Chapter 2: Hi there~ I actually found this through your request on the reviews page so I came and had a look. I ask that you take my opinions below as suggestions and not in any way degrading towards your piece or writing style. ^^
1.) I agree with ExoticDreams that your story had a good flow and plot line, the transitions were smooth for the most part and the only thing I would pick on momentum-wise is the differentiation between the 'thoughts' , "dialogue", and the actual narrative. Maybe that whole All Caps could have been edited a bit so as not to stick out quite as much?
2.) Find a good Beta for your stories. You have a very wide range of vocabulary which is refreshing, and some of your quotes (correct me if they are your own lines) were amazingly poetic, but your grammar does need a little help here and there, although it doesn't take away anything major from your plot but can be distracting.
3.) Subject matter. Although the Kris Scandal was really big and many fans reached out in support, I've noticed that not many of fanfics that include it in the plot line get noticed/ viewed. So in your case it may just be that the subject didn't attract too many viewers, plus a lot of readers are ghost-readers or just more interested in the ;) . Don't get discouraged or feel like you have to change writing styles to gain a big following, build up a good style and sense of what you like to write and readers will follow.
I hope that helped more than it annoyed you, I meant it all in a constructive way and look forward to your next work!
Comments