early sunsets over monroeville

Cool air rushes through my hair, sends shivers down my spine, and breathes ice through my lungs.

I inhale until my chest feels ready to burst.

Hold it.

Dangle a foot over the edge.

My shoe slides off and I watch as it falls, landing on the sidewalk far, far below me with an empty thump. Behind me, on the other side of this building, I can hear the city. People are yelling, chatting, laughing – living. Cars honk, lights change, and I exhale shakily.

My breath clouds around me, temporarily blocking the view and for a moment it feels as if I’m suspended in air, just swinging with the clouds in the sky as the sun bathes over us.

But reality comes crashing back onto me with a weight that pushes the last bits of air from my lungs with a sob.

My other shoe lands beside the first and the rough stone beneath my toes draws blood as I bring both feet together on the edge.

I can feel his eyes on me as I stretch my arms out around me. For once, I’m numb to the rush that normally comes from his attention.

I can hear the bang of metal on metal echo out over the sounds of Seoul seconds before I hear him.

“Soojung.”

He breathes my name like a prayer, and maybe for him it is; a prayer that I won’t really go through with this.

“Ignore him, Krystal.”

Even now, when nothing else can break through the haze that’s been seeping into my mind for the past year, the difference between the two of them strikes me.

They’re best friends, brothers, two halves of a whole, but one is always caught in the past and one can never have his future and it’s my fault for ruining them both.

That’s why I have to do it.

And I do.

I turn back for a half a second and my eyes meet Sehun’s. His eyes are red and swimming with tears, and I only hope Kai will be kind enough to wipe them for him when I’m gone.

I smile back at him as a tear traces my cheek.

And then I step forward.

The sun sinks with me as we both set, the only difference being that the sun will rise again.