The hot pink tiny scrap of paper caught his eye first and he grabbed it. There was a bubbly handwriting, vaguely familiar, and he read the words on it and chuckled. “I like Kim Himchan and I don’t ever want him to know.” He turned the paper around, and unlike all the other secret confessions, this one was, naturally, unsigned. Due to process of elimination, however, he figured out exactly who it was.

            You were sitting at a cafeteria table, finishing up your art homework when a piece of bright magenta post-it fluttered onto the paper. You looked up and saw someone smirking at you. You stared at him for a good moment before picking up the piece of paper, glancing at it and immediately wishing you hadn’t. Your cheeks flamed and you crumpled it in your hand before trying to remain nonchalant.

            “I’m doing my work. What do you want?”

            Himchan slid into the seat next to you and smoothly pushed it over so that his face was at most five centimeters away from you. “I was thinking.”

            “Oh, a miracle has occurred,” you responded dryly and continued sketching out the design for your computer graphic.

            “Ya,” he complained. “I think quite often.”

            “Wouldn’t know that,” you answered him testily. “If the only reason why you’re here is to inform me of your cognitive abilities, I would ask you to kindly leave because you are quite frankly wasting my time.”

            Himchan pouted and slid his face even closer to you. He placed his elbows on the table and stared. “So, when were you planning on telling me?”

            “Telling you what?” The crumpled post-it was still in your sweaty palm and you could feel every edge of the paper dig into your skin.

            “That you liked me.”

            “I did, technically. You obviously know now.”

            “Yeah, through some confessions box we did in freaking seventh grade!”

            “Well, now you know. Better late than never I guess. That would be your philosophy, right?” You were still trying to control your heartbeat. This was too sudden. You thought you had buried this secret when you slipped the paper into his wooden box those five years ago.

            He touched your paper and you snapped your teeth at him. “Hey, don’t touch what isn’t yours. You’re going to ruin the design and then I’ll have to spend forever trying to perfect it again.”

            “You were always good at art,” he commented and you felt your old childhood crush begin to peek its way from the coalmines you had tried to bury it in.

            “How’d you know?”

            “We’ve been in the same class since third grade. I’ve definitely seen you draw, hon.”

            Oh, he was smooth now. You scowled as you remembered once more why you had been so determined to bury that tiny liking alive. “Right. Forgot.”

            “You forgot about me?” Himchan actually sounded surprised.

            “Well, you stopped being memorable once junior year started.”

            “So in a span of one and a half years, you forgot about me?”

            You finally finished the drawing and blew the non-smudge powder off. You carefully slid the paper into its folder and placed it on the side, away from you so that you wouldn’t accidentally touch it. “Bingo. Another good example of Kim Himchan using his thinking abilities.”

            “Well, what if I asked you out now?”

            “Then it would be five years too late, and I need to read. I like my peace and quiet when I read.”

            “Still working on that English, aren’t you?”

            “Yep.” It astounded you how much he actually remembered about you and it scared you a little. It had been hard liking Himchan from afar; it’s worse now that he’s different and knows about your feelings.

            “So what do you say? Do you want to go out with me?”

            “No. I liked the old Himchan better.”

            “You’re kidding. You can’t possibly have liked that fat loser.”

            “Hey, don’t call yourself that. And you’re hurting my feelings. I liked that ‘fat loser.’” Here it comes. You had to control yourself now. One of the reasons why you had liked him so much was despite his image, Himchan was open and friendly and had managed to charm everyone. But then high school happened and he decided he simply wasn’t good enough. He underwent a vigilant diet, and turned out hot. And you didn’t want to like hot Himchan. You liked him before.

            He stared at you. “Am I really so different now?”

            “Yep.”

            “Hey, come on. This is an improvement. This is like that Himchan plus pleasing aesthetics.”

            “I liked looking at the old Himchan better. At least he didn’t seem like an arrogant toehead.”

            Himchan clutched his chest. “Ouch, that shot me right in the heart.”

            “Good.” You stood up and gathered your work. You really weren’t about to get anything done here with him. “Good day.”

            He stood up, blocking you from moving. “I’m really still the same Himchan. I promise. You just need to hang out with me for one day, and you’ll know. Give me a chance to redeem myself?”

            You sighed. He really was being too sincere. You pretended to think. “Well, how to regain twenty pounds and learn to put back on a pair of glasses? Would that be too hard?”

            Himchan stared at you. “Really?”

            “Really.” You looked at him. “Can’t do it? Then get out of my way.”

            You pushed past him before looking back and smiling. “If you still have my number, you can call me and we’ll talk. But if you deleted it or lost it, tough luck.”

            Within seconds, your phone buzzed and you laughed out loud. He had sent you a picture of your middle school graduation with the caption. “If you meet me by the stairs after school, you’ll see this boy again. If you don’t show up… I’m afraid he’ll be gone forever. No ransom necessary.” 

I'll be making a blog post about B.A.P and everything about this blog going forth from now on.

Please anticipate it and please continue to support me~