It had started off with a lonely night. You sat on the balcony, looking down at the sparkling lights from the city below. You could imagine the people rushing to and from, could hear the honk of the cars and the chatter of people on their phones as they left their night activities, or their long hour jobs. You took in a deep inhale of the oddly cool summer air.

            A glance at your phone told you it was nearing midnight. It was also the end of your first month in a new city. The first thirty days had been a whirl of administrative tasks, of filling out paperwork, of getting your new life set up. You didn’t have time to think. But now that everything was settled, it hit you how lonely you were in this big foreign metropolis.

            Your fingers yearned for a cigarette. You have never smoked before but this seemed like the perfect time to start. It was a reckless thing to do; an act of rebellion that was only okay now that you were far from your parents. After years of trying to achieve your goals, now that you were there, you wanted to do something dumb, whether it was pick up a bad habit or just make a fool of yourself.

            The sky was an endless navy. Twinkling lights traveled through your periphery at a constant pace and you laughed to yourself. Of course. This was the city. There were no stars here, only the ever present reminder of civilization, this time in the shape of airplanes. You were fortunate enough that you had chosen an apartment on the highest floor possible. Far away from the bustle of the city, far away from distraction.

            You gave the ice cubes in your glass a hard swirl and wished for a moment that you were a drinker. Scotch, on the rocks. But alas, all you had was ice cold water, with a splash of lemon. You reached across the table and picked up the portable radio that had been left behind by the previous tenant. Nothing like good old midnight deejays to keep you company at this time of night.

            The first channel was a cacophony of static and poor connection. The second played an old time blues song that screeched at your eardrums. The third channel, however, was a voice. The voice was a warm blanket, a well-worn sweater, a handful of fire that kept the cool air at bay.

            “For the next three minutes, one lucky winner will get the chance to speak with me over the phone to conclude our segment of ‘BYG Talks’. Please dial the following number…”

            You almost laughed out loud. Who in their right mind would call a random stranger, albeit one with the iest voice you have ever heard in your life, in the middle of the night? This could be a serial killer. This could also be a desperate way to meet someone. The second reason tugged at the lonely strands of your heartstrings and you impulsively picked up your phone. You only had one moment left to call.

            The dial tone sounded, obnoxiously loud, in the silence that ensued. “Hello?”

            You only knew you were holding a breath when you exhaled completely to respond. “So you’re not a ruse?”

            The chuckle that filled your ears and your head was melted caramel. It was beautiful and you were already painting pictures about the owner. “Welcome, and hello. Thank you for dialing in. You have reached the automated message of BYG Talks. Please leave a name, number and message.”

            Despite the very good attempt, you could hear breathing from the other side. “Nice try. If you were trying to get my information, you need to do it in a better way.”

            “Damn. I thought I’d give it a try. How about I go first? My name is Yongguk and you clearly already have my number otherwise we wouldn’t be talking right now.”

            Yongguk. It was a foreign name, but one that rolled off the tongue easy. One that fit the purveyed image of the person it identified. “Well I guess I have to play fair.” You gave him your name, and then smiled before parroting his words back to him, “And you clearly already have my number otherwise we wouldn’t be talking right now.”

            “So what made you decide to call? You clearly seem to be a new audience.”

            “What gave you the idea to do this segment to begin with?”

            “It’s a large city, a large world. What better way to meet people than to have them voluntarily call you and share whatever details they want to share?”

            You settled into your reclining chair. “So how many people have you met now?”

            “Well, I’ve had this radio channel for eight months now, so I would say two hundred and forty-five people.”

            “Wow. So people call every day?”

            “Of course. You’d be surprised how many people need to hear another voice respond to them when it’s twelve am.”

            He said those words so matter-of-factedly that it hit you to your very core. Wasn’t that why you were on the other line of this conversation? “It’s not a bad thing. It’s why I do this too. Sometimes the nights can get a little lonely.”

            “Why not just get yourself a girlfriend?” Jokes were your only defense. Only five lines into this conversation and Yongguk had laid out your deepest insecurity bare.

            “Would you like to be mine?” His response came fast and nearly startled you into dropping your phone. His steady voice made the reply seem so much more serious. There was no disclaimer, no ‘just kiddings’, just breathing until you found your wits.

            “Are you sure this isn’t really a scheme to get one, so you can avoid going on embarrassing blind dates?”

            It was only then that Yongguk laughed out loud. His laugh was nothing like his chuckle, or his talking voice His laugh was at least an octave higher and held pure joy. The tiny hiss of breath he let out after the giggle subsided made you feel like you were able to take his breath away. It wasn’t a bad feeling. “I’m sorry. I’d love to continue this conversation, but I do need to close out my show. How about you give me permission to jot down your number, and I’ll give you a call after?”

            “It’s late. How are you so confident I won’t be going to sleep?”

            “Sweetheart,” and the sudden drop in octave made your skin raise with goosebumps. “If you wanted to sleep, I don’t think I would be able to keep you on the phone for so long. This has officially been the longest conversation I have ever had. And believe me, I have a sample size of two hundred and forty-five.”

            “Two hundred and forty-six,” you corrected. “I count now.”

            “Yes,” he said. “Yes you do.” And everything about his words made you shiver despite the warmth it had given you earlier. You pulled the phone away from your ear and let the call drop. Below, the city was still alive. Cars were still driving by, but there was suddenly quiet surrounding you. You drew your legs to your body and settled your chin against your knees.

            The radio cackled back to life as you heard the voice that was only millimeters away from you bid the world a good night. There was a different tempo to his words. He sounded more upbeat, more impatient, like he was in a hurry to do something. Talk to you perhaps? The thought made you smile before sense slapped you in the face.

This was absurd. You were becoming one of those lonely cat ladies, who latched on to every tiny ounce of affection, imagined or not. And yet, you still kept your hand on your phone, waiting for the vibrate, waiting for the first strains of Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata’ to play. This was better than tobacco and alcohol. This was a human experience.

            True to his word, your phone started to shake in your fist. Soft piano filled the air and you waited a few seconds before picking up. “You have reached the voicemail box. Please leave-”

            “Please, I just tried this trick. If it didn’t fool you, what makes you think it would work on me?”

            You hadn’t realized you were missing Yongguk’s voice until it was back again. Phone was different than over the radio. This was definitely better. “So. It’s nearly one in the morning. What about that thing called sleep?”

            “Tomorrow is Saturday. I think I can afford to sleep in a little later.” You could hear him shuffling, as if settling back into a chair.

            “Aren’t you leaving the studio? You don’t work from home, do you?”

            “No,” he admitted. “But I couldn’t exactly wait the fifteen minute drive home before I spoke to you again.”

            “Then I guess we’d have to cut this conversation short so you can get home at a decent hour.” You said it in a whimsical manner but inside, your heart was making the slow descent into longing and sadness.

            “Mmm, I wouldn’t say so.” And from there, one topic led to the other until you felt that you knew a good amount of his secrets, and he yours. Nothing particularly devastating was exchanged, but you had definitely opened up quicker than you normally would.

            “I suppose the sunrise is a pretty sight to see,” you mused. You had just lifted the phone away from your ear to glance at the time.

            As the conversation wore on, Yongguk’s already low voice had gotten deeper, slightly raspy and hoarse from never ending words and no hydration. “Do you want to watch it together?”

            It was still three in the morning, a few hours away from actual day break. It took great effort for you to decline. “I’d like to leave some things for anticipation. I think I’m going to go to sleep now.” You stifled a yawn but it must have been audible given the proximity of the speakers.

            He laughed. “Oops, guess it’s my fault. Not everyone is used to sleeping less than six hours a day. I’ll let you go for now. Good night.”

            You glanced at the night sky and smiled to yourself. Maybe there were stars after all. You stood at the edge of the terrace and looked at the wide expanse of the city and wondered if Yongguk was looking out at your direction too.

            The next night, you listened to his radio and found that he acted like a therapist and comedian for those who needed someone. This time, you refrained from calling in, wanting to hear his interactions with other listeners. True to his word, the conversations were shorter but every person hung up with a smile beaming from their voices.

            “Have a good night, and a good start to the new day, from BYG Talks.” There was the ending jingle and almost immediately your phone lit up.

            “Hi,” you answered breathlessly.

            “That was fast. What, were you staring at your phone, hoping I’d call?” Within twenty-fur hours, the tone he used was now borderline flirty, and not just casual teasing.

            “I was listening to your talk show. And it just finished. I guess I wasn’t exactly busy with anything else.”

            Every night went by like this. Before you knew it, three weeks had gone by. Little by little, his voice blew all the dusty remnants of loneliness away from your life. As you talked, you also started to piece together a collage of the man behind the voice. You knew about Yongguk’s childhood, about what he was currently doing, knew about the perks he had and his likes and dislikes. But what you still didn’t know was how he looked like.

            “Hey, what do you say to meeting up?”

            “M-meeting up?” This was something new. Never in the past twenty-two conversations had he brought up actually seeing each other in person. Your pulse went up a steep incline.

            “Are you not comfortable with it? It’s quite alright if you’re not.” He sounded apologetic, and worried, as if bringing it up and the pending rejection was something he hadn’t realized may be the catalyst to ending all of this. Whatever this was.

            “No. Yes. I mean, no I’m not uncomfortable. I just never thought about it.”

            You can hear the relief in his voice. “So, do you need some time to think about it?” And because you didn’t have a face to put expressions on, you heard every lilt of a syllable and pictured the anticipation, heard the half step increase of the octave and heard the trembling nervousness as he waited.

            “No. I’d like to see you.”

            This time the sigh was audible. All the air rushed out of him and between the two of you. Warmth flooded your entire body. “Then what do you say about tonight? You can swing by the studio.”

            Your hands started to shake then. A thousand excuses rose to your lips. Your hair was greasy. You weren’t dressed. You had to sleep. But you pushed them all down. “Text me the address.”

            The entire way there, you shivered with nerves. You didn’t know if this was your last night to live. You didn’t know what was in the beyond. But much like moving to the new city, this was a new step in your life, and it was one you had dreamt would be a happy one.

            When you neared the intersection he had told you, you saw a lone figure standing in front of a building. There were no street lights, so the only visible shadow was cast from candles he held in his hands. You swallowed. This was it.

            “Yongguk?”

            As you got closer, you saw that he had a shy smile and was tall. He was holding a cake. He took your breath away. Your eyes took in the whole picture but you found yourself refocusing on him again and again. He said nothing as if expecting the staring. In fact, when you looked at his eyes, you saw that he was looking at you too.

            “Happy birthday.” His voice in real life was smoother, and watching the beautiful lips move as sound came from them only enhanced the experience. The anxiety in your stomach melted away into a warm flush.

            “How did you know?”

            Yongguk smiled wider. Good God, the man was beautiful. “You mentioned it once and I figured it would be the perfect day to meet you.”

            “Is the cake for me?”

            “I only see one birthday girl on this street.”

            Hearing the playful banter finally connected all the dots and you couldn’t help it. You stood up on tiptoes and pecked him on the cheek. When you landed back on your heels, you saw that Yongguk had froze. “I’ve been waiting a while to do that,” you confessed.

            Your words seemed to have magical abilities because then he set the cake down on the sidewalk and pressed his lips against yours for a sweet, brief moment. “And so have I.”

Happy birthday to Roffy ♥