Sehun was a young man. But he was very lonely. Was it because he wasn't smart enough? Well, he left school but he never got to know why. After a normal day of school nobody went picking him up. Neither opened the door as he got home. Why would someone ignore their own son? What did he ever do wrong? He didn't know. 

After a few days of feeling the worse you can feel, walking nowhere exactly, he decided to live in the woods. He had no money to afford a house, he had no friends, where else would he go? 
He quickly learned how to hunt some animals for surviving, it was easier than he thought because instincts took over him. This was his new life. Sleep under a tree, wake up by some birds singing, go hunt for the rest of the day. He wanted to live but this was no life for him. He had always dreamed about getting married and have kids. But here, somewhere nowhere, who could he possibly find? Not even animals stayed longer than a day with him. 

One day, the sunset looked so beautiful that he decided to go watch it from near. He went to the sea near the forest he was staying at and found a place to sit down and enjoy the view. Since the first time he ever saw a sunset until now, he was fascinated by it, so much, that he had drawn probably hundreds of pictures of the sunset. But they were all left behind, in his old home. The young boy somehow knew that he would never return and the moment he realised it he grew very nostalgic. Cried for days until he felt dry. Dry Like the desert. He was left without emotions, without hope. He remembered that while watching the sun fade into the night. 

He grew familiar with the cold breeze. It was like his heart, he thought. Sometimes, he even felt like laughing at how miserably his life had become.  After two years of living in hell itself, he decided to go out of the woods, somewhere much further. It wasn't easy to make this kind of decision but he was very sure, he had this feeling, something good would happen. Without more thoughts wasted, he left the only place he had felt safe. 

As the tall, slim boy was walking around, he suddenly felt a hand touching his shoulder. The moment he took notice of it, his body froze, standing still, as if somebody would have given him a magic spell to do so. Behind him, a boy, a pretty handsome one, to be honest, was waiting for the other to turn around as he felt him stiffing on place. Jongin, also a young, tall man, found it amusing. Not because the blond male wasn't moving, but because he had been watching him from afar. He knew him. 

"Oh Sehun, if you'd like to turn around, to give your old best friend a hug. That'd be very nice of you." 

Slowly, that's how Sehun's body reacted, he left a long, relieved sigh considering all the air he was holding in.

"Kim Jongin? Ho-whe-how?" 

The brunette had a growing smile placed on his face while his eyes where shining beautifully under the moonlight, Sehun noticed. 

"Did you miss me? I can't believe I'm this lucky to see you again considering that I wasn't go-" 
"Jongin, do you know how much I've missed you?", he was shaking to this point, tears forming in his eyes,"It's like I'm dead. Nobody has talked to me in two years. I feel invisible, like a pity to the whole world."

 Sehun would have liked to keep talking but his body wouldn't let him. He was shaking, crying and already on the ground embracing Jongin's legs. The shorter couldn't help but keep quiet as he saw how Sehun collapsed on his feet. He also had tears on his eyes, but the only difference here was, that he knew why. This wasn't the right moment to tell him though, he decided and took Sehun into his arms, carrying him while walking down the now, silent streets.  

It was already 11am in the morning and Sehun was still sleeping on Jongin's bed. He didn't care actually, two years of sleeping elsewhere but on a bed, it must have been tough for this guy. 
The older by three months, had already took a shower, made breakfast and even gone jogging. He didn't go to work that day and later the same day, Sehun had blushed immensely, because Jongin had told him, it was because of him. 
The younger had waken up after his nose had caught a beautiful smell coming from the kitchen. He wasn't disappointed, when he left the other's room to just find the most pleasant sight in the last two years of his life. 
Jongin had cooked beefsteak with a fair sauce that looked delicious and a piece of orange on top of the meat. Beside the fancy piece of meat, pasta, looking more expensive than it should. 
Of course he had made this fancy lunch, Sehun realised after blinking a few times. He used to want to become a chef. Had he made that possible? He made sure to ask him. 

"It smells like heaven! I forgot you loved cooking. Made anything out of it?" 
"Hah, you're cute. No, I didn't. I would have begun next year but..Erm.. Something came up. I don't think I can attend the chef-school", he had now become serious,"Guess it'll stay a dream." 
"Don't say such meaningless things! With your skills I swear you'd become the youngest best chef around the world." 

Oh Sehun could feel how his whole body was brightening up after finishing his sentence. But Jongin wasn't. 

"It's easy to say those things. But you don't know, you don't really know why we're here in the first place", Kim Kai, that's how Sehun used to call him, had now a very dark aura around him. What would Sehun know about auras? He didn't. But he could feel it. 

"Jonginnie, why so serious right now? I mean, I don't think I can make my dreams come true anymore, hell, I don't even have any anymore. But you, as I can see, your life is everything someone would love to have. Tell me Kai", at the mention of that name, the older looked up with sad eyes,"Why can't you attend the chef-school? Did something happen?" 

The table was set, the plates loaded with delicious food, each had a cup of homemade tea, though nobody was eating yet. Jongin had his hands covering his now tearing eyes, while Sehun was standing behind the sitting boy trying to comfort him like the other did yesterday. They were childhood friends after all. Promises, memories made, them both had broken and forgotten. 

Sehun took one of Jongin's hands and made him stand up to face him. With red puffy eyes, Jongin looked up to see the taller making a "It's okay I'm here" gesture. But Jongin knew better so he, once again, started crying. But even harder this time. There was nothing Sehun could do, he thought, as he carried Jongin to his room, breathing heavy into his chest. Once he couldn't hear those sobs anymore, he realised the elder had fallen asleep. 
He left the room and went to the long forgotten table with food on it, to clean up. He put everything in the refrigerator, considering they would eat later when Jongin wakes up. Sehun sat down on the couch and watched television for ten minutes before he drowned to sleep. He missed the news about Jongin. 

After two hours the shorter had woken up, with a huge headache, that is. He went to the kitchen and he could see Sehun lying on the couch but before the shivers could come up his spine he looked away. He took some medicine and left the kitchen. Sitting down next to Sehun, he took the sleeping boy's head and put it on his thighs. Jongin couldn't contain the tears from falling again but he was much calmer than before. Like he was used to it. Remembering the two years without his friend, how was his friend even able to smile? 

It had all happened so fast. He only remembered how he saw Sehun's body lying on the streets in front of the school and quickly ran to him. There was blood all around and nothing Jongin could do to save his best friend from dying. Sehun had lost his life. Thank to the school's bus. The driver had quickly called the ambulance and made everything for the young man to survive but he had hit his head and died instantly. But his soul, his conscience had stayed here. And worst of all, Sehun didn't even know he was dead. But Jongin knew, he saw the sadness in his best friend's eyes, that told him that he was scared. But still oblivious that he didn't exist anymore. Jongin wanted to scream saying how much it hurt. It hurt to know that Sehun didn't know, not only that he wasn't alive anymore but also, that maybe Jongin wasn't either. 

He wanted him to finally rest in peace, that's why he had attempted suicide. But he didn't succeed, making him fall in a comma for now, forty-eight hours. Jongin knew he wasn't dead, he felt lost, sometimes got to hear his parents pleads for him to wake up, but he couldn't. He couldn't wake up now, now that he finally had found Sehun. His bestie, his first love, his everything. 
After he had passed away, he could still feel the warmth of him around. At first it felt weird but after a while he had said that it was Sehun still around them. Nobody had believed the young man back then and told him over and over again to get over it. Of course not just forget him, but accept the fact that he'd gone. How could Jongin even do that when he felt him around? Every time it rained, it was like Sehun was crying, and he cried too.
 He never got to tell Sehun how much he loved him, even though he knew. They liked each other, and both had known it. Innocent touches, leading to warm embraces, little things both loved. He had said how much he loved him every time he went visiting Sehun's grave. White rose in one hand each time. Promised that he would say it with him there, if he would get a chance to do so. And after two hard years of missing him, he decided it was time for him to find the taller.

 It was funny how after two years, Jongin couldn't surpass Sehun, who had stopped growing, after he passed away. He hadn't changed. It was like he had seen him just the same day. But Jongin, he looked older. Not necessary because of those years, but because he hadn't taken care of himself. Why would he either way? 

The moment Sehun opened his eyes, Jongin knew he had to tell him. 

"Sehun", he calmly started,"you need to know something. Why I'm here, why you are here.."

There was nothing Sehun had to say, so he kept quiet. He sat up, looking into Jongin's eyes. 

"Promise me, you will be okay. I need you to understand this. It's not gonna be easy but I'm here right now okay?"
"Yes."
Letting out a light sigh, he continued; 
"Sehun. You.. You aren't alive. You died instantly two years ago. It.. it was in front of the school. You had waved me goodbye but you didn't see the school bus approaching you. It hit you and the next second you were dead." Jongin looked up to look into Sehun's eyes. All he found was confusion, fear and calmness. 
"Then you are dead too?" The younger surprisingly calm asked. 
"N-no. I'm dying. I..committed suicide. Two days ago. They're trying to save me, but I don't.. Sehun.. I don't wanna live if you're not there. I came to save you. To make sure you're resting in peace because I knew you weren't. Sehun," he held his hand," I knew you were still here, I knew you hadn't found peace. As if there was something you still were here for. But I didn't know.. Until I saw you yesterday.. I didn't expect that you didn't know you were dead." The older was sobbing by now, still holding onto Sehun's hand. 
"So, you aren't dead? You are just here to make sure I find peace? What about you, you moron, have you ever thought about how you feel?" Sehun said. 
"I didn't know I was dead. But I felt.. I felt dead. I think I've been given a second chance to see you again. Even if it's for a short time, Kim Kai." Sehun was very calm. Painfully calm. But inside he was a mess. But he understood. He wasn't someone, who couldn't accept facts. He quickly accepted his death. But he would never accept Jongin to die. Not for him. 

"Kai. If you only did this to save me. Please. It's time for you to keep living your life. I've accepted it. I will protect you from above. I will be there," he pointed to Jongin's heart,"Forever. Right?" Jongin had tears in his eyes and felt like passing away any second but he managed to nod silently. 
"I can't go now, Sehun. I've only seen you for some hours and I.." 
"You need to make those dreams come true. You need to be a chef. You need to keep dancing and cooking. You need to fall in love and make a family. You-"
"I don't think I can," he looked down, "I was supposed to make a family with you. I was supposed to cook for you, to dance for you. I was supposed..to always be with you." The last sentence, he whispered. It was silent enough for Sehun to hear though.

He wrapped his arms around him and clenched his jaw. He didn't want to cry. He was much weaker than the shorter was, but he didn't care. For Jongin, he needed to be the strongest. 
Jongin felt cold even if Sehun had his arms around him. But he didn't care. He hold onto him thigh. He didn't want to let go of him. He loved him. He was the reason of his every move. 
They stayed like this for good half an hour.  Sehun felt so selfish. That he had him there, when he knew, he had to be in someone else's embrace. Maybe his parent's. Jongin didn't feel better though. He knew that, if he woke up, he would loose Sehun forever. He refused to. He had lost him once and now a second time? No. He couldn't. 

"Let's visit my grave Kim Kai", Sehun blurted out, breaking the embrace. 
"Are you sure? I don't even know if I can." 
"Jonginnie.. You need to let go. You need to live your life. It will be okay.." 
"Hunnie. I can not. I love you. You know that. I know you love me too. So why? Why are you doing this to me? I wanna be with you, no matter what. I wanna spend our after life together, since we couldn't do that alive. I don't know what will happen in the future, I don't know how long I will be able to have you like this", Jongin stood up,"I would like to believe it's forever. But I don't know.. I just don't know.."
"..And I need you alive. I need you to be alive, Jongin. They say, if you die instantly, you don't suffer, but how would they know? I've spent two years suffering more than I had suffered all the years alive. I'm living in hell, Jongin. And.. And I don't know why. What did I do wrong? What.. Why do I have to suffer? I'm sure, you don't wanna go trough this, Jongin. You know how much I love you. You've always known. I don't...I don't want you to suffer, baby. I want you to be with me when the time has called for it. And right now, it's not the right time." 
"Everything happens for a reason. I used to believe that, when someone good dies, it's because they need angels up the sky. But after I grew up, I noticed, it was for the bad people, Sehun. To punish them. To make them live in hell itself without the good. Do you think anyone around us was bad? I have been thinking about it for the last two years but.. I don't seem to find the reason. Do you think there is even a reason? I had to find out. But you aren't an angel. And also, you aren't in peace. So, why? Why you? Maybe.. The last two years was for me to join you. To make hell heaven, Sehun. That's why I'm here with you now." 
"You're talking nonsense Kai. Us. It didn't happen for a reason. As you said. Maybe I was in your way. You'll meet someone special. Someone who will love you. Like I loved you. But for a life time. You need to let go, Kai. I have no dreams to fulfil..but you still have a chance. I know how much you loved living. I know you wanted to die all old and -" 
"But I wanted to die with you. With both of us being old. Having lived a life. But you didn't. And I can't either. I'm happy with you. I'm happy, when we're together." 
"You are not. You've been crying for the past few hours, because you know, you know, you have to wake up. You will wake up. Please let's not make things harder. I'll be there when you wake up. I will be holding your hand. I promise, when I see you're awake, I will find my peace. And you, you need to carry on with your life. Okay? Jongin please. Please. We need to go. I can see there is not much time left before you wake up. You're fading away." 
"I decide when I wake up, Hunnie. And I don't wanna." 
"But your body does. Come on. Let's go." 
 
With that, they headed over to Sehun's grave. It felt so warm this time. But he felt so cold inside. He knew this would e the first and only time, they will be visiting this grave together. Sehun looked at the red rose lying there. 

"Was it you?", he asked, almost sure of the brunette's answer. 
"Yes. I put it there just- two days ago. Before attempting suicide. Normally, I would put a white rose. But, I thought, since it would be the last one, I brought a red one instead. Do you like it?"
He locked their hands together. 
"I love it. But I do prefer the white ones. You know.. White has always been my secret favourite colour. But people would say it's not very manly. So that's why I always told it was brown. But, thinking about it, I'm not very manly myself."  Both laughed at his comment. Kai looked down and smiled. "I knew it was white. Whenever I bought candy you would always choose the white ones. Even if it was the worst flavour!"

They stayed there for forty minutes talking about stories. Stories they wanted to tell to their future kids, or just to people they'd meet in their lifetime. But destiny had other plans. He felt how Jongin started to fade away from him, so both decided it was time to head to the hospital. Time seemed to move faster, faster than it should. It was Jongin's last few minutes with Sehun. And he had to make sure they were worth it.

When they arrived to the hospital, the room was empty, only the sound of beeping machines and it smelled so nice, Sehun thought. Jongin saw himself and hesitated for a second, before turning to Sehun telling him, they should leave and never come back. Sehun took his hands, placed them on his face and closed his eyes. Jongin did the same, still hesitating a bit, but much calmer now that Sehun was holding him. The first, only and most heartbreaking kiss was shared that day. It was heartbreaking because, Sehun would go and Jongin would stay. But no living soul would ever know they kissed. Not even themselves. 

"I will always love you Oh Sehun", Jongin said, trying hard not to cry because he didn't want the taller to go with guilt. 
"And I love you Kim Jongin. My Kim Kai. Thank you for finding me and for rescuing me. I hope you'll never forget that, we found each other. And said those words. Please. Wake up now." 
And with that, Jongin let go of Sehun's hand forever. 

"Sehun. Sehun.. Sehun!" Jongin sat up from his bed, hesitating looking around. One minute later, a nurse came in trying to calm him down. Why was he alive? He wanted to be with Sehun. Crying, he shouted, screamed words nobody's mouth should ever leave. Until the doctor came by and calmed him down with medicine. 

Sehun didn't get to see the show, as he vanished, closing his eyes, the moment Jongin left his side. He whispered to himself a last goodbye and with that, he left forever. 

Eighteen years had passed, and here was Jongin, sitting beside Sehun's grave.

"I brought you a white rose again, Sehunnie. It's been twenty years already and it still feels so fresh. I wish I would have been able to tell you how much I loved you. I know someday I will. I got to believe that. You know, my family still thinks I should get over you. But my heart, Hunnie. My heart doesn't want to. I will forever have to live this way. Me saying how much I love you even though you can't hear me. I gave up on everything Sehunnie. I gave up on my chef career and my dance career. I gave up on hope. I'm like a living corpse. But I don't care. Actually, I don't know how I'm still standing if everything I do is come here everyday. I barely eat. Barely sleep. I only want to see you again Sehun. Life's been so mean to me. To you too. Is there an afterlife? Do you already have someone else there? Oh Sehunnie, I wish I would be there with you." He looked up, to see the sky. "Are you an angel Sehun? Are you watching over me? Now that I'm old and ugly would you still want me? Hah Hunnie,"he looked to the grave again, "remember when..." He couldn't finish, as his words were cut off by his heavy breathing. Followed by coughs. "Se-", more coughs were heard, "I have to go now. I love you." He managed to finish his sentence before standing up and leaving.  Never returning again. 

Epilogue
It's sad, how people don't know what happens after they die. 
For Jongin, he never got to know that he told Sehun he loved him. He never knew, that Sehun wanted him to live his life how he dreamed. Instead, he let go of everything. He let his life carry him away. 
Sehun, other than Jongin, had found peace. The moment he vanished away, he believed that Jongin would live happily. He had heard those three words he wanted to hear and also say. He kissed those lips. He had died twenty years ago, but he left eighteen years ago. He experienced two years of hell but still, he found peace. 
Jongin however, didn't. Even though he left the moment he closed his eyes, the life he lived was, what Sehun had called his afterlife, hell. 
Some people experience hell living, some dead. Few never do. But you never know what waits for you. And after all, we all find peace. Even if it takes longer than we ever lived. Because nothing lasts forever. But at the same time, it lasts long enough for us to know. 

A/N

Love you Mweonnie. Thank you all for reading. ♥