Luhan wakes up from the endless dripping of spring rain along his window pane on a Sunday morning. It was as gloomy as those sad songs listened by heartbroken people. Not until then a knock came from his door,

"Hyung! Hyung!" Luhan was about to get up from the couch when the wooden door smashed into the interior's wall. "Oh yeah, I already have the key," Sehun blurted out as he went straight to the couch facing the tiny blonde. 

Feeling irritated but somehow glad, Luhan asked why the hell is his best ing friend here again for the nth time this week. "I feel l-like..." Luhan swears Sehun is stuttering — for the first freaking time in his whole life.

"I l-like some-o-one," Scratching his nape, Sehun blushes. Luhan was left hysterically laughing out of the blue with the taller one's sudden confession. 

"Who's this unlucky person?" Luhan is still laughing, almost endlessly. "Y-, T-ta-o-o..." Sehun halts while his face was clearly red as he answered his hyung's query. 

And Luhan burst into cachinnating in a split second that he had teary eyes from his never ending laughter, "Stop laughing, ," The younger stated with pure seriousness. Luhan snickered, but ended up trying to pull the most sincere face of his.

"I'm planning on telling him on his birthday,"

Together with Chanyeol and Baekhyun who were completely love birds ever since grade school, Sehun went to the recording studio to accompany Luhan in rehearsing for his self-composed song to audition for being an idol.

"I've always wanted to hear you sing my first song," Luhan suddenly speaks, "Sing this ing song on my birthday, brat."

"You can't make me, ," Sehun declined as he side eyes his hyung, "I might as well just sing it in your funeral, dimwit." The younger joked while Luhan titters and made his way to continue his practice. 

"You're actually good for each other," Baekhyun abruptly confessed, "Yeah, and you're like, best friends ever since grade school up until now," Chanyeol added. Sehun laughs, probably weakly.

It was already late in the evening and Baekhyun needs to go home because of his endless paperworks. The two bade good bye as Sehun still waits for Luhan to finish. 

It was almost past twelve o'clock midnight and the younger started to get drowsy. 

"Get home." Luhan prompted while taking his break, "I have nothing else to do anyway," Sehun replied as he tries to open his eyes as widely as he can. 

The tiny blonde chuckled while he sat beside Sehun. The younger dozed off slowly as he landed on the older's lap then slept all at once.

Luhan grabbed his notebook with his finely marked pen then started to jot down notes. 

The notes were all about him. How he is precious to Luhan and how beautiful he looks with just every move he makes. Luhan gazes at the younger's face, feeling the sweet pain and undefined happiness and hatred all at once. He loves Sehun, he had always loved him — secretly. But his last string of hope begins to fade away with just the thought of the taller boy's confession about him being in love with Tao.

Sehun woke up leaning beside a small demure blonde. Luhan looks so innocent and delicate that he might break the moment you touch his skin. He stares at his hyung's flawless pale face; at his long thick lashes down to his perfectly molded nose and ended at his red pulpy lips. 

He was as precious and fragile as the angels above — he thought. And he continued to gaze at the older's existence almost making Luhan melt slowly.

Luhan was too determined into succeeding his performance that he practiced almost the whole day. Sehun and his other friends tried to let him take a break for a while but he wouldn't budge.

He wasn't so used into being awake until dawn so he took plenty of caffeine just to keep on rehearsing.

The awaited day came and the auditions was starting. Sehun, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, together with Tao, were in the fifth row, anticipating their friend's performance. They realized how serious the event was when they saw how amazing and jaw-dropping the other contenstants had pulled off on stage.

It was Luhan's turn and everyone looked up to him, waiting. The roaring silence made the tiny blonde fill up with pure anxiety.

Observing each faces in the room, he stopped with the taller skinny boy's existence, beaming eagerly at him while mouthing the words, "Fighting!"

Luhan smiled as the music starts. He held on to his microphone, and closed his eyes; feeling the beautiful melody of the song as he sang,

( click here to hear the song cos i am strongly recommending you to play Luhan's cover of "I Let You Go" from this point to feel more of the story lol )

wo yi zhi zuo zai ka fei ting de jia luo
Mei you ren fa xian wo hai zai nan guo
Qi shi zao jiu yi jing wang le zen me shuo
Jiu suan zai zen me she bu de
Ni hai shi zou 

He looks up to Sehun,

Wo hai bu xiang cheng ren zhe shi shi
Zen me hui bian cheng zhe ge yang zi
Mei you le Wo zhen de shen me dou mei you 
le Jiu xiang yi ge fei ren

He sees that delicate smile of the younger beaming at him as he saw his arms clinging on to Tao,

Hui jia de lu shang wo ku le
Yan lei zai yi ci beng kui le
Wu neng wei li zhe yang zou zhe
Zai ye bu gan jiao ao she qiu le
Wo hai neng gou shuo xie shen me
Wo hai neng gou zuo xie shen me
Wo hao xi wang ni hui ting jian
Yin wei ai ni wo rang ni zou le

Luhan swears he wants to cry seeing that scene and kiss his cherry-taste-like lips while he whispers how much he loves him and how much he is hurt,

wo yi zhi zuo zai ka fei ting de jia luo
Mei you ren fa xian wo hai zai nan guo
Qi shi zao jiu yi jing wang le zen me shuo
Jiu suan zai zen me she bu de
Ni hai shi zou

He wanted to tell him how the taller boy became his sweetest nightmare, 

Wo hai bu xiang cheng ren zhe shi shi
Zen me hui bian cheng zhe ge yang zi
Mei you le Wo zhen de shen me dou mei you 
le Jiu xiang yi ge fei ren

How he foolishly put the best smile he could ever pull to hide the pain,

Hui jia de lu shang wo ku le
Yan lei zai yi ci beng kui le
Wu neng wei li zhe yang zou zhe
Zai ye bu gan jiao ao she qiu le
Wo hai neng gou shuo xie shen me
Wo hai neng gou zuo xie shen me
Wo hao xi wang ni hui ting jian
Yin wei ai ni wo rang ni zou le

How he still keeps on going like nothing's wrong; like everything's fine,

Hui jia de lu shang wo ku le
Yan lei zai yi ci beng kui le
Wu neng wei li zhe yang zou zhe
Zai ye bu gan jiao ao she qiu le
Wo hai neng gou shuo xie shen me
Wo hai neng gou zuo xie shen me
Wo hao xi wang ni hui ting jian
Yin wei ai ni wo rang ni zou le
baby

"Can I just be him, at least?" Luhan thought as he finishes his final line.

The moment the music ran out, the crowd stood up, clapping at the boy on stage's performance. The people's heartwarming applause felt like a beautifully-made song that produced a harmonic rhythm to Luhan's ears setting aside the ache he's been keeping ever since he started to open his mouth.

But in a sea of people, there was only Sehun in the smaller boy's sight, smiling blissfully with his brown hazelnut eyes glistering as they gazed upon each other.

Luhan made his way to his friends as they congratulated him. They knew the announcements haven't been told, but they were definitely proud about Luhan's hardwork and perseverance being paid off with his outstanding and endearing performance.

Sehun hugged the older's skinny porcelain body as he whispered, "You were amazing back there, and oh god you should record this because you won't be hearing this again," Sehun swears Luhan chuckled, 

"I felt like hearing demure angels while listening to that damn angelic voice of yours and yes it was a jaw-dropping performance and god didn't you see pure amazement written all over the crowd's faces i mean damn i'm starting to get cheesy," Sehun blurted out as he saw Luhan's priceless smile waving at him, "Thank you, Sehun."

It was for Tao anyway — Luhan thought.

Luhan was about to turn back at the the taller lad and run away to let out all the pain when he realized its almost May 2, "Oh, and g-good luck with h-him, okay?" Luhan smiles sweetly as he eyes Tao just beside them and completely turned away with tears starting to race down from his eyes.

And leaving Sehun dumbfounded and somehow, hurt.

Three days after and Sehun was smiling and giggling over a particular book on a Wednesday morning. It was him and Luhan's book the younger had made — with their precious indelible memories on every page ever since. 

Until then, he received a phone call, "It's the day," Chanyeol spoke on the other line, almost languid. "I'll be there," Sehun groaned as he ended their three-word conversation. 

Sehun put on his dark leathered coat partnerned with a polo and a black necktie which is in perfect length for his broad chest.

As Sehun got to his destination, he immediately approached the little blonde while holding up a bouquet of white roses, 

"Hi Luhan, I hope you're safe now. Didn't you know? You got into the finals! I told you, you were extremely stunning while singing your song. I was left astonished while watching you perform back there," Sehun chuckles as tears form beneath his eyes,

"I'm sorry I left you driving alone while going back home when you're that tired after the auditions. I was so freaking dumb to not know, I hope you can forgive me," The younger's tears started to stream down his face,

"There's this perfect one word no one has ever heard yet that defines your whole existence. Everything you do, every detail, every feature of yours meant the world to me. I've known you almost my whole life and I had loved you ever since, up until now. I'm offering my heart up to you and no it's not Tao," Sehun began caressing Luhan's face under the coffin's glass. 

He grabbed an almost crumpled paper from his pocket then started singing Luhan's song, filled with weakness and rue,

"Just in case you can hear me, it has always been and will always be you, hyung. I hope I wasn't too late, but I love you, Luhan. I love you. This day was supposed to be the perfect time to say this. Didn't you remember? I was about to confess to you today, happy birthday,"