Seulgi

“So, please tell me why you agreed to go on this blind date again?” I said, while watching her look at herself in the mirror.

“Does this dress seem too red?” She purses her lips, ignoring my question.

“Hello,” I wave, trying to get her attention. “I asked a serious question here, and yes that dress is too red."

She turns to me. “Why? Do you not want me to go?”

“No!” I blurt out. “He just seems odd."

“Well, according to Mrs.Jung, she said he’s a nice guy.”

“You barely know the guy,” I mutter. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing. Still, whatever she says to you, don’t let your guard down. Who knows? He could be a serial killer!”

Sooyoung scoffs. “You’re overreacting.”

Throwing my hands up the air, I defend myself. “I am just naming the possibilities. There’s no harm in wanting to be safe.”

“But unnie, you’re going overboard.”

“Am not! Besides, what else did that old woman say to hypnotize your mind with?”

She rests her hands on her hips. “Unnie, she did not hypnotize me. I mean,” she sighs, “the only thing she said was his name and age, which you already know. Also that he works in the medical field.”

I roll my eyes. “Boring.."

“What’s wrong with being a doctor?”

Shaking my head, I reply, “There’s nothing wrong with being a doctor. It’s just, what’s the word—cliché.”

Sooyoung reaches toward the hanger to try on another dress. “And?”

“You can do way better than that. Like, why not someone who has an uncommon career?”

“What do you mean?”

“A job you don’t usually hear of. You know, it would fascinating because then you can learn so much.”

“And being a doctor isn’t?”

“Look, most people around here are already doctors, so what’s the big deal?”

“They help save lives,” she answers, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I mean, duh, but come on. Go out of your comfort zone and find a unique guy.”

“Like whom?”

“Maybe an artist, athlete, dancer…or a singer,” I accidentally whisper the last word out loud. 

“Does this dress look fine?”

“Were you even listening to me?”

“Not really.”

Throwing a glare, I fold my arms. “You know you don’t even have to go above and beyond, right? It’s only a date, not a red carpet event.”

She stares at me with dejection in her eyes. “This is my first date in 4 years. I want to look nice as possible. Besides, what if the date goes really well?” I wince at her hopefulness at the end.

I purse my lips at her question, a lingering thought burning in the back of head. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I'm really horrified for you.”

“Don’t be.”

“I understand it is your first date in a long time, and you deserve it, but I don’t know. I am just really worried for you, that’s all,” I say sincerely.

“I know you’re trying to look out for me, but just trust me. If I had to be honest though,” her eyes flickers towards me in the mirror, “I really hope this works out.”

I swallow a burden down my throat, cringing. “I hope so, too.” 

Sooyoung circles around to check herself out. “This one looks nice. Should I wear this one?” She smooths down the dress.

I nod. “When are you going?”

“It’s in a few days.”

“Already?”

“Yeah. I guess Mrs. Jung is really eager for me to move on.” She escapes out a nervous laugh.

my lips, I cough to get her attention. “So,” I struggle to ask, “what happens if the date goes well?”

“We’ll most likely go on another one.”

“And does Jungsu know yet?”

Her expression immediately turns into a frown, while her shoulders slump into defeat. “No,” she gulps.

I give a surprise look. “What?!” 

It was her cue to let out a heavy exhale at the mention of her son.

“You’re going on this date in a few days, and yet you haven’t even told Jungsu?”

“I was planning on telling him!” She argues back.

“When? Last second, the day before you go? So then he would have no choice, but to it up?” I bit my tongue from saying more. 

“Are you sure you’re fine with letting me go, because right now, you sound like you’re against me going?” Her eyes glower through me, waiting for my answer as I just gaze hardly at her.

At that moment, I had realized something was wrong with me. Why was I acting like I should stop this blind date? I should be thrilled like a good best friend should, but why does my words say different? I am especially should be encouraging her to go because then Jungkook won’t have to know about Jungsu. The image of Joohyun and Seungwan pops in my mind, when we agreed that we have to do everything in our power to make sure Jungkook and Sooyoung do not meet. 

I blink, suddenly conflicted with myself, until I forgot Joy’s question. 

“O-of course not!” I stammer. 

“Then why are you acting so wary?”

“Because then I can see the cycle happening again…If you don’t tell Jungsu about this, then he would be more devastated than he was. You might not want chaos, but by keeping something this important from him until the very last second, makes everything worse. You’re adding more fuel to the fire, and he’s your son—he deserves to know.”

I have an intense eye competition with her as she showed no sign of emotion on her cold face. She scowls at me, trying to find words to snap back. Like switching off a light, she instantly breaks down, her body finally giving up on her. Her facade cracks like a shattered mirror when tears prickle her eyes. 

Stun, I blankly watch her, while silent sobs echo in my ears. Instantly, worry washes over me and I rush over to comfort her.

“Joy!"

“I hate myself,” Sooyoung mutters, teardrops staining her face. 

“Don’t you say that!”

“No matter what I do, everything seems to be ruined. Mrs. Jung says this could make me happy, yet how could I be happy if my own son would despise me? I can’t do anything right!” She lectures herself, causing her to cry harder.

I hush her up, soothing down her back. “No, Sooyoung that’s not it. You’re a great a mother.”

“Yeah, right.” Her voice drips in bitter and sarcasm,.

“An 18-year-od managed to raise a baby for 4 year all on her own without the help of the father. In most cases, no young mothers would be able to do that.”

She sniffles. “Because I had you guys.”

“No,” I oppose her, “it’s because you were strong. Your love for Jungsu was so beyond, you did everything you could take to take care of him. We were just there to remind you who you are, and you should be proud that.” I gently wipe her wet face, pouting on my friend’s sadness. “You need to remind yourself nobody is perfect. You may not be the best mom in the world, but that doesn’t matter. It’s all about how much you’re willing to go to show your love to him, and I’m telling you, you’re doing a fantastic job.” 

She didn’t say anything as her bottom lip continues to quiver. 

“Stop crying,” I demand her. “You don’t want to ruin your dress, and it would be a shame to see your beautiful face drowned in tears.” 

She lets out a little laugh. “Thank you, Seulgi unnie.”

I sigh, embracing her into my arms. “That’s what close friends are for, aren’t they?”

When we finished shopping, we went inside a small café, to settle ourselves in and chat more.

“So,” Sooyoung stirs her coffee with a spoon, “I was thinking that you were right—more than right, actually. Jungsu needs to know about”—she motions a movement with her hand—“all of this. The problem is, I have no idea how to tell him because ironically, yesterday we made a promise.”

“I can’t guarantee that Jungsu would be okay after you tell him, but maybe there is a chance he will understand. I don’t about you, but this past month, he’s changed.”

Sooyoung chuckles. “Yeah, definitely. He appears to be more lighthearted now than he was before. It’s must be because of that guy he’s been hanging out.”

I lightly shot up in my seat, my seat screams out a cry at the sudden movement. “O-oh, t-that guy.”

Sooyoung shakes her head, playfully. “It’s sorta funny. Jungsu is trying to pair me up with him.”

I almost spit out my beverage right into her face. The napkin my hand rushingly grabs, covers my mouth as I cough. 

“Are you okay?!”

“Never better..It’s just Jungsu. Did he really?” My mouth hangs wide open.

“He did. He kep