“Ouch, that looks really bad this time. How many neurons did you lose?” Youngjae patted his colleague on the back gently.

            “Haha,” Jongup replied dryly as he popped open the hood of a too-expensive car. “Not enough for me to get out of work.”

            “What happened though?” the other man asked, more seriously this time. Youngjae got under the car and grunted slightly. “You definitely did not get hurt at work. No way. Your wife didn’t hit you, did she?”

            It was meant as a joke but it struck a chord in him and Jongup gripped the sides of the car. Chaotic tumult burned in him and he wrestled with pride and hurt. “Of course not,” he said gruffly. “What type of man am I if my wife hits me?” And that was the question he was asking himself.

            Youngjae slid out from under the car and fixed him with a stare. “A regular man,” he responded with a deadpan expression. “Just a man who needs to reevaluate his wife.”

            Jongup threw a nail at him. “Hey, hey watch it. I never said anything about my wife hitting me, okay?”

            “Me neither,” Youngjae tossed back.

            The pain hit sometime in the afternoon. It was excruciating pain and Jongup had to place the wrench down and take deep breaths. From across the garage, Youngjae glanced at him. “You okay there, man?”

            Jongup smiled through his teeth. Another white flash exploded behind his eyes and he sank to the floor, groaning as he did so. The memory of the fireplace poker swinging at him came again and he moaned again.

            Two pairs of arms were pulling him up now and Jongup felt himself sink into a soft armchair. Both Junhong and Youngjae were looking at him with concern. “Are you sure you’re fine?”

            The wound on his head was bleeding again. Jongup stared at the two men who were just as intensely looking back at him. He felt all the tension in him build then collapse in one fell swoop. “It’s the tenth time,” he said in a monotone. “Second time I’ve had to go to the hospital.”

            He swallowed the heavy lump in his throat and started to speak again. “She gets very angry and she’d hit me. It’s always my fault. I can’t hit her back because she’s a lady and she’s my wife. How can I hit her? But sometimes, we’d get really angry at each other and she would start taking things to hit me with. The first time was a vase, and this time was a poker. This time I wanted to fight back. I almost hit her but she did what she always did. She crumpled onto the floor and cried, saying that she was depressed, that she was sorry. How can I hate her?” He hated the tremble in his voice, hated that he could taste the salty tears stream down his face.

            The throbbing in his head was getting worse, heightened by the emotions he was overwhelmed with. Youngjae stood up and held Jongup to him. The calm up and down of the older man’s stomach calmed Jongup and he sniffled.

            “I’m not much of a man, am I? I can’t even protect myself when a girl hits me.”

            Youngjae circled his palm soothingly on his back. “Don’t put it that way. Abuse works both ways. There is no male-female dynamic. It’s just the problem with abuser and victim. Don’t ever feel bad, okay?”

            Jongup pulled away slightly and stared at his hands. “What can I do? She’s depressed. If I leave her, who knows what she would do to herself?”

            Junhong sighed. “Hyung, if you don’t leave her, who knows what she would do to you? You can’t forever be her punching bag, absorbing all her negative energy. It’s time to let her go.”

            “Do you still love her?” Youngjae prompted.

            It took him a while to reply. Jongup thought about the ups and downs they’ve gone through in the past three years of marriage. He thought about the small things she did to make him smile, the shy laugh she rewarded him when he came home early, and wanted to say yes. But then he thought of the anger. He thought of the ugly twist to her face when she didn’t like something he did. His heart wrenched when he thought about the angry words she screamed at him, the punches and the slaps that hurt less his body than his heart.

            Jongup sank into his chair and cried like a little kid. He cried because he didn’t want to think about how angry she made him and how he wanted to leave her because the love has now turned closely into hate. Youngjae once again comforted him, holding him again and this time Jongup gave an honest answer.

            “I love her but I can’t stay with her.”

            “That’s right,” Junhong encouraged.

            Jongup took a deep breath and he looked up meekly, still not able to get rid of the old stigma. “This doesn’t make me weak, does it?”

            Youngjae glared at him and Jongup smiled slightly. “Okay, Hyung. I can do this. A relationship should be about equal loving, and not violence. You’re right. I can do this.”

            It took a while but when Jongup finally stood up on his two feet, his friends cheered him on. 

this is for Himeka12

It's a bit lame and cheesy haha but I wanted to help raise awareness~

I started these series as a way of showing my love and appreciation to B.A.P and I want to continue doing so by writing oneshots that if they ever read they might be proud of ^^'