"All of this. The milk, the lunch box, all the gifts. You should stop it, Lu."

Luhan looked at the ceiling in his bedroom.

He had run straight home in the middle of Sehun’s performance.

He didn’t even bother to take the bus.

He tried hard not to cry, but his tears kept flowing.

Fortunately, his mother wasn’t home and his father wouldn’t come home until late at night.

He went to his bedroom and laid on his bed.

Luhan then sat down on his mattress.

He closed his eyes.

"I know your feeling, Lu. But I'm really truly sorry to tell you that I don't feel the same."

“I always know that Sehun doesn’t have that feeling for me, but to hear it from Sehun… Why does it hurt so much?”

“You should stop it, Lu."

“I should really stop now, shouldn’t I?

Luhan opened his eyes.

He stared at Sehun’s poster on his wall.

He had secretly taken Sehun’s photos and printed it out.

He had his bedroom wall full of Sehun’s posters.

They were consisted of many sizes, from the biggest to the smallest, with Sehun’s various expressions.

He walked to the biggest poster and touched Sehun’s face lightly.

Sehun was standing in front of the class and looked right at the camera.

Luhan remembered it was when Sehun gave the announcement about their teacher couldn’t come and they had to do self-study.

Luhan thought that Sehun looked specially more handsome that day with his hair pushed back.

Luhan then took out his camera and took some photos without Sehun realizing.

Just when Luhan ready to take another photo, Sehun looked at the camera.

Sehun had spotted Luhan’s camera and click.

Luhan got the photo with Sehun stared right into the camera.

Luhan grinned and looked at the photo. He was really satisfied with his work, it was the best photo he had ever took.

Sehun sighed at him.

“Luhan, put that camera away and study.”

Looking at the photo for the last time, Luhan put his camera back to his bag and grabbed his book.

He gave Sehun an okay sign and smiled brightly at him, Sehun replied with a small smile.

“I just got the best photo ever.” Luhan whispered to Jongin, he couldn’t hide his happiness.

Jongin shook his head.

“So what? You’re going to print it out again?”

Luhan nodded excitedly.

“You know me really well.”

“I’m gonna make it the biggest size. Aaahhh I’ll never get nightmare with Sehun’s posters in my bedroom.” Luhan said dreamily.

Jongin ruffled his hair.

“Study Lu, study!”

Luhan glared at him.

But soon he smiled his sweetest smile when he looked at the photo again.

A small smile appeared on Luhan’s face.

“Sehun is really handsome.”

He grabbed the edge of the poster.

“I should rip this off, right?”

Luhan blinked and his tears came again.

“I think I can’t-“

Luhan’s phone rang.

Luhan wiped his tears and went to grab his phone.

It was Jongin.

“Luhan-ahh, where are you?”

“Home.”

“! Did that idiot do something? I heard from Kyungsoo that you went to see him after class.”

Luhan slumped down with his back on the wall.

Luhan let out a low chuckle.

“No, Jongin. Sehun didn’t do anything.”

“He played piano and sang for me and I ran away.”

“Then are you okay? You sound so down. Should I come over?”

 “No, I’m not okay.”

“I-“

“Wait… I’ll be there in five minutes. Don’t do anything. Wait for me.”

Jongin hung up.

Luhan stared at the wall again.

He couldn’t avoid it, his wall was literally full of Sehun’s faces.

"That's why I'm telling you to stop. Even though you keep being there for me, I'm afraid that I can't be there for you.”

“But you’re always here, Sehun-ahh.”

Luhan touched his chest.

“I don't have that feeling for you, Luhan.”

“Why? Why don’t you, Sehun-ahh?”

“I'm sorry if it hurts you." 

“If only your sorry can make it less hurtful, Sehun-ahh. Since it cannot, what do I do, Sehun-ahh? It hurts so much. It hurts. I feel like my heart just has been ripped apart.”

“I never imagined it to be this painful. I somehow know that it’s gonna be hurtful. But this is almost unbearable.”

“Luhaaan.” Jongin ran to Luhan.

Luhan looked at him with tearful eyes.

Jongin knelt down beside Luhan.

“You didn’t even lock the door, you idiot.” Jongin said and hugged Luhan.

Luhan cried harder.

“What do I do, Jongin?” Luhan choked out between his sobs.

Jongin sighed.

“It hurts.”

“Let it out, Luhan-ahh. Don’t let anything remains. Let that feeling out, Lu. Let all your love for Sehun out.”

“I can’t.”

“You can.”

Jongin looked into Luhan’s eyes, encouraging him.

“You can!”

“This feeling… This feeling, I-“

“You should really stop, Lu.”

Luhan looked down.

“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up but rather accepting that there are things that can’t be.”

Luhan knew Jongin was right.

“You can do it.”

Jongin got up and walked to the biggest poster.

“You can start with this.”

Luhan shook his head.

“I really can’t. I-“

“Then start with the smaller one.”

Jongin pointed to the smaller poster.

“It’s going to be hard for you, no doubt. But you have to know what you should really do! You have to get rid of your feeling for Sehun, Lu. You can’t find your happiness in Sehun.”

“I’m always happy just to see Sehun.”

“When you get rid of all of this, believe it or not, your feeling won’t be there anymore. As you throw away those things, you’ll throw away your feeling for Sehun too.”

Luhan looked at the posters.

He gave Jongin a hesitant look.

“Really?”

Jongin nodded.

“Really! Try it. You can start with the smallest piece.”

“You should stop it, Lu."

Sehun’s voice rang in his head.

Luhan gulped.

“… But you should really stop. You've wasted so much time on me uselessly."

Luhan closed his eyes.

Jongin patted his back.

“I know you’re stronger than this, Lu.”

Luhan heaved a long sigh.

“Is this the manly Luhan I know? What are you doing, bro?”

Luhan pouted.

Jongin’s laughter burst.

Luhan pouted even more.

“Come on, Lu.” Jongin pulled Luhan up.

He wiped Luhan’s tears with his handkerchief and gave Luhan a smile.

Luhan looked at him nervously.

“Do I really have to get rid of the posters?”

Jongin nodded firmly.

Luhan sighed.

He walked to the wall beside his desk.

He looked at the smallest poster.

It was Sehun’s side profile.

He was talking with his classmate and Luhan took the photo without him noticing.

Luhan grabbed the edge of the poster and with a swift moment he tore it from the wall.

Jongin walked to him.

“See? It’s not hard at all.”

Luhan gave him a look.

“It’s hard.”

“It’s not that hard. Now, tear it into pieces.”

Luhan looked at Jongin in horror.

“No.” Luhan said.

“But you should-“

“I’ll just put it in somewhere I can’t see it.”

“Are you sure? What if you try to look for it and stick it back again?”

Luhan shook his head.

“I won’t. I know I won’t.” Luhan said.

With a last sad glance, Luhan put the poster into his last drawer.

Jongin smiled.

“Are you hungry, Lu? Do you have something in your kitchen?” Jongin asked as if nothing had happened, as if Luhan wasn’t crying a while ago.

Jongin then walked out, heading to the kitchen, Luhan guessed.

Luhan walked out to follow him.

They ended up eating ramen together and watched TV.

It was dark already when Luhan’s mother came back.

She was surprised to see Luhan and Jongin were still in their uniforms.

Jongin greeted her politely.

She greeted him back and was ready to scold them.

But when she looked at Luhan clearly, she cancelled her intention to do so.

She knew something was wrong with Luhan when he noticed Luhan’s swollen eyes.

“I’ll talk to him later.” She thought.

Jongin then went home after bidding his goodbye to Mrs. Lu and Luhan.

Luhan immediately went up to his room, obviously avoiding his mother.

“Something’s definitely wrong.” She watched him ran up the stairs.

She shook her head.

She knew that Luhan was not the type to hide anything from her.

He would tell her when he was ready.

The next day, Luhan didn’t go to the campus.

He told his mom that he felt sick.

He was really sick though.

“Let’s go to the see the doctor, Luhan-ahh. Are you really that sick? Is it hurt so much?” Luhan’s mom asked worriedly.

Luhan who laid on his bed shook his head.

“Why not? You should get checked up.”

Luhan pouted.

“I don’t think the doctor can heal me, Mom. I feel really sick and it’s so painful.”

Luhan’s mom looked at him with wide eyes.

“Wha—what? What are you talking about Luhan? You make me worry!”

Luhan sighed loudly.

“I have a heart-ache, Mom. I think my heart is broken.”

Luhan’s mom looked at Luhan. She was dumbfounded with agape.

After processing what Luhan said, a smile appeared on her face.

She patted Luhan’s head softly.

“Awww… You need to talk it out to have it healed quickly.”

“I have nothing to talk about, Mom. I’m so tired.”

“It’s okay then.”

“Is it right if time will heal it eventually?”

“A broken heart? No, Luhan-ahh. You have to heal it yourself.”

“How?”

Luhan’s mom shrugged.

“Ask your heart. Only your heart knows what it wants, right?”

Luhan closed his eyes.

“Just take a rest for today, you should go to campus tomorrow, Luhan.”

Luhan grunted.

After patted Luhan’s head and kissed his forehead, Luhan’s mom left him.

When Luhan finally came to the campus, Jongin quickly hugged him and pulled him to the rooftop before their class started.

“Remember this! Don’t try to avoid him, the more you avoid him the more you want to see him.” Jongin told Luhan.

“I’m not trying to avoid him.”

“Then why didn’t you show up in class yesterday?”

“I’m just-“

“Stop it! Just act like usual. You said he told you that you guys could be normal friends, right?”

“Yeah… So, normal friends like you and I?”

“Are you kidding me? No of course! We’re best friends, Luhan-ahh! Best friends!!”

“Isn’t it the same?”

“Of course it’s different! Normal friends are like you and Chen.”

“Huh? But Chen hates me!”

“I don’t think he does. I think he kind of likes you though.”

Luhan frowned.

Jongin nodded.

“He asked me why you didn’t attend the class yesterday.”

“Really? That’s strange.”

“He likes to tease you but he cares for you.”

Luhan frowned deeper.

“He always insults me with his harsh words and you say he cares for me? That’s ridiculous.”

Jongin laughed.

“Ridiculous? Is it? Sehun never cares for you but you-“

“Can you stop it? I’m kind of in a broken-hearted situation here.”

Jongin laughed again and put his hand over Luhan’s shoulder.

“Don’t act so pathetic, bro. Cheer up! Your broken heart healer is here.”

Luhan gave Jongin the are-you-kidding-me look.

“Just see! The cheerful shameless Luhan will be back in no time.”

“So, you also think that I’m shameless.”

“You are! That’s why you are my best friend and I’m so proud of you, Luhan-ahh!”

Jongin then pinched Luhan’s cheeks.

Luhan swatted Jongin’s hands away.

Jongin smiled.

Eventually, a small smiled crept up Luhan’s face.

“Silly!” Luhan said.

They then walked to their class.

And Sehun was in that class too.

Luhan was really nervous to see Sehun.

Sehun was sitting in his usual place at the front row.

Luhan walked to the back.

Sehun was too busy reading his book to notice Luhan.

Jongin grabbed Luhan’s hand and pulled him to the front.

He pushed Luhan to sit down.

Jongin then sat beside him.

They were seated in the front row, four chairs from Sehun.

Jongin smiled at Luhan.

“What are you doing, you idiot!”

Luhan stood up to walk away.

Jongin pulled him down again.

“We are sitting here.”

“No, I don’t want. I-“

“What? Sitting at the back and watch Sehun’s back again?”

Luhan couldn’t say anything.

“This way, you won’t see his back anymore. Don’t look at his way. Just look at the front and you won’t see him at all.”

Luhan gulped.

“It’s not that hard. You can do it, Lu.”

Luhan doubted it.

Soon, Kyungsoo came to the class and he was surprised to see Luhan and Jongin were seated at the front row.

With a bright smile, Kyungsoo approached them and sat beside Luhan.

“Woaahhh… You’re back and now you sit in the front row, Lu. Why is that?”

“I-“

Luhan looked at Kyungsoo and he instinctively accidentally glanced at Sehun who was reading a bo