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A prime age of 7, the pure and sweet childhood day that would become a precious memory once we grew up, laughing and smiling broadly as those memory film would play. A pleasant memory that would remind them of the beautiful things that they had done in the early days. A story that they would tell their children and grand children proudly.

However, even at such tender age, not everybody was lucky enough to experience such joy and love as they were back then. Some of them forcefully tried to deny the fact that they’re not okay. Some of them, would comfort themselves when people intentionally hurt them. Some of them would close their eyes, sitting at the back of the corner while gazing at his unrealistic dream behold before him where his friends would laugh at each other, playfully giving light punches to his friend, they were happy.

Some of those unlucky people, is Nam Taehyun

He was one of those who would hug himself to sleep, clutching onto his only childhood possession, a beat up rag teddy bear doll who would accompany him to his dreams and sometimes, ironically he would think that the lifeless human creation would comfort him.

He was one of those who would put out an iron barricade towards the other, trying to act impermeable to all of those teasing’s and hurtful words, trying to act like he didn’t care a single thing they said but in reality, every words they spat out brought out another hole inside his damaged heart.

He was one of those who would hide beneath the shadow at the back seat just by the window, watching in envy of his classmates who would play with each other with bright smile on their faces, not even a slight thing cross their mind about the wanting eyes who yearned to play with them together.

That is the cruel reality for Nam Taehyun,

In other word, they were happy…

And little Taehyun on the other hand, forced himself to be happy

In the early morning, he would walk a rather far and tiring 2 km way to his school, not minding the coldness that strike his thin sweater and his old boots that was by now growing holed just by its side. Putting his palm together, that was covered in his once white mittens, rubbing his hands together to create some warmth within his trembling body, Taehyun started his day.

It took him a long and cold 15 minutes to reach his destination. Gwang Ju elementary school was now covered in little white frost all around the field as children would happily pilled up the snow, forming a snowball, as they would happily play the traditional snow ball game with their friends.

As always, even when he tried not to, Taehyun would always found his brown orbs trailing behind his shoulders, watching the other kinds in jealousy before he straighten his shoulders and entered to building alone.

Once in a while, he would imagine himself in their position, as unrealistic as it can be. Tossing the pure white snow to his friends, laughing and finally experiencing what a true smile would felt like. And how beautiful his world would look like.

Yet at the end, he would shake his head and forced himself to withdrawer his eyes from the scene, even when he knew how much he longed to be a part of it.

The hallways were packed as always. Students laughing and chatting with their groups, deciding what to play on the upcoming recess or maybe shared some gossip about the recent cartoon movies that just came out.  That’s the normal school live everybody knew.

But to Taehyun, everything was different.

Once the little boy stepped his foot onto the wooden floor, the deafening silence came gradually. Students stopped in their track as they faced the new comer in their territory and cleared out a way for him, almost like a reflex reaction, clearing a pathway for him to enter as if he was a royalty.

A tainted royalty.

“It’s Taehyun” Some of them would whisper lowly as if that name was actually cursed.

“He’s the one that lives in that dark street”

“You know, last year, his daddy got into he ja-“

Stop

Before he could hear what the third kid could mutter another syllable from his mouth, Taehyun little feet would drag them down across the corridor, clutching tightly onto his backpacks, which was decorated with stiches.

Any more word he hears would have caused his iron barricade to shatter, crumbling down into tiny bits of pieces. Little Taehyun managed to ignore all of the comments his classmates would have thrown him all the way, no matter how hurtful it would have pained him, he didn’t said a word. The day after incident, Innocent Taehyun would came to his school, knowing nothing about his situation, walking merrily and if he could do some jump on his way to school. It was just a normal and sunny day to start his day and little Taehyun couldn’t even wait to meet his friends.

Once in a while he would have waved his hands enthustiacally towards everyone just like any other day and as a habit of his own, Taehyun would always count how many waves he would get back and would beam happily if he got more waves than he counted yesterday.

Such small gestures and innocent motion would make such child happy.

Yet, nobody shared his waves that day

Once Taehyun entered the school, it was completely silence just like today. Little Taehyun would wonder why was everybody creating such a big entrance for him to come. Was someone behind him? He would look back naively but found nothing but a gentle breeze that would go past his hair.

Reluctantly, he resolved himself to haul a step forward to the large space given while scanning his eyes towards everybody. They were either ignoring his sincere eye contact or either gazed at him with something naïve Taehyun would’ve never understand at such age,

They were starring at him in disgust.

“Mino hyung” the innocent boy would beam as all of those complicated thoughts of his disappear once he saw the familiar faces of his best friend, standing along with the separated crowd, gazing at him but then his gaze falter at the sound of his name.

Taehyun would smile and ran towards his best friend, giving him a light hug as a habit of his to show how much his friendship towards the world but today, as the petite boy showered him with sincerity, the older boy didn’t smile. He didn’t hug him like how it used to be. He was silence and froze just like that in the statue, eyes trembling at the million eyes that were watching him with judgment before he realized what the boy had done to him and shoved him, hard.

Once upon a time they would laugh brightly and played together, shoving each other in a silly manner before rolling down the luscious green hill together, laying side by side

“Don’t touch me,” Mino coldly said as he narrowed his eyebrow at him, slitting them into thin line as his eyes glared at Taehyun’s confused and hurt one, so deeply hurt. With his ever so stiff shoulder, Mino was gone

“Mino hyung” the boy, even after his betrayal treatment ironically would still reached out his tiny palms towards his lost hyung, hoping that he would reached it

But Mino never did

Or did anyone

Everything was gone from Taehyun’s live

That day has been the start of Taehyun’s misery. At such tender age, he would receive such harsh discrimination from other children and sadly, his own teacher. Taehyun cried and cried when the other children would bullied him, calling him names he didn’t even proved himself worthy to be called at yet he was all alone, all alone to feel the pain. To suffer alone.

Back in those days Taehyun would still cry, hoping that somebody would’ve lend a hand at him, bringing him up just like how a bright and shy Nam Taehyun would be like. Yet even after his countless waiting, nobody shared his pain and left him to a process that was so fatal, it ruined his precious childhood memory.

At the age of 7, Taehyun learned to grow up.

At the age of seven, Taehyun learned about how dark and scary the world is. He learned that no matter how hard he cried, nobody would listen to him.  No matter how much he asked his friends to stop bullying him, they would not stop. No matter how much it hurts him, they would not stop.

Because those kids hasn’t grown up and Taehyun did.

Because the world just simply goes that way

When he learned to grow up, he learned to never ever trust anyone if he didn’t want to get hurt. He learned that in order to protect himself, he must shut himself from the world. He learned that once he had grown up, Taehyun has to let go of one thing.

Cruelly, Taehyun would leave his happy self behind his memories. All of his laughter that he shared to his so-called friends was now locked shut inside his past and put on an iron barricade to protect him.

Untill that day

“Hello, I’m Choi Surin, What’s your name?”

After all that time, his waiting was over

And all it takes was just one innocent gesture