Homebound

Jessica had always been good at hiding, running away and discovering places with a nice view that no one else but her could find. That’s why since they were twelve up until now, it was still bugging Jessica how Yuri had always managed to find her.

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Jessica had always been good at hiding.

At seven, she learned that if she would curl herself up in the closet, cover her ears, and shut hard enough, her father wouldn’t know she was there. In middle school, no one knew her stepfather was hurting her for Jessica hid bruises with make-up so well. In high school, her foster parents had never found out that she smokes, nor did they discover that small self-made compartment in her wardrobe filled with stolen goods. She had been called names behind her back and no one knew it affected her for she had hidden her emotions so well. Or maybe, she thought so.

Because, with whatever sorcery Yuri did, she always seemed to see through her.

She was always bugging her. Bringing foods Jessica didn’t like (which she would eat anyway) before noisily plopping beside her like they’re friends (a part of Jessica hoped they were). She never asked why Jessica did what she did (Jessica didn’t know the reason too). Even if Jessica gave her signals to, she never pried. She was always there for her and she didn’t stop until Jessica voluntarily stopped trying to hide. She knew what Jessica needed the most and selflessly gave her just that. That’s how she earned Jessica’s trust and became her best friend (until she became the only thing that Jessica needed).

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Jessica had always been good at running away.

She probably ran away from home at least a hundred times. Even with only a few won in her wallet, she would take a few clothes with her, grab as many goods as she could from her hidden stash along with her torn and washed-out pink rabbit plushy (she wouldn’t dare leave her poor Mimi behind), shove them all in her bag and she’s ready to go.

The concept of having a home had always been strange to her. A home must be warm and welcoming and it should make a person feel a little bit more complete. A house with two adults alone didn’t give the word home justice. That was why seeing all those three in just one person scared the hell out of Jessica.

Yuri’s smile shouldn’t make her knees weak nor should it make butterflies spurt in her stomach. Whenever Yuri greeted her with open arms, it should never be this inviting and her embrace should never make Jessica feel so safe.

Yuri taking her hand and intertwining it with hers should never make her cheeks blush and fill her with warmth nor should it cloud her mind with thoughts of how much they fit together.

And that one time, she ran away again. When she was sitting on the swing of a kindergarten’s deserted playground, Yuri should have never come and become the first person who had ever found her.

The moment Jessica looked up, she saw a panting Yuri already reaching out that hand she knew so well, saying, “Come back home, Sica-yah.” That shouldn’t have made Jessica throw all self-restraint, pulled Yuri in, and kissed her like she ing meant the world to her. She felt Yuri’s body relax seconds into their kiss and soon those strong arms had slowly wrapped around her, pulling her by the waist. Fingers grazed teasingly at the back of her neck, pulling her in. As Yuri started kissing her back with fervor, the sensation of those soft lips imprinted on Jessica’s mind saying, “Mine! Mine! Mine!” and she felt like she finally found the final piece of her puzzle.

That scared her.

Reality had never felt this good before. What if this wasn’t true?

So Jessica did what she does the best. She pushed Yuri back and ran away, unknowingly leaving her heart behind.

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Jessica had always been good at discovering places with a nice view that no one else but her could find.     

Being a habitual runaway, she had found a lot of places to hide, to chill, or simply to just think and try to find herself again. One of the most favorite places she found was the abandoned cabin by the lakeside, where her lullaby was the sound of cicadas and the stars watched her sleep from a hole the chimney used to be.

Jessica rolled on her makeshift bed, resting her right arm just above her eyes. She sighed at the sight of the darkening sky. This cabin was never the best option when it’s raining. She better find another shelter now.

‘Come back home, Sica-yah.’

She was in the middle of pushing herself up when Yuri’s voice came out of nowhere. She shook her head and pressed her temple, moving her fingers in circles. Yuri constantly dropping in her mind was not helping her headache at all.

She got up and slung her backpack onto her shoulder. Her hand was already at the door when the sudden flash of lightning outside had her shrieking. She ducked in place. Thunder followed right after, not missing a beat, and soon enough, loud pitter patters of the rain echoed in the cabin. Lightning struck, thunder clapped, yet the thudding of her own heart was all she could hear.

This kind of scene had always brought unwanted memories back.  

With eyes tightly shut, her hands on both ears, she buried her face on her lap. Jessica bit down trembling hands as another thunder clapped, ‘Don’t make a sound! Don’t make a sound!’ The cabin wasn’t that small but Jessica was using the sole of her feet to push herself to the corner. Right then, for Jessica, she’s seven once again, hiding in the closet and the monster was outside, ready to get her.

Lighting struck, much bigger, with thunder louder than the others and all Jessica could do was whimper silently at the corner.

Suddenly loud knocks came from the door. Jessica looked up in fear.

Her father was here.

She trembled as the knocks got louder and more impatient. The door looked like it’s going to break.

Jessica closed her eyes tightly shut. ‘No! No! No! Please don’t!’

“Sica-yah?”

Suddenly, all movements stopped. Her ears perked up. The familiarity in the voice brought some sense of reality back.

“Sica-yah, it’s me, Yuri. Are you there?”

Jessica stared as the knob turned slowly. The moment she saw that familiar raven black hair, she didn’t wait for the door to open fully before she ran to her, surprising her with a tight hug. She ignored the fact that Yuri would see her crying and that latter was completely drenched. She buried her face on Yuri’s neck and sobbed.

“Take me home?” She muttered against Yuri’s shoulder with a voice so small and so fragile, hands clenching tightly at the hem of Yuri’s wet shirt as if making sure she wouldn’t leave her like all of the other people in the world she loved.

Yuri’s answer came as arms that melted Jessica in damp yet warm embrace, a kiss on her hair, and a calming sensation of a chin resting on top of her head.

“Of course.”

--

Jessica had always been good at discovering places with a nice view where no one else but her could find.     

Jessica shifted her position on the bed, careful not to let the arm lying limply on her waist to fall down as she faced the person behind her. The serene expression on Yuri’s sleeping face greeted her and it was amazing how that alone was enough to calm her down. Tucking her right hand under the side of her face, she reached out to Yuri’s face with her left, gently tucking loose strands of hair behind the latter's ear. She stared at Yuri’s face for a long time, fingers tenderly tracing her skin, memorizing every curve and every bump of the only familiar thing that ever stayed in her life.

“I’m in love with you,” Jessica said in a whisper.

She was surprised when Yuri suddenly opened her eyes; her soft gaze easily consuming her whole.

When Yuri said nothing, Jessica looked down guiltily. She hid her eyes behind fringes as she held the hand that touched Yuri’s face against her chest like it had been burned. She had never felt so bare.

Jessica winced like a wounded puppy when she felt the weight of the arm on her waist lifted off her. For a moment, she thought Yuri would reject her.

Tears had already welled up her eyes when delicate fingers lifted up her chin and a pair of lips molded onto hers, capturing her to a long passionate kiss.

The moment Yuri pulled away, nose still touching hers and airy breath sending shivers on her skin as those brown eyes screamed words like, ‘I love you too,’ and ‘Don’t cry,’ Jessica knew she wouldn’t need to hide or run away ever again. 

With Yuri by her side, she got everything that she needed. 

Warm arms pulled her close and she buried her face on Yuri's neck. Lulled by the rising and falling of Yuri's chest, she closed her eyes and for the first time in her life, she was smiling as she fell asleep. 

Home had finally found her.