We were a really great couple back then.We hold our hands together on our way back from school. She always told me that she love me. She is the prettiest girl in this whole world. She is a daughter of one  of the richest man in the city. Her dad own a bussiness that sells those famous brand cars. While me,a poor city guy that trying so hard to live his own life by working at the Starbucks as my part time job. I met her at that place. She left her credit card while rushing out to her car. From that day,I know that there is something wrong with myself. The way she smiled. The way she picked her phone is just so flawless. Her milky skin. The way she flipped her hair. She is so….Beautiful. That day,I keep her credit card in case she will come back to take it back. I cant wait to meet her again. I just want to know her name.

         On the next day,I went to school. Once I entered my school,the crowded were talking about someone. “I wonder who is that girl!” they were talking about a girl?I reached one of my classmate,Sojin. “What is it?What’s going on?” “Oh hey Ken! Someone new is going to study come here.And she came from Canda!” Canada?A girl from Canda?oh okay. I am not really excited about it. Its not a first time people from oversea transferred to Chonbuk National University Medical School. I always wanted to be a doctor since I was so small. My dad left us when I was 3 years old. Im the only son that my mum had.Unfortunately,My mum died when I was 11 years old. She died because of cancer. From that day,I wanted to be a doctor so I can safe other people’s life. Their family.Their mum.Their loved ones. I sat on the chair near to our canteen. I spend my morning sitting their and relax my mind. Until…. “Can I have a tissue please?Thank you” She smiled. Is that her?wait. That is her. Its her! “hmm excuse me?” I spoke to her. Finally! “yeah?”She smiled . I took out the credit card and showed it to her “Is this yours?” “Oh my god!I was looking for my credit card all day!!!Where did you found it?” “Oh you left it on the counter yesterday at the starbucks.Im your cashier yesterday.” “Oh god thank you so much.My dad is going to kill me he found out that I lose my credit card for the second time. Im such a scatterbrain.” She smiled back and chuckled. “Anyway,Im..hmm. I am.”I was really nervoused. Being able to talk with her. Its amazing. “Im Lee Jae Hwan. Just call me Ken.” “Hey. Nice to meet you. Im Hong Yookyung. Im new here” She smiled and offered me a shake hand. Wait. New? “Are you that new kid from Canada?” I asked “haha yeah. That’s me.Oh anyway,lets have a drink later?Its on me. I need to thank you for keeping my credit card. I’ll wait for you at the hall later. I got to go.Bye Ken!” She waved at me. Drink?with her?Just both of us?I cant believe it. From that day,we are getting closer and closer. She is my bestfriend for almost a year. Until one day,I decided to ask her to be my girlfriend. I texted her.

“Hey yookyung.Are you awake?”

“hey ken!hahah ofcourse! Whats up?”

“Nothing.Its just I have something to tell you”

“what is it?”

“well.Lets meet up tomorrow?At our favourite café?haha”

“Okay ken ken!haha I’ll meet you tomorrow then.I want to tell you something too!I need to sleep. Im tired. Nighty night ken!”

Goodnight,Yookyung. I prepared very well. I prepared everything perfectly.I planned something for her.I just want to make her mine.Mine.

On the next day,I called her around 2 pm. “Yookyung where are you?” “Oh im on my way. What about you?” “hmm. Im going to be a little bit late since I still have a little bit work I need to do.” “Oh okay then.Take your time. I’ll wait for you.”

I bought her roses. I need to make this day a day to remember.I looked at the mirror for the last time. “I don’t want to be friendzoned again. Whatever happen,at l did told her that I love her.” I told myself.

15 minutes later,I finally arrived at the café .I opened the door slowly. I take a deep breath. I saw Yookyung with a blue dress. She tied her hair with a ribbon and she looked so flawless.I put the flowers on the table. “oh?heyy ken!!!Is this for me?Thanks!!!you know I love daisy!wow.you looked so… handsome.” “yeah its for you.oh well thanks. Anyway,” “oh yeah what is it?” “actually im going to ask  someone to be my girlfriend but im too scared.” “omg ken!you didn’t tell me early!you are growing so fast kiddo!haha.Just tell her!You don’t have to be scared. You are an amazing guy. Im sure she will say yes.!” “really?are you sure?”

“yeahh!” “be my girlfriend?” “Yeah!tell her that ken!” “Hong Yookyung,will you be my girlfriend?” I cant believe that I just told her that I want her to be my girlfriend. I slowly get up. I don’t even realised what im doing but I suddenly hug her and “I love you,yookyung. Be my girlfriend?” I hugged her tightly. “I don’t want to hurt you Ken.I really want to be your girlfriend. You are an amazing guy for me and I know,you are the only guy that can make me smile for no reason. But im afraid that your nice heart will be broken because of me. I don’t want to hurt an amazing guy like you.” “Its okay. You probably hurt me one day. But you need to remember that.I will always be here for you.”

……………………………………………………………………………………….

We are dating for almost 2 years. I still cant believe that finally I can hold her hands. I can hug her whenever she needs someone. Staying up late just to talk with her.

Until one day. I can feel my heartache. She told me that she is going back to Canada with her family and wont coming back. “I promise Yookyung. I will work hard and be a great doctor. And I will used my saving to meet you in Canada. I will meet you and I will marry you when I finished my study. Remember that okay?Wait for me.” I hugged her tightly and give a kissed on her forehead.Dont forget me.” “Im really sorry for leaving like this but I really need to go.I will text you my adress and…..” She cried. She hugged me tightly. “I wish I still can meet you. Please pray for me. Pray for my health.Pray for us so that we can meet again.or maybe I will take care of you from above. I love you Kenjumma. I love you.Thank you for everything.I don’t want to say goodbye because goodbye means forever. I still want to meet you.” She wiped her tears and smiled. I keep wondering why she said those things. “I need to go.My daddy is waiting. See you again,Lee Jae Hwan.” My tears slowly flow.I cant believe it.She is leaving.

……………………………………..*8 years later*

I finally graduated and now im a fully working as a doctor. I took out something from a box. Yookyung’s address. I need to meet her.

That day,I booked a ticket to Canada.As I reached there,I took a taxi and straight away go to Yookyung’s house.

           Im finally. Im finally going to meet her. I need to give her this ring and make her as my wife. I took a brave step.I knocked the door. “Yes?Can I help you?” A familiar voice. A man stood infront of me. His dad. “Its me. Ken. I came here to meet Yookyung. Is she here?” I gave him a big smile.He did not seen me for 8 years. He recognised me.But  suddenly his eyes fixed on the ground.

…………………………………………………………………..

I went to Yookyung’s room. I saw our pictures on her table.Our happy times. She still keep the pictures tilll now. “Its on her wardrobe. You can take it. She asked you to read it.” Her mother suddenly fall into tears. I took it out. Her diary. I read it with my tears keep flowing.

25.05.12

He asked me out. Im officially his girlfriend now and I couldn’t be happier more than this. He made my day. But I still didn’t tell him the truth. What should I do?

01.08.2014

Its getting bad. I know. I barely can stand and I wonder if  im still able to meet Ken. I miss you Kenjumma.Its hurting me.I want to live like a normal person. I cant bare enough to take this pain. I cant.

09.12.2014

I Just met the doctor. I cant believe my lifespan is going to end very soon. I wonder how he is doing.I miss you Ken.

29.03.2015

Not going to write anything in this Diary. Its time for me to leave.I still didn’t meet him and its hurt me so bad.


Dear Ken,the time when you are reading this,I probably leaving forever. Remember that day when you asked me out?i told you I have to tell you something,right?But I cant. I don’t want to make you sad. I don’t want to ruin everything. 3 days before that day,the doctor has confirmed that I have brain cancer and its spreading all over my body.Its getting bad day by day. Remember that day when I was rushed to the hospital?I told you that its only because of fatigue but its not. I was told that its spreading all over my body. Ken,eventhough our fate bring us together because I left my credit card at the starbucks(hahaha),its unpredictable love. I cant believe that our love will growing so much like this. You.Me. together  is so amazing. Thank you for the blissful moments you gave me. Thank you for every hugs you gave me. When you hold my hands.You have the warmest hands ever. Thank you for always be here for me. Thank you for your piggyback. Thank you for your gifts. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being an amazing boyfriend for me.And lastly,thank you for the memories. I love you,Ken. Goodbye.

I fall down. My tears fall down. I cried my heart out. She left me. A girl that I love the most. The only person I have left me. “Ken. She asked me to give this to you. The real is,she is the one that wanted to comeback to Canada. She knew she is going to leave forever

 Thats why she left you.She dont wany you to see her suffered. And she dont want you to see her lying on bed all day." Her mother gave me box. I opened it. A pair of ring. “Gave this to someone special. Find someone that will make you happy. I will always take care of you from above. I love you,ken.” She left me a note. I cant even talk. I stared  at our pictures. I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yersteryears are buried eep,leave it any way except a slow way,leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones,vanquished ones,while the future lives in a cloud,formidable from a distance. I will always love her. I will never forget her smile. He voice.Her hands. The only question playing on my mind. Will I be able to find someone like her?