Junsu had anticipated this. He had known it would happen. He had known beyond a shadow of a doubt that it would happen.

He just hadn’t expected it to happen like this. Not on camera. And certainly not in the presence of other people.

But that was his hyung-deul. They were always sending him into a tail spin. Just when he thought he had figured them out, they did something completely weird and crazy, and he would be back to square one. For ’s sake, he had known them for what felt like a lifetime. And yet, every so often it was like he was meeting complete strangers. Junsu wished they would stop. He wished they would be normal. He was getting too old to play these games.

Just…why? Why did they have to make his life hard? He hadn’t done anything to them to deserve this kind of hassle.

I should leave the band, he thought, but immediately dismissed it. If he wasn’t there to act as a buffer between Jaejoong and Yoochun and the rest of the world….He shuddered to think of what might happen.

“It would be chaos,” he said to one of his cats. Was it Leo? They were all starting to look the same.

The-cat-that-might-be-Leo rolled his (her?) eyes in Junsu’s direction then sighed, as though commiserating with Junsu. The cat then uttered a plaintive meow.

“You’re right,” Junsu said. “They do need an intervention.”

-----

“This is an intervention.”

Jaejoong and Yoochun looked up at him from their spot on the floor. Junsu resisted the urge to collapse to the floor in early defeat. Jaejoong had that dopey look in his eyes he got when he was drunk. Yoochun had that dopey smile on his face he got when Jaejoong was drunk. Because Jaejoong was a clingy drunk, and Yoochun liked that.

“Seriously,” Junsu said and waved a hand between himself and the two idiots lounging on the floor. “Is it necessary for Jaejoong’s face to be in your crotch?”

“Yoochun is a big fluffy pillow,” Jaejoong said dreamily.

“I will always be your pillow,” Yoochun said.

“Oh my God, just stop,” Junsu said and collapsed on the couch. “Do you realize what you did today? Do you?”

Jaejoong cocked his head to the side and stared at Junsu dumbly. “We did filming today?”

Junsu pinched the bridge of his nose to stave off the headache that was starting to pound behind his eyeballs. “Yes, very good. What did you do during filming?”

Jaejoong scrunched up his nose and closed his eyes tight. Thinking was not his strong suit when he was figuratively swimming in a sea of soju. Yoochun, ever Jaejoong’s Knight in Shining Armor, came to his rescue.

“Well, I remember waking you up in the morning. And then I--”

Junsu couldn’t wait for Yoochun to finish his train of thought. “YOU PRACTICALLY TOLD THE WORLD YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH JAEJOONG!”

“You need your brain checked, Junsu. I don’t love Jaejoongie.”

“Yeah, Junsu. We’re just soulmates,” Jaejoong said.

Junsu stared at them for a few seconds then he closed his eyes, hard, and counted to one hundred. Please let this be a dream, he thought. I swear I might kill one of them.

When he opened his eyes, they were still there. But not in the position he had left them in. In the short time it had taken him to count to one hundred, Jaejoong had settled back down on the floor and was once again using Yoochun as his personal body pillow. Only this time, instead of resting his head on Yoochun’s lap, it was resting on Yoochun’s chest. One of Jaejoong’s arms was flung across Yoochun’s waist. One of his legs was between Yoochun’s. Yoochun had one hand resting on Jaejoong’s hip, and the other was playing with Jaejoong’s hair.

And Yoochun was kissing Jaejoong on the forehead.

And Junsu exploded.

“IDIOTS! YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS. YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY SO STUPIDLY IN LOVE. AND I MEAN. IT ISN’T EVEN A CUTE SORT OF LOVE. IT’S JUST. GOOEY. YOU GUYS ARE GOOEY. LIKE ING CHOCOLATE-CHIP COOKIES. YOU GUYS MAKE MY TEETH ROT JUST LOOKING AT YOU. I CAN’T LOOK AT YOU ANYMORE.” Junsu spun on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him.

“Junsu just swore,” Jaejoong said into Yoochun’s skin.

“Must be pretty serious,” Yoochun said into Jaejoong’s hair.

“I guess he could be right. I mean. I guess I do sorta love you.”

“Yeah. I guess I sorta love you too.”

“I’m not gooey, am I?” Jaejoong asked, concerned.

“Your hair is kind of gooey.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Yoochun said and dropped another kiss on Jaejoong’s forehead.

-----

It was Junsu’s turn to wake them up. He tiptoed quietly into the living room--they weren’t there. His stomach dropped into his bottom, and he cursed his luck.

Please oh please oh PLEASE let them be clothed, he thought to himself. Steeling his courage, he pushed Jaejoong’s bedroom door open and then promptly slammed it shut again.

What have I done? he asked himself, and then prayed to God he would be able to erase the image of Jaejoong riding Yoochun out of his head.