..•.:*´¨`*:.•.¸¸.•´¯`•.○.•´¯`•.¸¸.•..:*´¨`*:.•..

Sungmin stood in front of the kitchen door, unable to decide if he could live with all the doubts that rose in him or if he could withstand the whole truth. The past night had been the worst he had ever had since he started to live in that house. The past night Sungmin could do nothing but toss and turn around in bed, no position made him comfortable, his mind was in complete mayhem. Every time he closed his eyes, he would see that damn statue staring back at him. Whenever his mental exhaustion got the better of him he would wake up from weird dreams, dreams in which Youngwoon was cooking for, smiling at, and playing around with a Sungmin that was not him. Not to mention the recurring dream of their kiss, that was definitely the worst of them all because who exactly was Youngwoon kissing?

He couldn’t accept that the one Youngwoon loved so dearly looked exactly like him, was named exactly like him. Sungmin closed his hands into fists and decided, he couldn’t live with those doubts, he couldn’t live with that heavy heart and bitter tongue. He just couldn’t live with his assumptions. He had to know everything, no matter how much it could change his life.

With determination, he opened the door and stepped in. Youngwoon was by the stove, he had been cooking, but he was no longer. Instead he was standing there, he had been looking at the door waiting for Sungmin to decide what to do. They looked at each other for a moment.

"You were not going to tell me?" Sungmin questioned with a cold tone.

"What good it would do to you?" Youngwoon retorted with a soft, pained tone. Right after his words Youngwoon averted his eyes to the floor. "Why would it matter that he looks like you? That he had the same name? It wouldn’t change anything in your life." The werewolf added.

He was supposed to have a point there, but the problem was that it mattered. Ever since that first night, it had mattered to Youngwoon and Sungmin needed to know how much it actually mattered.

"Were you trying to replace him with me?" Sungmin asked with his tone turning bitter. "This answer matters to me." He added.

Youngwoon looked up at him with a frown.

"Of course I wasn’t. People can’t be replaced." He replied, but Sungmin couldn’t shake off the feeling that Youngwoon was lying.

"Then why did you let me stay? Why do you always look at me with those sad longing eyes?!" Sungmin challenged, his tone rising, but not enough to be considered a shout.

Sungmin felt betrayed by the blush that crept up Youngwoon’s face. There was another moment of silence between them.

"For a moment I had hoped… for a moment… at seeing your face I hoped you would recognize me, you would feel we had met before… for a moment I hoped my love had come back to me. I let you stay because I foolishly hoped I would be loved one more time." Youngwoon replied with a soft apologetic voice.

"I am not him." Sungmin seethed. "That rose was for him? This immobilizer was for him? You were expecting me to be him so you could continue your love story?" Sungmin added, his last question ending in a snort, but he stopped the following questions that were about to slip past his mouth because he saw a tear running through Youngwoon’s handsome features. He was in pain. Sungmin was hurting him, because of that he just couldn’t continue speaking.

"The rose was for you. The immobilizer was for you. When you said your name that night, your tone, the way your heart was racing, I knew I had been delusional right that night. I knew it was impossible. I let you stay after that so I could force myself to accept he would never be back. I won’t deny. Every time you smile at me, I would wish it was him, every time you would sit in front of me and eat my cooking, I would wish I could have lived like this with him. I still wish I had died instead of him." Youngwoon said, he turned around so Sungmin wouldn’t see his tears. Even after centuries, his vivid memories still made him cry.

Sungmin couldn’t understand why his heart felt like it was being ripped inside his chest. Every sentence seemed to cut through him like a knife. That was one of the things he needed to know.

"How exactly did he die? Was it you or was it the hunters?" Sungmin questioned and he could perfectly see how Youngwoon stiffened, how the werewolf started to shiver.

"You read his diaries?" Youngwoon questioned without turning back. The words left his mouth almost in a whisper.

Sungmin’s reply was to repeat his question with a stern tone. Youngwoon lowered his head and held on to the stove counter tightly.

"When I smelled the hunters I thought he was in danger. I rushed to him, but when I saw him smiling at one of them, when I saw him act so friendly towards my sworn enemies, I doubted his sincerity towards me, after all who would love a monster? I attacked because I felt betrayed. I was immature not only because I was still a newborn werewolf, I didn’t have experience enough to fight and win against three hunters. I was completely blinded by my resentment over being stripped of everything I loved. One of them stabbed me with a silver dagger, I would rather die than live knowing he had betrayed me, I had been in frenzy, I had not noticed how one of the hunters was holding him back, I had not heard him begging them to stop hurting me. I saw the dagger coming, but a second later I smelt his blood, he fell in my arms…" Youngwoon replied, stopping mid sentence for his voice was fading with the effort he was trying to stop crying.

"He took the stab in your place?" Sungmin mumbled with a smaller voice. The image of the different scar flooded Sungmin's mind. Youngwoon's mistake was engraved on his body. A permanent reminder that that Sungmin died to protect Youngwoon. That Sungmin died to protect the one he loved. How could Youngwoon live with that guilt for four hundred years?

"If you loved each other so much, why didn't you follow him? Why didn’t you let them kill you?" Sungmin asked next. He was aware that his question was mean, but he had to do it, he had to know what could be so strong to keep Youngwoon alive in those circumstances.

"He told me not to follow him… he told me he would love me for eternity… if reincarnation was true, then he would be back to love me like I should be loved… because he told me to wait, I’ve waited… I lived this cursed existence of mine waiting for something that will never be true." Youngwoon replied expecting Sungmin to leave any moment after that. But there was only silence, Sungmin’s heart was beating erratically, but it meant nothing but the fact that he was probably enraged.

"I am not him…" Sungmin mumbled. Youngwoon turned around confused with the fact that Sungmin had said that again, as he looked at the human he saw that Sungmin was looking at the floor with wide eyes and a confused expression.

Moments later Sungmin looked up and met Youngwoon’s eyes. Somehow Sungmin was startled by the fact that he was glad the one dying was the other Sungmin, because at that very moment he understood he was actually thankful he had met Youngwoon.

"I am not his reincarnation." He added, acknowledging that whilst living with Youngwoon the past few weeks, he had slowly fallen for the werewolf. He was feeling ill because he didn’t want to think that what he felt was not his own feelings, but someone else’s. More importantly, he wanted Youngwoon to see him, not the other Sungmin. He wanted Youngwoon to love him, not the other Sungmin. That realization crashed over Sungmin like a huge tide of cold water. "You know reincarnation is bull. You know I am not him, right?" the human added.

Youngwoon kept frowning at the younger male, he couldn’t understand why Sungmin was so adamant with those statements, he couldn’t understand why it mattered so much.

"Even if you were his reincarnation, even if it’s his soul inside you, you are not him. Who you are, who he was, I can see clearly, I can distinguish. You are you and you will never be him to me." The werewolf replied.

For a moment Sungmin didn’t know if those words were meant to soothe him or increase his agony. Sungmin felt strangely moved by Youngwoon's words, he felt a strange mix of butterflies in his stomach and a deep ache in his heart. But he was sure of what he wanted to do. It was already high time for Youngwoon to move on. Conscious of what he had chosen, Sungmin took a step ahead, he pulled a chair out and sat down.

Youngwoon stared at him even more confused. Seeing that, Sungmin raised his hand showing the immobilizer he was still using. That was still his excuse to stay, his wrist was no longer hurting, he knew he couldn’t keep up that facade for much longer, but he would keep it up until he figured another reason to stay.

"Until this heals off completely you are supposed to take care of me, remember?" he shot in a small challenge.

Youngwoon once again blushed.

Sungmin felt slightly confused, his heart did skip a beat as Youngwoon quickly turned around and went back to prepare breakfast. Moments later, he was setting up only one portion of food up the table. Sungmin looked at the food and then raised a questioning eyebrow at Youngwoon.

"I already ate." Youngwoon said lamely, but that was such a plain lie Sungmin felt a bit angry and a bit disappointed.

"You were not expecting me to have breakfast with you." Sungmin stated, his tone sad and slightly apologetic.

"You didn’t come down for dinner yesterday." Youngwoon defended himself with an equally sad tone.

Sungmin lowered his head as he fixed his eyes on the breakfast.

"I had a lot on my mind." Sungmin mumbled, but then he stood up.

Youngwoon stood up reflexively, afraid of what would come next, he couldn’t predict what Sungmin would do, he couldn’t understand what went through his mind. But then he felt somehow relieved as Sungmin moved to the fridge and started to pick up food to cook.

"Eating alone is as boring as cooking alone." Sungmin raised his hurt hand again before he added. "You made my meal, and I owe you an apology. So today I’ll cook for you. Be my hand." He ordered and that had made Youngwoon smile.

For a few minutes Sungmin did his best to cook without dropping his act. He felt soothed at how Youngwoon was moving around him. It felt like that was the first of many more intimate moments between them and the thought made Sungmin happy. Later they sat facing each other, eating what the other had cooked.

After breakfast Sungmin offered to help clean up the dishes.

"Did he know how to cook?" while they were at it, Sungmin couldn’t stop himself from asking.

Youngwoon was once again a bit confused with Sungmin’s sudden interest in the other Sungmin, but his reply was almost immediate.

"Of course not. Men, especially of his social status, didn’t cook back then." He replied, but his tone had sounded as if the question had been an offense towards the deceased Sungmin.

Sungmin grinned at the reply. He was satisfied to know there was a difference between them even if it was something so insignificant.

"You owe me a movie." And after saying that Sungmin refused to allow Youngwoon into the garden before they watched a few movies together.

Youngwoon couldn’t really understand why Sungmin was acting like that, but he was glad to know the younger wouldn’t be leaving any time soon.

..•.:*´¨`*:.•.¸¸.•´¯`•.○.•´¯`•.¸¸.•..:*´¨`*:.•..

Sungmin felt warm, relaxed. He hadn’t felt safe like that in a long while, but there was something strange, his mind was trying to reconnect to reality. He remembered that after breakfast he had gotten Youngwoon to go watch a movie with him, but because he had spent a horrible night, he was sure he had fallen asleep in the middle of the movie. That was a really awful thing to do, considering he was the one forcing the movie on Youngwoon.

There was also something strange in the position he was in. He had been sitting on the floor beside Youngwoon, so how come he was laying down cuddled against something warm, tightly holding onto some kind of fabric? Slowly Sungmin opened his eyes. He was met with a toned neck. Sungmin blinked confused as he tried to look around without moving much.

He was laying on the floor, his head had been resting on Youngwoon’s arm, the werewolf was loosely holding him, the thing Sungmin was tightly holding to was actually Youngwoon’s shirt.

Youngwoon’s breathing was even, but his heartbeat was accelerated, as if he had ran a marathon; he was also warm as if he had a light fever. Sungmin dared shifted himself a little to be able to look at the werewolf in the face. He was graced with the view of the older male peacefully sleeping. Sungmin couldn’t hold back a smile at realizing how close they were. Carefully, he went back to the position he was in when he woke up. He closed his eyes and wished he could enjoy that moment some more. Youngwoon was holding him. Sungmin was smiling, but then he remembered the statue, he remembered their talk that morning and his smile vanished. Was Youngwoon really holding him? Or was he allowing himself to be delusional while Sungmin was out of it and couldn’t protest. The doubt made Sungmin frown, dismayed.

Minutes later, Youngwoon moved. Sungmin pretended to still be asleep because he wanted to know what the werewolf would do, would he simply go away?

Youngwoon carefully detached themselves, putting Sungmin into a comfortable position on the floor. The werewolf looked at the human with a small smile. Moments later though, the werewolf picked the human up effortlessly and carried Sungmin somewhere. Paying attention to the turns, Sungmin knew he was brought back into his lent bedroom. Youngwoon put him in bed and covered him with a thin bed sheet.

Sungmin snuggled making himself more comfortable to pass the impression that he was really deep asleep. Moments later the bed dipped slightly and Sungmin felt fingers caressing his cheek and hair.

At that moment Youngwoon felt slightly overwhelmed by his own feelings. The outer appearance was the same, the feel of their souls was the same, but they were completely different people. Their personalities, their aura, their way of facing life were completely different. The Sungmin he had fallen in love with was naïve, an adventurer by heart, someone that had a trusting heart. Youngwoon had never seen an evil spirit approach his young master to feed on negative feelings, he was mostly hunted by how pure his soul was, mostly surrounded by good spirits. Youngwoon could only think of the Sungmin of this day and age as some sort of counterpart, an opposite. They had their common grounds though, they were not scared of Youngwoon, they both could fill Youngwoon's life with colors. Even though his young master didn't come back as Youngwoon expected, Sungmin was rescuing Youngwoon from the darkness of his memories. Youngwoon could feel his cold soul getting warmer once again. He found himself fearful of losing this Sungmin as well.

"Thank you for staying". Youngwoon mumbled before he stood up and left the room.

For an agonizing moment, Sungmin just kept on listening to the sounds of Youngwoon walking away. Hoping the werewolf could not tell that he had been awake because at those words his heart skipped a beat. Youngwoon wanted him to stay because of him or because of the other Sungmin? He didn’t know why he kept torturing himself with those kind of questions.

..•.:*´¨`*:.•.¸¸.•´¯`•.○.•´¯`•.¸¸.•..:*´¨`*:.•..