Skinship
Just a Feeling (Wenrene/Sonbae Collection)
Wendy knows that Irene likes skinship. A little too much, she thinks. And she's quite bothered by it. Not because Irene casually holds Joy's hand or links arms with Seulgi. No, Wendy wasn't jealous (at least, this is what she tells herself). Wendy was bothered because whenever Irene does skinship with her it makes her feel things that she knows she shouldn't be feeling towards a friend, or towards a fellow member that she's supposed to be working professionally with. They were in the same group and, sure, skinship was required from time to time for fanservice. But if Irene continues to hold her hand more intimately whenever they're on stage or whisper compliments in her ear more suggestively or pull her gently by the waist to keep their proximity closer, then Wendy doesn't know how long she can hold back whatever this foreign feeling was.
"Come on, Wendy."
And there she goes again. Holding Wendy by the hand, leading her out of the van as they head towards the studio. The butterflies in the pit of Wendy's stomach are in a frenzy again and she tries her best to calm them down and regain her composure. Seulgi and Joy walk ahead of them with linked arms and Wendy wonders why all of their members are fond of skinship with each other and why it's only with Irene that she feels different.
Irene seemingly decides to change her hand's position and links arms with Wendy instead, pulling the younger girl closer to her side. The semi-blue haired girl is suddenly aware of the media's camera flashes around them and slightly ducks her head to hide her face under her red Chicago Bulls snapback.
When they finally get inside the building, Irene lets go of her hand and Wendy sighs - half in relief and half in disappointment. However, she temporarily forgets about Irene and the warmth of her hand for a moment when one of their managers calls for their attention.
"Alright girls, I'm sure you've already been informed that you'll be recording another performance for KBS Music Bank today."
The four girls nod.
"Oppa, what's next on our schedule after this?" Seulgi asks.
"You have a radio show scheduled for Lee Sora's Music Plaza. Your previous radio shows have been good so far. Keep it up, alright?"
"Yes, manager oppa," the group answers simultaneously.
"Good. Now get to the dressing room and be ready in an hour for recording."
As their group heads towards the backstage, Irene immediately grabs the nearest member's hand which happens to be Joy's. Wendy pretends not to notice and stuffs her own hands in her pockets. Although the warmth she feels isn't the same - isn't the one she's longing for - she's thankful that the crazed butterflies in her stomach have seemed to calm down.
For now, at least.
---
"Thank you for your hard work!"
Recording was finally over and the members of Red Velvet were bowing to their supervisors and seniors and the rest of the staff as they got down from the stage. As usual, Irene clings onto someone and right now her victim is Seulgi. Her hands hold onto Seulgi's shoulders as the taller girl heads first towards their dressing room, eager to change into casual clothes. She walks faster, dragging Irene who tries to match Seulgi's pace. As the duo walk ahead of the group, Wendy trails behind, along with Joy who has noticed her unnie's rather grim expression.
"Unnie," Joy says as she reaches for Wendy's hand and holds it.
Sooyoung's hand feels different, Wendy thinks to herself. It's much softer than Irene's and a bit bigger compared to their leader's bony hand. Joy's hand is the kind of hand that makes you feel protected and safe. It's nice to hold but it isn't the same as the one that Wendy's looking for.
"Are you okay, Wendy unnie?" Joy asks.
"Huh? Of course I am, Sooyoung. Why do you ask?"
"Well, for a moment you were looking kinda...um...I don't know. Zoned out, I guess?"
"Oh... It's nothing. I'm fine," Wendy smiles and reassures the maknae.
When the two girls enter the dressing room, they are greeted by Seulgi and Irene who are talking to each other. Seulgi must have said a funny joke because Irene laughs and playfully slaps Seulgi's arm while holding onto one of the younger girl's hands.
Trying to remain unfazed, Wendy nonchalantly passes by them and grabs the bag containing her casual clothing. She excuses herself from the group to change her clothes.
There's an unsettling feeling in Wendy's stomach but she's sure that it isn't because of the pancakes she ate for breakfast this morning, and it isn't because of the crazy butterflies either. It's something else. And Wendy doesn't know what to make of it.
---
It's already past midnight when they arrive home. It's been another long day of recording and another radio show, and all the four members are thankful that they're finally back in their dorm. Joy and Seulgi walk straight to the kitchen to raid whatever food they may find in the refrigerator. Wendy makes a mental note to herself to go grocery shopping on their free day to restock their supply before the two shikshins of their group finish it all. But right now, Wendy opts to head straight to their bedroom to get some decent rest. When the blue-haired girl lets herself fall on the bed she drapes an arm over her eyes and lets out a long sigh.
Wendy knows that the life of an idol wasn't easy. She already expected this to happen and knew what she was getting herself into the moment she signed the contract under SM Entertainment when she became a trainee two years ago. She's happy that they finally debuted but she thinks that she still needs to get used to this kind of lifestyle full of schedules and events. They have just begun and they still have a long way to go. It's definitely not easy but she knows she can do it.
Suddenly, Wendy hears the door creak and a pair of shuffling feet. Wendy lifts up her arm a little to see who it is and finds Irene walking towards her bed.
"Hey," Irene smiles. "Joy and Seulgi are preparing some midnight snacks. Do you want to eat?"
Wendy shakes her head and places her arm over her eyes again. "I'm not hungry, unnie."
She feels the bed sheets shift when another weight slowly sits beside her.
"You know, sometimes I'm worried about your dieting habits, Seungwan."
Wendy isn't looking but she can tell that Irene was frowning. It was so typical of her to use Wendy's Korean name in moments like this. It makes Wendy feel younger than she actually is. She feels like a child being lectured by a parent.
"I still eat normally, Joohyun unnie," Wendy replies, using Irene's own Korean name. "I just don't eat as much as I used to. I have to keep an eye on my weight."
"Still, that doesn't make me worry any less."
Wendy chuckles, "And everyone says I'm the mother of the group."
"You're always taking care of all of us. Someone needs to take care of you too."
Wendy is thankful that her arm is hiding her face because she doesn't want Irene to see the pink blush radiating in her cheeks.
"But really, Seungwan, I'm worried about you."
"I'm just tired," the younger girl groans.
Slender and cold fingers start to brush away the strands of hair on her forehead and Wendy immediately relaxes at the soothing touch.
"You should rest," the leader says in a motherly tone. "You've been getting the least sleep from all of us."
Wendy removes her arm and opens her eyes. She's surprised to see how close Irene actually is. The older girl's head is tilted and hovers over Wendy's slightly, the pink ombre hair falling over the frame of her face like a black and pink waterfall. Their faces are so close that Wendy can almost see the tiredness (and was that longing?) in Irene's eyes. Wendy starts thinking about Irene and her habit of skinship again.
"Irene unnie?"
"Hmm?" Irene hums in reply, her fingers still mindlessly playing with Wendy's hair as if she was a kitten playing with a ball of yarn.
"Why do you always do skinship?"
Irene's fingers suddenly stop moving. Wendy pouts when the older girl hesitantly pulls back her hand.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I did that often."
Wendy sits up so that she's facing Irene at eye level. "You shouldn't apologize. There's nothing wrong with skinship. I was just wondering why you do it most of the time."
Irene curls her fingers into a small fist and lays her hands gently on her lap.
"I honestly don't know. I just really like it, I guess. My friends say I've always been touchy even when I was younger."
Wendy nods and resists the urge to lift her hand to caress Irene's soft cheek to ease out the small frown forming on the leader's face.
"But I think it could also be because I'm yearning for a lover's touch..." Irene shyly admits with a nervous chuckle. Wendy swears that she saw a tinge of pink on Irene's cheeks before the older girl looked away.
Was that supposed to mean anything? Wendy thinks.
"I became a trainee at the age of nineteen. And I'm sure you know that trainees aren't allowed to date. It's written on the contract we signed. For five years I only focused on training and practice and perfecting my skills. I worked so hard for this. But sometimes...it feels so lonely that I just wanted someone to hold me, to be with me. And now I'm twenty four years old, I'm nearing the age where people should be dating. But, of course, the company still won't allow me to date, especially since we just recently debuted."
"You said on Cultwo Show yesterday that you don't have an ideal type," Wendy points out.
"Not having an ideal type doesn't mean I don't want to date."
"Oh..." Wendy says quietly because she doesn't have anything else better to say so she thinks of another topic to talk about. "I realized that you're talking more on radio shows now. That's a good thing."
"I was just really nervous during the first one. You saw how much I stuttered," Irene frowns.
"It's probably normal since it's the first time we did it. I was nervous too."
"You didn't seem like you were."
"That's because I talked a lot. I always talk too much whenever I feel nervous and when that happens, most of the things I say sound stupid and random."
"That's not true. You were funny during our first radio show."
"Not to everyone, apparently," Wendy thinks, remembering how one of their managers warned her about how being too spontaneous can be a bad thing.
"Well, you're funny to me."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"It's a good thing. You always make me laugh."
Irene is smiling when she says this and Wendy can't help but smile too.
"Unnie?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you...do you really feel lonely sometimes?"
Irene hums, pulling her knees to her chest so she could hug them. "Just sometimes, but not always. The moments when the four of us practice our dance routine, or perform on stage, or just hang out together to have fun - those are the times I never feel lonely. I know that I have you guys. And that's when I feel happy and content."
Wendy smiles at the thought that they are able to make Irene feel that way. "I'm also glad when I'm with you guys. You're the only thing closest to family that I have here in Korea."
Irene frowns slightly and instinctively reaches for Wendy's hand. "You probably feel lonelier that I do. Your family's all the way back in Canada. I'm sure you must really miss them so much."
Wendy lies back down on the bed and grabs the nearest pillow to hug for comfort. "I miss them terribly."
"Don't worry," Irene starts to Wendy's hair again. "You have the three of us here. We'll be your family and you'll always have us with you."
"Thank you, Joohyun unn- "
But just before Wendy is able to finish a proper thank you, she feels a pair of soft lips on her forehead. The butterflies in her stomach are going beyond haywire this time and Wendy uses the pillow to hide her embarrassed face.
"Y-yah! Why d-did you do that?"
Irene chuckles before plopping herself down beside Wendy and sighs in content.
"I like all forms of skinship. But kissing would have to be my favorite."
"That wasn't a proper kiss though," Wendy blurts out before she can filter her thoughts. After realizing what she just said, Wendy silently berates herself and hopes that Irene didn't hear her.
But Irene lifts her upper body and leans on her arms for support so that she can see Wendy's face even though the latter refuses to look at her.
"What would be a proper kiss for you then?" Irene inquires with a smirk.
Crap. She heard me, Wendy thinks. She doesn't know how to deal with this situation so she does the first thing that comes to her mind.
"This!"
A soft pillow instantly comes in contact with Irene's face with such force that she falls on her back.
"Yah!" Irene screams in protest.
But just when she was about to retaliate, a pair of strong hands pin down her wrists on the bed and a figure looms over her defenseless body while a leg slides itself in between Irene's own legs. This time it's Irene who blushes when Wendy leans her head towards her ear.
"Joohyun unnie, I'm really tired. Can we just sleep now? Please?"
Irene timidly nods her head and regains her regular breathing when Wendy releases her.
Wendy returns to lying on her back and stares at the ceiling in disbelief. She can't believe that she actually just placed Irene and herself in such a compromising position. She didn't know what got into her. And it only made the butterflies in her stomach multiply even more, giving her a harder time to maintain it.
Wendy takes in a deep breath and finally closes her eyes. She tries to sleep but after ten minutes of tossing and turning, she realizes that she couldn't. Her mind still seems to be awake as it keeps on replaying the events that happened earlier.
Wendy has her back facing Irene so she calls out quietly to see if the older girl is still awake. "Unnie?"
"Yes, Wendy?" Suprisingly, she still is. And it seems like Irene was having a hard time falling asleep as well.
"Can you...uh..." Wendy is suddenly embarrassed of her request. She feels like a child again.
She senses Irene scoot closer. "What is it?"
"Can you...hold me to sleep?" Wendy finally asks.
For a moment, Irene doesn't say anything and Wendy immediately regrets asking such a request. But a pair of arms slide around the younger girl's waist, catching Wendy by surprise. Irene places her chin on Wendy's shoulder and softly starts to hum a vaguely familiar tune. A Korean lullaby, Wendy realizes. She recognizes the song but can't remember the title. Bu she doesn't try to remember anymore because all that matters is that Irene is the one humming it for her. Wendy lays her hands over Irene's and continues to listen. She finds peace in Irene's voice and Irene's warmth. And right now, with Irene humming a lullaby and holding her in her arms, Wendy doesn't want to be anywhere else but here.
When the song ends, silence engulfs the room, but it isn't suffocating. It was a pleasantly welcomed silence. The butterflies in Wendy's stomach are calm now but they're still fluttering around lazily, slowly, as if they, too, were about to fall asleep. It's only with Irene that the butterflies act up and Wendy thinks that she might know what it means but tells herself to figure it out tomorrow morning instead. All that she wants to focus on right now is the comfortable warmth that she feels whenever Irene does skinship with her.
"Joohyun unnie?" Wendy realizes that it's the fourth time she's called for Irene's attention using the word 'unnie'.
"Yes, Seungwan?" And it's the third time tonight that Irene calls her Seungwan.
"Did I ever tell you that I love backhugs?" Wendy says, her voice laced with drowsiness.
Irene gently holds Wendy closer and whispers softly into her ear, "I'll keep that in mind."
END
A/N: Yay~ So that's the first wenrene oneshot I've posted here. This really doesn't have much of a plot, to be honest. It feels more like a narrative essay-slash-long drabble. Not sure when I'll be able to finish the second wenrene oneshot but I've already started working on a third and it's almost done. Upvote if you liked this oneshot or comment your thoughts about it~ I'll update as soon as I can.
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