There's been times she wanted to touch his hair, other times she wanted to kiss his lips. Painfully waiting for the day he notice her.

 

 Imagining the feeling.

 

the feeling of that someone you love who didn't know it, finally see you for what you are. Beautiful.

 

Jongin was there. right next to her. he was focused, he was in his own world. it was as if she wanted to be apart of it. How exciting that would of been. She saw what others did not. He was brave, a bit bossy. Sometimes, a mystery, other times charismatic, sensitive, kind, patient and loving. He was all she ever wished for. For a moment he linked eyes with her as she day dreamed about him that very moment. This caused her to be surprise, this caused her to be shy. Her heart skipped a beat. she wondered did others know how that felt. startled she smiled and shyly turned away.

 

later that day after class she ran into him by the fountain. He seemed tired but well. when they saw each other time stood still. Has it always been like this?

 

He returned her already long lost smile, bowed and kept on his way.

 

She was honored. 

 

2 weeks had passed by and she have yet to see him again. She soon found out He transferred and debuted, this made her ecstatic but she eventually became sad. she missed getting to see him each day, she missed his smile and sitting by him in class and seeing his good looks, (and he definitely was good looking) also she missed seeing those great efforts to the people he encountered.

She missed his presence. She even missed his small chit chat about new music he discovered and his secret playfulness. She missed everything.

 

But to her, He felt so far away.

 

 she got by her days doing the usual. Listening to his music, watching him dance, going by his shows just to feel close to him again. 

she kept her sanity by talking to friends who often talked of him and his band members and learned a few good and bad things about him that he experienced along the way.

 

He was human just like her.

 

One day during a difficult time in her life she lost her parents in a car accident only to find out a year later she had cancer. Later on friends began to leave one by one to live their own separate lives, to find their Destiny. To find their own kind of happiness. Everyone was moving on without her. This couldn't be happening.

 

Where are the ones she need the most? 

 

A friend of hers remembered that she had a birthday coming up. not fully aware of how she's been doing but wanting to surprise her she called the company of her best friends favorite boy band and requested that they send Kai (Jongin) to visit her for her 20th birthday. Since she knew the staff well they accepted her request. Little did she know....

 

 In the present her friend already in turmoil. She decided that life wasn't really meant for her and she went to the bridge and looked down at the water. 

 

As beautiful as it seemed, It was raging. The wind was against her back as if it was against her, pushing her to her death. Speaking silent whispers it seem to relay a message in her ear. The kind you hear on a windy night in fall against your windows. At least that's how she figured nature was responding to her attempt.

 

 With tears that are falling to meet her at the very end, her soul cried, her spirit prayed while her heart was silent. 

She was fighting with herself. A thought of Jongin smiling flashed through her mind but she shakes it off instantly.

 

"I'm sure he wouldn't care, he probably wouldn't know I'm his biggest fan anyway," she whispers.

 

 No one knew where she was at this point in her life, or how she felt.

No one asked, no one cared to know.

 

How can they when they're too busy living their own lives? while hers was at a standstill stuck in time.

 

she breath in and climbed to her death but then a voice called out to her. 

"What are you doing?? come down from there!" It was forceful. Very demanding.

 

when she looked it was Jongin. Fluffy hair dancing in the wind eyes fierce shadowing over his shock. It was the one she loved. Eyes burning and blurred from her sadness. she climbed down obediently. Heart still in overload.

 

"What do you think you are doing? why are you doing that?" he said now with fear in his eyes, but held anger in his voice.

 

"I am already dying...life is difficult, I might as well not live anymore" she manages to say through a cracked voice.

 

he paused and slowly walked to her.

 

"why would you stop living? you have air still trapped inside you. you're just as special because you are still living, and breathing, despite everything, others didn't have an opportunity, they didn't have a chance to live. "

 

she intervene with anger.

 

"what's the point of living when my life is just like those who didn't make it? Only difference I'm living except I'm soon to be dead to the world."

 

He smiled sadly. 

 

"No, you're not dead to the world, Because you've been my biggest supporter. I seen you standing there and smile with a broken heart and for that you matter to me the most. I'm thankful, you gave me the courage to continue to dance, sing and feel the purpose that I am living for now...and that is to bring happiness to people like you,"  

with sincerity in his voice he reached out his hand to her.

 

"tell me what matters to you the most because I think your life is more important than you think."

 

She walked towards him. very slowly. Dramatically.

 

 His words pulling her in, his hand reaching out to her already broken soul was enough to humble her. when her hand finally reached his he pulled her into his grasp and she gave in and broke down like a wounded child.

 

 right into his arms.

 

He held on to her too. like no other. he whispered,

 

 "everything is going to be alright. I'm here for you" 

 

It was as if he known her for years.

 

It was as if she was dreaming.

 

After 30Minutes of spilling herself to him, he smiled a gentle smile and wiped her tears away.

 

 "now, lets go live, lets see what is inside of you that you couldn't seem to find. You're not alone in this. So lets see the world, and watch our lives unfold together, ok?"

 

she nodded with nothing else to say. She was stumped in her own silence.

 

Oh, and by the way, Happy 20th Birthday to you." He smiled and took her hand into his.

 

It was warm. It was magical.

 

Indeed it was a happy day for her. He gave her his hand to live this day and to be close to him. To be held and consoled By him. That was a good enough present she was thankful for.

 

He smiles even brighter in person. It was then she knew her life had just begun.

 

years passed and he was still at her side, she finally had entered his world and he entered hers as well. life truly was worth living for. He supported her through chemotherapy and made her laugh often. And she cheered him on at his concert at his shows and even through his own eternal pain. She comforted him at her best, Even when it was too painful. 

Just seeing her in pain she understood it must have been difficult for him. She knew he was growing tired. It must not have been easy.

 

But he knew that even through her own pain She remained his biggest fan So he became hers and cheered her on to fight, to be strong.

 

He was sweet and she felt grateful. 

 

She was strong and he was hopeful.

 

it was something she prayed for, and hoped for but never could of imagine.

 

thanks to him he helped her to see that life truly had meaning. She Lived to die sweetly because she experienced being with the one she loved most, but with each breath she took when seeing his face there was love still flowing through her veins. In her heart there was love still amongst this world, and amongst the people who lived in it. His and her love combined and their support for each other was evident enough.

 

 Her death might of been painful but it was short and sweet because he held her hand through it all. Through all her suffering. And through him she found something that was inside of her. Something he said that was important.

 

Life. 

 

something she realized along the way.

 

Her ability to breath life into others. To give laugher, hugs, a shoulder to cry on, a smile to unbreak a broken heart, and to give open mindedness to others in order to tear down those barriers people were trapped behind. Just like herself. 

 

She did it all.

 

And she finally found her purpose.

 

Now it was time.

It was time to let go.

To let go of that hand which Jongin had been holding on so tightly, because she was on her way to eternity.

 

Kai and his band members fulfilled her last wish. 

 

They sung at her funeral ceremony. 

They sung beautifully just for her. 

 

Jongin held his composure 'til the end as long as he could but he was sad and he cried. His team supported him. He knew it wasn't the end for her but her beginning.

 

 Thanks to that one soul, Kim Jongin, who reached out his hand to her, She had a Happy ending afterall.

 

A fan he once grew to love.

 

A/N~something for those fans who need, want, hope and pray for a miracle to happen.This is for you. Always keep the faith! <3 love you <3