Sehun wonders, sometimes, if the cracks on his humble apartment need to be fixed. The little gap from when he started living in it had grown from the floor to the ceiling, wide enough that tiny spiders come crawling from it, much to Luhan’s (his step-brother) disgust. He doesn’t really have the urge to patch it up or anything; because he feels that covering it up will make his home less his, as weird as it might sound. It has been there since God knows when, a permanent fixture on his home, his life.

He sighs and averts his eyes from the cracks in his bedroom, rolls his body slowly to the right. The moonlight escaping from the confines of the curtain has given the sleeping boy next to him a luminous glow, and Sehun feels the small tug on his chest. Even in sleep, Jongin looks radiant, like he has somehow found a way of keeping the rays of the sun trapped on his very skin, keeping him bright even in the dark.

They’ve been best friends since they were little, when all he had to do was to keep a couple of colorful Band-Aids in his pocket. They were young and innocent, and even then, Sehun had this urge to protect Jongin, and see him smile.

He sighs, if only things were as simple as before. Maybe then, his heart won’t jump whenever Jongin is near, or the butterflies in his stomach will cease to exist. If only he can have Jongin’s smile as his own. Mine and mine alone..

Sehun moves closer until he can already count Jongin’s eyelashes, can inhale Jongin’s every exhale. He lifts his index finger and traces, from Jongin’s head, to his nose, but froze just above his lips, when he feels Jongin squirm under his touch. Finger suspended in mid-air, Sehun’s about to move back, afraid of Jongin waking up, when Jongin’s warm arm lands on his waist, pulling Sehun closer, burying his face in the crook of Sehun’s neck. Sehun smiles, because Jongin always seeks him in sleep, making his heart skip twice a millisecond in joy and….pain.

Because as much as he wants Jongin, the latter’s heart already belongs to someone not him.

As the nagging pain in his chest and Jongin’s regular heartbeat lulls him to sleep, Sehun wonders, sometimes, if the cracks in his heart are even fixable…