The show had just ended. Kyungsoo was sitting in front of his mirror. The make up was still on and he was still in his ballgown. It had been a really good night. Many had come to see the show in the tiny theater in Itaewon. He had been the right performer. He had amused the crowd with his over the top personality and persona. Everything about D.O-Lish was just kind of out there. She was everything that Kyungsoo was not. She was beautiful. funny and a true queen. Kyungsoo had never been that. He had always been the kid that people never noticed. He was a wallflower that never seemed to get a ing break. 

*Flashback*

Kyungsoo was packing his bags. He was so done with this city and this family. He couldn't do it anymore, because of the judgement coming from his parents and friends. Coming from a small town is hard, because there is no room to stand out or be different. He was bullied for liking make up, he was bullied for liking men and was bullied for being him. Nothing was really working out in his favor so he just needed to escape. To escape to a place where being different could actually be an asset to a person and not a negative thing. 

His parents said he would never be anything great but he begged to differ. He would be great and he would show them that they had been wrong all along. They would be sorry when he was a star. He hoped so at least. He was rather scared about being on his own for the first time in his life, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to it. Being the only child of a priest and a housemaker, he didn't get to stand on his own two feet. His life was basically decided for him. His father was dead set on him studying theology, so he could follow his footsteps and become gods servant. Kyungsoo didn't really think that sounded very fun, since he was pretty sure, if there even was a god, he would not condone of his lifestyle. You know, being gay and ocasionally wearing womens clothing did not really scream priest!

"KYUNGSOO" he could hear his father screaming and shortly after he heard a door slam. He had to be fast if he wanted to escape his fathers dissaproving speech about how he would never excell in such a buisness and that he was a sinner. He didn't really feel like getting this speech, since he had heard it ever since he had told his parents what he wanted to do. As you can imagine they did not take it very well. So to avoid this confrontation, he had opened the window of his room and had put a note on his bed. He took one last look around the room. "Goodbye" he whispered. And then he was gone.

Mom, Dad

When you read this I am on my way to Seoul. I have money and a plan, so please do not interfere. Even though I think this will be the last time you will ever hear from me, I would like if you would one day be able to come to Seoul and watch my performace. I know it will be highly unlikely, but just know that you are most welcome to come and see me. I do love you even though you think I'm a disgrace to the family name. I hope you will live well. 

- Kyungsoo

*Present Day*

He coule feel his fingers twitching, which meant he had to act fast. He went to his bag and found the little bag with the white powder. In the beginning he said he would only try it out and then never do it again. Sadly thats not quite how herion works. It becomes like a shadow, which little by little takes over your entire body. Kyungsoo wasn't an addict, no. He was just using it as a recreational drug, which would help make up charathers or things to do on stage. He tried it once, then twice, then once a month, then once a week and now daily. He used to blame all of this on his ex, who had provided him with more and more. 

*Flashback*

Kyungsoo was wandering the streets of Seoul. He had now been here for a few months and things seemed to be taking a turn for the better. He had found a place to stay and he was regularly doing shows at clubs as D.O-Lish. He was actually enjoying his life very much at the moment. His parents had not once tried to contact him, so even though he knew it was not something he should be expecting, he did have a small hope about one day seeing them sitting in the audience. Just them being there would be enough for him. But his father was to conservative for his own good, so it would never in a million years happen. But a person has to dream right? 

At one point in the evening he stumbled upon a small park, where he decided to stroll throug. This pleasure stroll was cut short when he heard screams coming from behind some trees. He ran towards the sound, scared of what he would find there. He reached the source of the  screaming and saw a man lying, face down, on the ground. 3 men were beating the body senseless and were throwing punches. "Hey!" Kyungsoo yelled and stormed towards the men "I will call the police if you don't go now!" He said coming closer. The men looked at each other, threw some cuss words at Kyungsoo but went away anyways. And this was how he met Ubel. 

It was also the beginning of a very toxic relationship between Kyungsoo and Ubel. For some reason Kyungsoo felt himself being drawn towards him, even though he was warned about Ubel being no good for him. But the heart wants what the heart wants. And Kyungsoo wanted Ubel. It was after a few weeks of being together, that Kyungsoo discovered Ubel's secret. 

"Soo. I can give it up any time! I can! Please just... don't leave me okay? I swear I will give it up. I'll got to rehab. I'll change!" Ubel had pleaded for Kyungsoo to stay with him, even though he knew Kyungsoo was too weak to be by himself. Ubel had some kind of invisible grip around Kyungsoos heart. So even though he knew that he was being used, he couldn't shake the feeling of Ubel needing him. And that's how it all started. In the beginning he just tried it to see why Ubel loved it so much. He should never have done that, because after experiencing that feeling, he needed to have it more and more. And so he ended up just like Ubel, using every single day and not being able to stop. 

But even though Ubel was so bad for him, Kyungsoo loved him dearly. He was funny, charming and totally supportive of his life as D.O-Lish. He even came to almost every show to show his support and Kyungsoo fell harder and deeper in love  with him every day. But the poison was too much.
It didn't last long before people were beginning to worry about Kyungsoo, who was getting skinnier and skinnier. He used to be such an outgoing person but suddenly he couldn't function properly without either being high or being around Ubel. He was no longer the social butterfly he once was. It was like he had exchanged that for a persona, who was as far from who Kyungsoo used to be. Even his friends tried to talk sense into him, but it did little. 

"Kyungsoo. Can't you see that you are getting yourself into something you can't get out off?" Junmyeon said to him. Junmyeon and Jongdae were holding some kind of intervention for Kyungsoo, which he found utterly ridiculous. "Guys. There is nothing wrong with me! I am fine" he tried convincing them that he had actually never been this happy in his life, but they did not believe a single word coming out of his mouth. "Soo, don't you get it? Ubel has this power over you. You are like a puppet to him! You know he is a no good person. What he is, is a ing scumbag, who most definetly does not deseve you." Kyungsoo was tired of this conversation. They had it at least once a week. They just didn't get it. Ubel wasn't a bad guy, he was the most supportive person in his life and he loved him. "No Jongdae." Kyungsoo stated firmly "Ubel loves me and supports me in everything I do. And we have absolutely no problem at all! So please shut up about that, because I don't want to hear it anymore". Jongdae sighed and gave Junmyeon a look. "Soo" Junmyeon said "We are just worried. We don't want to get a call from the police, telling us you have been killed or taken an overdose. Just please let us get you some help and get you out of this place!" He pleaded. Kyungsoo tiredly closed his bag and swung up on his shoulder. 

"No" 

And then he was gone 

*Present day*

He leaned his head back and felt the drugs taking their effect. God he loved it. He loved it so much. The drugs were his best friend in the world. Nothing could make him feel so good as the heroin could. When everyone else failed him, the heroin was a friend he could always count on. He ing hated it. He ing hated that he could never be free of it's power. He had tried so many times, but it never seemed to work out. He had been put in rehab by Junmyeon and Jongdae against his will. Even though he stayed clean for about 2 months afterwards, Ubel was in his life and it all went to again.

So he sat there in his underwear and lipstick comepletely high on his fix. He could not function whilst being high. So all he could do was just sit there. He cherished this time so much, because it meant that he did not have to think and he did not have to feel, because thinking would make him remember Ubel, and remembering Ubel was in itself really ing hard. Because Ubel wasn't here and Kyungsoo was still madly in love with him. He never thought he would be able to stop loving him. No one had ever been so supportive of him as Ubel had been. And even though they did have their fair share of fights, Kyungsoo knew in his heart that Ubel would always love him. Those other guys he had been with meant nothing, just like he told Kyungsoo every time he came home.

*Flashback*

"I swear Soo, he meant absolutely nothing to me." Ubel was pleading. Again. Kyungsoo had heard this entire speech all too often. It would always start with Ubel coming home late. He would then proceed to fall to his knees in front of Kyungsoo and beg for him to forgive. It was a smart move, because Ubel knew Kyungsoo would always accept him again. He would then go on and say it was because he had been feeling distant from Kyungsoo, since he wasn't really using as much anymore, and that he did not feel the same connection he did when they were both high. This would somehow lure Kyungsoo to use even more just to feel close to Ubel again, which meant Ubel had total control over Kyungsoo by manipulating him. 

*Present day*

It wasn't like Kyungsoo hadn't tried to get over Ubel but he was just so far under his skin, that Kyungsoo didn't know how to be his own person anymore. This was why the drugs came in handy. He could block it all off and just be happy, even if it was just for a few hours. He didn't have to think about his parents, Junmyeon and Jongdae. But he most definetly did not have to think about Ubel. Because thinking of him would make Kyungsoo miss him so god damn much and he knew there was nothing he could do to get him back. He had been gone for over 2 years, but the years felt like days for Kyungsoo. Those 2 years were the worst in his life. He had alianated those who were once his friends and had abandoned all hope of his parents ever coming to find him. He was practically alone in a world where he never really did fit in.

He was so tired. He could feel his eyelids close and the weight on his lungs was getting heavier. But he wasn't scared. The same thing had happened to Ubel. 

*Flashback*

"Soo. I'm so tired" Ubel whispered to Kyungsoo who was high too. They were laying in their apartment after having their fix. "Sleep a bit Ubel" Kyungsoo said, shrugging it off as just a side effect of the new variety of heroin they had been provided from their dealer. It was the best stuff they had ever had.

"Okay"

That was Ubels last words, because when Kyungsoo woke up the next day he was looking right at Ubels pale white face. It was too pale.

The doctors called it an overdose, but Kyungsoo called it mothering unfair. Sitting there in the apartment crying, he felt his whole world shatter. Everything he had built up was gone now. The one man he had loved with all of his soul had been taken away from him way too soon. They were supposed to get better together. They were supposed to figure out all of their together. Not like this. What did Kyungsoo have now? No family, no friends. Nothing. 

*Present day*

He could feel himself being taken longer and longer into the darkness. But it was okay. He never again wanted to feel like he did that day. He as being taken to the place he loved. He was being taken to Ubel. For some reason he had an idea that Ubel was going to be standing there, arms wide open, smiling at him. Oh, he did wish that was going to happen. 

"...NGSOO!" Someone was calling for him. He could feel himself being shaken. "SOO!" That voice. That voice was so familiar to him. Why was it? It wasn't Ubel, nor Junmyeon or Jongdae. Who was it?

He knew the voice, but he couldn't wake up. He didn't want to.

It was all just a little bit too late. He had nothing left to give, nothing left to feel. He was just used up.

Too. Late.

---------------------------

"Excuse me sir. We need to take him now!" The paramedic said. He looked down on the pale boy lying in his arms. He was the cheek, which had long ago lost the chubbiness. He was skin and bones now. He was nothing like he once had been. He cried looking at the paramedic with a helpless expression. "I was too late!" He said, pressing the boy further towards himself. "I... I.." He couldn't finish the sentence. He had come too late. He was going to sit ther in the front of the crowd to see him perform. He was being punished for all the things he had done wrong. And now he had been to late to save him. 

To save his son.

---------------------------

I don't ever wanna feel, Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love, Take me all the way