both of them released their hands.
“So…” both of them said, and paused to wait for the other to continue. He stifled out a cough and properly wore his slippers before standing up.
“Um, you need help with those?” he asked, pointing at Soo Yun’s belongings that are lying next to her feet.
“Uh, no it’s fine, thank you.” she replied, quickly walking over to her bed with the belongings and started to arrange her stuff. Kyungsoo sat back on his bed and continued reading his comic book, subtly glancing at Soo Yun as she busied herself with arranging her bed and drawer. He gave up finishing his comic book and just looked at her, only moving his eyes back to the same page he’s been on when she turned her head to his direction. He saw her fell back on the bed as soon she’s done, rolling to the side so she’s facing him. He quickly darted his eyes back to the page, did she saw me looking at her? He slowly shifted his eyes to her and noticed that she’s fast asleep.
“Soo Yun, a lotus flower.” he breathed out when he searched the meaning of her name with his phone. He repeated it over and over again in his head before he fell asleep.
All Kyungsoo knew about her was that she was the same age as him, 21 years old, and was diagnosed with CAA (coronary artery anomaly), a defect she had since birth. Soo Yun had been admitted into the hospital two weeks ago from repeated chest pains. She isolated herself from others, so her attending psychiatrist felt that it would be more beneficial for her to share a room with another patient. She lived alone at home and it didn’t seem as though she had any visitors, a companion may be the best therapy the psychiatrist could prescribe.
“Why me though? I thought only people with the same can share a room.” he asked the hospital psychiatrist when she told him the news.
“Co-ed hospital rooms are allowed in this hospital, and you, Kyungsoo, should make a friend here as well.” she answered. He widened his big, round eyes in surprise. He stayed in this hospital for a month due to the Guillan-Barre syndrome he was diagnosed with when he was first admitted to the emergency room with a stomach virus. The syndrome caused him to have difficulty in walking and breathing and he needs to stay for physical therapy and plasma exchange. The first two weeks were hell to him, he can’t get off the bed by himself and was always shouting from the severe pain he was experiencing. He is a quiet boy, he minds his own business, and he wasn’t thinking of making friends since he will be discharged within the next two months. He left the psychiatrist’s room shortly after and walked back to his room.
It was an exhausting day for Kyungsoo after a long session of physical therapy, he can’t wait to land onto his own bed and fall into the deep sleep when the physical therapist said the session is over. He slowly walked to his room, holding onto the rails mounted to the hospital walls, and was surprised when he opened the door and heard Soo Yun weeping under her covers.
“Soo Yun?” he asked, and the weeping stopped immediately. He walked over to her bed, worried about her.
“Soo Yun?” he asked again, softly, like he’s whispering. She didn’t budge, and he didn’t want to upset her, so he went to his bed and placed his headphones over his ears. He didn’t know how, but he fell asleep while humming to the song that was playing, and woke up when he felt someone taking the headphones off of him.
“It’s bad to wear these when you’re sleeping.” Soo Yun told him, handing back his headphones.
“Oh, um, thanks.” he stuttered, unplugging the headphones from his phone and putting them back in the dresser. She smiled and looked out of their window.
“Do you..um..want to go take a walk?” He widened his eyes in surprise, not sure if he heard her right. He gave a slight nod in response and stood up, walking a couple steps behind her at first, but caught up to her when she kept turning her head back to look at him. They walked around the garden outside of the hospital and sat on a bench under a large tree so it can shield them from the blazing sun.
“I’m sorry for today.” she apologized, rubbing her thumbs against her hands as she intertwined her fingers on top of her hospital gown. Kyungsoo turned his head to see her, the side profile that he finally gets to see up close. Her short hair is wrapped behind her ear, and he is able to see her face, except for her eyes, the ones that he wanted to see the most.
“What happened?” he asked softly.
“I woke up from a bad dream.”
“Is it okay for you to tell me about it?” she lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes glistened with tears and all Kyungsoo wanted to do right now is to wipe them off and have her in his embrace. He slowly raised his hand, but lowered it back when she quickly wiped the tears away. She collected herself before telling Kyungsoo her dream. She was alone in her dream, no family, no friends, no one that she can lean to.
“You can lean on me. I will not leave your side.” he spoke up suddenly, then avoided her gaze in embarrassment.
“Thank you, Kyungsoo-ah.” he bit his lip, trying to hide the smile his lips wanted to display.
It’s a daily routine for them to take walks after Kyungsoo’s physical therapy session, they would sit on their bench and talk about anything that comes to mind. They found out that they both majored in music in their colleges, he majored in voice and she majored in woodwind instrument, the flute, specifically. She would play the flute on the days where she doesn’t have severe chest pains and he loved watching her play, her slender fingers moving swiftly and the smile she would show after she’s done; these little things make him happy. On the days she have unbearable chest pains, he would hum a song to her to ease her pain.
“Better?” he asked after he finished humming the song to her. They were back in their room when Soo Yun started to complain about the pain. She nodded slightly and asked Kyungsoo to pack her flute away, saying she probably won’t be able to play it anytime soon.
“I have a question.” she spoke softly when Kyungsoo placed her flute back in her closet. He looked up and had eye contact for a second before glancing down a bit. It’s still awkward for him to look at her in the eye as much as he wanted to.
“What is it?”
“What song is it? The one that you always hum to me.”
“Oh um, just a song I’ve been practicing on.” She widened her eyes and gave a small smile.
“Can-will you sing it one day? To me?” her eyes darted down to her blanket and Kyungsoo can’t help but to stretch his smile as wide as possible.
“One day.” he replied, slightly touching her hands that are lying on top of the blanket, causing her to look up and meet with his eyes. She giggled when his eyes immediately shot down to the floor, and he didn’t move until she patted his hand away to go to sleep.
“Kyungsoo-ah…” she said weakly, clutching her fist on her chest. She’s sitting up on her bed, struggling to have her pillow sit upright. He quickly walked over and fix her pillow and grabbed a glass of water with her medication for her to take.
“Better?” he asked after she took her medication. She coughed a bit and shook her head, asking for more water. Kyungsoo called up the nurse to check on Soo Yun and he paced back and forth in their room until she came back. He held her arm to steady herself as she sat on her bed, her doctor said the surgery would have to be pushed up to an earlier date, which will take place next week.
“Kyungsoo-ah…” He quickly moved a chair next to her bed and sat on it, and started to hum the song until she felt asleep. He continued to hum and when he saw her sleeping soundly, he started to sing the song out loud.
I lost my mind,
When you came to my sight,
Everything except you gets in slow motion.
Can you please tell me if this is love?
It’s also that night when he heard her wish.
It’s the day of the surgery and Kyungsoo followed the nurses as they wheeled Soo Yun to the operating room. She stopped them when they arrived outside.
“Can you leave us alone for just a minute?” she asked the nurses. They looked at each other and nodded, patting both of them on the shoulders before leaving.
“Kyungsoo-ah, I…I have something to confess.” she spoke slowly, biting her lips.
“What, what is it?” he asked, curious and scared at the same time.
“I heard you that night, the lines that you sang.” His mind ran across many excuses that he can blurt out, but he chose to stay quiet and looked at her fainting smile.
“Can the one day be tomorrow if the surgery is successful?”
“It WILL be successful.” he replied with a stern voice, clutching onto the rails of her bed tightly. She jolted a bit from the sudden rattling his fists made, and reached her hand out to place it on top of his. The nurses are walking back towards their direction, separating the two when they quickly wheeled her away. Tomorrow.
The surgery was completed successfully after 8 hours; Kyungsoo waited nearby the whole time and could finally let out a sigh of relief when the red light turned off. Soo Yun was wheeled to the intensive care unit and the nurses won’t let him see her.
“You can visit her tomorrow, let her rest for the night.” Feeling dejected, Kyungsoo slowly walked back to their room, not realizing how large it is without her. He’s not used to being alone now after these past few weeks, he slide the curtain over to separate their two beds so he can imagine that she’s having her routine check up with the nurse and fell asleep from exhaustion afterwards. He sat on his bed with his back resting against the pillow, his fingers reaching out for his headphones from the dresser. He knows that she won’t be able to leave the intensive care unit until she’s been fully recovered from the surgery, and that means he would need to sing it to her there. Gathering some ideas he thought of in his head, he walked to the psychiatrist’s office.
“We will accommodate your needs for tomorrow, good luck Kyungsoo.” she said before he bowed and returned to his room.
The nurses notified him that Soo Yun is awake and is slowly adjusting to the pain after the anesthesia has worn off. With the help of the hospital staff, he worn a jean jacket over a t-shirt with a pair of jeans instead of his hospital gown. They waited until Soo Yun took a nap before putting up the decorations. The nurses encouraged Kyungsoo along the way as they decorated the room, and even gave him tips such as kissing the top of her hand and other cheesy things, making him blush from just imagining that possibility. They patted his shoulders before exiting the room, making Kyungsoo more nervous than he already is. When he turned his head back after bidding the nurses goodbye, he saw Soo Yun slowly opening her eyes.
“Hmm? Kyung-” he quickly walked over to her side and gave a gentle smile. She looked puzzled as her eyebrows furrowed from his presence. He took out a toy microphone he borrowed from the pediatric wing and she giggled softly in reply, noticing what he’s going to do. He gently have her sat up on the bed and turned off the ceiling lights, then the mini light bulbs he and the nurses had set up earlier. She widened her eyes and gasped as he stood in front of her, her hands rising up to cover . He cleared his throat several times before holding the microphone up to his lips.
Girl, I can’t explain what I feel.
The mini light bulbs shined brightly as his sweet, melodic voice and the beautiful background music echo throughout the room.
“It’s beautiful.” she gasped when the song is over, tears welling up from her eyes. It startled Kyungsoo, who quickly walked up to her side and wipe her tears off with his thumb. He reached his hand inside his jean pocket and took out a small box. He handed it over to Soo Yun and she opened it slowly, looking at Kyungsoo in disbelief.
“It’s a lotus flower, like your name.” he murmured when she revealed what’s inside the box. She admired the tiny lotus flower in every angle, holding it like it’s her most treasured possession.
“Can you help me wear it?” Kyungsoo don’t need to answer that question as he quickly wrapped the necklace around her neck. She touched the lotus flower that is resting right beneath her neck and looked up to meet Kyungsoo’s eyes.
“This is like a fairy tale ending.” she breathed out, her lips stretched to a beautiful smile and her eyes twinkled like the stars in the sky. He smiled back and reached out for her hand before pressing his lips down against her soft skin.
“It’s not a fairy tale ending without a kiss.”
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