Days roll fast, and Sehun finds himself flipping his calendar again. He can’t believe that the day of their big performance is coming near. ‘H-14 to the big performance! Hwaiting!’ Quoting from Baekhyun’s status update, there is only two weeks left from their performance. Sehun didn’t get the main role, but at least he gets quite an important role, unlike Chanyeol which ends up being a tree, he gets to be main antagonist, the dragon. Suits (well actually it’s just a mask but looks like one) aren’t his style, because he has twice the burden and they are heavy as hell, but he finds himself liking his role after tons of practices. He especially likes the end where he has to act as if he is dying.

He is now practicing his Grand Jeté because he has lots of that in his routine. He’s been jumping all around the studio when a cold sensation presses through his left cheek. Sehun soon identifies the cold from his favorite treat; a cup of chocolate bubble tea.

“Hey.” At first Sehun thinks that the cup has just talked to him, but then he recognizes that the cup is being hold by an overly familiar dark hand, not being racist, really but there is only one person he knows with that skin tone. He immediately knows it belongs to the one and only, Kim Jongin.

“Hey. You’re not practicing?” Sehun sets down his dragon mask carefully before propping down next to Jongin on the vinyl floor. Jongin then hands him the straw, letting Sehun it into the cup and drinks it, with excitement.

“Um… Nope.”

“So… What are you doing here?” Sehun the balls, chewing them lightly before turning to Jongin that is too sullen to be Jongin. The Jongin he is facing now is out of character, and he is rarely out of character. There must be something coming up.

“I just need to talk… I mean… Uh where do I start?” From a sullen jongin, suddenly Jongin turns into a flustered Jongin. His cheeks are dusted in soft pink. He may seem to be so y and stuff while dancing, but actually he is very innocent. To be honest, he is even more innocent than Sehun who is younger by 11 months.

Taking a deep breath, he mumbles something incoherent, which seems to be prayers. He then looks straight at Sehun in the eyes. By each movement Jongin makes, the air grows stiffer as if time itself slows down to the point it doesn’t move at all.

Sehun has a slight hunch that this ‘big thing’ from Jongin must be something bad.

Because his hunches are usually correct.

And this situation seems so cliché to be true.

Oh god oh god oh god. please. PLEASE NOT THAT!

“Sehunnie. I-I think I like Luhan-noona.”

Damn.

NOOOOO just what kind of nonsense Jongin’s been spouting? Is he hearing things? No he hasn’t when he has just cleaned his ears yesterday. The other explanation must be; this must be a dream, right? Now calm down Sehun, if you count to three, slap your cheek, or clap twice in the air you’ll be back to the reality.

Okay 1,2,3…

But Sehun stays rooted to the spot as what is just a split second feels like eternity. His heart says, JUST FRIGGIN’ DO THE REALITY CHECK AND SEE IT’S ALL JUST A DREAM YEHET! But his brain- No not that brain which has been keeping his face from disgruntling in a vivid motion (Bless his brain and his natural poker face), he should say, rational mind identifies the situation as JONGIN IS NOT LYING~ THIS IS REALITY~ ACCEPT. IT.

As the words roll out from Jongin’s mouth, his head is in the opposite condition of the colorful tropical rainforest. Lavas are everywhere and the volcano rumbles, ready to vomit more hot liquid from its inside.  Why must it be Jongin? Why must Jongin steal everything from him? His spotlight, his moments, his every chance to shine, everything! And he isn’t satisfied? Now he’s going to steal the one and only pride left in his heart, his Luhan?

Several ugly scenarios have popped up in his head. Oh how much he wants to skewer his head, or gouge his eyeball and blender them, or kick his balls until his lineage is endangered, or maybe break his beautiful feet into four so that he will never be able to dance again, or even wipe that ridiculously ridiculous red shade on his face with a punch or two. Curses and random harsh words form in his mind, ready to slip out any minute, all directed to Jongin his best friend which officially has stolen everything from him.

He then looks at Jongin in the eyes just the same way as he had looked him before.

“Luhan is nice. I’ll support you, don’t worry.”

Sehun is a good boy he doesn’t curse. BUT HE JUST NEEDS TO.

Stupid Jongin, stupid situation, Stupid mouth, stupid heart, stupid mind, stupid. Stupid him, stupid everything. JUST STUPID!

Again his heart and his rational mind clash in an internal battle. His heart screams ‘NOOO’ but his healthy mind has a big ‘HE’S YOUR BEST FRIEND’ in the size of 72. He cannot bring himself to shout out loud the cusses he has planned beforehand, especially when Jongin is now lighting up with joy and brilliance, a cute smile decorating his face.

In the end the one who suffers most will always be Sehun as now he is putting the best-est fake smile he can muster now, while his heart is aching in agony. Saying something that is not in line with his heart hurts Sehun, the most.

It will always be Sehun.

Why must it be Sehun?

The D-Day comes by fast, with Sehun setting aside his agony for a while and just focusing for the play in front of his eyes. His palms are wet by sweat, and his heart is thumping with excitement. They are nearing the when the prince (a.k.a Jongin) defeats the dragon (yes, Sehun). Sehun has got his makeup retouched, the thick magenta decorating the vulnerable skin of his lids and his body sparkled with glitter. All he needs to do now is pray a bit, and hope that the mask will not fall when he tosses it high in the air, oh and not for the crepe paper attached on it to fly away.

On the other side of the stage, Jongin is as nervous as Sehun is; his palms as sweaty as Sehun’s except he is wearing a green princely suit instead of a modest purple leotard which happens to be the latter’s costume. Well Sehun likes his costume, but somehow the purple makes him looks like a mini, but in his opinion, a much cooler version of barney. Ugh. As the fact they both are able to see each other, they both wave and mutter “Fighting” to each other as sign of support.

The group that comes before them rushes back inside, signaling that it’s almost time for the finale. Sehun takes a deep breath as he walks a few more steps forward, just right behind the black curtains. Tough he has done this lot of times, he is still nervous, as now his hands are shaking and his knees are trembling. He’s got no time to even pray, the music immediately blasts off, in result of Sehun jolting in nervousness, because the loud cymbal noises mean that his part is already there. At these times, he likes to dance the Gangnam Style with all the shouts and the shake, but the situation is not really helping. He then resorts to imagining Luhan’s face as an attempt to calm himself out.

Soon the drums that sign his appearance disturb his hearing.

He leaps in, a triumphant, snobby smile plastered on his face. Smug, oh yes, but it’s required for his role. His eyes search the crowd, hoping for that certain someone to be there, and yes, she is there waving at him from one of the VIP seats. He flashes her a small smile, and soon Jongin joins him in stage, with a fake sword in his hand. Sehun twirls as an act of provocation, and like what they’ve practiced for countless times, Jongin kicks his leg way up high to the air as he proceeds to chase Sehun in circles. In the middle of running, Jongin does lots of hard moves that even Sehun (which position is as his enemy in this story) looks at him in awe. Sehun doubts that even he were to get that role, he wouldn’t be able to execute it as perfect as Jongin does.

The chasing ends as they come closer and closer to the final, the part where the dragon dies. Jongin is supposed to do a double pirouette before splitting in the middle of the air, and ing his sword at Sehun’s neck. Well, supposed to. Sehun himself is quite sure that Jongin has finished his double pirouette part, but he cannot confirm it by himself, because he is busy moving the mask up and down to emphasize the fact he is dying.

He is closer and closer to the ground, as by now he can already see the ground under his thighs. He ends his part by burying his mask to his half-folded knees. He can hear the cheers and the blackening of his view as the stage goes dark and the curtain falls in front of him.

Everything finally comes to an end.

But the weird thing is that Jongin’s sword is not touching any part of his neck.

And did he just hear a loud ‘crack’?

Everything is answered three seconds after the curtain falls down. Sehun lifts up his mask, ready to congratulate Jongin for his hard work, when Sehun finally realizes the disgruntled facial features of Kim Jongin that looks like he’s in deep pain. He thought he is just joking, but when Jongin collapse to the cold floor of the stage, everything is indeed the real deal.

Sehun can hear Jongin’s cries as Jongin holds both of his feet, and he by reflex screams for help and falls down to his knees to hold Jongin, in an attempt to ease his pain. Everything unwraps in slow motion, like how the important scenes in dramas get muted and slowed down. People rushing in, with frantic expressions in their face, some of them hoisting Jongin up, and some other open his shoes in panic.

Despite all the drama and commotion happening in front of him, Sehun is blank.

Weirdly, he doesn’t feel anything. A part of him feels bad for Jongin, but a part of him feels somehow happy that Jongin got hurt. Positive plus negative equals neutral, or zero. Apparently this law works on him, in a magically weird way that Sehun can’t believe it’s him that thinks about it.

“It’s serious. It’s bad, I’m not kidding. He can’t perform for the last part.”

A voice which Sehun has heard for the past 11 years studying in the ballet school snaps him out of his trance. His ballet teacher is cradling Jongin’s feet in her hands, while her face is in a horrible state as disarrayed as her hair. She runs a hand through her messy locks before scanning the entire place with her eyes, a glint of scariness in it, making anyone gulps when she her eyes goes through theirs. She stops when Sehun reaches her view and points at him.

“Hunna! You auditioned using the last part, right?” Well it is really his teacher for having sharp memory. Sehun did memorize the last part where the prince danced together with the other casts.

“Yes. I did. What do you want from me?” He asks back, confusedly.

“Go change into the spare prince outfit. You are going to dance young man.” She instructs strictly, leaving Sehun astounded.

Again, a mini tropical forest bursts in Sehun’s mind, because for the first time in forever, he gets the role which he has been dreaming on. He’s finally ahead of Jongin!

‘For the frist time in forever, I’m getting what I’m dreaming on…

For the first time in forever, I’d be dancing through the night!’

Okay enough with the Frozen stuffs.

Well, of course a little bit unfair, and so not gentle, but he still gets the role, right? It’s just his good luck, and Jongin’s bad luck. Fortuna has decided to shine on him, so why should he not take the chance?

 “Yes!”

With that a single word slips from his mouth.

By that now Sehun is in the same place as before, behind the black curtains. His knees are trembling, and his fingers are twitching, but there is a genuine, triumphant, not that faked snobby smile on his face. He has been longing for years, and this is the time. 108^th chances do exist Finally, he’s going to dance as Jongin, bathing under the same bright light, feeling what it’s like being the center of attention.

He steps in, placing both of his hands behind his back, ready to get to the starting position.

As soon as the curtain lifts up, Sehun as usual, searches for Luhan that is sitting in the same VIP spot as before. He finds her rather easily, but as his eyes lock with hers, there is a slight twinge of pain in his chest. The look in Luhan’s face- How should Sehun describe it? It is nothing like what Sehun had imagined. Sehun had imagined her to smile bright and proud at him with glittery eyes just like how a kid’s face brightens up when she enters Disneyland.

Disappointment? Sadness? Confusion?

Those should be what she’s been thinking.

With that he founds his face falling, and everything blur afterwards. In a flash of Luhan’s unreadable face, suddenly all the frustration and the pressure, and even all the smugness and cockiness vanish, dissolving into the thin air. He no longer cares about how well he’s about to do; are his legs turned out or not, or whether he recalls his moves or plainly forgets everything. He just feels nothing. Empty all so sudden.

You mean blank? Yeah.

MISCALCULATION MISCALCULATION the story got too long that I have to split it up into three parts huhu. The last part may be a little bit short.