"I really like you." Luhan looked up from Sehun's work and found the younger staring at him. "You make me feel safe. You make the emptiness in here," he pointed to his heart, "feel not-so-empty." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Luhan asked. 

"You make me feel protected." Sehun looked away and sighed. "But you're probably going to be like Jongin. You're going to leave me." 

"Hey, let's not talk about this right now." Luhan tapped his finger on Sehun's arm. "We can talk about that later." 

"When is later going to be?" Sehun asked. "Never?" 

"Later does not mean never."

"It does in my dictionary." 

Luhan used his fingers to push the corners of Sehun's mouth up. "That dictionary's about to be destroyed then." 

"Can you hug me?" Sehun fiddled with his thumbs as he gave Luhan a pleading look. "Please? I really need it." 

Luhan dropped his pencil and gathered Sehun in his arms. Sehun put his head on Luhan's shoulder and he felt a hand rub his back. "If you need a hug, just tell me. I'll be here for hugs." Sehun nodded and let out a contented sigh. He felt Luhan's heart beat in his chest and he let that lull him into a sense of comfort. "Don't hide anything from me anymore alright?" 

Sehun hummed in reply and he felt Luhan squeeze his arms a tad tighter. "Will you stay here with me?" It had just been a year since Luhan moved in, but Sehun found that Luhan was like the brother he wished he had. The best friend he once had. The lover he never had. 

"I'll stay until you kick me out," Luhan replied. He patted Sehun's back, knowing that Sehun was the type that needed reassurance. "I'll stay with you even if you do kick me out." 

"I won't. Never, ever," Sehun mumbled. He buried his head in the crook of Luhan's neck. "Can you sleep with me tonight? Like before?" Sehun felt like he was treading thin ice, but he wanted to know. He needed to know if Luhan loved him the way he loved Luhan. 

"Sure. Whatever you want." 

It was lacking. And it made Sehun hurt even more, but he hid it. "And can you sing for me?" he asked. 

Luhan hesitated, and his throat constricted. Luhan didn't even remember the last time a musical note left his mouth. His lungs made it too hard to carry a tune. "I'll try," he finally said. 

Sehun's heart fluttered. Maybe Luhan did care. He knew about Luhan's condition, he knew that Luhan had stopped singing a long time ago. But Luhan was willing to sing for him, just because he asked. The butterflies flew down to his stomach and stayed there, the feeling made Sehun feel tingly inside, and he loved it.

When Sehun finally left Luhan's room, Luhan locked the door and let the feeling of air leaving his lungs take over. He let out stifled coughs, wiping blood from his lips away and flushing the tissues down the toilet. Sehun didn't have to know he was dying. Sehun didn't have to know he had one month left. 

They were a tangle of limbs, arms across chests and legs woven together. Sehun put his head where Luhan's neck was. He had stopped going to visit Jongin's grave, but still remembered the day. Today was the day. 

He blocked everything out. It was just him and Luhan. He felt Luhan brush his finger against the skin of his hip and he let out a shaky breath. 

"Don't think about him," Luhan said. "Just think about us. Think about me." Luhan watched at Sehun's eyes shut tight, his expression almost a grimace. "Don't make that face. Just relax." Luhan hovered above Sehun's body and he ghosted his lips above Sehun's. Warm puffs of air on his face, the minty smell of Luhan's toothpaste and the smell of aftershave. Sehun fell into an abyss, filled only with things Luhan related. Everything else was pushed away. Jongin, his parents, the lonely feeling, all pushed away. 

Only Luhan could make him feel like this. Only Luhan made him feel comfortable. Sehun felt Luhan's lips press against his, soft and pleasant. It felt perfect. Luhan's hands traveled everywhere, exploring. 

Sehun never felt better in his life; Luhan was all he needed. The only thing that pained him was knowing that Luhan was going to leave. He didn't know when, but just knowing, made everything a hundred times worse. 

Sehun woke up before Luhan the next morning. He was curled up into a ball, his head pressed against Luhan's chest. Luhan's arms were around him, holding him in an embrace. 

"Sehun?" Luhan's voice asked, laden with sleep. "You're up already?" 

"There's a first time for everything," Sehun replied, his voice hoarse. Sehun felt Luhan kiss his head and he closed his eyes. He loved the feeling of being loved, the feeling of being someone's center of attention, the feeling of being someone's reason for waking up. Luhan provided all of these things

Luhan made him feel loved, Luhan made Sehun his center of attention, Sehun was the reason he woke up in the morning. "Last night was beautiful," Luhan said. Luhan ran his fingers through Sehun's hair. "You're beautiful." 

"Even if I'm filled with cracks and holes that need to be fixed?" Sehun asked. 

"I'm fixing the cracks and filling the holes up. You won't be broken anymore." 

Sehun bit his lip, and the empty feeling flooded his stomach, making his body shiver from head to toe. 

"What happened? Sehun, are you okay?" 

Sehun could barely hear Luhan's words. The only thing he could hear, loud and clear, was the pounding of his heart. "What about when you leave?" he asked. The moment the words spilled from his lips, he covered his ears with his hands. Tears threatened to spill over, the feeling of being left alone overcame him. "I don't want you to leave. Everyone leaves me. I don't want to be alone." 

Luhan's fingers wiped Sehun's tears away and pulled his hands away from his head. "You'll never be alone."

"But you're going to leave me. I know it," Sehun cried. He held his hands close to his chest and sobbed. His legs curled up even more and he distanced himself away from Luhan. 

Luhan forced his hands away from his chest and pulled him close. Sehun cried into Luhan's neck and he held onto Luhan's arm as if he were disappearing. 

"I'll always be with you," Luhan said, his voice choked. "I might not always be here physically, but I'll always be with you." Luhan pressed a hand to Sehun's chest. "In here. We're always going to be here. Your parents, Jongin, me. We'll always be with you." 

The words are meant to reassure, but Sehun only cried harder. Luhan's words only reminded him of those he lost. Of those he will lose.