Each day Kyungsoo wakes up gasping for breath, blinking away the tears in his eyes, heart beating out of his chest.

Each day Kyungsoo lays in bed with a clear head, feeling the nerves tingle throughout his body and the energy flowing through his limbs, making him feel indestructible.

Each day Kyungsoo spends five minutes in the body of a monster in atonement for his sins.

Each day Kyungsoo reaches over to his nightstand and grabs the small bottle of midnight blue pills, shakily slipping one past his lips.

Each day Kyungsoo swallows down all his hopes and dreams.

Each day Kyungsoo opens his front door and takes a hesitant step out, hurriedly gathering the things he had ordered online before stumbling back into his house, hyperventilating, afraid of his very existence.

Each day Kyungsoo lets out a sigh of relief as he feels the energy dying and his body becoming sluggish.

Each day Kyungsoo’s mind deteriorates a little bit more.

Each day Kyungsoo spends dragging himself from the kitchen to the bathroom, only having enough energy to perform the two task that require him to keep living on.

Each day Kyungsoo does the bear minimum to survive another day.

Each day Kyungsoo goes to sleep to the feeling of his arms prickling, as if they are awakening from falling asleep.

Each day Kyungsoo dreams of a time when he was three and threw a temper tantrum that caused the Great Earthquake of 1992 that killed 183 people, including his mother.

Each day the crack on Kyungsoo’s wall gets a little deeper and a little longer.

 

Today Kyungsoo wakes up gasping for breath, sobbing uncontrollably, heart beating out of his chest.

Today Kyungsoo lays in bed with a clear head, feeling the nerves tingle throughout his body and the energy flowing through his limbs, making him throw up.

Today Kyungsoo will the leave the body of a monster, sick of atoning for his sins.

Today Kyungsoo reaches over to his nightstand and grabs the small bottle of midnight blue pills, shakily slipping half the bottle past his lips.

Today Kyungsoo swallows back everything that he ever was and could have been.

Today Kyungsoo can’t make it to his front door, and falls out of bed to crawl to the hallway.

Today Kyungsoo lets out a gasp of relief as his body spasms and his sight dims.

Today Kyungsoo's mind deteriorates completely and his heart begins to slow.

Today Kyungsoo’s mouth goes dry and he pisses himself two feet from the bathroom.

Today Kyungsoo realizes that even the bear minimum is unbearable, and he can’t survive another day.

Today Kyungsoo goes to sleep to the feeling of absolutely nothing, and the quite sound of his heart beat thumping one last time.

Today Kyungsoo dreams of a life where he is not a monster.

Today the crack on Kyungsoo’s wall remains unchanging forever.

 

 

 

 A/N:

Sorry (kind of). I wrote this in like thirty minutes because I needed to write something or else I would go crazy. And this is what happened.