here i am, sawllowing 4 maybe 8 pill of painkillers but as always why does my heart still hurt . i took another 4 pills yet it doesn't even seem to effect me. i stare blankly into space as tears fall down my face remenber what happen today

flashback:

''myungsoo'' i say as i stare into those beautiful orbs '' yes?'' you say , your voice sound so cold that it sent shiver down my spine '' do you know what day it is today'' i hold my breath , yes i was anticapting for a sweet anwser from you, but like you always do , you replied with a cold voice '' what do you think i am a calender????'' you say as you rise your voice '' N-no'' it nothing new , you rising you voice at me but why am i still hurt and why is my hearts still breaking like crazy. you slam the door , leaving me all alone in the house , again. i didn't need to ask you where your going, i already know, your going to him, sungjong,.

by now i think i aleast sawllow 20 painkillers but why wont my heart stop breaking, i can't take this pain anymore, nor live this life anymore.

my hand is shaking wild as i wrote a letters, its for you you know, everything i do is for you. i finsinsh the letter with a teardrop. i put it on the bed, our bed that you share with him when im not home.

myungsoo was crying hard as he read the letters mostly the last part which say '' and lastly i want to tell you something myungie, painkillers doesn't work even if you eat 100, 100,000 or a billions it doesn't help at all ''.

will here it is hope you enjoy reding it. i know it kinda shorrt but so what. sorry for the grammer mistake though, i at grammer!!!