Waiting

On rainy days ~

Raindrops are hitting my already wet forehead. I did not even bother to look for an umbrella or put on a hood. Rain should be felt, it’s not meant to run away from.

'It's cold.' At least that’s what passengers, who stare at me, are saying silently.

Oh why am I standing in the rain if I can go under the eaves?

Oh why am I standing in the rain without a jacket?

Oh why am I standing in the middle of the road, unmoving, so everybody has to shoulder past me?

Leave me alone. You do not understand.

If I move, if I go, I'll miss him. I'll miss my last chance.

No, it's not a problem to stand, Yoseob, if I need, I will stand for days.

Just come. Come here whenever.

Just come.

Come on.

You know I'm persistent. You know that everything I've done in my life I did because of my persistence. And you know that I'm not giving up.

And you know that I will not move on.

I, Lee Kikwang, will not move on.

I will not.

Not until you fulfill your promise. When you fulfill it, I'll go. I'll go as if I never existed. I'll leave without a trace.

Just come.

Behold, I give myself to you, all I have and all I do not. I leave it all behind. I'll forget everything ...

Just come.

If I've lived whole my life with you, why do you think that now I can live it on my own?

Why do you think I know how to move on? Ha?

I cannot hear you, Yoseob ...

People around me are too noisy, they do not like me standing on their way.

I'd be happy to move, but I don’t know where, I don’t know ... I have to wait until the rain stops.

Just come. Come here whenever.

No, I don’t mean to rush you. I have all the time in the world to wait. There is nothing more important to do right know. Nothing.

Just come.

If you’re already on your way, do not rush it. The rain is falling really hard, you could hurt yourself. I know how clumsy you are. So pay attention and do not rush. I'm not going anywhere.

Come here whenever.

If you don’t want to come, you don’t have to. This is a prayer, not a command. Who am I to command you? I never even wanted that.

If you don’t want to come, you don’t have to, but I'll wait. I'll wait just in case you change your mind.

But remember, when the rain stops, I will no longer be here.

But do not worry, the next time it rains, I'll show up and wait.

So come on. Come here whenever.

Hey Yang Yoseob!

I feel better. Darkness slowly ate the whole street, so fewer people are passing next to me.

There is less traffic, so I can feel the smell of the trees and flowers better. Nothing smells better than flowers in the rain.

Except you. You smell better.

Ugh… Just come.

I don’t know where you are right now. I don’t know whether you are happy or sad, whether you sing or cry. Do you love someone or just when you see a couple on the street you pass next to them feeling melancholic and thinking about happiness?

I hope you sing, because nobody sings as beautifully as you.

I hope you’re loved, because it's hard to be alone.

I know how hard it is. And even though I'm not the one you love, I'll be happy if you are loved.

But if you think I'm here because I want something from you… Don’t.

I'm just a friend you haven’t seen a long time. Which misses you and wants to hug you so hard.

Just come. Come here whenever.

I don’t know how your hair looks like now. I wish it’s not dyed. Your hair was always the most beautiful when it was natural.

I don’t know if you eat regularly. Before, you were known to skip meals. Now I hope that someone else watches you eat.

So, when you come, we could have dinner.

But don’t starting thinking about some romantic dinner. Do not.

I was thinking of a friendly dinner in a nice family restaurant. We will eat whatever you want. I will pay.

Just come.

I hope you do not drink a lot. I know you used to.

And if you already drink a lot, I hope somebody takes you home.

 Somebody you trust. Somebody who will not use the situation.

That's why when you come, we can have a drink. We can drink as much as you want. I'll take you home. I will pay.

Just come. Come here whenever.

And no, I will not do anything bad while you're unconscious. I'll make sure you sleep on a bed and in the morning I'll make you breakfast.

And if in the morning you don’t want to see me, I'll make breakfast and go before you get up. I might kiss you for goodbye or hug you once or twice.

Just come.

                          *                                                                                                       *                                                                                           *

It’s late. There's no one on the street, Yoseob.

And the rain is slowly fading.

On the rainy days you come and find me.

Torturing me through the night.

Every raindrop on our faces will be separated kiss.

When the rain starts to stop, you will follow me.

And slowly when I disappear… Go home.

But before you go, hide somewhere and wait for the rain to stop completely.

Because I know how clumsy you are…

Just come.

 
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Comments

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zcrystalemerald
#1
Chapter 1: Kiki Oppa!!
takeshi1688 #2
It's so sad... It really makes me wanna cry since... the very beginning... but I love It too, I wanted to read this kind of pasionated yet not insane type of love with my favorite couple and lovely boys~
JaeJaeLovesPocky
#3
Chapter 1: Omg~ don't make me cry, kiki!! ;A; *sobs* just go, yoseob, just go with kiki~! *throwing kleenex* it's so beautifully sad, your writing is great! keep writing, please! <3