yoongi finds himself sitting at the local park bench—it’s that one with a broken arm and a back full of black marker graffiti. the sun is high up and the park is as lively as he could ever remember. children are running around, playing games that yoongi himself couldn’t recall what it’s called, and couples laying on the lush green grass as they enjoy the bountiful scenery the park offers.

this isn’t something new; yoongi tries to assure himself whilst shoving his hand inside a brown bag of what seems to be bread crumbs, and then tossing the contents to the ground. in fact, whenever he dreams, yoongi would always—always—find himself here.

everything happens just the way it did before—there will always be seven grey pigeons poking the ground for crumbs; the kid showing off his new penny board will stumble later on, because apparently he isn’t too well-acquainted with his board (yoongi snorts, show off under his breath) and then..

“hi hyung,”

it’s when he hears that voice; the events turn over and around, ultimately changing everything. when yoongi turns around, he meets the eyes of the voice’s owner. today he’s smiling and wears a different snapback – a black one because yoongi mentioned before that his favorite color is black.

“you’re feeding the pigeons again, are you?” and that’s the cue where the other boy sits right next to him. yoongi—despite meeting the other boy for several times already—falls short for words. in all honesty, he’s lost count at seventeen for the times he’s met this boy. so instead of asking him, why are you always here? who are you? why do you call me hyung? yoongi smiles, then hands over the brown paper bag to him.

“it’s nice to see you again, jimin.”

the other smiles, you know, the kind where the sides of his eyes crinkle and then curve like half moons. jimin takes the bag, “that’s what you always say.” he grabs a handful of crumbs before tossing them to the pigeons.

jimin appears to be at least two years younger, which definitely gives him permission to call yoongi as hyung (yoongi cringed the first time he heard jimin say it, because why does he have to say it so cutely and a whole bunch of other things that keeps on bothering yoongi to this date like how he’s too eager for skinship and the way jimin smiles to his direction).

to be honest, this wouldn’t be a problem at all – because yoongi can surely get used to this, with jimin by his side smiling for no apparent reason and clinging to him ninety percent of the time (which yoongi denies later on when jimin asks if he likes being clinged to like that). everyday would be an adventure, because jimin likes to take yoongi to all sorts of places. it would be everyday where yoongi finds himself smiling because jimin can be such a kid sometimes. he could live like that—

except, he can’t.

“yoongi hyung,” he hears the other speaking once again. “are you going to stay longer than last time?” and then he’s holding yoongi’s wrist in a tight matter—like as if he didn’t want yoongi to go anywhere. “are you going to stay with me?” how jimin managed to say it this time without stutter would have convinced yoongi, except his cheeks are still stained red and brows curved, waiting for an answer.

his mouth turns dry all of a sudden, and then “i—i don’t know,” is what he answers. this makes jimin’s smile fall, “that’s what you always say.” and yoongi wants to laugh because, that’s what you always say but he can’t – not when the other’s sighing and resting his cheek on his shoulder. he wants to say something, anything that can comfort the other. he wants to say how really ugly he looks right now because he isn’t smiling and it’s hurting his heart to see him like this.

yoongi, however, isn’t given the chance to say any of these, not when the ground starts shaking and the world spinning and he could feel jimin’s hand gripping on his wrist tighter and tighter and

“hyung!”

he wakes up with cold sweat trickling over his neck and seokjin, yoongi’s room mate, shaking his shoulders, “wake up!”

i’m only dreaming.