Six months has passed since the breakup with Jia and there was never a day that went by without Fei missing her. Every time she comes home to the empty apartment, the apartment that once contained the best memories of her life, it hurts her.

She sighs and drags herself into the room after a long day of recording at the studio. She throws herself on the bed, wanting to go to sleep immediately but decides to take a shower first. She lets the hot water run down her body, relaxing. 

The sleepiness is gone after she steps out of the shower, feeling refreshed instead. She walks to the kitchen and grabs the small tub of yogurt in the fridge before sitting down on the couch in the living room.

We got this couch because you said you wanted us to decorate it.

Her eyes are now fixed on the random drawings on the couch. She realizes more than three-quarter of the couch was drawn by Jia.

I was never here most of the time to do this with you.

She sighs again and puts another spoonful of yogurt in .

How are you, anyway?

Afraid that she will miss her too much, Fei has not been checking on Jia’s various social networking accounts. But tonight, curiosity gets the better of her as she picks up her phone that was next to her. She clicks on the application with the camera icon and types Jia’s username in the search bar.

I see you haven’t changed your username.

She starts scrolling through Jia’s feed, making sure not to double tap the photos by accident.

You have bangs now. Cute.

She continues scrolling until one particular photo catches her eye. It’s a photo of Jia and Suji. She clicks it and the photo comes with the caption “I’m so thankful for you. I love you.”

You’re really dating her now huh?

She feels a sting in her heart. She scrolls down further and sees more photos of them. After the tenth photo, she quits the application knowing that she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

At least you’re happy now.

===

“Hey, sorry I’m late.”

“No worries, oppa.”

“How are you?”

“Same old, same old,” Jia sips her iced latte. “How about you, oppa? Busy with producing?”

“Yeah, just came from a studio. My head’s about to explode.”

The waiter takes Zhoumi’s order.

“I heard you’re enrolled back in school?”

Jia gives a nod. “Thought it would be good to further improve myself.”

“Nice.” Zhoumi thanks the waiter who brought his coffee before looking back at Jia. “What major?”

“Fashion design.”

“Still the fashionista I see.”

“Can’t help it. It’s in my blood.”

Zhoumi laughs. “When do you start?”

“In two weeks.”

“Excited?”

“Quite. I’ve been cooped up at home for way too long.”

Zhoumi gives a small smile. He knows that the last few months had been really hard for Jia and that the girl is still not over Fei. It was terrible for the first month when Jia refused to step outside her house and barely ate. She lost so much weight that Zhoumi started to resent Fei for whatever the latter did, but he felt bad after confronting Fei and making her confess to everything. He understood Fei only did what she did for Jia. He silently wishes that his two best friends will get back together again, knowing that they still love each other as much as before.

A familiar song starts playing in the café. Jia frowns slightly and bites her lower lip when she hears Fei’s voice.

“I met her in the studio the other day.”

“Oh?” Jia looks at Zhoumi. “How is she?”

“Lost quite a lot of weight like you. She’s preparing an album I think.”

Jia merely nods.

“Do you still miss her?”

“Would be lying if I said no but does it matter?” Jia faked a chuckle. “It’s all over.”

“Jia-ah…”

“I’m fine, oppa. Don’t worry.”

Jia continues sipping her coffee while Zhoumi sighs, knowing that his best friend is anything but fine on the inside.

===

It is the day of their supposedly anniversary. Fei decides to go out, feeling too depressed at home.

She starts driving around and the next thing she realizes; she is at the place where their relationship started.

Why am I here?

Despite knowing it will hurt more if she gets out of the car, she couldn’t help but want to relieve the times that are buried deep in her heart.

Just for today.

She steps out of the car after putting on her trucker cap and mask. She goes to the swing that holds many of their memories. Thoughts of how they started, how they fought, how they made up at this swing come rushing into her mind. She holds back her tears desperately, not allowing herself to cry.

She takes a deep breath to calm herself when she saw a familiar figure standing meters away from where she is.

Is that… you?

She squints her eyes, trying to take a closer look. The figure moves and the light from the lamppost shines on her.

Jia…

Fei holds her breath.

Did you come here because it’s our anniversary too?

About a minute later, another figure approaches Jia. She sees Suji wrapping her arm around Jia’s waist and Jia smiling.

I missed your smile.

She continues watching the duo until they start walking away, getting further away from Fei. She lets her tears fall, too tired to fight them.

I guess this is really the end. I hope you’ll always smile like just now. Be happy, Jia. I’ll learn to be happy too.

===

Jia is working on her assignment while listening to the radio. She hums along to the song that is playing.

“Hello, you’re currently tuned in to One FM and this is your favorite DJ Soonkyu. I have a special guest with me today and I’ll get her to introduce herself right now.”

“Hi everyone, this is Fei. Nice to meet you all.”

Jia stops typing and freezes. It has been slightly more than a year since the last time she saw Fei. She skips everything with Fei, from television programs to Fei’s songs, except those unavoidable times when they played on the streets, afraid of the hurt she will feel all over again. She wanted to switch radio channels, but she is also desperate to listen to Fei’s voice again. She decides to not switch it.

“Congratulations on your new album, Fei!” DJ Soonkyu exclaimed. “I’ve heard it and it’s really good. I need a physical copy of it.”

“Thank you. I’ve actually prepared one for you right here.”

“Wow, it’s even signed with a message. I’ll be sure to read that. Thank you so much for this.”

“It’s my honor to give you my album, sunbaenim.”

“Don’t say that, you’re making me shy,” DJ Soonkyu joked. “I heard there’s a song inside that you composed?”

“Yes, I tried submitting my lyrics to the company and it surprisingly got accepted. It’s the first time so I was really nervous about it and thankfully, the song came out well. Thank you producers.”

“First time passing? This must be a really memorable song then.”

“It is, and the lyrics are quite personal, deepening its meaning to me.”

“Can we get a live snippet of it?”

“Now?”

“Yes, if it’s okay with you.”

“Ah, of course it is.”

Fei clears before she starts singing.

If you and me become estranged someday
If we could never meet each other
Don’t forget

Don’t lose

Even if you are holding other’s hand
If you are at somewhere I cannot go
Don’t forget

Don’t lose

“I’ll just sing up to here. Do check out the song if you like it.”

“That’s an amazing song. Don’t you agree, listeners? Be sure to check out Fei’s album because I’ll swear with my career, it’s something not to miss.”

“Now that’s a huge responsibility for me, sunbaenim.”

“Don’t worry, people will definitely like it as much as I did.”

“Thank you.”

Jia is still in shock from the song Fei sang. She opens a new tab and searches for the song online, listening to the lyrics carefully.

Tears are streaming down her cheeks by the time she finishes the song. She lets go of the emotions she has been trying to lock for a year.

===

Fei drags herself lazily to the door, hands ruffling her hair, half-frustrated at the endless knocks. She opens it without giving any thought.

“Hi.”

Her eyes grow bigger in shock as she looks at the person at the door.

“Can I come in or is it not a good time?”

“N-no.” Fei opens the door. “Come in.”

Jia steps into the apartment she moved out from more than a year ago. She is relieved to see that nothing has changed at all.

“You haven’t changed a thing in here.”

“Yeah, I like it just the way it is.” Although the best is when you’re still living here.

“How are you?”

“G-good,” Fei said. “You?”

“Not really.”

“O-oh.”

“You know I’m not good at beating around the bush so I’ll cut to the chase, Fei.” Jia turns to the now-surprised Fei. “I heard the song you sang this afternoon on the radio.”

“Oh.”

“Who was the song for?”

Fei remains silent.

“Is it for me?” Jia asks again.

Fei doesn’t reply.

“Answer me.”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes.”

Fei sighs. “Yes, it’s for you.”

Jia grabs Fei’s face and kisses her forcefully, pinning Fei to the wall. It took several pushes from Fei to finally be able to break free.

“Stop it!”

“Why? You still love me, don’t you?”

Jia tries grabbing Fei again, only to be stopped by the latter.

“And so? It doesn’t matter. Not anymore, Jia. You’re happy now and that’s what matters.”

“Do I look happy to you?” Jia looks at Fei. “Do I?”

Fei sees the mellow eyes. Her heart hurts.

“Stop saying things like this when you don’t even know what I really feel.” Jia’s voice is shaky. “Stop acting like you know what’s best for me when you don’t.”

Fei feels the tear rising to her eyes.

“Are you happy?”

“W-what?”

“I asked you if you’re happy.”

Fei doesn’t know what to reply.

“And answer me truthfully, Fei. I think I deserve the truth from you.”

“I am as long as you are.”

“But I’m not happy.” Jia looks at Fei. “I’ll never be, not for at least the next few years.”

“B-but… You look…”

“I look what?”

“You look happy,” Fei finally says. “On your Instagram. With Suji.” She mutters the last two words. “Just realized I haven’t congratulated you. Congrats.”

 “You think I’m with her? Is that what it is?” Jia sighs. “I’m not dating her. I’m not, I never had and I never will. She’s just a friend, Fei.”

“W-what?”

“I haven’t dated anyone since you broke up with me.”

“W-what?”

“I still love you.”

“W-what?”

“Goddammit Fei, say something else besides what.”

“I…”

“I can’t move on and that’s why I’m here. And I’m not leaving until we get this sorted out, no matter how it will end. I demand at least a proper closure. You’ve tortured me enough for the past year and I think I deserve at least that if a break up is what you want.”

Fei’s mind is in a mess. Do I say the truth about what I feel? I want her back, but I can’t promise her anything. What if it ends up the same way a few months later? What if she isn’t happy? What if I can’t make her happy?

As though she read her mind, Jia starts talking again.

“I’m here knowing what’s in it, if that’s what you’re worried about. We’ve been through this and I know what I’m getting into. Again. But I’m prepared for it.”

Fei couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“I still love you.”

“What?”

“I still love you, Jia. Though I’m sure you already know from the song,” Fei confesses. “I can’t move on. I tried my best but I couldn’t.”

Jia smiles. “Glad to know I’ve tortured you just as much.”

“I deserve that.”

“That you do. This wouldn’t have happened if not for you.”

“I’m sorry. I really am.”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Jia brings Fei into her arms.

“I don’t deserve you.” Fei breaks down. “You ought to be with someone who makes you happy.”

“But you’re that person so where else can I be?”

“W-what?” Fei sniffs and looks up. “What did you just say?”

“I’m only happy when I’m with you so there’s nowhere else I can be.” Jia Fei’s hair softly. “You always say I deserve to be happy it’s always you who make me the happiest, Fei.”

“But I’ve hurt you so many times, and those unfulfilled promises…”

“Yes, I may be hurt whenever you cancel on our dates but it doesn’t last. I’m happy with just having you by my side so will you please take me back?”

Fei lets out a chuckle amidst of the crying. “I should be the one begging you to take me back.”

“I’ll take you back anytime.”

Jia closes the gap between them. Fei leans in and places a kiss on Jia’s lips while Jia’s hand goes to the back of Fei’s head, deepening it.

“Thank you for taking me back,” Fei whispers in between the kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too. Now stop talking. This is way too overdue.”

“Yes, mam.”

***

A/N: Hi everyone! I know this is way too overdue and to be honest, I completely forgot about it and was going to chuck it aside but welp, finally got my to it. I hope it isn't disappointing and thank you for showing interest in this two-shot. I don't think I'll be writing anymore miss A fanfics from now on (considering their situation right now haha but I'm still a huge fan and if anyone is interested in being friends, I'm @XCVIXXV on Twitter!) so this is sort of the last. I'm still writing though and if anyone's a fan of snsd, you can check out the one-shot thread I have via my profile. It was fun while it lasted and thank you once again for your interest and positive comments. See you guys around!