The Tales of Beedle the Bard

Daeun carefully closes the book and puts it neatly on the bedside table. She treasures the book a lot and even treats it as if it was the Bible. She remembers the person who gave it to her ―he no longer wanted to keep the book, he bought it just because he was able. Now that she thinks about him again, that spot somewhere in her chest is trembling and she tries hard to keep her breathing stable.

Her heart itches due to the ticklish pain and she starts feeling sentimental. Ah, females were born to be sensitive over melancholic things, after all. She looks at the blue-covered book again, then throws her sight to the shelves standing against the wall. She cynically laughs although nothing around seems comical.

Maybe it's just her insecurity but she can no more cry miserably. She was just a part of his life that came ephemerally. No matter how much she treasures him as something she never gets to have, he'll never know and just smile at her innocently. This is just how her life works, apparently.

He gave her many books, but she only wanted his heart. She never dares to ask because she doesn't want to end up apart. They share a long friendship, they still do, so her feelings must be put aside. She knows every little thing about him, but he never understands her inside.

She always breathes him in no matter how much she wants him out. Oh, how she wishes the words could just come out of . Everything is nothing but a doubt. She doesn't even know what this is all about.

Jung Daeun will always be Jung Daeun, although she is partially Andrea Choi, temporarily Danni, and occasionally JD.

And he will always be just him.

Her meeting with him earlier today explains it all, that there's this thin line between them although everything seems fine. He's fine with it, but she's not. Not when she's the only one holding back, and he's the only one not knowing.

October 2012 ― Asphyxier

"Over here!"

Daeun didn't even need the shout-out to announce Sehun's presence in the bubble tea shop because his glorious height already did the magic. Daeun smiled. Sehun must've been there for almost ten minutes already.

Euigoo, this kid.

"Annyeong, Sehun-ie," Daeun sat across Sehun and dropped her bag on the table. "A bit long here?"

Sehun looked up and his gaze met Daeun's face. He wasn't wearing his glasses, so she just tipped her glasses and raised her eyebrows to him. He stopped slurping from his almost empty cup and grasped another one on the table. Daeun wondered if one of those five bubble teas belonged to her as his treat, then what would he do with the other three? No, the other two left. He'd taken two on his own.

"You said you were already here," Sehun complained. "But I've been waiting. Alone."

Daeun took off her glasses, put it neatly on the table, and grabbed a chocolate bubble tea on her own.

"Come on, I said I'm sorry," Daeun slurped once. "Consider I've always been here. My school is just a block away but I didn't come here earlier to sit around like a fool. You still have this habit of coming late."

Sehun furrowed his eyebrows in disagreement. "I'm a punctual person. Blame the traffic," he excused. "Beside, you always know I don't like being alone in public, right?"

You don't say. Jung Daeun always knows when it comes to Oh Sehun, especially this one. Sehun always bugs Daeun to come to the place first whenever they're going out together.

"Come on. I know, but grow up!" Daeun argued. "People might be looking at you because you're frigging tall. Their gazes won't tear your face apart so don't worry, Oh Sehun."

"Still, having people looking at me isn't comfy," Sehun still managed to rebut. "By the way, Danni-ya, I didn't see you around when I came to Seunghwa Fall Festival last week. Why? Didn't you come? It was really cool! Aigo~ Your school has smart and hard-working kids, indeed."

Daeun slurped a little from her chocolate bubble tea as she listens to Sehun. Her friends already told her (enough) about his presence in the celebration and she already had a well-prepared script in store. Just like always.

"I didn't feel like going."

She came, actually, to watch her little brother's performance from a corner ―that makes her sound like an illegal audience. Their mother and her elder brother were neatly seated among the audiences, but she refused to come along with them.

"Ah, wae~"

"You know Umma is very strict, right?" Daeun said in a matter-of-fact tone. "The shows ended at 11. Cinderella had to go home when it hit 12, but Umma will never let me off above 9. The gates were open at 6 so even if I came, I'd only spend 2 hours there. The ticket was expensive too. Euigoo, such a great troublesome waste if I came."

                "JD, why didn't you come yesterday? Your dongsaeng's dance performance was great! How could you miss that~"

                "I came, Hyeri-ya. You just didn't find me."

                "Really? Then, uh, your ex... Oh Sehun? He came last night. Did you see him? I saw him with Ji Hansol from 3-4."

                "Ah, really? Did he come?"

                "Omo... Don't talk like you didn't know he would. Sehun and Hansol seemed like they were looking for you."

                A skeptical laugh.

                "I don't think so. Kids from Seungwon, Seungsoo, and other schools came too, right? Sehun and Hansol have many mutual friends so maybe they were having a little reunion with others. Why would they look for me? Tsk."

                "But still... You should've come to them, JD-ya."

                Sigh.

                "No, Hyeri... Sehun was one of the reasons why I didn't show up. I knew he'd come so I didn't show up. Even if I did, and he really looked for me, he'd neglect me a second later. Last year was like that."

                "What, you're still mad at him? Because of... the break-up?"

                "No. There's no reason to be mad. We broke up a couple years ago. I barely remember about my previous relationship with him."

                White lie.

                "Such a loss... I honestly pity you for letting him slip off your hands."

                Daeun pitied herself too.

                "You talk as if he's some kind of slippery eel. Why'd you pity me, Lee Hyeri? Because he's handsome?"

                "Of course!! Owmaigat, JD, he is extremely handsome! And tall! He, he totally stood out in the middle of the crowd. How can God create such a demigod? Omo~ He must be as tall as Chanyeol Sunbae~"

                "Euigoo... Just take him home with you."

"Oh... Okay," Sehun slowly nodded.

Come on. Sehun alone was the sole reason.

Daeun smirked to herself. She really was a two-faced liar. She told a story to somebody, and told another completely different version to somebody else. There were too many lies and she couldn't name which one was true anymore. She was engrossed too deep in believing the lies she made because she forgot her own truth.

But she knew for sure her heart was still left for him. Daeun was still breathing Sehun in whenever she wanted him out. He might not be her oxygen, but she hoped he was the hydrogen to her hydroxide.

"If only kids in my school could hold a little better festival. Seungwon's art festivals ," Sehun commented.

"Come on. It ain't that bad. You were the committee too, twice," Daeun cheered him up. "Anyway, how's it going with Yoongyoong?" she teased. "That hoobae is rea~ally cute."

"You mean him?" Sehun referred to his ex-boyfriend unenthusiastically. "Ah, we're done."

The whole bubble tea shop was buzzing due to the customers' loud chitchats but inner silence caught Daeun in a split of second. She raised her eyebrows and slightly tilted her head aside.

"You..." Daeun spit out carefully, "...broke up with him?"

Sehun pouted like a rubber duck as he nodded, but he quickly straightened up his face. "He dumped me. He even told me he's been seeing someone else before he called it quit with me."

"Ouch," Daeun murmured under her breath. "That must hurt."

"Worse than ever," Sehun puffed his cheeks.

This started getting awkward. Sehun only told her he wanted to see her since he happened to come around her school but she didn't expect him to drag her into this kind of 'heart-to-heart' talk.

Daeun herself was lacking heteroual relationship experiences so she didn't know what to say regarding to Sehun's first yet failed homoual relationship. She knew that he was gay even before she dated him once upon a time ―and she was just as straight as the straw she was chewing.

Now what do I do?

"We started out fine, Danni," Sehun began, "He's a spoiled brat, sometimes ignorant, but I care about him a lot. I really like taking care of him when he's being all clingy because it feels like I'm dependable for him... He comes to me nagging about his friends and homework, I bug him whether he eats and sleeps and studies well... I even came to his house last week..."

That was really, really romantic that it literally made Daeun choke on her bubble tea. Why? Because Sehun never did any of those things when he was dating her and this sounded eerie (somewhat) because Sehun did those for a boy.

"What did you do there?"

"I went there to tutor him math, French, and Hanja. And, well, yeah... to spend some quality time with him."

Sehun plus his boyfriend in an empty house... No.....

"He, you..." Daeun nervously cleared , "His parents were home?"

Sehun nodded, "I met his mom and she asked me to have dinner there."

Since Sehun said that his ex's mother was home when he visited, that meant Sehun did tutor him with no other intentions. For God's sake, Daeun had to get her mind straight. Thank God Sehun was as oblivious as ever. Phew.

An awkward silence enveloped the two of them for a moment.

"Maybe... Maybe... Maybe you're just not meant to be with him," were the only words Daeun could find to say. "Remember the time you had a crush on Lee Chanhee Sunbae and he seemed crooked? But you chose to go after this hoobae. A chance to back out to Lee Chanhee?"

"I don't know, Daeun-ie. Chunji Hyung, I mean Chanhee Sunbae, might be a bi. He's hanging around Dasom Noona lately and it seems like they're gonna date soon."

Daeun nodded in silence but it was hard to neglect the pain all over Sehun's eyes. She couldn't believe she was trapped in this situation. She knew how it hurt, when somebody she loved turned their back to her. She'd been through that ―a lot. But once again, her condition was different from his condition. This young guy before her eyes was desperate for love. Love...

Daeun could actually give him enough love, but her heart was never what he needed. Since when was the world fair? He didn't even know that she had this presentable heart for him only ―sealed in a gift box called anxiety, with heartache as the wrapper, tied by a pretty ribbon named insecurity.

What the hell are you thinking, Daeun Jung? Don't pity yourself and just spoil him with random recommendations to go after!

"What about... Mark?" Daeun suggested unsurely. "Maybe you can start out with him?"

Sehun emptied out his second bubble tea and his hand went for the third. He looked straight at Daeun for a second before focusing back on his bubble tea.

"He's our friend, Daeun-ie," Sehun shook his head. "Oh Sehun, Jung Daeun, Jung Soojung, Kang Jiyoung, Mark Tuan, Lee Taemin... The six of us."

This time Daeun didn't get the point. "Then? You already know that he has the, the... same condit―"

Sehun jolted his lower lip as he brought his head down. He didn't even spare a look at Daeun when he threw his sight to the open doors.

"We all have been friends for so long. I just don't think relationships that start with friendships will do."

Those simple straightforward words stabbed Daeun so deep. Deep. He innocently stabbed that spot somewhere in her chest with an invisible dagger called honesty.

"Yeah, guess so..." Daeun nodded agreeing with her usual blunt reaction.

Then Sehun's phone rang out of nowhere.

"Mwohae? Ah, ne, I'm on table 5 near the painting with my friend. Ne~"

Daeun was not deaf to hear the whole Sehun-ish aegyo-ey conversation.

"Oh. Se. Hun," Daeun spelled sternly then wore back her glasses. "You didn't tell me you'd bring a friend."

Sehun questioned back with his eyes, "I did, the last message."

Daeun rolled her eyes. She was too busy running from Seunghwa High School to Perle Bubble tea Shop to check Sehun's last message.

"Sehun-ie!"

A girl, nearly as tall as Daeun, jogged to their table. Daeun briefly scanned her from head to toe. The long-haired girl was wearing the same uniform as Sehun so Daeun knew that she was his schoolmate. But Daeun wasn't sure if she really was a student, because she dressed rather like an ulzzang than a scholar. The girl's make-up, highlighted hair, high-insoles, and fake glasses couldn't fool Daeun.

"Here you are. Take a seat."

The girl undoubtedly dragged a chair close to Sehun and sat herself next to him, shamelessly flaunting sugar-coated smiles with both eyes and lips to him. Daeun was irritated, sure. Such a Seungwon student. It's not that Daeun looked down on Sehun's school. Seungwon High definitely had smart kids too there, Sehun for example. The only thing Daeun looked down was that girl. Daeun bet she barely had books in her pretty handbag.

There must be eyeliner and lipgloss instead of pencils and notebooks in her tiny bag. Tsk, this kind of girl doesn't even study at school.

"Aigo, I've been rude for not noticing you. Annyeong haseyo," the girl bowed her head to Daeun but quickly turned to Sehun. "Sehun-ie, who is this?"

Thank goodness Daeun still had manners and pride to keep up. If not, she'd probably snap her out and introduced herself without waiting for Sehun to do so.

"This is my friend, Jung Daeun. She's from Seunghwa High," Sehun introduced, "Daeun-ie, this is Kaeun my classmate."

"Oh, jinjja? Annyeong haseyo, Lee Kaeun imnida."

"Jung Daeun imnida," Daeun shortly smiled and nodded.

There was no need for Daeun to introduce herself as JD or Andrea Choi. Daeun was sure she pretty much wouldn't see this girl again in the future. Hope so.

"Bangapseumnida," the girl nodded in return. "I've heard about Seunghwa students a lot. Daeun-ssi, you must be a smart student."

"Anya. I'm just an average student," Daeun shrugged it off. "Sehun here is smarter. He speaks French well and he tops a lot of entrance exam trials."

"Mwohae~" Sehun chuckled. "What are you saying... No, Kaeun-ah, Daeun here is smart, really. Her English is amazing."

Daeun just staid laidback and waited for Sehun to say more things about her to this so-called Kaeun. She knew Sehun liked to babble good things about his friends to others (like when he said that Daeun's smart) but let's see if he'd also share about his longtime friendship with Daeun.

No?

No.

Sehun didn't. It ended there.

Oh, come on. Sehun only introduced Daeun to Kaeun as 'his friend', not more or less. He didn't even say that he went to the same middle school with Daeun. He didn't even say that Daeun was once―

Of course. Sehun didn't even let his friends know that he had a friend named Jung Daeun so why should they know that she was his ex-girlfriend? Yes, none of Sehun's schoolmates knew he had a longtime friend named Jung Daeun from Seunghwa High and they didn't know he once dated that Seunghwa kid.

"You both are Eun," Sehun handed Kaeun a taro bubble tea, "Daeun-ie, Kaeun-ie,"

"We know," Kaeun giggled. "Such a coincidence, right, Daeun-ssi?"

"Ne," Daeun unresponsively nodded. "I come with that a lot."

Daeun was nodding too much over things she didn't give a damn about that day. The next thing Daeun knew was Kaeun too busy catching Sehun's attention with random chatters and she was too lazy to jump in to the fast-changing topics.

"This place is nice. No wonder why you like hanging out here, Sehun-ie."

Daeun furrowed her eyebrows at Sehun. The Sehun that Daeun knew didn't really like hanging out far from home since his house was somewhere near the outskirt of town. That's what she always knew. This freaking Perle Bubble tea Shop is wan the center of the city, for God's sake.

'I don't know you come here often,' Daeun mouthed.

'Mostly with you, sometimes with my other friends,' Sehun mouthed back.

"Sehun-ie!"

Sehun automatically turned to Kaeun who was taking off her (fake) glasses and grabbed her phone.

"Ya, let's take some selca."

What a great day. Daeun was definitely dragged here only to be an outcast. Screw that Kaeun girl. It's good that Kaeun noticed Daeun's penetrating gaze to the back of her skull. Daeun meant it.

"Forgive me, Daeun-ssi, I'm just being excited. This place is nice and I don't really play around this district often."

"Gwaenchanh-a-yo," Daeun said, "You must visit Hongdae more than this place, just like all the other kids usually do."

This was the kind of smartness Daeun possessed. She was smart in choosing oblivious words and stressing the right syllable, and her eyes were sure more accusing. Still, Daeun didn't fail to catch the judging look in Kaeun's eyes. Kaeun was just as clever to keep it unseen with her saccharine-sweet smile.

Well, another Grammy-winning actress was in the town.

"Sehun-ie, let's take some selca," Kaeun fixed her bangs. "Won't you join us, Daeun-ssi?"

"No, thanks," Daeun weakly shook her head, "I don't really like taking selca in public."

Again, another lie. She was dying to take a picture with Sehun but she had too much ego to ask him and he never seemed like he wanted a selfie with Daeun either so let's just face it. Sehun did take a lot of selfies with his friends on a regular basis but he never asked Daeun to take one with him. Daeun and Sehun would never be in the same picture ―literally, metaphorically. Daeun couldn't find any reason to join these kids.

"Ah, this is awkward... Daeun-ssi doesn't join us."

Daeun grabbed a random book from her bag and covered her face with it, "Just pretend I'm not here. I just can't take selfies in public, really."

And just looking at how Kaeun leaning close to Sehun as they tried different cute poses really made Daeun want to puke in public.

"'Hanging out with Oh Sehun in Perle Bubble tea Shop. Cool place, isn't it?'" Kaeun spoke to herself as she typed a caption for the picture.

Kaeun put her phone on the table, spared a quick look at Daeun, and looked at Sehun with her sweet giggly face. Daeun dug into her pocket for her phone and pretended as if she just received a text. That was all-around escape plan.

"It's my friend, Hyeri. I'm taking an extra course with her so I need to go,"

"Geurae-yo? You really study a lot, don't you, Daeun-ssi?"

"I don't study as much as Sehun over here. He takes a bunch of extra classes," Daeun pointed at Sehun.

"Daeun..." Sehun trailed off, "Since Daeun is leaving, aren't we leaving too, Kaeun-ah?"

"Fine, but will you go home with me? I'm taking a bus to my mom's office,"

"Sure. I'm heading home with the same bus."

Just go away, you two.

Kaeun was the first to hop off her seat while Daeun was still stuffing her belongings into her bag. Sehun waited until Kaeun walked out the shop before he turned back to Daeun.

"Danni."

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for listening to me earlier. And about Kaeun, I'm sorry, I don't know she is that talkative."

"Relax," Daeun patted Sehun's head. "I am a lot more talkative than she is, but aren't you thankful to her? Because of her, I don't talk too much today."

"Danni..."

"Have a safe trip home. I gotta go. Annyeong, Sehun!"

August 2012 ― Tête-à-tête

"Over here!"

Daeun stood on her tiptoes to search for the source of the voice. She didn't have to, actually, because she found him in the end. Thanks to his tall build.

"Thank God you're finally here. I can't stand being alone."

Daeun had prepared a retort on her way there. How he was being a b*tch for calling her to come in 20 minutes, how people on the streets were being b*tches for causing traffic jams. But then she saw Sehun grinning so adorably, his eyes were smiling along forming cute crescents. There, she fell all over again.

Maybe, somewhere beneath his hearty smile, there was a little space for her in his heart. Maybe, she could finally find a hope. She knew it wouldn't be easy for both of them, but she was willing to accept him for who he was and she was willing to try. She wanted him to start all over again, with her. She'd stay by his side, to let him know that as unconditional as her love was, she'd help him fight.

Cut your crappy thoughts, Daeun Jung. You should get over him, not crawling back to him, Daeun shook the thoughts off her head.

"Ya, Daeun-ie..." Sehun halted himself for a good couple seconds. "I have something to tell you."

The way Sehun looked at her was just so heart-fluttering. The Sehun Kid that Daeun knew was gone somewhere and the Sehun standing in front of her had this handsomely serious look on his gorgeous face.

Daeun could barely breathe.

"What's that?"

Calm down, Daeun. He's not gonna say that crappy fake 'I love you' word. He never did, and he never will. Maybe he'll just ask you to tutor him Japanese or ask you to go shopping books.

"That... Let's go to Starbucks and I'll tell you there. My treat."

The Starbucks offer sounded like fun but Daeun regretted her choice of saying yes. It turned out that the thing Sehun wanted to tell her was that...

...he had a new girlfriend.

She was Sehun's schoolmate, a beautiful gayageum player. Daeun wouldn't deny that his girlfriend was a very lovely girl ―although she hadn't met her yet. As a friend, she was genuinely happy for him. But knowing his brain like knowing the back of her hand, and being aware of her own faint feelings for him, Daeun was honestly not content with his decision. But since when was the world fair? There was nothing she could do but stay next to him to support him when nobody else did.

The puffing cup in her hand didn't feel lingering warm anymore and the delicious coffee no longer tasted so good. The summer breeze was blowing too harsh, in her chest. It was cold in there ―it had always been. It stood out frozen in the middle of the warm season.

"What's her name again?"

"Hong Yookyung."

Daeun stared at his phone again and she still couldn't believe it. Even her name was so damn pretty.

"She's soo cute. How could you get her?"

Sehun bashfully smiled and scratched the back of his head. "I learned how to play gayageum from her this lately. I heard from her friends that she had a crush on me. I actually had my eyes on this sunbae called Lee Chanhee, but I don't know much about him. So, I decided to just mingle with Yookyung."

"I see..." Daeun absentmindedly nodded, "But aren't you feeling guilty? I mean... she doesn't know the truth. She really likes you but you..." she paused hesitantly, "…don't."

Everything became so awkward. Daeun shot her arrow to the center point.

"That's why I told you to come. I... don't really know what to do."

"What the fu―" Daeun quickly composed herself, "Then why did you date her at the first place? I can tell from her twitter's bio that she's 100% into you already. We're near the national final exam and if she breaks down..."

Daeun's voice trailed off and got lost somewhere in the noise. Sehun knew he was worth to blame and Daeun was the right person to blame him.

"Daeun-ie, I heard that you got a scholarship offer to the States."

"Sehun," Daeun retorted grimly. "Come on, don't distract me. You're bad at it."

"Okay, fine! I know she loves me. She gave her heart to me, I don't know what to do with it," Sehun blurts out. "I finally realized I did something wrong when she gave me this beautiful scrapbook. It isn't as pretty as the one you gave me as my birthday present last year, but hers had many heart patterns in it and the 'I love you' words..."

Sehun was the second to lose his voice to the external noise.

"Oh Sehun," Daeun softly called out before she furiously glared at him. "You're an ."

This was the first time Daeun ever used direct profanities to Sehun so he knew right away that she was extremely mad. Extremely.

"Thinking rationally about the consequences, I want you to break up with her immediately," Daeun said. "But considering how much she loves you, I beg you to please hold on a little longer," she demanded the opposite. "At least make her happy and feel loved, even if it's for awhile. You're a criminal when you steal somebody's heart only to damage it."

Sehun understood well that this meant another fake relationship right away. But this time, he has to act up in front of his girlfriend, not with her.

"But won't it be useless if I break up with her in the end?" Sehun argued.

"At least you leave good memories. That makes you less criminal," Daeun rebutted.

"If I break up with her right away?"

"You destroy her heart right away."

Daeun was right. Sehun had done something wrong, so he had to pay the price. He couldn't just crash the heart he had in his hands and left the crime scene with no evidences.

The next three minutes nauseatingly passed by too slow because the chattery Daeun chose to purse her lips shut and let Sehun think straight. She wanted him to think clearly because she wouldn't talk about it anymore. He needed to fix his mess himself.

Sehun tried to get rid of the maddening topic, "Talking about US―"

"Talking about USA, yes, I got the offer," Daeun cut halfway. "Again. I've tried to talk to Umma again."

Sehun knew how it had always been between Daeun and her mother. In fact, he was the only one who knew how it'd been like. Aside of Daeun's brothers, of course.

"Your mom said no again?" Sehun didn't even need to guess.

Daeun let out a long sigh as she played with her cup of coffee. "Yes, she did..." she smiled bitterly, "But I'll find my way, however. USA might sound too good to be true but I'll still fight for it. I've dreamed for it for so long so I gotta keep my faith."

Sehun smiled. He was relieved that Daeun was not losing faith, at least that second. Not anymore, he hoped. He could never bear her when she was down. She'd fallen too often and too deep. As a friend, he couldn't watch her breaking.

"It'll be really awesome. Brain like yours can't be trapped in this place for too long. You totally deserve to be there."

Daeun smiled. Sehun caught a glimpse of contentment in her eyes and he mirrored her smile.

Ah, the spirit is back. That's Jung Daeun I know. Burning.

Had he known, he flickered up her fire. Even with the simplest things he did.

"There's a lot to do once I got there. I'll start writing a list of it and going to Hollywood will be my priority. Oh, you know that my Oppa just got a scholarship to UK too, right? I and Jun must visit him next year. Once I get there, I'll ride the double decker for sure. Then I'll watch Mr. Big Ben tick twelve in the middle of the night. That gigantic grandfather clock is beautiful,"

Sehun wasn't a kind of person who liked to talk about many things. But, having a friend like Daeun who talked a lot and loved to speak randomly when she was in the mood, Sehun could never be more thankful.

"But what if I'm gone? For long?" Daeun raised an eyebrow. "You're sooo gonna miss a friend like me," she teased.

Sehun faintly smiled, "Surely will."

"Joking," Daeun cracked a laugh, not buying his honest confession. "You have a bunch of friends."