A few years ago, I fell in love with a guy.

His brown eyes, his long legs, that mole above his lips, his small face, his gentle personality, all of it I loved to bits. 

His name was Jung Yunho.

 

Everything was going fine.

We called, text messaged, went on dates, the usual things boyfriend and girlfriends do.

 

However, it wasn’t long until the messages got shorter, the calls became rare and the dates happened once in a blue moon.

 

“We got rehearsal today.”

“We have an interview on that day.”

“That time? We have a TV appearance.”

 

 Yunho started to become busier as each day dragged on.

 

“You know girl, if it ain’t working, dump him. There’s no point reserving yourself for someone who doesn’t even have time for you.” Said my friend as we sat on the railings in the empty streets.

 

“It’s not that he doesn’t have time for me. He’s just… busy.” I sighed grabbing a bottle of beer from the case.

 

“So tell me, during the days you were ‘happily dating’ was he open about stuff… You know did he share secrets with you…” she opened up her bottle of beer.

“Well… he did…” she looked at me “not.” I sighed.

“What is it with you? I thought you’re a dating expert? Weren’t you able to see that there was something in between you two?” 

“Seeing him, holding his hand, being wrapped in his arms, I just forgot those rules in dating. I was happy.” I took a sip of my drink.

“honey, you weren’t happy, you were blinded.” She stated.

“I was in love.”

“Have you kissed yet?” she bluntly asked.

I looked down. 

“You see, you’ve been dating for weeks and you’re yet to kiss!”

I finished up my beer and grabbed another bottle.

“Why do we have to kiss? That’s not necessary.” 

“Why? Honey if he never wanted to kiss you, he doesn’t want you…” 

“He did kiss me.”

“Where? The cheek, the forehead? That’s cute.”

I consumed my beer quickly then grabbed another one. 

She held my arm, stopping me from opening the bottle.

“Why are you drinking so much? Just because the beer’s free doesn’t mean you should gobble it all up in one night.”

I pulled away from her without a word.

 

Her phone rang and she got into a conversation.

After hanging up, she faced me. “I have to go. Don’t drink anymore.”

A car stopped in front of us, “hurry up!” the driver called.

“give that case back inside the store. Tell ahjussi to just keep it for next time.” She bid as she sat on the passenger’s seat.

I just nodded.

 

As soon as the car was out of sight. I opened another bottle.

 

Was she right about something being between me and Yunho?

Maybe we’re really falling out?

What if he’s just too nice to break up with me?

 

As thoughts flowed, so did the beer. I was up to the last bottle. I’ve had about 5 bottles already and I was feeling a bit too dizzy.

 

“Hyo Min-sshi! You finished everything?” asked the ahjussi who owned the store behind me.

I kicked the case to him, “thank you ahjussi”

He pushed the case inside then locked up the store, “you’re drunk already, go home.”

I began to wobble my way through the street but he stopped me.

“Call someone to pick you up.” He lightly pushed me down to lean on the railing.

I flipped my phone open and just called the last person in my call history.

“I’m drunk, pick me up”

 

A few minutes after ahjussi left, came the guy I called, my so called boyfriend.

 

“What’s gotten into you? You don’t usually get drunk.” Yunho placed his hands on my shoulders.

I shrugged my shoulders then looked at him, “ you kiss me here.” It was probably the alcohol talking but I couldn’t care less.

 

He hesitated and I felt rejected. Frustration climbed to my head and emitted words as if from a drama, “See? This is you… this is the wall between us that neither you nor I can do anything about.” 

I felt cloth cover my head then his lips was on mine.

 

My eyes shot wide open.

He drew back then looked at me.

Tears began to flow down my cheeks, I didn’t even know why.