Tears
In heavenSeohyun's POV
Kyu, I have been waiting, waiting for three years. And every single second of these three long
years, I have prayed to god that you will wake up one day. I have spent uncountable hours beside
your bed, look after you for every single night, in hope that you will respond. But my actions are
apparently in vain, for you have yet to show any signs of movement. The electrocardiogram reflected your
heartbeat as 30 beats per minute, which is half of our normal heartbeat, telling us you are still alive, but
somewhere, somehow, something is wrong...
For three years we have waited.
Kibum and Hankyung came back for you. Super junior can finally be 13 again, once Heechul
and Eeteuk oppa are released from National Service. You would have loved to see them, don't
you? Hankyung oppa’s Hangul has improved tremendously, so good that he could pass off as a
native Korean. He always jokes with me that when you wake up, he will surprise you with the
Seoul Satorri. He even said that he will practice all the different accents, if only you will wake
up, yes, if only you will wake up…
Kibum oppa decided to return to Super Junior permanently for you, can you actually believe it? He
said he can't bear the lost of Suju's Evil maknae for the second time after your accident in 2007, and
that he will feel bad since Hankyung Oppa returned to Suju too despite the contract issues. He doesn't
want to be the only member missing. Ironically, you are now the only one missing, you know that?
Though Eetuek and Heechul Oppa are still in the army, they send me text messages
almost every single day, not wanting to miss the news of you waking up. Yesung oppa will
always be by your side, humming your favourite songs, speaking to you, and every time he
leaves, your bed sheet will be soaking wet. Eunhyuk Oppa and Donghae oppa are always the first
to be at your side every morning, sometimes even before I arrive. Kangin oppa and sungmin
oppa are so much closer now! They visit you together, and Kangin oppa, being the forever
“tough” guy, will always rebuke Sungmin oppa for shedding tears, saying that you will not
want to wake up if he was so sad, yet his own eyes betrayed himself, showing signs of glittering
liquid.
Siwon Oppa prays with me everyday. After you went into the state of coma, he has been my mental support.
Without his words of wisdom from the bible to keep me strong, I would have buckled under all the depression
and sadness. You must definitely thank him when you wake up, arrasso?
Shindong oppa has gained weight again, because when he sees you lying there, motionless on the
hospital bed, he can do nothing but to cry, and food is the only thing that can give him a little
reassurance, though it is nothing compared to the pain of losing their precious maknae for 3
years. Ryewookie refuses to cook when all the members are not present. He is afraid that his
food might be too salty, too salty from his unstoppable tears. Yes, you are the only one missing
from SJ now.
And can you believe it? Zhou Mi and Henry came to visit you too. Henry even composed songs
for you, songs he hope you can sing when you wake up. He said he is willing to compose any
song for you. And when I listen to the flowing melody and lyrics, I can’t help but cry.
Everything in his music reflected the pain when he received the news of you going into a
coma… and reflected his hope of you standing up and singing his songs again.
Zhou Mi would read to you Chinese books every time he visits, saying that you were the best in
Chinese among all the SJ-M members, and that the sound of Chinese will definitely wake your
brain cells up. But every time he reads, he will be forced to stop half way. Why? Simply because
he is overwhelmed by tears. Every single book he reads to you will be salty with tears by the
time he leaves, just like your bed sheets when Yesung oppa leaves…
And the E.L.Fs. They are waiting for you too. They are waiting for that Cho Kyuhyun with that
charming and angelic voice of his. Your room will be filled with flowers, fruit baskets and get well
soon cards. Sometimes your room is so crammed that we have to split the gifts among Super
Junior and SNSD. It’s weird, isn’t it? Us eating food meant for you? And can you believe it?
One of fans even send you a whole box of abalone! See how much your fans misses you?
And here I am, caressing your sculpted features; I know you are hanging in there, for super
junior, for the E.L.Fs, and for me. You have fought this battle for 3 years, but why? Why can't
you just wake up? Our engagement ring is still there, on the ring finger of my left hand. I will
never forget the day you proposed to me during our SM Town duet performance. You simply
slipped the ring onto my finger, without any hint, any signs; You simply said “Will you marry
me?” ; and I simply said “Yes”.
Surprisingly Lee Sooman-shii agreed to our engagement. Kyu, I don’t think I will ever
know how you convinced Lee Sooman sunbaenim, but you definitely did a good job. The evil
maknae of super junior always has this charm, don’t you? The wedding was already all planned
out, ready to take place on 3rd February, your birthday. Our DBSK sunbaes also came back for
SM’s first couple. They were going to sing “Bolero” and “Crazy Love” for us, remember?
Everything was going on smoothly, until… until the day at the photo-shooting site…
Why must you be stupid enough to push me aside? Why must you be the one who gets hit by that
heavy spotlight? Why? Why? It was merely a week to our wedding, do you know that? Merely a
week to everlasting happiness! Merely a week…
I told you to reject that particular offer, and I even told you to change a position while posing for our
couple picture after you refused to turn down that offer. But why didn’t you listen to me? Do you know
how guilty I feel right now? I feel so guilty I could have jumped off the SM building. All these years, I
have been haunted by guilt, and by the thought that if I had insisted, you will not be in this state, this
state of... this state of... oblivion
Kyu, after all these years of giving in to you, can you just grant me one wish?
It is very simple.
Just wake up, Kyu,
for me......
Will you fulfill my one and only wish?
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