The Way Back 

Short Story 

1.3k

Ring. Ring. Ring.

All was still in the city that never slept. Cars ceased to whizz by, the pitter-pattering of harried footfalls all but died away.

“Hello?”

The moon was out. The stars were visible. A majestic blanket of twinkling navy filled the infinite expanse of the heavens.

“Hey! How are you?”

Suzy paced about the rectangular balcony, her long wavy locks swayed beguilingly about her slender frame, teasing the wind to play with them. She her lips and looked around. The tall, cold metal bars around the perimeter voraciously snatched the heat from her sweaty palms. Her pale skin a jaundice yellow stretched tight over gaunt fingers.

“I’m sorry I can’t get to the phone right now. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as—”

Wisps of clouds spread themselves farther apart to cast an ephemeral glow about her roundish-almond eyes. The darkness slithered into the windows of her soul and lurked at bay. She gave the device upon her palm one last chance before she chucked it between the railings to plummet down two stories.

Ring. Ring. R—.

“Suzy?”

“H-hey,” she stammered. She halted just before the sliding door and pivoted back to gaze out at the sleepy city of New York, New York.

“Is something wrong Suze? What time is it there? Isn’t it 3 a.m.?” the voice speculated. A slight rustling made its way through the phone followed by a loud thump, a string of curses, a breathless apology, and Suzy briefly wonders if she caught him at a bad time.

“No, no, silly. I just missed you,” she assured. Her colleagues at JYP Fashion were bent on making her life a living hell, jealous of the blunt favoritism displayed by their CEO—her supposed close friend, Victoria, the perpetrator. The smell of iron aded her sense of smell as she pushed stray wisps of hair from her face. Her tongue darted out to moisten her chapped lips. “Maybe I should call you back later, Jongin,” she whispered.

“No!” Jongin asserted rather too quickly. “No. Really, it’s fine Suze. I’m not too busy.” She knew he was lying. He was swamped with workload; folders stacked a foot high in every available space, his teammates sprawled all over the place as they pored over documents. Jongin was a Korean law investigator, the “Golden Rookie” they called him, and his team’s services were always in demand.

“Why is your voice so low? You have to speak a little louder since I can’t hear you properly.” He always shone in the brightest of lights; a permanent spotlight was always focused on him. If it was her she would've caved under all the pressure, but Jongin-- Jongin Kim was someone to be envied. He knew how to work the crowd and have them willingly at his mercy. He was amazing.

“What are you doing, Jongin?” The breeze carried bits of her sentence but the latter didn’t seem to notice as he hummed in response. Her tongue darted out every now and then to the beats of silence that followed.

“I’m just in the archives. When are you coming for a visit, Suze? Take a break; it’s been almost a year and a half. I already propped up the Christmas tree. It just needs decorating. Jebal? Please?” There was desperate lilt embedded in his voice and it made her feel guilty. Their romantic relationship began in their senior year of high school but they had been attached to the hip since birth. Their Christmases were spent with each other’s families, but the holiday was far from jolly this year.

“I don’t know yet. My coworkers aren’t exactly the sentimental type. I swear they’re all conspiring to prevent me from going home. What do you thi—” Suzy was interrupted by a growl of exasperation, and Suzy can imagine frown lines decorating his forehead.

“I found them, Jongin!” another voice interjected. Suzy smiled, she knew that voice.

“Great. Okay. Thanks, Chen. Suze? You still there?” Jongin was apologetic but his words were rushed. It was time to say good bye, at least for the time being.

“Busy day today, huh?” Suzy’s lips were pressed thinly against the December chill. She knew she had to be the first to end the call because Jongin may be a god at multitasking, but he could only do so much. A shudder shook her core. Her flimsy white gown was no battle suit against the raging cold. She her lips once more and made up her mind. “I’ll call you back. Good luck with those papers! Please take care. Always.”

“You make it sound like I’m going to die or something," he chided. "Suze, I’ll call you alright? I miss you so much. I miss you right now, I missed you yesterday, and I’ll miss you tomorrow.”

“Oh my god!” She rolled her eyes at the laughing moon; the sharp ends mirrored the corners of her upturned lips.

There he was: the childish Jongin.

“I’m drowning in cheese, Jongin. Restrain yourself.” It took all her willpower to keep herself from begging him to take her back, from divulging how much she hated it in the cold, cold city.

“Bye Suzy. Sarang—”

Beep.

The call ended and Suzy stared at the stars suspended in air before she sauntered back into the frigid room. Just as she was about to sidle inside the measly warmth of her comforter, her phone rang again.

She answered.

“I’m sorry; I think the bad signal in this damned basement dropped our call. I just wanted to say saranghaeyo, Suzy. I love you. And I’m sorry I hadn’t been able to contact you.”

“Oh, Jongin," she sighed, "It’s alright. I love you too."

"Good night Suzy. Sweet dreams."

She set the phone down just as the door creaked opened. A handsome man with perfectly combed hair peeped in with a smile.

It was blinding.

It was exhilarating.

It was perfect.

He was perfect.

"Good morning, Suzy!"

"Good morning, Kris," she sing-songed, her tongue ran quickly along her lips before she settled for a bright smile.

"This is a surprise! You're never up before 10 a.m., did you sleep well?" Suzy glanced at the clock on her bedside table and widened her eyes at the red 8 figure.

"I received a phone call," she replied. He nodded, as he quickly tapped on his cellphone. He was such a workaholic, Suzy thought. What a great man. There was a pregnant pause before she felt the need to clarify. "Wrong number." Kris watched Suzy settle in and drew the blinds close. He checked her contact log, his knuckles white as he reluctantly set it back down.

***

"Why the long face, Wu?" asked Victoria Song when he stumbled inside the lounge room. She arched her perfectly groomed eyebrows at the Chinese man's weary disposition. His steps were short and uneven, his shoulders were slumped. Her five feet five inches seemed to tower over his depleted six feet three.

"She was on the phone again," he said, a calloused hand supported his forehead. "She was talking to Jongin again, Song." Victoria served him a cup of coffee, 4 South's special blend.

"It doesn't matter if you've been with her for five years, Wu. Look where I stand, she still hates me."

"It's so difficult, Vic, and it hurts whenever she smiles at me."

"Are there any changes with her TD?" She sat down across from him, ID on the table. His eyes ran over the familiar acronym.

NYSPI.

New York State Psychiatric Institute.

"Less but still pronounced. The jaw movements and excessive blinking are minimal since the last administration of clozapine, but she's still her lips."

"And Jongin?"

"Still a nonexistent number, Vic," he affirmed with a slam of his phone. "She still refuses to acknowledge the damn truth."

"Be professional," stated Victoria firmly.

The finality of her words left him to mull in silence. She was right; he shouldn't be attached to his patient. He has to be professional about her case. Suzy was a disassociated schizophrenic, frozen in time and reliving a fantasy. It was his job to help her find the way back to reality.

A reality in which Kim Jongin was a dead man and Bae Suzy was the murderer. 

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List of Terms/ Names

Tardive Dyskinesia aka TD: a mostly irreversible neurological disorder of involuntary movements caused by long-term use of antipsychotic or neuroleptic drugs.

Clozapine: An antipsychotic drug used as a sedative and in the treatment of schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia: Any of a group of psychotic disorders usually characterized by withdrawal from reality, illogical patterns ofthinking, delusions, and hallucinations, and accompanied in varying degrees by other emotional, behavioral,or intellectual disturbances. 

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com

Disassociative disorders aka DD: Someone with a dissociative disorder escapes reality in ways that are involuntary and unhealthy. The person with a dissociative disorder experiences a disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions and identity.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dissociative-disorders/basics/definition/con-20031012

4 South, New York State Psychiatry Institute (NYSPI): The 4 South inpatient unit is part of the Washington Heights Community Service where treatment is provided for a variety of psychiatric illness, with a majority of people receiving treatment for a psychotic disorder (e.g., Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective Disorder) or a major affective disorder (e.g., Bipolar Disorder or Major Depression)

http://nyspi.org/nyspi/patients-and-families/4-south