"So, what happened? Did you meet him? Did you meet Do Kyungsoo?" Soojung pried the moment she came back from work that afternoon. Soojung was waiting like a loyal pup, obviously aware of the inevitable. "Ya, Bae Suzy. Say something! I'm your best friend, you should tell me everything, especially hose involving Do Kyungsoo!" she whined when she was not getting the answers she wanted.

 

Suzy sprawled herself on the couch, totally looking exhausted with work. "Yeah, yeah I did. We talked about the party during lunch."

 

"You went on a lunch date?" Soojung exclaimed, suddenly looking like an overexcited puppy. Suzy gave her the look.

 

"We talked about the party. During lunch. That was not a lunch date." she said, looking twice as exhausted. Curse Soojung and her ridiculous thoughts.

 

"Yeah, so you went on a lunch date and then," her friend said, ignoring Suzy's remarks. The raven eyed girl figured that arguing with Soojung would only be a waste of energy and so she decided to let it go.

 

"Then nothing." she stood upright, reaching for the remote control and switching it on. She's been stressed out too much today, she needs her dose of cheesy romance dramas. "I told you Soojung, we just talked about the plans for our batch reunion and nothing else. That was the only reason we agreed to meet up."

 

Soojung gave her the judging stare. "Really, just pure business?"

 

"Uh-huh."

 

"No mentioning of past relationships?"

 

"Not one thing."

 

"No rekindling of past emotions and feelings?"

 

Suzy looked at her, "Absolutely none."

 

Soojung crossed her arms and let herself slump on the couch. "Well, did he at least tell you why he suddenly disappeared weeks after your confession?"

 

Suzy froze. It was already too late when Soojung realized what she said wrong. The girl looked at her friend and bit her lip. "I mean, did he you know uh—"

 

"No," Suzy said, straightening up. She already tore her gaze from her friend and is now focused on the drama she is watching. She shook her head slightly. "No he didn't tell me why." Suzy tried to at as casual as possible, as though Soojung hadn't mentioned the very question that lingered her mind for years. As though her heart wasn't breaking all over again.

 

"And why would he though? It's not like he owes me an explanation."

 

"But he does!" Soojung shouted which made Suzy turn her head towards the girl. "He can't just leave right after you told him you like him and then expect you to be okay with it."

 

"But I am okay with it. Okay, maybe Iwas not at first," she rephrased after Soojung gave her a skeptical look. "but it's been seven years Soojung. Seven years is a lot long time to be angry."

 

Soojung inched towards her and looked at her in the eye. Suzy flinches but lets her do so just the same. She knows it when Soojung has this look on her face. They often called it Real-Talk time when they were young and it seems like even now that theu grew up, the talk is not yet expired.

 

"You saw him again today," she started and Suzy nodded. It was always like this, Soojung would narrate what happened and Suzy will just listen and react upon whatever her friend says. Surprisingly, the talk always ends with Suzy realizing what her true feelings were. I told you, Soojung is the child of the devil.

 

"You talked," another nod.

 

"You saw him smile," nod.

 

"You smiled back," a pause, then a nod.

 

"Now tell me, tell me you aren't affected by him anymore. Tell me that after you saw him today, you can honestly say that you have moved on."

 

Suzy opened , took a breath and nodded. "Y-yeah. I'm totally over him Soojung."

 

Soojung sighed, there was a pause in Suzy's answer. It was faint, but it was there, and it was enough for Soojung. "You can pretend Suzy. It's not that hard to pretend in front of other people. But remember, at the end of the day, what is true will still remain to be true and what is false would still remain to be false. You can't lie to yourself forever." she held her friend's hand. "But that doesn't mean you'll never get over it. You just have to face it boldly, only then you'll know what to do next."

 

Soojung smiled before standing up and leaving Suzy with her cheesy romance drama and a pocketful of wisdom. She just sat there, listening to the rambling sound of Soojung preparing dinner in the kitchen and actors whispering sweet nothings from her tv. She sighed amd buried her face in her palms.

 

Suzy hates it when Soojung is right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suzy hates it that Jung Soojung is always right.

 

She hates it that when she tells her Kyungsoo would be contacting her days after, he really does. She hates it that when she tells her that doing the plan meeting on her house would be a good idea, she agrees. She hates it the most when one morning, she finds Kyungsoo's handsome face wearing that beautiful smile in front of her doorsteps asking her if he can come in.

 

"Sorry for the sudden intrusion, but Soojung said—"

 

"Soojung that little —" she whispered with gritted teeth. The moment she saw her friend awake and fully dressed at six in the morning she knew something was up. Soojung never wakes up before twelve. Ah, she should have known.

 

"Suzy? Is something wrong?" Kyungsoo asks, his wide eyes becoming even wider with confusion. Suzy shook her head and chuckled.

 

"No, sorry." she pushed her door more open and gestured for the man to come in.

 

Suzy mentally hits herself when she realized she didn't clean the house. Dirty dishes in the sink, paperworks from work all over the place. Oh, just the more reason to plot for Jung Soojung's assasination.

 

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were coming so I haven't really got the chance to clean the house." Kyungsoo just smiled at her as he take a swift glance around the house. Suzy almost awwed out loud. At twenty three, the boy could still pull off the cute look better than most boys in the face of the earth.

 

"It's fine. It's a lot cleaner than mine actually, you can just imagine the look on Sulli's face when she goes home and see what a mess our house is."

 

Warning bells tingle inside Suzy's head. Sulli? Who is Sulli? Sulli is most definitely a girl's name. A girlfriend? And, they are living together? Suzy ignored the pang in her chest and continued to act like she's not affected or anything, cause she's not. You hear me?

 

She's not.

 

"Lucky for you, you have someone to clean up the house for you." pushing it would be painful, but Suzy finds herself pushing it much deeper.

 

"Yeah," she could see adoration in Kyungsoo's eyes as he smiles. "I am kind of lucky to have her, though all she does is pester me. Having her beside me is nice." he says.

 

Clack. Hear that? It's Suzy's heart, breaking all over again...

 

Suzy immediately turned around and went straight to the kitchen, keeping herself busy, using snacks as an excuse to be away from the man. No he can't see her like this, cause him seeing her in the verge of tears is definitely not in the way towards moving on.

 

Idiot, of course he would find someone else. Suzy tells herself as she stock cookies from the cookie jar into fancy plates while trying hard not to sob. It hurts. After all these years, it still hurts. And it is so ing unfair.

 

Suzy thinks that the world is really against her when she realizes that this man in front of her is still the Do Kyungsoo that the fifteen year old Bae Suzy had fallen in love with. He's still the same responsible, smart man who always gives his best in everything he do. He still has the most amazing smile that makes her heart skip a million beats. He's still the same boy with the voice that drew her to him seven years ago.

 

It's happening all over again and Suzy thinks she must be crazy because after all these years, she is still completely in love with Do Kyungsoo.

 

She finds out that being in love with the same man for seven lobg years could be really painful, especially if the feeling is not mutual. She sees herself crying over a broken heart all over again when this Sulli girl calls the man in the middle of their meeting for the batxh reunion.

 

She sees it in his smile and in the complete adoration in his voice as he spoke to her. He sees it in that glint in his eyes as he laughs at one of the girl's jokes. She sees it at the slight chuckle when he ends the call. Suzy sees it all, and it pains her to think that all she can do is smile and try hard not to cry.

 

"Sorry, that's Sulli. She asks me if I can come home now," he says. It was not actually a question. No, he's not asking for a permission. It was like Sulli needs me and so I need to go. No spaces for other options, and Suzy sees it alal. Which is why she nods and escorts him outside her door. That pathetic smile still plastered on her face.

 

"It was good seeing you again Suzy, and thank you for welcoming me at your home."

 

Suzy finds it hard for her to say anything and so she just nods. She thinks Kyungsoo sees it, basing on the unconscious fidgets in his feet and she thinks it would bebad for him to see through her and so she flashes her best fake smile and tries to swallow the lump in throat because Do Kyungsoo already has a girlfriend and that girlfriend is waiting for him at home; there is no way Suzy can be okay with that.

 

"It's alright, I'm sorry for the mess though. I'll clean it up before our next meeting."

 

"So, you mean, I can come by again?" the tone in his voice can easily be taken as anticipation, but Suzy knows better.

 

"Yeah, of course. I mean, we should talk about the batch reunion and doing meetings on coffee shops could really be a hassle so," Suzy said in one breath. Kyungsoo's face visibly falls at this and Suzy bites back the thought that he's disappointed cause why would he? It is the only reason why they are even meeting up in the first place right? It's not like they are doing this to just hang out and have some fun time together.

 

"Of course, the party. Well, I'll see you later then. Lock the doors, you'll never know when a burglar would come." Suzy gently smiled at this. Do Kyungsoo, always the nice guy, making girls like Suzy get the wrong idea since 1993.

 

"I will. Go on now. Sulli must be waiting for you." there she is again, pushing the wall that shouldn't be pushed.

 

"Yeah, she uhm, she probably is." and at that, he bade goodbye.

 

Suzy closed the door gently, afraid to make a sound. She hates the sound of creaking doors beneath silent walls just like how she hates the sound of her own heart breaking with her totally powerless to stop it.

 

But Suzy doesn't cry. She thinks it may be seven years too late for that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eventhough she doesn't let herself cry to herself that night, that doesn't mean she can't cry to her best friend the next day. And that is exactly what Suzy did the moment Soojung entered the house with a bang. She crashed herself into her friend's arms and sobbed loudly (Jongin might be there the whole time but Suzy isn't too sure. She's busy letting her heart out and Jongin just seemed to elope in the middle of everything.)

 

"He has someone else Soojung, it's too late. He already has someone else." she sobbed frantically as her friend pat her back hopefully bringing comfort to the devastated Suzy.

 

It's not like she haven't seen it coming, it actually occured to Suzy that of course, Kyungsoo is an attractive and a very nice man. There is no way he wouldn't find someone in those seven years. But thinking about it, and hearing it with her own two ears isn't exactly the same.

 

She was waiting for Soojung's words of wisdom. Waiting for her to somehow say that everything is going to be fine. That sooner or later, the pain is going to fade away but she got nothing. Soojung offered nothing but a warm hug and a smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soojung told her that now thhat she's finally admitted that she's still stupidly in love with Do Kyungsoo, it's time to take a step and get a move on.

 

Suzy thinks it's a good idea, given the fact that it has been seven long years for crying out loud and well, Kyungsoo already has a Sulli (Suzy spends the nights wondering what could have been if the last syllable of Sulli's name change into something else. Maybe something like -gi or -ni or better yet -zy)

 

But when she finds herself in cramped inside a car with none other than Do Kyungsoo and his dashing profile behind the wheels, she thinks this is nowhere near the train of letting go.

 

It would be alright, she said. Your feelings would disappear the more you spend time with him, she said. Plus the catering restaurant needs to be finalized and the venue is still undecided and as planners for the party, you two should work on it. The truth has come out. That assassination plot is getting more and more detailed as time passes by.

 

"You know what, I wonder why Soojung doesn't help in organizing the event. She's been too involved with us two and everything but," Kyungsoo said while keeping his eyes on the road. Suzy shot him a look and smiled, he does look attractive dressed in his casual clothes and his hair not styled up. It reminds her of their high school days. Nope, this is definitely not heading towards unbroke-thy-hearts ville.

 

"She's been too busy with her Jonginnie lately so I don't think she actually has the time."

 

"Oh, Kim Jongin from Dance Club?" Kyungsoo chuckled. "So she really scored the deal huh?"

 

"Wait, you knew about her undying love for the one and only Kim Jongin?"

 

"Of course I did." his gaze moved from the road to Suzy's face then back to the road again. "Everyone knows about Jongin and her number one fangirl."

 

Suzy finds herself laughing at the thought. "Oh right, I almost forgot she carried that ridiculously huge board with their names on it in every performance. Can you believe her? And to think that half of those performance tickets were on me!" she huffed. "I wonder if I can get her to pay me back now."

 

"I doubt that. She's Jung Soojung."

 

Suzy sighed in defeat. "Guess you're right." she slacked down her seat before casting Kyungsoo a playful look. "Should I ask Jongin then?"

 

Kyungsoo laughed at the joke and Suzy finds herself laughing more. This is nice, she thinks. They're finally talking about their past and it makes Suzy believe that not everything was a lie. That eveything really happened. That she was once happy, before emotions and feelings got in the way.

 

The rest of the trip was pleasant for the two people. They crack jokes every now and then. Suzy finds that Kyungsoo doesn't have a tattoo (thank God) and that yes, he is still terribly afraid of dragonflies. She spent five minutes of flailing inside the car and laughing her guts out after hearing that. Kyungsoo literally had to pull over and let themselves calm down (which was difficult since they burst out laughing again the moment their eyes meet).

 

Suzy thinks that this trip isn't gonna help her move on, but she finds it in her that she doesn't mind. At least for now, she doesn't mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They arrive at the tentative venue for the party half an hour later. Suzy literally had to tilt her head up just to see the entire expanse of the grand hall. It was beautiful, a pretty chandelier on top of the roof accentuating the perfect features of the hall. There is also a grand veranda outside wherein one could see the beauty of Seoul at night. Suzy smiles with amazement.

 

"What do you think?" Kyungsoo's soothing voice asked her.

 

"It's perfect," she answers in a beat. Suzy looks at him only to have her heart sink a little deeper because god, Kyungsoo is looking at her and is smiling at her as though she is the only person in the room. The manager was talking to him, probably telling him more of the features of the hall but he just stands there, looking at her and smiling. Suzy thinks she might be as red as a tomato right now so she decided to look away, much to her dismay of course.

 

"We'll get it." Kyungsoo said with finality and Suzy sees herself falling again because he has this dominant tone in his voice and well, women like her always, always fall for the dominant type.

 

"Alright sir, may I just ask when is the date of the wedding so we can—"

 

Suzy's eyes widens in shock as she realizes what the woman implies and hurriedly shakes her head and her hands. "Ah, no, no. We," she looked at Kyungsoo who was looking at her as though he has no idea on why she's acting that way. Damn those bright and dazzling eyes.

 

"We are not getting married. It's for our school's batch reunion. We were assigned to look for a venue." Suzy's habit of talking too much when in intense pressure never changed and it is slowly digging her own grave for her so she decides to shut . Kyungsoo can take it from here.

 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought,"

 

"No, no. It's okay." a hint of resignation in his tone but Suzy was too busy willing away her thoughts to even notice.

 

Suzy avoids looking at Kyungsoo the whole meeting with the manager that she misses Kyungsoo staring at her the whole entire time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So you mean, we're gonna score a fancy caterer and get a free meal?" Suzy whispers at Kyungsoo who is sitting across her. Kyungsoo smiles and nods at her, adoration seen in his eyes. "Wow! This is great!"

 

"Just eat as you please. I heard that the food is great." he says while neatly placing the napkin on his lap. Always the prim and proper Do Kyungsoo.

 

"I don't eat much though," she grinned and Kyungsoo finds it hard for him to believe that.

 

Three orders of pasta, two servings of soup and 45th refill of her iced tea later, Kyungsoo realizes why he can't. He finds himself chuckling with his mouth wide open in amazement because wow, this girl could really eat.

 

In the middle of slurping the delicious pasta down , Suzy cast a glance at Kyungsoo and grinned sheepishly when she sees him staring at her. A smile on his face and Suzy thinks she can probably just die in embarassment right here.

 

"I-I don't usualy eat this much on a regular basis," she shyly said, her eyes disappearing into crescent moons and Kyungsoo snorted.

 

"Why do I find it hard to believe that?" he teases and Suzy flared up.

 

"Ya, I am a very sophisticated woman who doesn't find weakness in food. I even stopped eating more than four cups of rice days back—" Suzy bit her lip and tried to stop herself but it's too late. Kyungsoo is already laughing his heart out and mirth oozing from his eyes.

 

"Ya, don't laugh at me." Suzy tries to sound irritated but fails miserably when a chuckle comes out of her own lips.

 

"Sorry," Kyungsoo mutters as he wipes the tears in his eyes. "It's just that, how can you still be this cute Suzy?" he says and the girl finds herself surprised by the man's words.

 

"What?"

 

"I said, you look cute." Kyungsoo said then pointed at her face. "Especially with that pasta sauce on your cheek."

 

Suzy flails to wipe her face but judging from the fact that Kyungsoo is still laughing, she figures she didn't hit the mark.

 

"Come here," and before she knew it, Kyungsoo is already reaching for her face from across the table, his own handkerchief in his hand. "Let me." then he is wiping the sauce of her face. Suzy finds herself not knowing where to look, so she settles on the expanse of Kyungsoo's chest. Her heart beating so fast that she's afraid he might hear them through her chest. Suzy laughs at herself because this is so much like that scarf incident from seven years ago, and she knows she shouldn't be reacting this way because it's not like she's fifteen years old all over again.

 

"There, all good." he says and went back to his seat. That smile permanently plastered on his face.

 

"Thank you," she finds herself muttering.

 

Suzy is still busy thinking of all the things Kyungsoo is making her feel but this time, she is fully aware of Kyungsoo's heated stare which he throws her every now and then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They unexpectedly run into Taeyeon when they decided to pull over and rest on one of the coffee shops around the town. She was sitting alone in one of the chairs and Suzy didn't even hesitate and walked over to the woman, enveloping her friend in a tight hug. She decides that seven years of self isolation really is hard. Kyungsoo just somehow went with it, his smile still on his handsome face.

 

With the coffee buzzer in Kyungsoo's hand, Suzy starts chatting with Taeyeon. "Hey, I heard about the batch reunion. At long last, after seven years! Who knew it would be this hard to find time for us to do it right?" Taeyeon said. Suzy notes that she's even more beautiful than before. Time has given her features care, she looks more beautiful as you look at her more. But Suzy also notes how she looks a lot less happy than the Kim Taeyeon back in high school. The Kim Taeyeon so hopelessly in love with the class mood-maker, Byun Baekhyun.

 

It almost feels unreal that Baekhyun is nowhere in sight right now, to think that they were both inseparable back then.

 

The buzzer rings and Kyungsoo flinched. "Ooh, coffee's done. You girls continue your chit-chat okay. I'll get our drinks." he said with a smile. Suzy smiled back and nodded, always the man with manners, Do Kyungsoo.

 

When Kyungsoo is out to get them their coffee's, Taeyeon notes the way Suzy's eyes never leave the guy. She smiled gently.

 

"Still not over that first love so I see," she said against the rim of her cup. This took Suzy in surprise and started muttering nonsense. A habit she never really had the chance to change.

 

"Stop denying it Suzy. I know love when I see it." she smiled but Suzy sees the loneliness and sorrow in her voice. She bit her lip and looked at her friend.

 

"I heard about you and," a slight pause, "Sehun."

 

Taeyeon unconsciously looks out the window, into a place Suzy doesn't know. Probably across the country, somewhere near the sea. The sea that a certain boy had always loved.

 

"He's nice." Taeyeon answers the unspoken question behind Suzy's words. "I mean, he's good for me. His company is a great help to ours and I am thankful that he offered us help." Suzy tries to find the happy glint in the woman's eyes. The glint that had always been there whenever she's with Baekhyun.

 

Suzy finds nothing.

 

He's good for me, it's really scary how the real world works sometimes. It makes one abandon dreams and fantasies. Makes a young child grow up fast. Makes love stand powerless against the norms of real life because reality check, not all stories end in a happily ever after. Soojung and Jongin is just lucky; the woman in front of her and the boy dwelling in her mind just happens to have run out of chances.

 

"Do you love him?" Suzy knows it's a stupid question but she asks anyway. The sad smile and the hint of tears in Taeyeon's eyes is enough for her to regret doing so.

 

"I need him," she says and Suzy understands cause she knows Taeyeon can only love one person and it's most definitely not Sehun.

 

Suzy doesn't need to ask if Taeyeon knows where Baekhyun is at the moment. She doesn't ask if she tried to find him and get him back for once. She doesn't ask, because she knows. Just by looking at the longing in her eyes, at the sad smile that she keeps on wearing and at how she still wears that silver necklace that a boy with the brightest smile had once given her in a cold winter night.

 

Suzy stares at the letters on the necklace.

 

B.B.

 

Byun Baekhyun.

 

 

Suzy doesn't ask, because Suzy knows.

 

"Don't waste your time Suzy. Fate had been kind to you for giving you a second chance, it's funny how the world can be unfair sometimes." Taeyeon pointed at Kyungsoo who is still waiting at the line for their coffee. He's swaying from side to side, humming into the music playing over the shop's speaker, his wide eyes seem to be taking everything in and it pains Suzy because she's still so ing in love with him that she thinks she might be going crazy.

 

"It's too late Taeyeon," she swallowed the burning lump in . "he already has someone else." she says, the truth painfully rolling out her tongue.

 

Taeyeon chuckled. "If there is one thing that I learned from loving that idiot, it is that nothing hurts more than not knowing what could have been." she held on to the silver necklace as she looked into Suzy's eyes. "If you want to be happy, then you have to take risks. It's something I never did, and look at where we are now."

 

"But what if it isn't worth it? What if I just end up getting hurt?" Suzy thinks she's had her fair share of pain, she doesn't think she can take it twice in a lifetime.

 

"That's the beauty of taking risks Suzy, you do not know what would happen next. You just do it, and then let fate decide." Taeyeon leans back. "Hey come to think of it, Kyungsoo is the owner of one big Accounting Firm and yet he is here with you planning some kind of stupid batch reunion. I thinks he's risking a lot too himself."

 

"Kyungsoo has a girlfriend Taeyeon."

 

"I see the way he looks at you Suzy." she sips her now cold coffee.

 

"I told you, I know love when I see it."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The drive on the way home is silent and solemn, Suzy's mind still filled with Taeyeon's words. The night is dark and the only source of light is from the twinkling bulbs of Seoul at night. If Kyungsoo notices Suzy's silence, he chooses to let her be and let her think about the things she has to think about.

 

Suzy takes advantage of the dark and lets herself gaze at Kyungsoo's profile without the fear of being seen. She inhales Kyungsoo's features, from his wide doe eyes to his pretty nose. His squishy cheeks and his heart shaped lips. She remembers how she used to see this face even after she closes her eyes. A lot of things had changed, maybe, but her love for Kyungsoo stays.

 

"Kyungsoo," she begins, trying hard not to crack. It is dark and she knows he wouldn't see how her eyes shine with silent tears. Suzy thinks this is okay.

 

"Hmm?" he answers, not taking his eyes off the road.

 

"Will you sing for me?" it was the most bizzarre request but Suzy finds herself longing to hear him sing again.

 

Kyungsoo laughs at the absurdity, but Suzy stands firm. "You serious?"

 

"Eung." she hums.

 

"Why all of a sudden?"

 

"Nothing," she inhales and her heart clenches because the car smells like Kyungsoo. "I just want to, hear you sing again."

 

Kyungsoo still thinks it is a ridiculous idea, but he clears his throat anyways. "What should I sing then?"

 

"Anything, you pick."

 

A long pause, and then she closes her eyes because that is when he starts singing. It was a very familiar melody. It makes her remember heavy hues of orange dusk, smell of old music sheets and dusty piano keys. She lets herself remember because Kyungsoo is singing that song he sang when they first met. Suzy doesn't think he did it on purpose, or maybe he did, but that Suzy wouldn't know. She just let herself be sung into deep bliss because wow, seven years and the man still sounds amazing. It's like he picks up Suzy's broken shards and put her all together with every note.

 

Without knowing it, a tear fell from Suzy's eye.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I told you, you guys are efficient! Look, the party is almost complete!" Soojung exclaims as she looks at the progress both she and Kyungsoo had managed to finish in just four weeks. Yes, they have been spending the past four weeks together and Suzy thinks the time she spends with him doesn't help in getting her to move on.

 

"Soojung," she starts, her mind really not in herself. It is somewhere out there drifting off to some place she doesn't know. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

 

"Of course you are. You are the stupidest smart person I know," she answers without skipping a beat, still looking at the plans and lay outs for the party.

 

"I am huh," Suzy exhales, which makes Soojung alarmed. Her friend is acting abnormally sad today. She blames it for Kyungsoo not being here for the last three days. Seems like he really had made sacrifices just to plan this stupid party with her, and now he is paying the price.

 

"Kyungsoo didn't contact you yet?"

 

"What if he really got into a huge trouble? I knew he shouldn't be skipping work for his long. The time he spent with me should be his time spending to manage his firm. I feel like I just wasted his time,"

 

"Does he look like he had his time wasted?" Soojung asked. "Come on, tell me. Do you really think he'd come here thinking that it is a complete waste of time? Really Bae Suzy?" Soojung is completely fired up now, totally unbelieving at how stupid her smart best friend is.

 

"But, but he had oher things that he should do and—"

 

"And still he chose to be with you and plan this reunion . He came because he wanted to, no one forced him. Do you really think I'd push him into this if he showed a sign of reluctance? No, I won't. He was even the one who asked me for your number, complete with that shy and cute face of his and who am I to refuse?" Soojung sighed.

 

"What I am saying is, yes he had tons of work to do. He's a busy man. But I don't know, maybe there is something or someone—no let me finish Bae Suzy—who is pulling him into his crazy . I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure between us two, it's definitely not me."

 

"Stop raising my hopes Jung Soojung,"

 

"I'm not raising your hopes. I am giving you a glimpse from another person's perspective. Have you seen those times he stole glances at you? Heck, he's been staring at you for minutes and yet you're still so oblivious to it. I see the way he looks at you Suzy, and there is definitely something in there. You just have to push it more."

 

"But he has a—"

 

"Have you really asked him directly if he really has one?" no answer. "I figured. You see Suzy, it's just always you assuming things on your own. You should try and get some answers too you know."

 

Suzy's vision becomes blurry and she tries to bite back the sobs threatening to come out of . She's been left out for too long. It was as though she had been waiting for Kyungsoo to come to her for years that she doesn't know how to advance forward.

 

"But I'm scared Soojung. I'm scared that I'll be hurt again."

 

In a second, Soojung envelopes her in her arms in a warm hug. "I know, I know you brat. I am still mad at that bastard for leaving you so suddenly back then, but I also know he's the only one who can ease your pain. If he happens to have a reason for disappearing like that years ago, he has to make sure it's a good one or else he'll get some from me."

 

Soojung continued to comfort her with gentle across her back and she finds herself relaxing in her touch.

 

Soojung is a good friend (sometimes).

Jung Soojung is a good friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three days before the batch reunion, Kyungsoo decides to appear in her front door, a smile plastered on his lips and a bag of alcohol in his hand.

 

"We made it! Want to celebrate the adult way?" he said while bringing the bag close to his face and Suzy can't help but chuckle. She nodded and let the man in, what the heck, they really worked their asses for this party and they do deserve to celebrate. And what's a celebration without a bit of bitter soju and beer?

 

Soojung is not home, she says she'll stay with Jongin because she thinks Suzy should sort her feeling out on her own. Great timing really.

 

The two decides to watch a movie Kyungsoo brought and see who could remember what the story is about the next day after they drown themselves with booze. "I can't believe Do Kyungsoo is influencing me to drink alcohol. The principal of our school would be so disappointed."

 

"Let her be. What's life without a little spice?" he says as he opens his first can, Suzy follows right after.

 

Suzy doesn't really watch the movie, he just looks at Kyungsoo's profile from across the couch, all dressed with a simple statement shirt and dark jeans (Suzy doesn't miss the Pororo socks that the man wears but who cares right? It was cute). The light from the television illuminating his soft features, and Suzy observes the way his adams apple bob up and down with every sip of his drink.

 

She finds herself out of breath because she can't believe how handsome this guy beside her is.

 

She gulps more of her drink when her gaze shifts into those full plump lips and how they look against the rim of his can. She needs to drown these thoughts in her mind. Too inappropriate for her own safety.

 

It seems like they chose the wrong movie because in the end, the boy and the girl didn't end up together. They boh found someone else more convenient to be with and just settles with that. No risks. Comfort zones guarded, and Suzy cries. She cries because it's is unfair for both of them to not be truly happy in the end. She cries because she knows how it feels to be left. She knows how it feels to be rejected. It is so ing painful, and so she cries.

 

"Suzy, are you crying?" Kyungsoo motions beside her, him smelling of beer and alcohol mixed with his own sweet scent and Suzy finds herself intoxicated. "Suzy," he tries to reach her but she bats his hand and she cries even more.

 

"Don't touch me." she hisses. The boy seemed to be taken aback but he approaches her still, the movie long forgotten in the background.

 

"What's wrong Suzy? Did I do something wrong?" he asks, his voice raspy from alcohol.

 

Suzy looks at him. She's gonna say it. She's gonna say something she may or may not regret but she can always blame the alcohol tomorrow morning.

 

"Yes! Yes, you did something wrong Do Kyungsoo." she wiped the tears falling from her cheeks. "You made me fall in love with you. You made me fall in love with you and then you ing left. You left without any explanation of any sort, and you broke me, and I spent nights crying because I don't know how to live my life without you." her words come in slurs due to heavy sobs but she continues anyway.

 

"But that's not why I am crying right now. No, because I know that was all in the past. Something the fifteen year old me experienced. Something that the twenty three year old me should be forgetting. I should be fine. I'm supposed to be fine. But I am not!" she broke into pathetic wreck of sobs. If it's any consolation, Kyungsoo looks equally broken sith every word Suzy says.

 

"And I am so stupid because after all these years," she paused and looked at the boy. "after all these years, I am still in love with you." she finally says, breathless, as though she let a part of her disappear into Kyungsoo's hands.

 

"I, I am still so ing in love with you and I hate myself for feeling so. It's so unfair, it's unfair because here I am breaking for the second time in my life and you still do not love me that way." her arms go limp.

 

"I hate myself because after seven long years, Bae Suzy is still in love with Do Kyungsoo and—" anything that was about to come out of were all pushed back as Kyungsoo pulled her close and crash his lips to hers in a bruising kiss. Suzy squirms, she tries to push him away but Kyungsoo's grip is strong, she fists his shirt instead.

 

This is wrong, this is so wrong because Kyungsoo is drunk, and so is she.

 

Wait no. She's not drunk, she knows exactly what is happening, and she knows that Kyungsoo is kissing her. Plump lips against hers, she feels her legs go weak at how perfect their lips slide against each other. How perfect he tastes like against her lips and Suzy had wanted to do this since day one and she finds all her thoughts will away as Kyungsoo lowers her into the couch.

 

The kiss turned gentle all of a sudden, Kyungsoo slipping his tongue into Suzy's soft mouth, , only to explicit a low moan as Suzy on it. Suzy is kissing him back. She nibbles his lower lip and Kyungsoo gasps. Then Kyungsoo is kissing her cheek, then her nose, then he kissing her neck, nipping just above her collarbone and it was her turn to moan.

 

Suzy clings into him harder, wanting this moment to last. A silent tear escape her eyes as she continues to kiss Kyungsoo because god, she loves him and she loves him so much she thinks she could die.

 

Maybe she never really stopped loving Kyungsoo. Maybe the seven years she spent without him is just her waiting for him to come back. And now that he's here, intertwining his hands to hers as he kisses her deeper until they both reach out for air, she thinks maybe it is worth the risk.

 

Sulli.

 

 

Suzy opened her eyes, hands pushing Kyungsoo away.

 

 

Sulli.

 

 

This is so wrong, the way Kyungsoo stares back at her lips as though wanting to do more makes Suzy think that she wants it more than he does, but this is wrong.

 

"You have Sulli,"

 

"What about Sulli?" Kyungsoo asks, his dark eyes turning even darker with want and those swollen lips that promises Suzy pleasure and pain, this is wrong.

 

"Just get out Kyungsoo." she says as she push him away. Questions visible in his eyes but he follows nonetheless. Then Suzy enters her room and closes her door. She waits until she hears the front door close before closing her eyes and cry.

 

Her lips still taste like Kyungsoo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suzy stayed at her house the whole day, even Soojung can't get her to come out. Memories of last night flooded through her mind. Kyungsoo went earlier in the morning for final briefing for the party, he never mentioned a thing about last night so Suzy acted as though she doesn't remember as well. She can always blame it on the alcohol, she thinks. She notices Kyungsoo's wary glances but decides to ignore them, she can't let him confuse her again.

 

Suzy still can't process the thought clearly in her mind. They kissed. Yes, he is hell'a drunk, but Kyungsoo still kissed Suzy. And she feels like a bad person because she liked it, eventhough she knows that there is someone waiting for Kyungsoo at home, she liked it. And it makes it harder for her to think that taking a risk is okay.

 

"Alright Bae Suzy," Soojung cornered her into her room. "You're gonna spill, and you're gonna spill good." she watched as her friend stared at her with puffy red eyes. She must be crying the whole night. "Something happened last night."

 

"He kissed me,"

 

Soojung widened her eyes in shock. "He did what!?"

 

"Kyungsoo kissed me. He was so drunk and things happened, and I may have mentioned a lot of things and he just kind of grabbed me and—" Suzy stopped mid-sentence and looked at her friend with teary eyes. No, she can't be crying again, she thought a whole night of tears is enough; but then again, she also thought that seven years is enough to move on but look at where she is now.

 

"I just, I just love him so much Soojung, and I feel like the stupidest woman in the world for loving the same man for seven years." she cried. She thinks about those guys she went out with in those years. She thinks about why she broke up with them, there was this guy, his name was Kris, and he was just so perfect and Suzy had thought he would be the one. But he has one fault. He is not Kyungsoo.

 

They are not Kyungsoo, and with that she knows that no one would ever be enough.

 

"You know what you're gonna do?"Soojung asks placing her hand above her friend's. "You're gonna talk to him. You're gonna go to that party and you'll talk to him. No alcohol, just you two talking and fixing things out." Suzy thought about it. She may not see Kyungsoo ever again after the party. Maybe this is her one last chance.

 

She remembers what Taeyeon had told her, nothing hurts more than knowing what could have been. She's been living through a lot of what could have beens for the last seven years. She thinks it's time to get some answers.

 

And now, she's gonna do it right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The party is a success.

 

 

Suzy wonders at how everything happened just as how they planned it. The venue looks perfect, the food tastes good. The music matches the atmosphere, thanks to the resident music enhusiast, Byun Baekhyun.

 

Yes, he's here and Suzy automatically searches the crowd for Taeyeon but it seems like she's a second too late. The girl was already staring at Baekhyun's direction, drinking up his features. Eyes filled with longing and wishes of second chances, and Suzy thinks she doesn't want to end up that way. And so her eyes searches Kyungsoo's among the crowd. Soojung and Jongin had been long blended into the seas of acquaintances and past friends.

 

There is an awful lot of people in here, all of them familiar and acquainted to Suzy in some sense but her eyes is searching for only one person.

 

Suzy stopped her tracks, ah. There he is. Talking at an old comrade of his, a smile flashing in his lips and Suzy finds herself dying a little bit inside because it is the smile that she loves the most. Suzy looked at him, and sees the fifteen year old girl in herself, hopelessly and madly in love with this man. Now, seven years later, still he same story. Some things never change.

 

 

{ Play this }

 

 

Then the music changed, it changed from its fast track to a much slower ballad. Suzy looked around, for she knows this song. Don't Forget Me. It is the song that drew her to Kyungsoo back then. It's the song that started it all.

 

Then her gaze falls back to Kyungsoo and she sees that he also recognizes the song, he was also searching the crowd, his eyes filled with something painfully familiar to Suzy because she sees it in her own eyes whenever she looks at the mirror. It is longing, it is hope. It is a little bit of both.

 

Suzy finds herself crying again, because all she wants to do right now is to wrap Kyungsoo in her arms and never let go. She wants to kiss him until both of them come gasping for air. She wants to spend all her life with him because God knows how much she loves the man.

 

Then suddenly, in the brink of the moment, her eyes met his. And then it seems like everything is perfect but at the same time it's not. Memories of all those seven years came flashing through her mind and all the emotions rush back. All the unanswered questions, and the painful silence. Everything comes rushing back and suddenly Suzy can't find it in herself to act strong anymore, and so she runs.

 

She runs because she's afraid. She runs because she doesn't know what else to do. When you've been running your entire life, escaping just comes naturally. What else is new?

 

I'll tell you what is new.

 

It is the hand that pulls her the moment she tries to escape. It is the wide eyes that meet hers when she looks up. It's Kyungsoo's ragged breathing as though he also ran half the mile as she did. And this, this makes everything so wrong, but perfect at the same time.

 

"Stop running away Suzy," he says and Suzy tries to look at the man in front of her. Memorizing every inch as though she doesn't have it sketched through he back of her mind. She intakes how handsome he looks with his hair styled up like his. All dressed in a black tux and slacks as though he came right out of a page in a fairy tale. Always the handsome one, Do Kyungsoo.

 

"I'm not running away." she answers as she tries to pull away from his touch but his grip became tighter.

 

"Then stop avoiding me and let's talk." Suzy looked at his eyes and there she found something that made her heart clench in unimaginable ways. The man was hurting, the man was hurting the same way as she does and it's not possible because it had always been just Suzy who feels the pain. Oh the woes of being the first one to fall.

 

"What do you want to talk about?"

 

"About everything, about us, about," he paused. "about that night."

 

Suzy felt her heart beat fast. "There is nothing to talk about that night. We were so drunk and I cant remember a thing—"

 

"I wasn't drunk." he says firmly. "I wasn't drunk and I know exactly what my tongue was doing inside your mouth." Suzy feels her cheeks warm. "But then you insisted that we were so drunk and that you don't remember a thing and so I began to believe that you are. I was a coward, okay, I was seven years before and still am seven years after."

 

Suzy wanted to ask questions but it seems like Kyungsoo is going to tell her everything she wants to know so she listens. She listens because she loves the sound of his voice, she listens because she wants to understand why everything happened the way they did.

 

"I love you," there the words she's been dying to hear for the last seven years. She wants to yell of happiness but she feels there is something more and so she waits.

 

"I loved the girl who suddenly walked in the music room while I was pracricing the song I never seem to get right and the girl who made me laugh when I needed it most. I loved the girl who excels in everything she does and still work hard as though her own talent is not enough. I loved the girl who saw me when I was in my weakest and hugged all my worries away." he says it with so much conviction that Suzy feels her heart melt away.

 

"I love you Bae Suzy, but then I was so scared because I might not be enough for you. I, Do Kyungsoo with no real family. I who never really had anything to brag about. My family is a mess, no one even bothered to keep me. I was so broken that I deemed myself not worthy for someone like you." Suzy bite back her tears because she knows exactly how that isnt true.

 

"And so I worked hard, then I got a scholarship in the States. I never really told anyone about it because I never knew I could get in. But then I did, and finally my Dad called me saying that he's proud of me and I can live with him and his new family. I was so happy because finally I did something worth their recognition and I was determined to go and be successful and be everything that I wanted to be but then," he looked at her with so much pain that Suzy would have liked to wipe away those creases in his brows and tell him that it is alright.

 

"But then you told me you liked me, and then suddenly I'm not that sure anymore. I became so scared because I'm beginning to have second thoughts of leaving. I wanted to stay wih you more than I wanted to have a family or, or have a good life. I loved you more than anything and I just became so scared because I know that if I came to you in that status, sooner or later you would leave me and think that it was all a mistake and then I would be left alone with nothing." He smirked. "Yeah, I know. I am a coward and a jerk."

 

"I would never do that," Suzy finally says. "I love you and I accept you as you are."

 

"I wish I had realized that before," he chuckled but it was so filled with regret that Suzy can't find it in her to laugh along. It's funny how fate can be so cruel at times.

 

"But then I saw you again, I saw you again and I thought that I would never want to lose you anymore. I wanted to make things right. Start again with you, and then I saw how hurt you were and how your pain was caused by me and suddenly I don't know what to do anymore and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a jerk, I'm sorry for being such a coward, and I'm sorry for being seven years late to say this."

 

Kyungsoo cupped her cheek and pulled her close, his eyes roaming around her face then landing in her eyes. He held her with so much care that Suzy thinks she might just cry because eveything is perfect. "I am in love with you Bae Suzy,"

 

Suzy smiled through the tears and held his hand. "You're not late Kyungsoo, I was just seven years too early." she says before Kyungsoo leans down and kiss her again. The whole seven years put into one passionate kiss, and Suzy thinks nothing can be so wrong in the world. It's just like high school all over again where she spends time doodling his name at the back of her notebook, stealing glances here and then.

 

She loves him, and he loves her and everyone is around to watch as her seven year love story come to its close. Soojung clutching Jongin tightly, Taeyeon glancing over at Baekhyun who was already meeting her eyes halfway. Maybe this is what forever feels like.

 

When they pulled away, Suzy remembered something very crucial. "But what about Sulli?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her question landed her three days after in Kyungsoo's house, stared with scrutiny by a very pretty girl eyeing her from across the table.

 

"She's not that pretty," the girl sulked as Kyungsoo gave them their snacks. Kyungsoo immediately pulled her cheeks and sat beside Suzy throwing a possessive hand around her.

 

"What are you talking about? She's the prettiest girl in the whole world." he says and Suzy feels her heart exploding with affection for the man beside her. But then the girl frowned some more and pointed a finger at both of them.

 

"But you told me I was the prettiest girl in the world!!"

 

"That is not what I meant. I meant to say the prettiest girl outside the family bloodline," he explains carefully as though he's talking to a seven year old girl.

 

"Ah, I don't care anymore! I'm going out." then she stands up leaving the two laughing to each other. The girl stood in front of Suzy. "Just try and hurt my brother, and I swear I'd hunt you down and kill you myself, you understand!" she threatens her before she walks away.

 

Sulli is a really scary girl.

 

"I still can't believe you got jealous over my sister," Kyungsoo said chuckling while pulling her hair affectionately.

 

"Hey, in my defense, I really didn't know you had one." she says but her cheeks are turning red due to major embarrassment. Kyungsoo looked at her and Suzy can see the sudden change in the glint in his eyes. Uh-oh, manly Kyungsoo is here.

 

"Is that why you stopped me that night?" Suzy's whole body warms at the thought of Kyungsoo's kiss. She looked away.

 

"I-I told you not to talk about that anymore didnt I?"

 

"But you owe me a proper kiss," she looked at the playful glint in his eyes. Ah, look at how cutie Kyungsoo had grown up.

 

Suzy rolled her eyes and gave him a peck on his cheeks. "There, happy now?"

 

"Ya, Bae Suzy. It's not like we're fifteen year old anymore. That is not how twenty three year old adults kiss."

 

Suzy chuckled because she's so happy and she's staring at the man of her dreams and she sees love in his eyes the same as her eyes show love for him and everything is so perfect that she thinks the world is beginning to be a better place. "Oh yeah? Then how do adults—"

 

"Like this," Suzy didn't even got the chance to finish her sentence before Kyungsoo came devouring her lips in a gentle yet passionate way. Suzy loves the way Kyungsoo kisses her. With so much care, with so much love. And when he slides his tongue into her, tasting her, Suzy thinks this might be it.

 

This might be her forever right here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: Yey! Here is the second chapter everyone. Sorry, I know I promised you it would be all posted tomorrow but then there was power outage then aglitz in the connection and here I am, updating too late. Sorry :< 

But here it is anyways, and I hope you like it. I appreciate your comments and I wish to hear more of what you think about this story! I love you all guys and thank you so much! 

 

For M. Because you are still my first love and you owe me a bucketful of tears. Ah, the woes of being in an unrequited love.

 

Saranghaja!