“Hey Jjong?”

“What do you want this time, Taemin?” The younger rolled onto his side, arm bent and head propped up on his hand as he stared—or tried to, though he didn’t see anything—through the darkness at Jonghyun’s bed. “Did you fall asleep?”

“No, just…” There was a deep sigh that had Jonghyun perking up immediately, turning over to face Taemin’s bed as well. “I know you don’t believe in it, but… do you think there could really be a God? For people that believe, at least? Like, is there actually someone listening?”

“What’s got you thinking there isn’t?”

“It’s not that I don’t, but, just, you know, I’ve been thinking. I know he’s there and he’s listening, but a lot of other people don’t seem to think so and… why do you think there isn’t a God? That’s a better way to put it.”

Jonghyun sighed and rolled back over to stare up at the glow-in-the-dark stars they’d plastered above their beds years ago. “I just… don’t. I’ve never had a reason to believe there was. I never prayed to anyone or asked someone to forgive me for things I’ve done and I’m doing pretty well, right? I’m living my dream, I have a nice life, and I have other things I believe in.”

“But maybe that’s because someone that does believe was praying for you. Asking God to wait until you do believe.”

“Well he’s going to have to wait until the day I see his face greeting me after I die then.” He gave a small laugh, even though Taemin remained silent. “It’s just my way of living. I think everything comes from working for it yourself and things happen just because they do. You think things happen because God is rewarding or punishing you, and that’s all there is to it.”

“But still…”

“Why don’t I ask you this then: why do you believe there is a God?”

“Because that’s what the Bible says. And the church. It’s because of him that things happen as they do and that’s why I—”

“But do you listen to everything the Bible says?”

“Well… yeah.” There was a thud from Taemin’s bed as his arm gave out and his head fell onto the pillow, but he simply rolled over to stare at the stars as well then.

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

“What about the fact that the Bible says a man and a man shouldn’t be together?”

“Leviticus 20:13? ‘If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them.’” Jonghyun snorted as Taemin finished the reciting from memory. “I… People understand it incorrectly. Women were inferior to men, so it is saying that a man cannot lay with another man as if he were below him, when they were the same.”

“That’s not what the church says.”

“It also says later that ‘If there is a man who lies with a menstruous woman and uncovers her ness, he has laid bare her flow, and she has exposed the flow of her blood; thus both of them shall be cut off from among their people.’ That is not followed as well, even though they come from the same part.” Taemin gave a small smile. “People pick and choose their fights and use what seems of use to them without understanding it all. And so that’s were most people get caught up and appear bigoted. But if you know what you are talking about and actually read the Bible for yourself, you realize it’s not really how those people see it. Also,” he in a deep breath, “even if you don’t see it like that, these are all part of the Old Testament law code, which was fulfilled by Jesus. By bringing up these passages as a reason to oppose same- relationships means that you are ignoring the sacrifices he made for us to not have to follow these laws, which is practically the same as slapping him in the face. And then there is Sodom and Gomorrah too, which is just that they only threatened the angels and didn’t help poor strangers in need, not because they were men that were going after men. And—”

“I get it, Taemin. I know already. You’re telling me what I told you 5 years ago.”

“Sorry…”

“So you believe there’s a god because the bible tells you so. I don’t believe there’s a god because, to me, the bible would have been written by humans and therefore isn’t the word of God, but humans putting words to this mythical being that isn’t there so that other humans follow their will.” Jonghyun yawned, stretching his mouth wide and not bothering to hide it from Taemin.

“Yeah, but… why?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific than just ‘why?’ Minnie.”

“Why do you feel like that?”

“Because I was raised to find my own beliefs and that’s what I decided on.” After a few seconds, Jonghyun shifted and rolled back in his bed. “Come here. My neck hurts from looking at you.” Taemin slowly rolled from his bed, feet softly pattering on the cold floor as he crossed the room and then sunk into the mattress with Jonghyun. “You know I went to church when I was younger, don’t you?”

“You’ve already told me many times.”

“And after sitting through all those classes and boring—”

“Yah—”

“Sermons and everything, I decided it just wasn’t for me. I just couldn’t believe in it, no matter how hard I try. Like, you know how some people believe there are vampires and zombies and all that, but others don’t? That’s me. I just couldn’t believe it, whereas you do. And we are each allowed our own opinion.”

“I guess…”

“But what’s got you thinking so hard about this at,” Jonghyun glanced over their shoulders at the red digits of the clock, “two-thirty-seven in the morning?”

“My rosary bracelet flew off during the performance yesterday…”

“That’s all?” When Taemin gave a feeble nod, Jonghyun pulled him closer while chuckling. “Let’s fix that then.”

“There were hundreds of people there Jonghyun and, and why are you taking out your phone? What’s that going to do?”

“Here you go Minnie.” Taemin’s eyes fought against the brightness of the screen that contrasted with the darkness of the room, trying his hardest to read even in those few seconds of blindness. “A fangirl wants to give it back to you, so you’ll get it tomorrow. Now let’s go to sleep.”

“Okay, hyung…”

“And stay here with me.” Jonghyun’s arms wrapped tight around Taemin’s waist, a vice holding him in place even though the younger wasn’t trying to move. “You’re nice and warm and my bed is freezing.”

“Okay, hyung.”

“And goodnight Minnie~” Jonghyun pulled his blanket up higher, practically choking Taemin when he pulled it tight at first. Only a few seconds later, he was relaxing into the younger, their bodies molding to each other as the peacefulness of sleep started to take hold.

“Wait wait wait I haven’t said my prayers yet.”

And Jonghyun chuckled as Taemin scrambled out of bed, because what else was there that he could do?