So great

Alright, let me just say that this piece is awesome. I love it <3<br />
But, as to the comment below, I would just like to say that: This is creative writing. In creative writing, you can do pretty much anything you want. Which includes writing without any capitals. People avoid "proper" grammar in a lot of famous, modern works. So don't say they didn't care much about the story when you have no idea who they are, OR how hard they have worked on it.<br />
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Also, colloquial language is very much so called for in this story. It's a bizarre piece, but if it had extremely figurative diction, that would be random. The character is a very casual, very free girl, and using "colloquial diction" as you call it, fits with the narrative very much. She is not the type of character to say enormous words on a regular basis, and if she would, it would probably be out of context in order to impress someone. You do not need figurative language in order to make it a good story. You need to follow your main character in how they speak. It's about creative freedom, not the way that English teachers have taught you to write.<br />

I'm not trying to be offensive, but it seems like you don't care very much about this story. At least that's what I'm getting from it, the way how you don't capitalize appropriately, and also, the very colloquial diction used, it seems rather common, regardless of how abstract the storyline is.

This is totally super-duper amazingly awsome. I love your sense of humour. I was in stitches all the way through. There are so many things i'd like to quote~ <br />
Soohyoung is my fave original character from any other fic i've ever read. Completely the opposite of the stereo typical Korean girl. Her rants and spazzy behavior reminds me of me lol.<br />
Please update soon =^-^=<br />
Keep up the amazing work,<br />
Peace *0*