June 2012

It's already a month ago that I saw Sehun the last time.

Well, I tried to do everything not to see him.

I guess one, two times he knocked at my door, but my mom always told him I am not at home.

A big lie. What should I do without Sehun?

I just lay in my bed all day every day and ate crisps.

I feel so embarassed.

You all are maybe wondering what happened last month?

Well, I'm a fool. That happened.

He was my best friend, and typical for a fool: I made everything wrong.

I told him that I love him. I adventured our friendship. But the game is up.

That maybe sounds romantic and we should end up as a couple because we know each other as good as ourselves, since 13 years.

But how can he say that he knows me, when not even I do know me anymore?

I made the mistake to feel save around him. Do you know that feeling when the one person in life, you trust the most, changed in only one moment?

How everything breaks down in only one moment?

I should explain you guys what detailed happened.

May 2012

I woke up by the singing of the birds next to my bedroom window.

The cold days were finally over and me and Sehun wanted to make a "belated birthday party" for him, because 3 weeks ago it was simply too cold to do something outside. And we were busy. So today was the perfect day!

I still had to wrap the gift I made for Sehun.

First I wanted to buy him a nice book, but something personal is always better, isn't it?

Well, his gift is a photo album with pictures from the both of us, when we were still in kindergarden, elementary school ,middle school.

Yeah, we always wanted to go to the same school when we were younger.

When I finished wrapping up the photo album and eating my breakfast, I thought about what I should wear today. I am still so excited everytime I see him, even if he already saw me in my "lookin' like a pain" days.

I decided to wear a white top, my blue cardigan I got last year to my birthday from him (yeah, I'm gonna make it to a meaningful day), black pants and my blue converse shoes.

I made my long red-brown hair curly and did my ulzzang make up like everyday. (good, I'm not the biggest fan of make up, I just do it because Sehun says it looks cute, okay? okay.)

When I finally finished my make up after messing up my eyeliner (sure that this has to happen today!), I knocked at Sehun's door.

He opened with a smile.

Oh god this smile.

"Hey birthday - kid!" I giggled.

"Hey Liz, my princess! Come in" he overacted by bowing 90 degree.

I had to laugh so hard,

"Babo!"

"I'm just a gentleman. Well, can you help me by looking for the cake? I don't want everything to get black! You know I'm bad at cooking."

He made cake for us? Omg, he's so cute.

"No problem. Yeah yeah, I know. Sehun?"

"Yeah?"

"So do you wanna go?"

"What, is my outfit not good?" he looked surprised.

"Just saying.."  I did a kawaii wink.

"Aigoo... okay. Wait 10 minutes!"

I sat down on the couch. Today is going to be our day. I should tell him how I feel, it's the best time. Now or never...

"How is that?"

I turned around.

"Looks better!" I said.

What am I saying here, he always looks like a f**ckin adorable handsome pretty cute sweet angel.

"You know since EXO I got my own car. So we don't have to go by bike to the park with all these things." Sehun smiled.

"EXO, right. I never met them before."

"You will."

"I will?"

"Soon."

"Oh god, we forgot the cake!"

I ran into the kitchen.

"Uhm..." I made a worried face.

"What? Is all black?" Sehun looked worried.

"Nae... happy birthday?" I said and made puppy eyes.

"Aishh.. I can't be angry at you." He laughed. "We're the baddest cooks in the world!"

He hugged me. So long and deep. Oh god he hugged me, how I loved that. I was able to feel his breath on my skin. His face touched mine. As we lost skin - contact, he looked into my eyes.

My heart stopped beating.

"Let's hurry up Sehun! Before it starts to rain." I smiled.

"Alright."

As we came on at the park we decided to make a picnic, I gave him my photo album.

"Here, for you."

He unpacked it.

"Omg." he looked into my eyes. "You are so sweet."' Those sweet beautiful brown eyes, who didn't change even a little bit in all these years.

I blushed.

"Ahh that is understood." I said.

"Thank you, Lizzy. It means much."

It started to rain. Why does it have to rain now?

"I have to tell you something, Sehunnie."

"Tell me." he said during eating something of the cake we bought in a supermarket.

"Wait I get a call."

"Oh, okay." I waited.

"Yoboseo? Oh, hi Suki!"

Suki? Didn't they break up a month ago? I heard they ended up in a bight fight. She cheated on him. How can he cheat on him? He was so down, I will never forgive her to hurt my best friend like this. She came, because of his fame. Sehun knows that. But hey, who cares? As long as she has nice bo*bs..

"I'm sorry, that was Suki."

"I heard. No problem."

Lizzy, now or never. NOW OR NEVER.

"Sehun, I have to tell you something really important, I.. fell in love with you. Around 2 years ago. It came slowly, I didn't think it will ever be this deep."

"Lizzy.." he looked at me so different. "I.."

I'm 99,99 % sure my heart will pop out when he won't say anything now.

"Hey babe." I saw two hands holding Sehun's hands from behind. I know this voice.

Sehun closed his eyes. When he opened them again, all of a sudden I had the feeling I didn't know these eyes anymore. They were so... foreign.

"Lizzy.. I'm in a relationship with Suki, again. I invited her to come."

I hate you, Oh Sehun.