Taecyeon POV

I have always had a secret crush on that one choding. This feeling has grown on me since that time around 2009 when we had to collaborate for an MBC Gayo Daejun special stage. It’s indeed a very memorable special stage for me despite of our less frequent practices.

We were even casted as two of some of Family Outing 2 permanent casts together with Nicole, Jo Kwon, Heechul hyung, Ga In noona and some more casts.

Not to add, we once endorsed Caribbean Bay together with both our respective groups. We didn’t only do a normal endorsement, but also a project song and MV by 2PM and SNSD.

The storyline of the MV focused only on several members (I, Nichkhun and Chansung from my group plus she, Yuri and Seohyun from her group). The main casts of the MV were I and she.

In fact, I’ve never had any filming as fun as that one, even until today. The reality that she couldn’t swim only added more laughter to the filming since the filming based and took place at a swimming resort.

I miss the good old days when we used to interact so much. Nowadays, being two of few most influential idol groups in South Korean, the paths of 2PM and SNSD rarely cross anymore.

Every time I turn on the TV, I would see something (mostly news, articles or discussions) about the Nation Golden Power Couple.

If you’re wondering who this very popular couple are, let me tell you then, they are her and her current boyfriend (The Nation Greatest Son-in-Law). Hey, never ever think it’s me because it’s not. It’s the luckiest guy on Earth, or so according to me and most of Korean men, Lee Seung Gi-ssi.

Do you by any chance feel that I’m so bitter about them? I’m neither her ex nor his. I’m just feeling a little bit bitter over the fact that I let go my chance.

I thought she’s not interested in dating so I never brought out that topic and never did I give her any hint regarding the feelings I had (still have) for her.

I let her avoid me during the time when we used to meet a lot. The reason she avoided me mostly is because of our past dating rumor, something that’s too taboo for idols.

She had to keep her image clean for her group sake and I never blame her for that. Instead, I blame myself more.

The only time I tried to approach her was when I called Jessica asking for her help. Jessica’s one of her closest members and we know each other quite well. I couldn’t think of a more appropriate way to approach her so that was it.

I and Jessica had some lunch at a newly-opened café and we did a very big mistake. We thought it was safe not to disguise ourselves since it’s a new café, but our lame way of thinking actually brought us making headlines all over the country.

I got scolded by my company (I was sure Jessica got scolded too) but that was not the worst part. I also got distanced further from her.

I really understood why she acted that way. Nobody wanted to be in headlines for ‘stealing’ her fellow member’s supposed-to-be boyfriend.

Last year, miracle did happen to me, to us. We hosted a Korea-China music festival together alongside with her super protective sunbae, Super Junior’s Kyuhyun.

We got to talk a little bit outside the music festival thingy, but just some greetings and formality.

Gosh, so messed up, right?! I missed too many of my chances already. She might even not know my interest towards her.

Haha. My members actually told me to try harder and make more correct moves, but never mind.

I already tried my best to declare my feelings for her in FO2 but she thought it was just for show like she thought the purpose of Lee Seung Gi’s blunt confessions for her on a lot of TV shows. Too bad he had the guts to confess personally to her earlier than me.

My feelings still remain the same and unknown until now. I think I’ll keep them buried in my heart for God knows how long.

I wish her all the best with her boyfriend, her career and her life. It doesn’t really matter who makes her happy as long as she is happy.