Chapter 2

Kyungsoo awakens to the sharp odor of antiseptic. He struggles to open his heavy lids, only to quickly shut them again when he’s assaulted by the glare of white—white bedsheets, white curtains, white uniforms. The only relief from the monochromatic scheme comes in the form of Luhan’s tousled brown hair and crumpled dark suit. 

“You’re still here,” Kyungsoo blurts. His voice sounds raspy to his own ears.

The weariness shows in Luhan’s smile, but it’s no less sincere for it. A spark of amusement brightens his otherwise tired eyes.

“Still here,” he echoes with a long stretch. “Must’ve fallen asleep. How are you feeling? Doctor says you were low on blood sugar.”

Kyungsoo stares at him with wordless suspicion. It’s morning, by the looks of sunlight filtering in through the hospital windows. Other patients in the room have already begun to chow down on breakfast. Kyungsoo hopes his face doesn’t betray the resounding why that crowds his brain and aches to be asked. Why would someone of Luhan’s stature deign to stay with the likes of him in a crowded hospital room all night?

“I’m fine,” Kyungsoo says shortly. And mostly it’s true, though he still feels a bit groggy. The IV trip they’ve inserted must have temporarily resolved the problem. 

“That’s good. You should make sure to eat breakfast though. Look, I’ve got to run back to the firm to finish a couple things,”—Luhan catches Kyungsoo looks of guilt and quickly adds, “Nothing big, don’t worry. Will you be okay on your own? I couldn’t find any contact information last night, but if you give me their number, I can call your parents for you—”

“No.”

“I’m sorry?” Luhan looks taken aback.

“I’m fine. I’d like to go home. Thanks for your help.” Already, Kyungsoo begins to step up from the bed. Luhan rushes to guide him when he stumbles. 

“Hey, are you sure?” Luhan asks, uncertain. “The doctor says you need rest. Maybe it’s best if—”

“I’d like to go home. Please.”

Luhan takes in Kyungsoo’s look of determination and is surprised by his stubborn strength. It reminds him, a little bit, of another boy he once knew. With a resigned smile, he acquiesces. 

“Okay, but I’m driving you.”

Luhan drives a nice little Porsche. Kyungsoo doesn’t know much about cars, but even he can tell that the car’s fancy from the way his lungs are flooded with the scent of unadulterated leather. He draws a little more into himself, subconsciously attempting to minimize contact with the car’s interior so that he doesn’t accidentally dirty or scratch anything. 

If Luhan notices, he doesn’t comment. Instead, he makes languid small talk between the GPS’s monotone directions. 

“Are you really 21?” he asks at one point. 

“19,” Kyungsoo admits sullenly. 

“Ah, still older than I’d guessed. But not many 19 year olds are out to be janitors. Most of them work at cute little coffee shops, no?”

“I work where it pays more.” 

“Hmm. Smart.”

As they pause at a red light, Luhan asks if Kyungsoo works a day job too, to which Kyungsoo replies that he still goes to school. It shouldn’t bother Kyungsoo anymore—he thought he’s long ago learned not to care about what people think of him—but some part of him feels ashamed of admitting this to Luhan. He stares out the window blankly.

But Luhan surprises him by saying, “Well, that’s good.”

“What?” Kyungsoo turns to look at Luhan with widened eyes. 

“That you haven’t dropped out. Lots of kids do these days, especially when they have to work. But I think it’s pretty important to pull through. Good for you.”

Before the light turns green, Luhan offers Kyungsoo a quick gentle smile devoid of mockery. Kyungsoo turns away sharply to stare out the window again. He opens his eyes as wide as possible and doesn’t blink for a long time.

Luhan stops the car at the alleyway near Kyungsoo’s apartment.

“Thanks for the ride,” says Kyungsoo. 

“No problem! Can you make it up by yourself?”

“Yeah. I…” Kyungsoo hesitates. He only now realizes that it’s been awhile since he’s conversed with another human being for any length of time and he struggles to form the correct words. “Thank you. For…for everything.”

“Oh, not at all! I’m glad to help—”

“—I can’t really pay you back right now.”

Luhan peers at Kyungsoo questioningly. 

“For the hospital stay, I mean. And for your time…I know I probably threw off your work schedule. You can take it out of my pay though. I mean, if you’ll let me continue working,” Kyungsoo adds quickly, nervously. 

Luhan’s eyes grow large with surprise before he lets out an amused laugh. “Kyungsoo, don’t even worry about it. I’m happy to help, really. And I’m glad you’re working at our company. We need bright young ones like you.” 

“Oh,” Kyungsoo breathes. He looks down at his lap, hoping Luhan can’t see the color rising in his cheeks or his fast blinking eyes. 

“Just get some rest, okay? And don’t worry about the hospital bill. It’s small change, really. And what’s more important than an employee’s health? Just focus on your recovery and come back when you’re ready, okay?”

“…Okay.”

Kyungsoo gets out of the car and waves hesitantly at Luhan. He stands there, watching the car drive away until it’s out of sight. His vision is annoyingly blurry.

“Kyungsoo! Where have you been?” 

His mother sounds half worried, half accusing. Her eyes are bloodshot and her hair’s a mess. Kyungsoo avoids her gaze as he makes his way to his room. “Working.”

“All night? Where do you work these days?”

Her questions annoy him more than they should. He knows she’s just concerned, but all he wants is to shower and get out of here. He replies with an impatient, “It’s fine, mom. I’m going to shower.”

She doesn’t say anything and he makes the mistake of looking her way. A sharp pang of guilt stabs him when he sees the tears in her eyes. 

“Sorry, I—”

“It’s okay,” she says. “Just…just call next time, okay? I get worried.”

“…Yeah, I will.”

“Anyway, I’m the one who should be sorry.” Her voice sounds choked up as she says this. “I’m the one…”

The guilt subsumes Kyungsoo now and he wishes he could say something to make it better. “It’s a good job,” he says, lamely. “My boss is nice. You don’t have to worry.”

She smiles brokenly at him. “You shouldn’t have to work at all. You should be going to school. You should…I…” Her words grow incoherent as she begins to cry in earnest. 

Kyungsoo watches her quietly for a few seconds. Then he takes a deep breath and asks, hesitantly, “Mom, do you…do you want to leave? We can go and start over, just the two of us. I can get a job, I’m sure—any job—and it’ll be enough for us. We don’t…we don’t have to stay here. Let’s not stay here any longer.”

Her sobs subside momentarily and she stares at Kyungsoo in shocked silence. “…Just go?”

“Yeah…just the two of us…”

“But what about…what about your father?”

A sense of hopelessness descends upon Kyungsoo. His voice grows hard. “What about him?”

“We can’t just…we can’t just abandon him, Kyungsoo. He needs our help. He—we can’t leave him.”

He needs our help? 

That monster needs our help? That one who’s out getting drunk right now so that he can come back and hit me and make you cry? He needs our help? 

She doesn’t notice Kyungsoo’s coldness and keeps imploring. “I know you don’t remember him when he was in his good state, but he used to be a different man. He was a good father to you, Kyungsoo! He used to take you to the park and look after you and feed you and take care of you…And he was so good to me. And I know these years haven’t been great for us, but we’re a family! And we can’t—I mean, what would we do without—and what would he—“

“—I have to shower,” Kyungsoo interrupts. “I have to go to school soon.”

“Kyungsoo…”

“I’ll see you later.”

Kyungsoo tries to sneak into the classroom through the back door. He opens and closes it as quietly as he can, but old Mr. Lee has a internalized radar for misbehaving students. He skewers Kyungsoo with a sharp gaze and asks why he’s late. 

“You want to have to take this class a third time, is that it?” Mr. Lee demands.

The student onlookers exchange amused smirks, and Hyunwoo barely manages to stifle a chuckle. Even Jongin wakes up briefly at Mr. Lee’s mean-spirited shout. He peers sleepily at Kyungsoo, who stands at the periphery of the classroom with a straightened back and an expressionless face. 

“No, Sir,” Kyungsoo answers calmly. “I had an emergency.”

Kyungsoo’s unruffled demeanor grates on Mr. Lee more than a bit. He clenches his chalk tight and orders coldly, “Do Kyungsoo, get out of my classroom.”

Kyungsoo stares defiantly at the teacher for one moment. His lips set into a thin line. But the moment passes, and he says a quiet, “…Yes, Sir.”

Jongin’s gaze follows Kyungsoo as he makes his exit. While Taemin shakes his head and the boy at the next desk over tries to muffle his laughter, Jongin wonders if no one else is at least a little bit impressed by Kyungsoo’s remarkable stoicism.

Meanwhile, standing outside in the quiet hallway, Kyungsoo muses over what a waste this trip to school has been. But at least, he thinks, the day can’t get any worse than this. 

But of course it’s does. Hyunwoo, Jingoo, and three of their friends corner Kyungsoo when class lets out. Many watch but no one helps as the group pushes him along to an unknown destination.

Taemin remarks to Jongin: “Poor kid can’t catch a break, huh?”

Jongin shrugs. 

“It’s partially your fault, you know. For drawing attention to him yesterday with the stupid seat incident.”

Jongin frowns at the friendly admonishment. “I just liked the seat, that’s all. And he didn’t put up much of a fight. It’s not like I forced him to give it up.”

Taemin raises a brow. “Yeah, okay. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Jongin’s frown deepens and he allows himself another look at Kyungsoo. He notices for the first time how small of stature Kyungsoo actually is. He’s almost swallowed by the group surrounding him. The boy’s height seems incongruous with his imperturbable demeanor. 

“You coming?” Taemin calls from a few steps ahead.

Jongin turns away from Kyungsoo and nods. “Yeah.” An feeling of discomfort knots at his stomach, but he dismisses it without further thought. 

If there’s one thing Jongin definitively avoids, it’s getting entangled in other people’s business. Nothing good ever comes from that. 

No one’s surprised when Kyungsoo shows up to afternoon classes looking worse for wear. But people are surprised to see Jongin remain awake for a long stretch of the afternoon, and to catch him occasionally darting glances at Kyungsoo. 

It begins to drizzle as Kyungsoo makes his way home—a fitting end to a terrible day. Kyungsoo tries not to think about the fact that it’s only the second day of the school year and there remains many months to endure. 

I think it’s pretty important to pull through. 

Kyungsoo focuses instead on the memory of Luhan’s encouraging smile from this morning. Actually, Kyungsoo has a plan. He wants to graduate high school and go to college and find a job and become independent and leave all of this behind. It’s a dream he’s always hung onto, a mantra he repeated to himself whenever things get unbearable, which happens more often than he’d like. He hadn’t counted on anyone’s encouragement; he had long ago dismissed the possibility of receiving help.

But now that someone has offered encouragement, even if it was only a thoughtless, off-hand remark, he finds that he’s surprisingly buoyed by it. He’s almost distracted from the pounding of his head, which had briefly went away in the morning and then returned full force after his lunchtime encounter. (Or is beating a more accurate description?)

He’s glad the house is empty when he makes it home. He can’t be bothered to wonder where his mother’s gone and instead collapses onto his bed. Just as he’s about to drift into a much needed afternoon nap, the phone rings. 

Kyungsoo, already surprised to receive a call, is even more shocked to hear Luhan’s melodic voice come through. 

“Kyungsoo, are you there?”

“…Yes.”

“Good. How are you feeling? Did you get some rest?”

“I…yeah…”

“Oh, good.” Luhan sounds uncertain, as if he doesn’t quite believe Kyungsoo. “Hey, look, why don’t you take the day off? I won’t take your salary. It’ll be, you know, sick leave. The office will be fine. Just get some rest for the evening, okay?”

“I…what?”

“I’m worried about you, Kyungsoo. Can’t have you fainting on the job again. I’d get a bad rep,” Luhan replies jokingly. “No, but in all seriousness, just take it easy. I’ll see you tomorrow, if you’re feeling alright. Okay?”

“…I…yeah, okay.”

“Good. Feel better!”

Kyungsoo hangs up the antiquated landline with a dazed look. He had hardly expected…with Luhan being barely more than a stranger. 

A feeling builds within him. He can’t quite describe it, only that he doesn’t like it because pushes at the hardened walls that he’s worked so long to build. He bites his lower lip and crawls back into bed, forcing his eyes closed. He tries not think about Luhan either now, because he knows it’s dangerous.

He doesn’t want to release that last evil in Pandora’s box—hope. 

***TBC***

A/N: Thanks for reading, all <3 

P.S. I've started a personal tumblr with doodles and random things about my life, so if you're interested, you can find me at theartsnail.tumblr.com! Would love to meet new friendos :))