I N N E R C I R C L E

PART I V

DYSJUNCTURE

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14.

“You know, big boy.” Mino looked up when he heard Seungyoon’s voice. It was way past midnight and they still lock themselves at the studio working on the third album that god-knows-when-will-be-finished-much-less-released. “People think things got better if you just don’t give a about it. It doesn’t work that way.” He looked puzzled at the leader’s statement.

“What do you mean, leader?”

“Just think about it for a second.” From the couch across the room, Seungyoon shrugged and reached out to grab the water bottle. He twisted the cap open and downed half the bottle. Mino stared at the younger man for a bit; he slowly spoke in an uncertain way: “I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about. Our work, you mean? The fact that we merely got to produce our 3rd album and this is the 3rd year we’re active as a band?”

“Well, we got paid to give a about that…” Seungyoon laughed out loud, then sighed loudly. “I’m talking about other stuff that got your personal life all messed up. It’s, well, affecting everybody.”

“Like what…” Mino tilted his head in doubt, then suddenly opened his eyes widely, staring at  Seungyoon, who slowly rolled his eyes at the oblivious rapper. “Yeah. That.” Mino shut his mouth tightly as he wondered to himself who Seungyoon was talking about. That thought made him slightly scoff. What an he is, indeed, to have to wonder which scandalous relationship is being discovered.

“Well, leader.” He cleared his throat before looking at the guy again, this time with colder eyes. “I don’t know what you imply but I can hold my ground well.”

“You sure can.” Seungyoon laughed heartily. “I have no doubt about it whatsoever.” His eyes turned icy as the smile froze on his lips. “But you’re not just holding your ground. You stepped on mine in this matter, big boy.”

“Really, if you can just get to the damn point, I would ing appreciate it, Yoonie.” Mino exhaled deeply as he broke eye contact. He could feel the tension in the room; it’s no use fighting with Seungyoon about a mysterious cause that he wasn’t even sure if he was in the right. “What do you want me to give a about?”

“Your feelings.” Seungyoon’s kept the answer short and sweet. “Your messy feelings are ing up your life, and I need you to get a hold of yourself.”

“What the actual are you talking about, for real, Kang Seungyoon.” Mino angrily glared at his band mate one more time. He didn’t know what kind of answer Seungyoon would give – the question was, however, who would Mino rather have Seungyoon know as the one involved with him, Seunghoon or Taehyun.

“Work on your problems and stop screwing with Namtae is what I’m trying to say.” Seungyoon nonchalantly spoke as he tried to open the water bottle once again for a second gulp. Mino couldn’t help but stared at the maknae-leader in awe. He felt… neither exposed nor uncomfortable is what it really was, what he was feeling. He wondered why he never asked himself, how would other people in the band act if they know what was happening. How far did they know? How could they not, Mino thought. He never stopped to think about anything else, but Seunghoon, and whatever else was in his head at that moment – mostly Seunghoon, the Seunghoon who never wanted him the way he need. Does Taehyun know? Does Jinwoo know? Does Seungyoon know? About us? That was never his concern. Does Seunghoon know? About him and Taehyun? He shuddered. God, does Seunghoon know?

“That was a long and awkward silence.” Seungyoon said out loud. Mino was startled at the sound. “Am I talking to myself or what?”

“Sorry, Seungyoon, I was just thinking…” Mino mumbled as he tried to control himself. His fingers started shaking uncontrollably; he resisted by clenching his fists and hiding them in his pocket.

“Hiding your hand tremor?” Seungyoon continued to ask. He didn’t shy away from the fierce eye contacts, nor did he feel bad about saying things as they are. “You should probably stop your drinking too, big boy. If you’re ed in the head, best not let your body take the fall for it.”

“Did you just say that I’m ed in the head?” Mino couldn’t believe in the rudeness in Seungyoon’s words. The good-natured, polite, and well-behaved guy w