changmin always bounces back, always resurfaces from the dark place he's in. when his voice cracks on that last note, even when his feet move too soon for the beat and the eyes of thousands stare daggers into his back, he always recovers. after every hit and every headache and every worry, he punches back with twice the force and eyes twinkling with mirth.
 

yunho is envious. he's envious when he finds himself under the covers with hot hot tears dripping from the bridge of his nose and onto his pillow. the fabric is soaked and it sticks unpleasantly to his cheek but the tears dont stop so he doesn't try to fix it. his leg throbs from where it lay still propped up on a pillow, and he tries so hard to keep the voices out of his head, but he cant he just cant.
 

"yunho-ssi..... i'm afraid we have some bad news." drip "we took an x-ray of your leg and-" drip "-it looks like...." drip drip drip "i'm sorry yunho-ssi but..." drip drip drip drip dri- "you may never walk again." 
 

flood
 

yunho loses it into his pillow, clenched fists pounding at his mattress, the pain he feels only half-way making it through his screams that are torn from his throat. so long, so long for nothing. all of it for nothing.  he grasps for the lamp at his bedside table, grabbing hold of it and hurling it blindly without aim. it shatters against the wall, and he's sure that he's woken the members up and what are they going to think of him now-
 

he grips the sheets tightly, body shaking with the effort of trying to keep wretched sobs from escaping his throat. he hears shuffling from the other room, whispers of sheeting pulling across bodies and he panics, brings the covers around his head and trying to stay still despite the fast breaths that wrack his body. he's curled under the covers for what seems like hours, toes bent and fingers buried in layers of warm cotton. he starts to relax after a few minutes, albeit he's still crying, and he begins to unfurl until-
 

there's a subtle click from the other side of his room, the sound of the doorknob turning, the door sliding open and then shut. yunho holds his breath, feeling socked feet travel closer and closer to his bed. he tries his hardest to pretend he's asleep, tries to even out his breathing, but his breath hitches and the tears spill over again he can't stop the full body shiver that rips through him.
 

"oh." a quiet voice, possibly changmin's "oh, hyung."
 

there's silence on changmin's part, complete and utter silence, before changmin situates himself on yunho's bed, the covers and trying to pull them from yunho's grip. there's a struggle, but yunho is too exhausted to put up anymore of a fight and he releases the covers with a shaky breath. he feels the warmth radiating from changmin, long arms wrapping around his torso. his fingers tremble, but he squeezes changmin's bicep, silent tears leaking from the corner of his eye.
 

what will he think of me now, i'm supposed to be U-know Yunho, i'm the constant in his life, the wall and i've let him down i'm not strong enough for him i've failed him-
 

calloused thumbs brush against his cheek, wiping away stray tears and pulling the sore skin around his eyes. changmin pauses, wriggles out of the sheets for a moment, but comes back with his phone in hand and clicks it on. he sets it between them, the soft light illuminating their faces and they simply stare at each other and wait.
 

changmin exhales, and yunho wonders how changmin can say so much with a single breath.
 

he lets changmin trace patterns on his now-drying cheek, hearts and stars and constellations and yunho feels the exhaustion work its way into his eyes, and he lets them droop but still studies the contast of light and dark on changmin's face. yunho notices the eyebags, hidden slightly under makeup and he thinks i should be comforting him right now, not the other way around. so he tries, he places his fingers on the soft skin of changmin's forearm, brushing it slightly in a way he knows relaxes changmin's nerves.
 

"hyung, this isn't about me. let me take care of you."
 

yunho stills, stares at changmin through tired but surprised eyes and a feels a small smile building behind his teeth. let me take care of you, hyung. say changmin's eyes and yunho rests his fingertips on changmin's elbow and just lets himself go.

 

they stay like that until daybreak, the phone long forgotten and left lying somewhere between their smushed bodies. yunho falls asleep before changmin for once, too tired to keep his sore eyes open. changmin lets himself doze off when yunho's fully asleep, and they fit together like they were molded for one another, the contours of their bodies aligned perfectly.  jaejoong checks in at 8 am, peeks in through the door. he smiles fondly, a little less sadness in his eyes, and switches the alarm on yunho's phone to 12 pm.

 

he slips quietly through a crack in the door and flips open his own phone to call the manager.