Hard work it's what they live with everyday. They have to get up, if any of them even slept and go get ready for the next, exhausting day. There isn't something like a "day off", if you want to debut, you have to sacrifice all of you and there's nothing you can do. You have to stood out from everybody. And between so many talented people you know how big is your chance? Almost zero. You can call it rough, unfair or anything like that, but... Isn't business like that? So don't come here whining, because you did something good once and no one notice you. You've got to be great, you've got to be perfect all the time, or you won't survive in the industry.

               At first, everything was a pure fun for three boys who came to know each other, laugh together and train together. However, as time passed, everything was getting more and more difficult, they became impatient, scared and fear of never coming up on the stage was waking them up in the middle of the night, covered with cold sweat. What they did at that time? Well... Bobby was an individual when it came to his emotions, he would write another song and give in to the music completely. And probably, Hanbin would do that too, but how could he, when a pair of insecure eyes was looking deeply into his, pleading him to just open his arms and embrace little man before him, to protect him. Jinhwan... He might be older than them, but his soul was pure and innocent just like the soul of a little boy. That's why Hanbin felt as he needed to make him feel secured, he needed to be sure, that this boy won't miss his home that much. They supported each other as the three of them, but between those two, there was this connection. Maybe he and Bobby was alike and they should be closer, but that was another story.
               The more time passed, the more people came to the trainee circle. They end up with eleven boys. All of them young, full of dreams and passion for what they do. They shared tough times and hopes. But their bonds and strength were out under a question mark, when Hyunsuk decided to make a competition and part them as a Team A and Team B. Hanbin was glad that sajangnim put the trio together. He wouldn't stand being separate with the other two.

               Beginning was great, they won two times over the other team, and he felt proud of themselves, that their abilities were approved. Of course he felt sorry for the other guys, let's face it, they were also his friends and he always wanted all of them to be happy. He didn't let himself to lay on the laurels, he worked twice as hard as before and often found himself sleeping in the studio, thinking about the new song or choreography. Always, he woke up in the morning, covered with blanket and on the sofa. For the long time he didn't found who was responsible for this. Until one night, he woke up, and there was a body laying next to his, face hidden in the crook of his own neck. He didn't need the boy to show his features, he could always recognize this scent of his, his fragile body and fluffy hair. Instead of standing up, he just pulled him closer, nuzzling his nose into the hair of the other and its intoxicating smell lulled him to sleep immediately.
              

               More of the pressure came with the first failure. They lost. And it wasn't even the professionals choice, but the choice of the audience. And he questioned himself, were they not enough? What went wrong? How is that even possible, when he gave 200% of himself and still... There was nothing he could do. Frustration took control over him, he lost his cool. On the practice, he was even more harsh, trying to perfect everything. Just imagine his anger, when YG disapproved they song the day before second competition. Energy drinks and coffee was all, that kept him awake. When he finished, he finally get to shower himself, cause there was no time for sleeping. As soon as they could ,they started rehearsals, every sing one of them frustrated as hell, when lyrics just couldn't get into their minds. Curses and loud yells was heard all over the room, good thing, that they weren't recorded then. But as Jinhwan's hand found its place on Hanbin's arm, he knew that everything it's going to be okay. This cute, reassuring smile gave him another amount of strength that they can do it.
               But the time of the camera rehearsal came and when team couldn't get the lyrics right, he was furious, disappointed. With himself, with all of them. And he couldn't hide it anymore. He sat there, pissed and even snarled at Bobby who tried to calm him down. He needed fresh air, he felt suffocated and all world came crashing him in that moment. He didn't want to see anyone, so imagine his thoughts when two familiar figures came into sight. What you couldn't see in the airing of the show, was a few lines between him and Jinhwan right after Bobby decided to come back to the rest of a group.
- B.I, you can't be like that, we need you. I know that you are annoyed, we all are, but... - his soft voice would sooth him in any other situation, but in this particular moment, it just pulled the trigger.
-You don't know how I feel. YG doesn't compare you to in G-Dragon, he didn't put everything on your shoulders. And you didn't let him down like I did. So what the hell give you the right to tell me, that you understand me? - Hanbin snapped, looking almost insane, but he couldn't care less.

-Just... Shut up - Jinhwan whispered, his voice all broken and hurt.

-What did you just say?!- Hanbin voice was rough. However, the moment he found the tears on the beautiful face of his friend, he regretted it instantly. He came closer, being face to face with him, caressing his cheek to get rid of the tears. He stopped to lightly touch his adorable mole and smiled, but without his usual confidence. This smile was begging for forgiveness, while he murmured
"I'm sorry" right before placing his lips onto Jinhwan's forehead. They came back, while Hanbin's hand loosely laid on smaller's shoulders. After some encourages and bringing up the mood, they got to performance well, not perfect, but still well. Even so, this battle ended up as lost again and everything that B.I could do, was to close in his own room, not leaving for a whole day. Many yelled and asked him to open, pleaded him, but he didn't answer. All that he coul do was to cry and throw his emotions into a new, painful lyrics. But the soft knock was all, that was needed to break through the thick walls surrounding his heart. He just knew who it was. And then, after a moment full of doubts, he finally stood up to open the door. He let him in, locking the doors again.
- I came here...
- To cheer me up? No can do, Jinhwan - his voice was neutral, but his words were cruel. His hard gaze never leaving this strangely determined face of his friend.
- I didn't come here to cheer you up - That statement threw Hangbin off the rails and he rose his brows and let him speak further - I came to tell you, that I am here for you. No matter how it hurts me sometimes, how harsh you can be, but... I know that is not personal and I am stupid to take it that way, but... - He was cut off by the strong arms, which instantly embraced him. Soft moves of the taller's hand was caressing him, making his heart to beat faster without a reason. In that moment, Jinhwan was scared that his crimson red cheeks or this strong beating of his heart will make Hanbin laugh or bully him. But nothing like that happened, instead, they landed in his bed and the younger's head laid on his knees. Jinhwan couldn't stop himself from brushing his hair or handsome face, studying how his expression softened with every second, making him perfectly beautiful. It's not like he was ugly, when his was mad. In contrary, he was even more... hot then. That single thought made Jinhwan's cheek to burn up even more. Hanbin looked at him interested and creased his eyebrows, supporting his weight on elbow, he reached to his forehead.
-Something wrong? You look as if you were sick. I told you to take care of yourself, hyung. And I am supposed to be younger here, tsk... - he smiled gently and laid them both, making sure that Jinhwan was covered with comforter from head to toes. Older was so embarrassed, that he choose to pretend being sick, than to admit to his sinful thoughts. B.I tried even to sing him a lullaby, but end up rapping some song, his hot breathe against his ears, making him shiver from the sensation. It was so innocent, but it woke up something into the older's heart, something which presence he didn't acknowledge for a long time. He pretended to be asleep, when he felt a little peck on his lips.
-You are so adorable, I'm really sorry for hurting you - whisper followed, but when he opened his eyes, the other already drifted to sleep, leaving him confused as he was never before. Confused, but at the same time fluttered and happy, like never before. As if he just found out the lost piece of the puzzle and everything was now complete.

               Moments of happiness lasted 'til the very last battle, B.I was even more caring, demanding even more, but who wouldn't be in his case? Everything was simply perfect. Their little touches, eating together, sleeping together when they could. They grew even closer, but Hanbin still took it as a friendly type of closeness. And well... Jinhwan wasn't going to change that soon, he was too scared of his own feelings, to expect anybody else to understand them. Especially him. Maybe he took this little gesture wrong? Maybe he just imagined it? He was deadly tired then, so it was all possible.

               After they lost for the last time, the sorrow in their hearts deepened. They felt happy for their friends, however how could you not be worried about your future in that moment? Hanbin felt a familiar hand that sneaked to his, linking their fingers together in surprisingly strong grip, as if Jinhwan was going to fall if he wasn't supported. After congratulating the other team, he encircled his arm around him, whispering comforting words to his ear, even though he didn't believe it himself. After the show ended, he disappeared again, only to be found in the middle of the night, completely drunk, banging on the door. Small figure opened them for him and in one moment later, Jinhwan found himself leaning against the wall, trapped between Hanbin's arms.
- You stink and you're drunk, mr leader - his voice wasn't as firm as he wanted, it was full of concern. Concern that Hanbin felt, he didn't deserved for.
-Stating the obvious, aren't we? - Hiccups made it sound a little less arrogant, he couldn't focus his eyes, but kept him on the boy's face. - But who cares, Jinhwanie? Who cares? - he asked almost melodically, but then he leaned closer to his ear, to whisper - Nobody.
-That's not true. You've got to sleep, all this alcohol and lack of sleep get onto your mind. Come to bed, please... - Jinhwan's pleads were so soft, filled with fear.
- Bull. - A loud thud was heard when Hanbin's fist made a contact with the wall, leaving there a little scratch - Worrying about me? Show me... - His body moved closer, their skin touched and there wasn't space for Jinhwan to even breathe - Show me how much you want to protect me, Jinhwannie hyung - And then, Hanbin's lips came crashing his, it wasn't gentle at all. It was rough, possessive maybe and demanding. Not at all how Jinhwan imagined it would be. He tried to push him away, but in response, his wrists was pulled above his head in a tight grip of Hanbin's hand. Younger pushed his knee between the smaller's thigh, massaging his mahood with full force, making him gasp in surprise. And that's when Hanbin's tongue decided to slip between those parted, luscious lips of his, invading them. Tears began to well up in older's eyes, threatening to fall, but before it could happen, the noise make Hanbin to move from him and soon, they saw Bobby in the hallway.
-Yo, what's happening here? - His hoarse voice was all that filled the room at that moment and before Hanbin could ruin anything, Jinhwan found a strength in him to speak.
- Nothing, just a drunk leader. Help me get him to his room. And could I sleep with you later? It would smell terribly in our room in the morning - The oldest crinkled his nose adorably and Bobby couldn't say no. He didn't know that behind this, there was another reason - Jinhwan was simply scared of what could happen, if they would be left alone again.
               After this incident, they avoided each other like they never used to. The tension was visible and there wasn't a person, who could deny it. Sometimes, Hanbin would do these little moves, to get closer, to regain his trust, but that was easy to say, harder to achieve. When it comes to feelings, Jinhwan was one of the most closed person you could imagine. It took them three years to make this bond and after one disastrous night, it could be destroyed forever.

               There was only one thing that was let for him. Even though he knew, he could only ruin things more with this step, he decided to took his risk, betting everything on this. Rush of adrenaline came through his veins as he carefully planned everything, in the smallest detail. He said the rest of them, to tell Jinhwan, that he need to go back to studio for something important. They knew, that he would do that, his warm heart would do anything to help any of them.
               But what he didn't expect was to find B.I standing in the middle of the candle-lit room, filled with soft music. He blinked rapidly, trying to process everything.
- I see that you're waiting for someone, I won't interrupt - he mumbled, backing out slowly, but the soft protest stopped him.
-Yes, I wait for someone. I wait for you. - He admitted, really intimidated. - I know I've been an and that's what I want to apologize you for. I'm sorry for making you worry, when I should take care of you. I'm sorry that I caused your pain. And I... prepared something for you... - Hanbin cleared his voice. It was his first time to feel that insecure before performing for someone. But it wasn't just someone... It was Jinhwan. And so he started, singing this time. Softly, but his voice was deep and sensual, and Jinhwan had to bit his lip to not squirm like a little girl.
 

"I know I can't take it back,
Just forgive me my lack of tact,

Give me one of these beautiful smiles,

Cause I can't give up, even when I try.

You're coming to me as a dream,

And all I want to do is scream.

If I can't have you, let me fade,

I won't manage to give you away.

My world is enlighten by you,

Little angel you know it's true."

And after that, unconsciously Jinhwan took a few step closer and he was facing his leader, watching him with eyes full of expectations,  kindness and worry. But it wasn't that important anymore the time their lips met again. They took their time, slowly brushing them together, and Hanbin couldn't hide how much he enjoyed the sweetness of smaller's mouth. He his cheek, poking this cute mole near his eye with affection and when they part to take a breath, their foreheads pressed together and breaths melted as one.

- I wish our first kiss was like that  - Hanbin's whisper broke the silence, and it was Jinhwan's turn to smile encouragingly, brushing his hair slowly.
-Our first kiss was sweet too, but fast - he chuckled, and Hanbin's eyes widened instantly.
-You weren't asleep then?
-What do you think? - Jinhwan raised his brow and then both of them simply laughed. It wasn't the time for big declaration of love or anything more. This was the time for them to enjoy together, to make this feeling bloom and rise highly. They were still young, but both felt as if they have just found the significant piece of their hearts - and there wasn't any more beautiful feeling, that they could experience for now.




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Sorry for a lame fic, sorry for failed poem - I am not so good at them, but I wrote it really quickly. And now I am going to sleep and hope that maybe somebody will like it, haha!