“Minseok—“

“No.”

“You haven’t even heard what I want to say,” Jongdae protests, looking faintly put off.

“You have that look in your eyes,” Minseok replies, flipping through the channels, “So, no.”

“What look?” Jongdae snatches the remote control from Minseok, tuning it to Cartoon Network. Powerpuff girls is on. Jongdae makes a disgusted noise before he throws the controller back into Minseok’s laps.

Minseok rolls his eyes at Jongdae’s display of childishness even as he resumes the conversation as if nothing has happened, “That look.”

“That’s very helpful, hyung,” Jongdae’s endless supply of sarcasm kicks in, “Very descriptive too.”

“The look which says you have a mischievous idea in mind that is going to get us into trouble?” Jongin supplies helpfully, opening a can of beer, “You know, the look which you gave us last summer, right before you wanted us to go over Boss’s head and submit the proposal directly to the AVPS?”

The trio are relaxing in Minseok’s apartment, having some good old quality bonding time which is really just being couch potatoes and stuffing themselves silly. Jongdae has draped himself messily on the couch while Minseok occupies a corner of said couch. Jongdae sits in an armchair beside them, every so often reaching for the neat array of late-night snacks and drinks laid out on the table. Which, Minseok notes, are steadily being depleted as Jongdae is a glutton and Jongin  has shown himself to have a fearsome appetite.

Minseok has guessed as much. He still remembers how much the apology meal came up to, and Minseok knows he did not eat that much even though he initially ordered up a storm (Minseok was still feeling vindictive then). But Minseok eventually returned to his senses when he sees how genuinely apologetic Jongin was and how nervous he was about the entire thing (where did the flirtatious Jongin disappeared to?).

He felt bad whenever Jongin flinched at his sharper words, and Minseok decided some time into the dinner that he should probably stop being a petty brat (besides, Jongin looks like a nice enough guy when he isn’t leading someone on, and he probably doesn’t deserve all this anger). And the rest was history.

Although, well, how it ended up with Jongin joining in on his and Jongdae’s fortnightly suppers, Minseok has no idea. But when Jongdae showed up at his doorsteps, with a hopeful Jongin in tow, Minseok knew he couldn’t possibly turn away Jongin in good conscience. That boy looked absolutely precious when he stayed shyly behind Jongdae, Minseok cooed a little at the memory.

But anyway, back to the topic at hand—

“Yup, what Jongin said,” Minseok agrees before he finally decides to settle for a rerun of some sappy romcom.

“You are supposed to be on my side, Jongin,” Jongdae sends a meaningful look, “Have you forgotten our agenda?”

“I do not allow the plotting of my ruin and death in my apartment,” Minseok flicks a lazy eye over.

“We are not plotting anything really, Minseok, just—“ Jongin hurriedly denies.

“We are just doing our best to improve your non-existent love life, Minseok—“ Jongdae smoothly cuts in.

“No,” Minseok sits up now, fixing the two with sharp eyes, “I am not doing any more dinners.”

“It won’t be my friends this time round—“ Jongdae puts on his most persuasive face.

“No means no, Jongdae. You set me up with a minor you met in a club,” Minseok points out. He then turns to Jongin, “And how can you collude with Jongdae when I have barely forgiven you, Jongin?”

Jongin winces. “Jongdae says you need love in your life and I feel bad for that time. So, I thought I should make up for it by introducing some of my friends to you?” He looks up earnestly when Minseok did not cut him off as early as he thought he would, “And Chanyeol seems perfect for you, Minseok. He is one of the youngest copywriter we have in our firm, and one of the most successful too. He—“

“No,” Minseok rejects.

“Jongin means well, Minseok,” Jongdae jumps in, “He just wants to make up for his mistake.”

“And I have forgiven him already, so there’s no need for all this forceful matchmaking—“

“You said you have barely forgiven him,” Jongdae interrupts.

Jongin chooses that moment to speak. “I am really, really sorry, Minseok. So, just let me do this for you? Chanyeol is a really sweet guy and he is a ball of literal sunshine.” Jongin pauses, wringing his hands a little as he considers his next words. He looks up nervously, “And I hope I don’t come over as arrogant, but I think you are a really nice guy too and deserve to have that joy and happiness in your life, Minseok.”

Minseok can feel his defenses wearing down at that sincere entreaty. He runs a frustrated hand through his hair, struggling for a response. Minseok says finally, “The waitresses at that restaurant are starting to know me.”

Jongdae grins. Minseok is talking about inconsequential stuff; Jongdae can taste his win already. “A life of joy and happiness in exchange for a little infamy. Sounds good to me.”

“It’s not a little infamy,” Minseok corrects tiredly, “It’s more like a huge load of embarrassment.”

Jongdae shrugs, “It’s your life on the line. I think you should just take a leap of faith and give Chanyeol a chance.”

Minseok sighs. He turns to look Jongin in the eyes, “You really think Chanyeol is a nice guy?”

Jongin nods his head firmly, “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

When faced with such a response, Minseok knows he has lost the battle. “Alright, alright,” Minseok waves the white flag of defeat, “I will meet this Chanyeol guy.”

Minseok is starting to feel a little bit concerned at how easily he gives in to persuasion.

(Later, after a short bout of gleeful claps from Jongdae, Jongin asks, “I have a picture of Chanyeol. Do you want to take a look?”

Minseok sighs again, but he holds out a hand nonetheless. “Just give it to me, I need to be able to recognize the guy whom I am meeting for dinner.”

Jongin hands it over and when Minseok has taken a good look at the photo, he frowns.

Jongdae arches an eyebrow as if to ask what’s wrong now?

Minseok complains half-heartedly, “Why are all your friends so good-looking?”

 “We need to find a guy who can complement your good looks, Minseok,” Jongin gives an earnest response.

Jongdae snorts and rolls his eyes.)

-

When Minseok steps into the restaurant this time round, he is a little bit surprised (in the positive way, of course) to find that someone is waiting at the table already. As usual, Minseok has arrived 10 minutes early, but it looks like Chanyeol arrived even earlier than that and Minseok is slightly impressed by that.

Guys who are on time are cool and all, but guys who are early? Just as cool, but a hell load more sincere, Minseok thinks.

“I am Chanyeol,” Chanyeol grips Minseok’s hand firmly before he begins to enthusiastically pump it up and down, “I am really happy to meet you, Minseok.”

“Nice to meet you too, Chanyeol,” Minseok smiles in return, amused by the wide grin Chanyeol is wearing.

It reminds Minseok a little bit of Luhan, but Chanyeol’s smile seems to be free from the tint of mania that the druggie has.

“I am really glad you agreed to me, Minseok. I love making new friends,” Chanyeol starts the conversation with lips pulled wide once Minseok has settled down, “It’s always nice to meet someone new.”

Minseok can feel his smile fading at that. There seems to be something off with this guy too.

“Yes, I feel the same as well,” Minseok diplomatically replies, “But before we go any further, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” Minseok has already covered all the bases with Jongin and Jongdae on Chanyeol’s personality and basic information and all, but it wouldn’t hurt to double-check with the man himself.

Minseok cannot help but to a be a little bit cautious given his track record.

“Sure, Minseok,” Chanyeol nods eagerly, “Friends should know more about each other anyway.”

“To start things off,” Minseok begins his questions, “Are you attached…?”

18 questions later, Minseok comes to the conclusion that Chanyeol is just a harmless overeager puppy. He is single, is clean, is 25 years old, has an older sister, works at the same firm as Jongdae and Jongin do, is well set for promotion, likes sweet stuff, plays the bass and is always up for soccer.

Chanyeol has managed to meet all of Minseok’s requirements, while at the same time, not setting off any alarm bells. Minseok congratulates himself on a successful dinner and sends a little thank you to Jongin. Maybe something will come out of this session after well.

Chanyeol attacks his Light Chocolate Soufflé served with Homemade Mantecado Ice Cream and Fresh Fruit Compote with relish (Minseok has found the restaurant’s menu to be pretentious ever since his first visit, but he supposes that when you charge $32 for a puffy chocolate cake, you ought to give your diners full satisfaction. Even if that means resorting to ridiculous names for food items.).

“The food here is awesome,” Minseok has discovered that Chanyeol is generous with his compliments. Chanyeol gushes, “I can’t believe I haven’t been here before.”

Minseok laughs at the way Chanyeol is eating and he replies easily, “When you see the bill later, you will understand why they are that good.”

“Don’t worry, it’s my treat,” Chanyeol mistakes Minseok’s response, “I will pay for our dinner.”

“That’s not what I meant, Chanyeol,” Minseok hastily corrects, “We can go Dutch. I can pay for my own portion.”

“I can still afford to treat my friends every once in a while,” Chanyeol grins, “You can pay for our next dinner, Minseok.”

Minseok smiles at that. “So, we are still meeting up after this?”

“Of course!” Chanyeol looks slightly alarmed now, “Unless you don’t want to? I think we get along really well though, Minseok. We have common interests—“

Minseok bursts into laughter. Chanyeol furrows his brows for a moment before he laughs along with Minseok, eyes crinkling into crescents.

“You are too cute, Chanyeol,” Minseok manages to say once he has tamed his laughter.

“Thank you,” Chanyeol grins proudly, no hint of embarrassment whatsoever.

Minseok shakes his head at that, his lips continually tugging upwards. He finds Chanyeol’s reactions to be oddly endearing, “And to answer your question: Yes, I want to.”

Jongin is right. Chanyeol is a literal ball of sunshine, and Minseok is starting to think that it may not be such a bad idea, letting Chanyeol into his life. While Minseok does not feel the instantaneous chesmitry he felt with Jongin and Sehun, it is undeniable that Chanyeol is attractive and Minseok imagines he can see himself falling in love with Chanyeol a few months down the road.

Besides, Minseok does not think he has laughed as much as he did in their short 2 hours dinner, and don’t the doctors say laughing is good for the health?

“That’s great,” Chanyeol enthuses, “And maybe we can meet up for a game of soccer too. I will also be performing at Fika—a local bar—next Friday night, would you like to see me then? Oh, oh, and you like coffee too, right? I know of a good indie café near Gangnam—“

Minseok holds a hands up; he can feel himself cracking up. “Wait a moment, Chanyeol, calm down,” Minseok laughs, “I am as excited as you are, but why don’t you go over the details slowly before we set the dates?”

Chanyeol’s look of disappointment when he is cut off is replaced by a bright grin. “Okay!” he agrees cheerily.

When the dates have finally all been set—Minseok is unfortunately, not free next Friday night—and Chanyeol has keyed in the details of their dates into his mobile’s planner, Minseok readies himself to call for the bill. The desserts have all been finished (Chanyeol just stopped short of the plates clean), and there is an important presentation tomorrow. As lovely as this night has been, Minseok does not wish to screw up the project he has poured weeks of efforts into and he knows that Chanyeol will understand.

Chanyeol is a really great guy, Minseok is sure.

True to Minseok’s expectations, Chanyeol agrees to bringing the dinner to an end good-naturedly (not before he made a face, but it is all in jest). He calls for the bill before Minseok gets to do so though, ignoring Minseok’s protest because both of them know that the person who calls for the bill is usually the one who pays for it.

“I told you, you can treat me next time round, Minseok,” Chanyeol dismisses easily.

“But it’s expensive, Chanyeol. I will feel bad if I let you pay for me.”

“And I say, I won’t fight for the bill during our next dinner.”

Minseok sighs softly. He then smiles, “Thank you so much then, Chanyeol.”

“No worries. We are friends, aren’t we?” Chanyeol flashes a brilliant grin at Minseok.

“Yup, friends.”

At this, Chanyeol looks around before he lowers his voice. It takes on a conspiratorial tone and Chanyeol says, as if he has been waiting forever for the opportunity to, “Then I hope you don’t mind me asking your opinion on something?”

Minseok lifts his eyebrows at the sudden change in Chanyeol’s attitude. “Sure, go ahead.”

“You have been here a few times, right? Do you know the waitress who served us?”

“Soojung? Yea, she always serves the tables in this area.”

“Soojung,” Chanyeol repeats, a faraway look on his face. He then shakes his head as if to wake himself up. A faint of pink settles over his face and Chanyeol returns to the conversation, “What do you think about Soojung?”

“What do you mean what do I think about Soojung?” Minseok frowns.

“I mean, do you know anything about Soojung?”

“No? Other than the fact that she seems to be a professional and is rather nice when serving customers?”

“Soojung is nice?”

“I suppose so?”

“Then,” Chanyeol pauses, his lips. He says carefully, “Then, do you think Soojung will give me her phone number if I ask her for it?”

Minseok stiffens. He does not respond.

“Minseok?”

When Minseok does not reply after a good 10 seconds, Chanyeol snaps his fingers worriedly before the other man’s face. “Minseok?” he repeats.

Minseok blinks then, as if just waking up from a reverie. He asks slowly, the words seemingly stuck in his throat.

“Chanyeol,” Minseok says. He pauses, before continuing with some difficulty, “Are you straight?”

Chanyeol’s answer comes without hesitation. “Of course. Why are you even asking me that?”

“Then,” Minseok waves weakly around him, “What is all this to you?”

“A dinner?”

“I mean,” Minseok finds it harder and harder to speak, “Why did you want to have dinner with me in the first place?”

“Jongin told me has a really nice friend he wants to introduce me to and I thought, the more friends, the merrier? Why are you asking all this, Min—“ Chanyeol seems genuinely confused at the series of questions till a sudden light enters his eyes. He stops, his face closing in into itself a little, no longer as bright and open as it was a minute earlier.

“Are you straight, Minseok?” Chanyeol quietly asks. The million dollar question is out in the open finally.

Lovely, pretty, female Soojung chooses the moment to return to their table with the bill, and Minseok feels his hopes crashing down like a tower of cards.

-

After a wholly unexpected ending to what would have been a perfect dinner which leaves the diners feeling mortified and embarrassed in equal parts, Minseok is all too glad to say goodbye to Chanyeol. They part, avoiding each other eyes and Minseok is thankful for small blessings, because at least Minseok does not need to send his blind date off this time round.

Minseok feels vaguely cheated though, and he makes sure to unleash his anger on Jongin and Jongdae.

you 2 idiots just set me up with a straight guy! Minseok does not beat around the bush.

!?! Jongdae replies.

omg!? chanyeol is straight?? Jongin is a beat slower in his response.

Minseok snorts as he types out a message. you think i will joke about this?

but i thought it is settled within the company that chanyeol is gay?? he is a huge fanboy of 1d?? Jongdae seems unconvinced still.

i don’t think anyone really asked chaneyol though, jongdae!! we just assumed he is gay. and omg, im so sorry minseok. i really didn’t know. im so so sorry!! Jongin’s message appears a second later.

Minseok decides he hates his life. 

this series has really turned unfunny. the title is supposed to be a contradiction to the contents, but i can't seem to pull off funny with any other exo members that is not luhan lol.