Okay, just a little warning: this chapter is mostly based on angst, so prepare your hearts, my darlings!

Kai's POV

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The moment I heard Kyungsoo’s restrained whimper, I knew something was wrong. Something bad had happened. I needed to get to him. I needed to check up on him. I needed to know what was wrong, or if he was even okay.

I just wholesomely needed to see Kyungsoo—to make sure with my own two eyes that he was all right.

Kyungsoo exclaiming pain was something that rarely happened, hence my tensed up posture and vivid brain flow. Not only was he always careful of not voicing whenever he got hurt, but Kyungsoo would never whimper openly somewhere everyone could see his weakness. He was more careful than that, and only unexpected amount of pain could take him by surprise.

When I turned around to search for my hyung, Taemin quickly caught my elbow, ordering me to stay put. To finish the show properly.

It would only be bad for Kyungsoo if I made a scene, but I couldn’t think of that after hearing the agonizing sound of his distressed voice. I wasn’t thinking at all. My Kyungsoo was hurt, but I didn’t know where, how much or even what had caused it. I only knew I needed to get to him—fast.

Ignoring Taemin—completely brushing him off—I started for the direction I knew Kyungsoo was moments ago, but stopped the moment my eyes landed on Siwon. He discreetly gave me a stern shake of his head, indicating I needed to return to my place. He frowned, staring at me for a couple of seconds, valuating if I was going to listen or not. The warning was clear; I step out of line, I will ruin everything.

Knowing I couldn’t defy my sunbae, I stiffly walked backwards, standing in between Taemin and Sehun again. Though I tried to relax my body—enough for Taemin’s grip to disappear—I was still on edge. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander around real quick, checking if I could spot Kyungsoo somewhere.

I barely caught Donghae and Jinki helping him off stage, and some of my worry subsided. He was being taking care of. Donghae nor Onew wouldn’t dare let anything happen to him. He was safe, for now.

However much I tried to convince myself that Kyungsoo was fine—or would be fine soon—and I would get to see him when the concert was over, I still felt something was off. Something inside of me was still on edge, even after Joonmyun’s reassuring nod and Heechul’s slap on my shoulder.

It was all I could to focus on the rest of the SM Town concert; mind half there, the other half with Kyungsoo.

~

“But, hyung—“

Our manager effortlessly cut me off, displaying his authority in his voice. “No, you can’t go. I told you that you can see him when he gets discharged, like the rest of the members.”

Pouting, I clang onto his side in one last attempt to get him to waver. “Hyuung~” I practically cooed, “Kyungsoo is probably lonely, and he needs his roommate to—“

“Get off, you over-sized puppy.” Manager-hyung demanded coldly. “You’re making a scene.”

I was dropped down on the floor—left to salvage for myself—as our manager left me in the corridor all alone. I stood up, brushed imaginary dirt off my sweats, and stomped into my hotel room I shared with Joonmyun and Jongdae.

Originally I should’ve shared with Sehun and Tao, but since the latter was busy touring America in top-style, and Sehun demanding other sleeping arrangements since he had oddly taken a liking to Yixing lately (the kid seemed to cling onto Yixing whenever he was back from China), I was thrown into foreign territory without much thought.

Not that I minded Joonmyun or Jongdae, but I would rather have been tossed somewhere useful, like Kyungsoo’s hotel room.

The moment I stepped into the hotel room, I felt Joonmyun’s eyes on me like a concerning parent. He knew better than to comment on my slacked shoulders and the crease between my eyebrows that didn’t disappear no matter how hard I tried. I was too worried about Kyungsoo to really care about how others saw me right now.

Especially since no one wanted to tell me anything about what had happened except for Joonmyun (Kyungsoo had apparently sprained his ankle while going down the stairs), but in no further details. And now this, not allowing me to visit him in the hospital.

It was driving me insane, not knowing if he was really all right.

I just wanted to see if my Kyungsoo was all right. Was that too much to ask?

“Worried about lover boy?” Jongdae commented from the bathroom, head sticking out between the crack of the door.

I didn’t even look at him. With everything building up, Jongdae’s immature comment was enough to tip off the iceberg and I grabbed my duffel bag, shoving shoes and whatnot in it before storming out the door.

Heading for the studio our manager had rented for us to use in between mic rehearsals and vocal training, my head was throbbing with everyone’s actions towards me today. It made me wonder if they would’ve reacted different if they knew about our real relationship, or it wouldn’t have made a difference at all—the possibility of the latter making me more angry.

How Taemin had held me back from going to Kyungsoo; how Siwon had warned me that I could’ve made it worse for Kyungsoo if I went after him; how our manager blatantly denied me visiting rights to Kyungsoo,  knowing how close we were; to even Joonmyun’s silent concern about me.

I’d had enough of everyone, and knowing I couldn’t do anything for Kyungsoo either way—only getting myself in trouble if so—I knew I needed to blow off this steam before I let my temperament get the better of me and make the situation worse.

And the only thing that could do just that—plus make me forget about all my worries—was dancing it off.

~

It felt good.

Every pop of my muscles, every motion of my limps, and the sharp and precisely preformed choreography was like therapy for my brain.

The dull ache in my limps overrode my throbbing headache, making me unable to stop.

The forever echo in the loud music blasting around the room, almost over-powering my loud pants and stomps, made it even better.

Something about the wholeness of it all, every single detail to the running sweat trailing down my body, the exhaustion building up and just the automatic motions made me finally feel somewhat relaxed. Even though every muscle in my body was tensed up from the overly done exercise, I wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon, it felt remarkably good. Almost too good.

I hadn’t even noticed how long I had danced, doing some freestyle in between the songs I hadn’t worked any choreography for yet, to the repeat of all of EXO’s songs, that it had been hours.

I didn’t even stop for some well-needed water.

Only when Yixing’s reflection caught my attention did I stop. He looked at me with this fond look he always gives his dongsaengs when he knew they where overworking themselves physically or mentally, and I couldn’t do anything but stare right back into those forever knowing eyes.

While the other members might have a slight suspicion about my relationship with Kyungsoo not being purely friendship, I always felt like Yixing knew that it wasn’t only that.

It made me feel like he was the only one who really understood how I felt.

Finally he moved—all but seven minutes of staring later—and turned the stereo off. I was about to protest when he turned around and gave me this look that made me freeze.

“Are you trying to kill your career?” his voice was quiet, but the smoothest anger resounded in it. “Do you have any idea how unhealthy you’re treating your body right now? Do you want to get a back injury for real this time? What are you thinking?”

I was speechless. Not only was my forever kind hyung scolding me, but doing it in a voice that sounded somewhat like a leader. Sometimes I question why Yixing wasn’t ever given the title, knowing how observant and well he take care of us all.

“Do you know how long you’ve been in here?” the shake of my head didn’t seem to surprise him. “It’s almost four am. And from what I gathered from Joonmyun, you’ve been in here for at least 5 hours!”

It was then the pain suddenly started to make its appearance, not being too distracted anymore to feel only parts of it. I gasped, nearly collapsing onto the floor if it wasn’t for Yixing coming around and supporting my weight.

For a second I thought he was about to scold me some more, even give those long lectures Joomyun gives us every time he gets in trouble with our manager for something he didn’t even do, but since he was the leader, he needed to take the responsibility.

But he didn’t.

Yixing just took my duffel bag, and kept supporting my weight as we made our way back to the hotel. I expected him to drop me off at my room, but he surprised me by tugging me towards his own, mumbling something about Sehun falling asleep at Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s hotel room hours ago.

Once inside his empty room, he threw me a towel and ordered me to take a cold shower. The thought didn’t appeal to me very much, but I did as I was told since we both knew it would tense up my muscles enough for them to heal faster. Call it a dancer thing.

He gave me one of his amazing massages before tugging me into Sehun’s untouched bed, slipping me two painkillers and a glass of water.

The loss of words didn’t seem to bother him, nor me that much. It was nice to have someone like him, knowing every piece of myself enough to know when to barge and when to back off. I couldn’t say I had learned my lesson—even tomorrow when I won’t be able to move from cramps—I will probably do it again when my emotions gets like this. It’s just how I dealt with something I couldn’t control.

I downed the pills with half of the glass’ content, sighing as I felt drowsiness tug at my eyelids.

Before I could completely fall asleep, I registered Yixing’s calm voice, back to it tenderness I was used to.

“Pulling a stunt like this is defiantly not going to help Kyungsoo. So please—for him at least—don’t do it again.”

Again I felt bad, because I knew even hearing this, I would probably do it again and again and probably until I finally break.

~

The next day we were scheduled to leave in the afternoon for Korea again to tend to some activities before the next destination of the SM Town Live Tour.

I wasn’t allowed to go to Kyungsoo again today, since I was going to see him on the plane anyway. I tried to let it go; not letting it get to me that the more time I spent apart from Kyungsoo, the more anxious I got about his well-being.

I hid my strained muscles pretty well, getting used to put a better façade up for the fans so they wouldn’t worry. Though I noticed Yixing stuck around me more than usual, Sehun happily taking along since his two favorite people were hanging together. Not my words; his.

I couldn’t think about anything but seeing Kyungsoo later the whole day, making Sehun even exchange glances with Yixing, asking if I was really all right.

There wasn’t anything to talk about, so I remained silent, not surprising anyone.

I noticed Jongdae being a little wary of me, making me feel slightly guilty for walking out on him yesterday. It hadn’t been his fault. He usually teased us to get our mood up, but he had just hit a very sensitive button in me. He couldn’t have known, and I almost went over to him to apologize, but then my feet protested and I decided I would do it if he brought the topic up. Or at least approached me.

~

The minutes couldn’t possibly go slower, making me more irritated by the minute.

Kyungsoo hadn’t yet boarded, but since our manager just left to pick him up at the gate, I knew he was coming. My stomach was in knots. My head was spinning, and my throat was dry. I was finally going to be allowed to check up on Kyungsoo myself, and he was so near now. I could almost feel his presence.

Our manager had assured us that Kyungsoo was all right, that he had been cleared and allowed to travel by plane home. However, he failed to notify us that he was in a ing wheelchair.

I completely forgot myself the moment I saw manager-hyung push Kyungsoo’s wheelchair over to the seat next to his. Kyungsoo’s head turned to me the moment they were inside the plane. Our eyes barely locked for a few seconds, but I was up and about before I could register his I-am-okay smile.

“You told me he was fine!” I practically yell in our manager’s face, forgetting honorifics and everything. “Why is he in a wheelchair?!”

“Kai—“

“No! You said he was okay, that he was all right—“ I choked. “Does this look ‘all right’ to you?”

Our manager flinched, and in that moment, I felt a fair of fingers tuck at my wrist. I looked down and saw Kyungsoo’s pleading eyes.

“I’m okay, Jongin-ah.” He tried again to smile, and this time I caught it. “Really, I’m all right.”

His voice was enough to lift the amount of worry I had carried since yesterday night. I almost melted against him if I wasn’t too afraid to hurt him.

“C-can I sit with Jongin, hyung?” Kyungsoo asked our manager. “I think he’s more than capable to take care of me.”

Manager-hyung nodded his head and allowed me to take him over to my seat. I was about to help Kyungsoo into the seat right beside mine when he stood up himself and sat down.

Oh.

He was all right enough to walk.

“Told you,” he grinned at me. “I’m perfectly fine.”

Without having to think he was badly hurt now, I embraced him in a bone-crushing hug. It probably looked weird, me standing and with him sitting, but I didn’t care. Kyungsoo was all right, and he was safe. Here, with me.

I released a long-waited breath, catching his lips in a quick kiss. I didn’t care our members would be able to see if they were watching us, which probably was the case. I was just glad to have Kyungsoo in arm’s length again. Glad that he was okay, and kissing me back.

~

Turns out no one payed attention to us at the plane, so they still didn’t know about me and Kyungsoo’s relationship, which was fine.

We’d tell them when we’re ready.