Donghae is bored.

All of his usual sources of entertainment are currently occupied with things that aren’t entertaining him. Eunhyuk is holed up in a corner desperately trying to study Chinese. Henry is busy scribbling away in his notebook. Even Heechul-Hyung looks busy, wandering around videotaping things on his iPhone.

Donghae wanders over to Henry – he figures he’s the easiest target in the room – and drapes himself over his back.

“Henryyyyyyy,” he drawls into Henry’s ear. Henry wriggles a little at the ticklish sensation, but ignores Donghae. Donghae pouts and decides to try again.

“Henry-ah,” he punctuates the end of the word with a sharp blast of air straight into Henry’s ear, and Henry yelps and flails, dislodging Donghae in the process. Donghae crashes to the ground, staring up at Henry and frowning.

“Hyung! That tickles!”

Donghae grins up at him.

“My bad,” he says as he picks himself up off the floor. As Henry settles back down to work, Donghae once again drapes himself over his back.

“Henry,” he whines, “Pay attention to me.”

Henry groans, temporarily abandoning his writing and pushes his notebook away. He crosses his forearms on the table and drops his head down onto them in exasperation.

“What, Hyung?”

Donghae pauses, and then leans further over Henry to try to peek at the notebook.

“Whatcha doooooin?” he asks, a cheeky grin breaking out over his face, and Henry sighs.

“I’m writing, Hyung. It’s work. I’m trying to figure out the English lyrics for my song.”

“What’s it about?”

“I don’t even know anymore,” Henry mutters, and Donghae giggles at him, “Metaphors or something?”

“Ooooh, you should write something about puppies! Or kittens! I love puppies and kittens!”

“Hyung,” Henry turns his head to catch Donghae’s excited beam and glare at him, “I can’t just write a song about puppies and kittens.” Donghae pouts again.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s supposed to be a serious song.”

“Puppies and kittens could be serious,” Donghae informs him gleefully, “And I even know how to say them in English!” Henry gives him a look.

“Puppies! Kittens!” Donghae announces in English, beaming down at Henry, proudly, “See!” Henry looks far less enthusiastic about Donghae’s amazing English abilities than Donghae feels he should be at the moment.

“Hyung,” Henry whines, pushing himself upright even though Donghae stubbornly refuses to shift off his back, “This song is supposed to be serious and full of like, I don’t know, angst or something. What am I supposed to do with puppies and kittens?” Donghae pouts again.

“I don’t know. Write about sad kittens. That’s angsty, right?”

“Sad kittens?” Henry asks him incredulously.

“A sad kitty in a cage,” Donghae warbles at the top of his lungs, earning matching glares from Eunhyuk and Heechul as his noise interrupts their work.

“Hyung, the only part of that sentence that was in English was the kitty bit.”

“Well excuse me for not being fluent in English Mr Child Genius I-speak-three-languages.” Henry scowls.

“Well what am I supposed to do with that sentence then?” Henry demands.

“I don’t know, translate the rest of it?” Donghae muses, digging an elbow into Henry’s back to prop his chin on one hand and ponder. Henry snorts.

“Like a kitty in a cage,” Henry says at him in English.

“I don’t know what you just said,” Donghae informs him.

“You’re the one who just told me to translate what you said to English!” Henry glares at him. Donghae glares back.

“Well, it didn’t sound as good as when I said it in Korean,” Donghae informs him, “You’re terrible at metaphors.”

“You don’t even know what I just said!” Henry half-shouts incredulously.

Eunhyuk shushes them furiously, glaring at them from his corner.

“I don’t need to know what you said,” Donghae says, lowering his voice a little, “I just know it didn’t sound as good as when I said it.” Henry throws his hands up in frustration, collapsing against the table once more with a frustrated moan.

“I give up!”

“It’s okay Henry. We can’t all be as good at metaphors as I am,” Donghae pats him on the head condescendingly.

And with that, Henry snaps. He pushes Donghae off him, stands up, and whirls around, advancing on a startled Donghae. He pokes him in the chest, and Donghae takes a step back in surprise.

“You think you’re the one who is good at metaphors?” Henry whispers at him furiously, “I am the metaphor King! If there was a competition for coming up with metaphors, I would be the international champion. You can’t even dream of being as good at metaphors as I am!” He punctuates every sentence with a sharp poke to Donghae’s chest, as Donghae just stares at him, his eyebrows high on his forehead, listening to Henry in disbelief.

“Oh really?” Donghae asks, crossing his arms across his chest, staring down at Henry condescendingly, “Well I am better than you at Korean-“

“You are Korean! That’s not even a fair-“

“And I am better than you at cooking,” Donghae announces.

“Donghae, please, I’m trying to study,” Eunhyuk whines from his corner, but both Donghae and Henry ignore him.

“At cooking?!” Henry’s voice is getting higher in pitch, and his face is turning red.

“Yep. I am the king of cooking. You should see my shish kebabs,” Donghae smirks, and Henry snarls at him.

“I have never seen you make shish kebabs, but if we ever did have to make them, mine would be better!” Donghae gasps in shock.

“You take that back!” he glares down at Henry.

“Never!”

“Take it back!”

“No!”

Donghae growls and pushes Henry. Henry stumbles backwards in shock a few steps, his eyes wide in his face.

“You pushed me!” Donghae pouts sulkily.

“You deserved it!”

“Guys, can you please stop fighting?” Eunhyuk tries again. He cringes when both heads whip around to face him.

“No!” both Donghae and Henry chorus at the same time.

Eunhyuk’s lower lip starts to quiver. Tears are gathering at the corner of his eyes. Donghae turns on Henry.

“Oh my God, you made Eunhyuk cry!” Donghae yells at Henry.

“No I didn’t!” Henry shouts back, “That was your fault!”

“I would never make Hyukkie cry!”

“Well it looks like you just did!”

“Why you little-“

“IF YOU IDIOTS DON’T SHUT UP RIGHT NOW I WILL MAKE ALL OF YOU CRY!” A voice suddenly thunders, and Henry and Donghae are abruptly reminded that Heechul was also in the room. Their rage dissipates instantly, replaced by terror. They turn slowly to see a stormy faced Heechul advancing towards them. He stops centimetres away from the bickering pair, livid with rage.

“You!” he hisses at Henry, “Your metaphors are stupid!” Donghae snickers at this, and Heechul whips his head around to face him instead, killing the giggles instantly.

“And YOU! You can’t put a cucumber on a stick and call it a shish kebab!”

He grabs the pair of them by their ears and they both let out twin yelps of pain.

“You are just as ridiculous as each other. You deserve each other’s stupidity. I on the other hand, definitely do not deserve to be saddled with such stupid, ungrateful, irritating Dongsaengs!” Heechul gives them both a shake for good measure.

“Now. You two are going to apologise to each other, and to Eunhyuk, and then you are going to spend the next hour thinking about how you’re going to make it up to me for irritating the out of me and ruining my instagram video,” He leans in closer to them and practically hisses, “Do I make myself clear?”

Henry and Donghae nod desperately, anything to placate the angry Heechul.

“Good.”

Heechul finally releases their ears, and the pair groan in relief and try to rub some feeling back into their poor ears.

Heechul gives them one last glare and then storms off out of the room. But before he reaches the door, he turns back. Donghae and Henry cringe, but Heechul storms in the direction of Eunhyuk instead.

“And you!” he points a finger accusingly at a watery-eyed Eunhyuk, “Give me back my shirt!”

Eunhyuk bursts into tears, nodding desperately.

Heechul nods in satisfaction, before storming out of the room again, slamming the door behind him.

The room is dead silent. Donghae and Henry look at each other. Donghae clears his throat.

“Sorry, Henry,” he mutters, holding out his arms which Henry steps into, accepting the hug.

“That’s okay,” Henry mumbles into his chest, “Holy Heechul-Hyung is scary.”

Donghae grins, releasing Henry with a final pat on the back.

He turns towards Eunhyuk, who is still crying in his corner, his head buried in his hands. Donghae feels a pang of guilt, and he rushes over to Eunhyuk’s side to comfort him, Henry close on his heels. It takes them a good fifteen minutes, but they eventually manage to get Eunhyuk to calm down and stop crying, and Henry stays with him to help him with his Chinese. Henry tells him that he can spend the rest of the hour thinking about how to placate Heechul.

“You started all this,” Henry informs him with a glare when Donghae protests, “You can fix it. Unless you think you’re good enough to help out Eunhyuk with his Chinese.”

Donghae has to admit defeat on that point.

Oh well. At least trying to figure out how to make Heechul-Hyung not mad at them anymore will keep him entertained for a while.

Point to Donghae.