Moon Chae Won is a 23 years old girl that taking her course in Engineering School. She has a beautiful face that makes most women envy her. Boys are looking at her but she never gives them any attention because all these times, her heart is only for one person, Song Joong Ki. They have been schoolmate since junior high and from then, she already loves him. But, he never looks at her like the way she looks at him.

 

When they are in their senior years, Song Joong Ki has a girlfriend that is the same age with them. She is one of the popular girls in the school and he really likes her a lot. Her name is Park Shin Hye. Moon Chae Won cry by herself because she was really hurt by the fact and she starts to try to stop her feelings to Joong Ki and accept their relationship.

 

After three years, which is in their college days, Song Joong Ki broke up with Park Shin Hye and it would be a lie if Moon Chae Won didn’t feel a little happy because after all she still likes him. After all these times, she still loves him. No matter how hard she tried, she can’t do it. Coincidentally, or it would be called more to fate, Moon Chae Won, Song Joong Ki and Park Shin Hye getting chosen at the same college and both Chae Won and Joong Ki take the same course while Shin Hye is different.

 

Chae Won never knows the reason why Joong Ki and Shin Hye broke up eventhough her curiosity is torturing her but she doesn’t want to be such a pathetic girl. However, through her close friends, Moon Geun Yong, she said that Shin Hye cheated on Joong Ki. When Joong Ki knows about it he broke up with her. That was 6 months ago.

 

Now, Moon Chae Won is officially dating with Song Joong Ki. After spending some time together at the class as they were taking the same course, Joong Ki somehow has grow some feelings to her and he ask Chae Won to be his girlfriend two months ago. Chae Won really happy about that because she feels like her dream has just gone true. Nothing can explain her feelings that time. Contented. Blissful. Grateful. Happy. Amused. It’s not enough even how many words of happiness to describe her feelings.

 

Chae Won and Joong Ki have been together for two months and throughout these times, Chae Won felt so happy even though sometimes she feels like Joong Ki still have some feelings with Shin Hye. But, Chae Won loves him so much that is why she doesn’t dare to bring that topic with him. She afraid that once she talks about it, she will lose him. Losing him means a hell to her and she has no strength to do that.

  “Chae Won, where do you want to go?” Joong Ki asked when both of them in the car.

 

“Let’s go to Secret Recipe. I’m craving for some sweet things,” she said cheerfully because that is her nature.

 

Chae Won is such an adorable girl and also cheerful. Everyone around her will smile with her cuteness and she always thinking positive in her life. She tries hard on everything and never gives up. Maybe, that is one of the reason she have Joong Ki together by her side.

 

“Alright,” Joong Ki agreed and starts the engine.

 

Throughout their drive, it was silence and it’s always been like that. They feel comfortable with the silence and only letting the radio to fill the silence.

 

“You know, she didn’t like sweet things,” he breaks the silence and her heart. He doesn’t need to say the name he was talking about, she knows it all who she is.

 

Time like this is not the first time to her. He still talks about his past girlfriend. He still didn’t get over her fully. Chae Won gripped the seatbelt to hold her feeling, the hurt she feels in her heart, the pain and all she can do is to smile. Smile to covers the hurt she felt.

 

“I see,” that is all she can answer to him.

 

“She said sweet things is not good for health and she also said that sweet things have high calories and once she take sweet things, her diet that week will get wasted just like that,” he said and ends it with a small laugh.

 

Chae Won just listens he says that even though every word that coming from him ripping her part by part. She holds the seat belt tighter until her knuckles becomes white. She feels like she wants to cry but she holds it. It’s not like this is the first time he talked about Shin Hye but throughout these times, she holds it for the sake of their relationship. Because she loves him too much, that is why she doesn’t want to leave him. It is all because she loves him too much she prefer to suffer a little and believe that he will forget his past girlfriend over time and learn to love her fully.

 

There is also times when Chae Won feels like he doesn’t love her at all and once time she asked him.

 

“Joong Ki oppa,” she called.

 

“Huh, what is it?”

 

Chae Won looks at the sky and Joong Ki was waiting for her by her side to talk. He was looking at her and Chae Won averts her eyes from the sky to Joong Ki.

 

“Do you love me?” she asks after building a lot of courage.

 

He was taken aback by her question and he felt shocked because that question is seems unlikely to come from her. He don’t know why she asks that question to him so sudden.

 

“Why are you asking like that? Is there something wrong?” He asks worriedly.

 

She shook her head.

 

Joong Ki pulled her closer to him and put one of his hands around her shoulder and planted a kiss on her head.

 

“That was a stupid question, you know? Of course I love you,” he says truthfully and holds her tighter.

She smiles.

 

“Thank you. I feel really ease when you say that,” she says.

 

He then planted another kiss on her head.

 

“God, please make the time stays at this moment. I don’t want us to separate. I don’t know what will happen to me if we are not together. I’m begging you God,” Chae Won prayed in her heart while in Joong Ki’s embrace.

...............................................................

 

“Shin Hye looks, Joong Ki’s new girlfriend,” Kang So Ra, Shin Hye’s friend said, half whispering but enough for Chae Won to hear it the moment  she enters the toilet.

 

Chae Won looks at them while flashing a smile to both of them. Even though sometimes she feels jealous with Shin Hye because she still have most part of Joong Ki’s heart but she doesn’t want to have some drama with them She wants her life be as simple and that is why she acts just like normal. Shin Hye looks at Chae Won with a smirk on her face. That makes Chae Won feels a little uncomfortable but still she manages to keep her expression.

 

After Chae Won finish using the toilet, she exit the toilet with a smile because Joong Ki is waiting for her outside. But, her smile slowly disappears when she saw Joong Ki is staring at somewhere, someone that she always envy, Park Shin Hye. He looks at Shin Hye with longing eyes, and that made her heart sank deeper. Chae Won feels like thousand knives are stabbing her heart and all she can do biting her lips hoping that the physical pain will help to cover the pain she feels inside.

........................................................................

 

It was a Friday night, Chae Won stayed alone in her apartment while watching some movies. While she was watching the movie, suddenly someone rang the bell. She looks through the screen and saw Joong Ki standing in front of her door in a drunk state. Therefore, she instantly open the door to let him in.

“Joong Ki, why did you drink so much?” Chae Won asked him after she takes him to sit on the couch.

 

“Annyeong Chae Won,” Joong Ki said while hugging her.

 

“You really drunk right now. I’ll take warm water for you,” she said while standing up to take some water for him.

 

But, Joong Ki pulled her wrist and makes her to sit back again, facing at him. Chae Won doesn’t like to see him at this state and thinking about what makes him to drink this much really makes her worry.

 

“Why did you drink so much, huh?” She asks.

 

“Chae Won. Moon Chae Won. Why do you love me so much?” he asks.

 

“You need to sleep right now.”

 

“Answer me, why? Why do you love me but Shin Hye didn’t love me anymore? Why did she betray me?”

 

Tears slowly flow from her eyes and her chest becomes tightened as time passes. No one can imagine the pain she feels right now. Because she loves him so much, she willing to endure all this pain. Because of her loves, she afraid that she might lose him. She doesn’t want to let him go because she has wait for him all these years.

.............................................................

 

“Moon Chae Won, are you crazy?” Geun Young asked her while pacing back and forth in Chae Won’s apartment.

“Geun Young, please just sit down. I’m having headache looking you walking here and there,” she says to her friend.

 

“Just like that,” Geun Young pointed at Chae Won. “Just like that. Say that to Joong Ki. Stop loving Shin Hye because he is with you right now and if he don’t leave him. I don’t like to see you keep being hurt.”

 

“We know that he will not agree to stop loving her and that also means he will leave me. I don’t want him to leave. You know that I love him so much.”

 

“Chae Won, that is not love. It’s stupid. Keep being hurt. Love does not hurt. Love supposed to give us happiness and where is yours?”

 

“I’m happy and contented when I’m with him. It just there are some times when Shin Hye is in his mind but overall, I’m happy with this relationship. You don’t have to worry. I’ll be fine. There will be times when he loves me fully with his heart. I’m sure of that.”

 

“Chae Won, I don’t know what you are. I don’t know you being innocence or stupid right here,” Geun Yong said while bangs the door of Chae Won’s apartment.

 

Somehow, Chae Won feels a little hurt of what her friend said but she knows that Geun Young acts like that because she cares for Chae Won.

.....................................................................................

 

“Joong Ki, let’s go to the beach tonight. I heard that there are some events being held there,” Chae Won said through the phone.

 

“Beach? You really like beach, right?” he asks.

 

“Yes! Let’s go, huh?”

He giggles through the phone. “Get ready, I’ll take you,” he said.

 

“Yeah! I love you! Muah,” she gives him a kiss through the phone.

 

“I love you too.”

......................................................

 

“Woah!! So many people came,” Chae Won exclaimed gleefully. “Tonight gonna be fun.”

 

“Yeah!” Joong Ki answered her.

 

“Let’s go buy some fireworks.”

 

............................................

 

“Joong Ki, looks! It seems like we are holding a star,” Chae Won said while swinging the firework up and down that she holds.

 

“You look like a child,” Joong Ki said while chuckling at her.

 

“Aren’t I cute?”

 

He laughs.

 

She laughs too. Somehow, she thinks that she also can make him happy.

 

Joong Ki patted at her head and gives her a peck on her head. Chae Won feels very contented, happy, blissful and every happy words can describe her feelings on that time. It was between them on that time. Only them, Moon Chae Won and Song Joong Ki.

 

After having some fun with the event held at the beach, they decided to have some time alone. Therefore, they go and sit a little far from the groups of people and sit on the sand. They were sitting side by side, while Chae Won playing with the sand using her sandals. She looks around, but suddenly her eyes widen when she saw Park Shin Hye is just behind them.

 

Chae Won looks at Joong Ki and it seems like Joong Ki haven’t realized the existence of Shin Hye because he keeps looking at the beach direction. Chae Won may seem a little selfish because she doesn’t want for him to see Shin Hye. She doesn’t want their night to be spoiled.

 

“Let’s go back. I feel a little tired,” she lies.

 

Joong Ki massaged her shoulders a little bit and then stands up from his place. He held his hand to Chae Won for her support to stand up but before she able to take it, suddenly he pulled his hand back. A thumped can be felt in her heart. She knows what has just happened.

 

Chae Won stand up by her own and she looks at Joong Ki who is now looking at Shin Hye’s direction. Pain can be seen in his eyes. Shin Hye with his new boyfriend laughing together and Chae Won knows very well what Joong Ki feels at that time because she feels it too.

 

“Let’s go from here, okay?” Chae Won try to persuade him and hold his hand to take him away but Joong Ki stayed on his place still looking at Shin Hye.

 

“Joong Ki,” Chae Won called but he seems like not hear it.

 

“Song Joong Ki!”

That makes Shin Hye to turn at their direction and she also a little shocked to see Joong Ki and Chae Won there. She was looking at them and right now, Joong Ki also looks at her. Both of them staring each other, meanwhile Chae Won feels like her world has just crushed. Chae Won just stares at them, unable to take her gaze even though that moment slowly killing her from inside.

 

Suddenly, without no alarm, Joong Ki pulled Chae Won into a deep kiss in front Shin Hye. Her eyes become blurry and tears coursed down her face the moment she closes her eyes. The kiss is not romantic, not passionate but filled with jealousy and that fact makes her heart torn into a million pieces.

..............................................................................

 

Since that night, Chae Won has been keeping a distance between her and Joong Ki. She still doesn’t have the enough strength to act like she is okay in front of her. The feelings on that night is still inside her and that is why every time Joong Ki asks him out, she will reject the invitation by giving excuses that mostly a lie.

 

When they meet in a hallway, Chae Won would walk as fast as possible so that she will not bump with Joong Ki. Even in the class, Chae Won would choose a seat far from him even though he has reserved a seat for her.

 

Joong Ki realized the changes in her but he just thinks that maybe she needs some time to be alone. But, somehow, that really effect him and he don’t know how to ask her what is wrong because he also knows that every things starts form that night. He wants to apologize to her but he didn’t have the chance and courage to do so.

...............................................................................

 

Chae Won was sitting on one of the bench at their campus park when suddenly Shin Hye went and sits beside her. Chae Won looks at her suspiciously but she just keeps silence while continue reading the book on her laps.

 

“Chae Won,” Shin Hye called her.

Chae Won turns her head and looks at Shin Hye.

 

“Do you love Joong Ki?” Shin Hye ask while looking at Chae Won intently with her soft eyes.

 

Chae Won taken aback with her sudden question but she just nods to the question.

 

“I still love him,” Shin Hye says.

 

Chae Won widen her eyes with her sudden confession and she can feels like her chest has just tightened, hurting her.

 

“Why are you saying this to me suddenly?” Chae Won asked feeling a little scared with this situation.

 

“Joong Ki too, we both know he still loves me.”

 

“Stop,” her eyes started becomes blurry.

 

“We both still love...”

 

“But you already have someone!!” Chae Won cut her.

 

“We already ended our relationship,” Shin Hye answered her.

 

Chae Won scoffed. She thought to herself that, Shin Hye is really selfish person. How can she leaves someone and then come back with her own pleasure.

 

“I don’t know what you are trying to say here, Shin Hye but I want to tell you I have no intention to leave him to you because you will gonna hurt him again,” Chae Won said and then stand up and leave Shin Hye sitting there.

...........................................................................

 

After few weeks passes from that night, the relationship between Joong Ki and Chae Won come back as usual. They go to dates together, and spending times each other. Joong Ki feels very happy because finally they can be together again and Chae Won also as usual, her happiness is with Joong Ki.

 

“Tomorrow...”

 

“Huh?” Joong Ki asks Chae Won because she didn’t finish her words.

 

“Let’s go out tomorrow.”

 

Joong Ki smiles to her and pats her head.

 

“Of course, we are going out tomorrow. Tomorrow is our 9^th monthsary.”

..............................................

 

“Geun Young, what should I wear? This or this?” Chae Won asked while holding a pink dress and a white dress to her friend.

 

“You look beautiful with any clothes,” Geun Young answered while laying on the bed.

 

“Yah! Help me please, uh?”

 

“Geez! You really know how to persuade people,” Geun Young said with a smile on her lips.

 

“Gomawo, nae chingu! Saranghae!”

 

“Woah! What a happy person you are today.”

 

........................................................................

 

“Where do you want to go?” Joong Ki asks when Chae Won enters the car.

 

“Mmmm... cinema?”

 

He chuckles. “Why do you want to go to the cinema?”

 

“Couples usually do that...” her voice becomes softer as she finishes her sentence.

 

“How can you be so cute?” Joong Ki asked her with a shy smile plastering on his face.

 

“That is why you should take good care of me. If not, my cuteness will attract lot of boys,” she teases him.

 

“Yah! Don’t you dare.”

 

Chae Won giggles and earning a laugh from Joong Ki.

 

After they done a lot of things together, they decided to go to the beach because Chae Won really like the beach. Luckily, the time for the sunset is coming and they decided to wait for it to see the magnificent view.

 

Spending time with Joong Ki today makes Chae Won feels really contented and jubilation written all over their faces.

 

“Looks! The sun starts to get down,” Chae Won exclaimes gleefully.

 

Joong Ki pulls her head and lands it on his shoulder while kissing her head.

 

“It’s beautiful right?” Joong Ki asked.

 

“Hmm.”

 

“On this date, let’s go here next month too and the next month and the next next month until next year the next next year..”

 

“Let just say, we go here this date until forever, okay?”

 

Joong Ki giggles and then planted another kiss on her head. That makes Chae Won smiles from ear to ear.

 

After nearly an hour they stay there suddenly Joong Ki’s phone rang. Chae Won looks at him waiting for him to answer the phone call. When Joong Ki looks at the screen to see who is the caller, his eyes widen and he looks at Chae Won with a guilty face. Chae Won realizes that and suddenly, terror engulfs her. Feeling scared that she might lose him again enveloping herself.

 

“Hello,” Joong Ki answered the phone.

 

“Shin Hye, why are you crying?” he asks through the phone while looking at Chae Won who is now obviously getting stab by each word he said to Shin Hye.

 

How can their day becomes like this? She asks to herself. Why can’t their relationship have an ending of happily ever after? Why must there is people who will disturbed them? Chae Won’s eyes started getting blurry and she seems like she can’t hear anything more. She just looks at Joong Ki but she can’t heard anything from him.

 

Maybe all this time, they are not meant to be, Chae Won tought to herself. All these times, there are always obstacles between them and every time the one who get hurt, the one who always cry is she. Just maybe, he is not the one for her. Just maybe, she should let him go to the person he loves. But, she loves him too much.

 

Chae Won wiped the tears that finally wetting her cheeks.

 

“Joong Ki, go to her. She needs you,” Chae Won said finally.

 

Chae Won feels so devastated to say that. It was like something in her chest is shrinking. Her whole body is shivering not because of the cold but the thought of he leaving her, finally.

 

“Chae Won, you..”

 

“No, Joong Ki. She needs you right now more than I do,” Chae Won cut him.

 

“But, I need you.”

 

“The one who you need is not me but her. All these time, you didn’t love me, you still love her. I know that all along, Joong Ki. But, I try to keep holding on you, desperately wishing that maybe someday that you will love me fully. But, all this enough. I thought that was love, that was my pure love to you but it’s not. It’s my selfishness, stupidness and ignorance. Because I love you too much I hurt myself and you too. So now I release you from my hold. Go to her because your happiness is with her,” Chae Won said and then leave him sitting there because she afraid that if she stay longer than that and looking at his face, she might take back her words.

 

“Chae Won wait! I love you and I want to be with you. Please don’t leave me. I’m sorry all these times. I’m very sorry,” Joong Ki chased her but Chae Won speeds her steps and then rides a taxi with a heavy chest.

 

After that day, they never talk to each other. Joong Ki would try to talk to her but every time he fails. After she left that night, Joong Ki realizes that he loves her all these times and to Shin Hye, it only left regrets. But, he realizes it too late and now he lose the one he loves, Moon Chae Won.

.............................................................

 

One month later.....

 

“Where are you going Chae Won? You still haven’t finish packing yet,” Geun Young says while helping Chae Won to fold her clothes.

 

“I want to go to somewhere before I leave. I’ll be gone only for few hours,” Chae Won answered from the living room.

 

“You better.”

 

“Arasso, nae chingu,” Chae Won giggles.

 

Chae Won decided to go somewhere before she departs tomorrow to the states because she gets a scholarship to further her studies international. Today, it’s the day where she broke with Joong Ki and also the day they make their promise to go to the beach.

 

Even though they don’t have the chance to go together but still Chae Won wants to go there because at least, that what she has promised even though that means going there alone. She might not can go there every month because she will be in another country that is why she wants to go to the beach for the last time before she lefts.

 

It was nearly sun set when she arrives there maybe, about the same time she and Joong Ki reached there last month. Chae Won sit on the sand while playing on it while waiting for the sun to get down. She also doesn’t know why she loves go to the beach but somehow going there makes her feeling peace and calm. As she was watching the panoramic view in front of her, suddenly a person has just come attracting her attention. The person is Song Joong Ki.

 

She just looks at his back because he was sitting on a bench a few metres away in front of Chae Won. He didn’t realize that Chae Won also there. She smiles thanking him from her heart because he gives her the chance to be with him even though it just a few months.

 

After staying there a few minutes looking at his back, she then leaves the beach without saying anything to him. She afraid that if she saw him upfront, the wall she built this past month will crumble just like that and she doesn’t want it to happen.

 

If there is time in the future, they will meet again as two persons, then maybe at that time if Joong ki still waits for her, she will holds on to him again and never let go his hand. When that time comes, when they both become more mature and stronger than this, then Chae Won would come back to him again. She will always waits for that time.

 

Never take someone for granted because we don’t know when will we lose her/him.

Don’t keep looking at the past because the present and future far better than the past.

Sometimes, we will only realize the price of something when we lose it and sometimes the distance will make the love stronger.

 

A/N I'm sorry for making Chae Won so weak in this story and Joong Ki being so bastard. But, I can't help it.. hehehe And I really hope you enjoyed reading this story even though this writing is not good. I'm very sorry about that by the way thank you for reading it. Peace!