chapter two

by

paizley

Naeun stared at her phone, her conversation with Taemin’s mother haunting her thoughts. Let him go, she mused, her eyes misting at the thought. 

Her hands were shaking as she typed the message, ‘Oppa,, can you come over?’ 

He read the message almost instantly, his reply coming back soon. ‘Yeah! Is it ok? Your mom has a night shift tonight, right?’ 

‘Neh. I’ll see you soon?’

‘Yup.’

Naeun sighed as she placed her phone on the bedside table, the ring on her finger weighing heavily on her hand. How could she let him go? She wondered, the boy who had managed to break through all of her walls, who had become her confidant, her best-friend, her other-half. Someone she relied on to tell her secrets, her worries, her insecurities, and fears. 

How do I let you go? 

Naeun pulled her hair out of her ponytail as she walked to the living room, taking a seat on the small white couch as she waited for Taemin. Ten minutes later he arrived, quietly entering the apartment.

“Naeun-ah,” he greeted her as he leaned against the hallway, pulling her from her thoughts.

“Taemin-ah?” Naeun shook her head, laughing at herself for being so clueless about his entrance. “Oppa,” she ran to him, hugging him tight.

“Naeun-ah,” he murmured, burying his nose in her curled hair, “You smell so good.” 

“I just showered,” she giggled as he stole kisses. “Oppa,” she playfully pushed him away, “I’m not going to have any lips left if you keep that up.” 

“Ehh,” he grinned, running his hand through his shaggy hair. “So why’d you call me so late?” He wondered, taking her hand as they sat on the couch. 

She shrugged, “Just… felt like seeing you.”

“Eight hours at school wasn’t enough?” He teased, wrapping his arm around her delicate shoulders. 

“It’s never enough,” she thought, her heart tight as she laid her head on his broad shoulder. “Taemin-ssi…” she whispered, playing with his fingers, “I… love you.” 

He smiled, that heart-aching smile that could light up a night sky, “I love you more, Naeunnie.” 

“Hng,” she felt her eyes water, “I…” I can’t. Not yet. Not now. She took a shaky breath and then led him up, taking him to her room.

“Naeun-ah?” He called her name as he sat on her bed, she locking the door. “Are you ok?” 

She nodded, looking nervously back at him as she laid back against the door. One more night, she said to herself. She could be selfish, pretend that everything was ok. Pretend that she was good enough for him. For his love. 

Her mind was decided. Everything is ok, she repeated in her mind like a mantra. 

“Oppa,” she smiled mischievously as she strutted towards him, flipping her hair as she spun once she reached him.

He chuckled, resting back on his arms, “Naeun-ah, you’re killing me with your iness.” 

“I’m y?” She asked him, cocking her head to the side, twisting her hips.

“Incredibly,” he growled as he stood up, his hands caressing her sides, “I’ve had to take so many cold showers because of you.” 

She giggled, her y persona faltering as she snorted, laying her head against his chest as she laughed. “Really?” 

“Really!” He grinned, wrapping his arms around her waist. “You’ve got that something, my silly sea anemone.” 

“Maybe I should become an idol then,” she teased, kissing his chin. 

“Hell no,” he murmured possessively, that glint appearing in his strong gaze. “You’re mine.” 

“Ok.” She conceded, her hands reaching up to touch his face. Memorizing every line, the way he smiled, his nose line, his wide brown eyes. “Kiss me,” she requested moving up onto her tiptoes as their lips met. It was slow, sensual, his hands reaching under her white shirt as he explored her flat stomach, the top of her hipbones, the small of her back. She moaned at his touches, “Oppa,” she mewled as he guided her to the bed, laying back as their lips stayed together. He crawled over her, his legs between hers. 

“Naeun-ah,” he smirked as he pulled back, loving that pout on her red lips. “Take off your shirt,” he requested, leaning back as he watched her undress. He sat next to her, patting his legs for her to sit on. She giggled as she straddled his waist and reached back to undo her bra. 

“No,” he grinned, “Let me.”  

“Oh, thank you,” she teased, kissing his cheek. “You’re such a gentleman.” 

“Always,” he returned, taking the bra off with a quick flick of his wrist, “For my Naeunnie.” 

She raised a brow at his technique, “Seems like you’ve been practicing that move,” she noted, leaning forward to kiss his luscious lips. “Who is she?” She demanded to know, her fingers nimbly ing his shirt. 

He chuckled, “She’s your age,” he told her. “With a gorgeous, y body. Beautiful brown eyes, beautiful heart, beautiful soul. She’s everything you could ever want,” he said, tenderly holding her close. “I’m so lucky, to have her in my life.” 

Naeun bit her lip, let him go. Those words haunted her. “Taemin,” she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, fighting back tears, “I love you. I really do. Forever. I’ll never forget you.” My first love…

“Forever.” He promised, “Naeun-ah,” he felt moisture on his skin, his hand rubbing circles on her back. “You’re crying, aren’t you?” 

She nodded, sniffing away her tears.

He laughed, “My crybaby.” He teased, pressing his nose against her cheek. 

“Oppa,” she took a shaky breath, leaning back to look at him in his eyes. “I want you to stay the night.” 

“I… oh?” He swallowed nervously, “Really?” His fingers grazed over her warm, soft skin, “Are… you sure?” 

“I… yes.” She closed her eyes, biting her lip as he shifted them so she laid on her back, him overtop. “Pabo,” she called him affectionately as he gave her that inquisitive look, “I’m sure.” 

“Ok.” 

“Ok,” she whispered, just one more night…

Later that week, Taemin was walking to the cafeteria alone. Again, he growled, annoyed that Naeun was once again no where to be found. He sighed, frustrated as he sat next to Minho at one of the round tables. “,” he cursed, kicking the table’s leg. 

“Yah,” Minho drawled, “Taeminnie, what’s going on?” 

“She’s avoiding me.” Taemin rubbed his face, “After that night… she’s been distant. She doesn’t call me back. She runs away, she… I have no ing idea where she is right now.” 

Minho clicked his tongue against the top of his mouth as he spotted Naeun in the corner of the cafeteria. sitting next to a certain captain of the soccer team. “You won't like this. She’s over there.”

“What? Where?” Taemin cursed when he saw Naeun talking with the boy. "Him? That annoying idiot? What the ?” He kicked the table again as he stood up and stormed over.

“Yah!” He called out as he reached them, “Naeun-ah, what’s going on?” 

Naeun closed her eyes for a brief moment, stealing her heart for the inevitable ache. This is it, she thought as she moved up, “T-Taemin-ssi,” she all but whispered. 

Taemin felt his heart squeeze, -ssi? “Naeun…” He murmured, "What?" 

“We should talk.” She murmured as she bowed her head to Myungsoo, “I’ll be back later.” She closed her math book and placed it into her bag. 

Myungsoo nodded, “I’ll be here.” 

“Neh.”

She walked out of the cafeteria doors to the gardens, ignoring how he called her name. Ignoring the sound of his footsteps as he followed behind her. It felt like the world was moving in slow motion. Her heart slowly breaking as she moved past the large sakura trees, remembering that day he had told her that he loved her…

 Naeun hummed to herself as she sat under the trees, the two lunch boxes she had prepared last night next to her as she waited for her boyfriend of 45 days. 

“Naeun-ah!” Taemin called out her name as he jogged towards her in his soccer uniform. “Sorry I’m late, practice went over time.” 

“It’s ok,” she smiled brightly, giving him a tight hug. “Oppa!” She squealed as he picked her up and spun around. 

“Sorry,” he grinned as he kissed her forehead when he placed her white-tennis shoe-encased feet back down on the grass. “But really, not sorry.” 

“Pabo,” she teased, fixing her dress. “You didn’t shower, did you?” 

“I was late to meet you,” he admitted sheepishly, running his hand through his sweaty hair. 

“Eww,” she joked, waving her hand in front of her nose, “But oppa is so smelly now!”

“Yah!” He joked, acting offended at her words, “I smell so good! You should know that oppa smells like a man right now.” 

“More like a piggy,” she teased, kissing his cheek.

He grinned, dropping to the grass. “Yah,” he laid sprawled out, “This is nice. Beautiful summer evening, beautiful sunset, and an even beautifuler girlfriend right next to me.” He leaned onto his side, “Why are you so pretty all the time, Naeun-ah?” 

She blushed at his words, “Pabo,” she murmured, sitting delicately next to him, “You need to get your eyes checked.” 

“They’re fine.” He chuckled, “You’re embarrassed now, aren’t you?” He touched her hands that were hiding her face, “Come on, let me see your smile.” 

“Pabo,” she repeated as she lowered her hands.

“Yahhhh,” he hit his chest, “So gorgeous when you smile. My heart explodes every time you smile.” 

She giggled, “Oppa, you’re too much.” 

“You’re too much. You’re too beautiful, Naeun. I shouldn’t let you dress in those cute dresses because all the boys will want to steal you away from me.” 

She couldn’t help but laugh, lightly hitting his arm. “Oppa!” 

“Wae?” He rubbed his arm, “It’s true. You’re so gorgeous and you don’t even know it.” 

She snorted, “I brought lunch boxes.” She placed them in front of him, “Are you hungry?” 

“Starving,” he beamed, “Thanks, Naeun-ah.”

“Of course,” she handed him a pair of chopsticks from her purse, “I hope you like it.”

“What is it?” He asked, lifting the top. There was rice at the bottom, with fish cakes and red sauce over top in a heart, corn, and a potato folded egg on the side. “Naeun-ah, it looks good.” He took a bite of the egg, “Ahh, this is good.” 

“Really?” She smiled, holding her chopsticks to her chest, “I’m glad.” She had spent the whole night cooking in preparation. 

“Thank you, really.” He quickly inhaled the food, Naeun watching with a laugh as he ate. 

“You’re really hungry, huh?” She noted as she picked at hers, “Here.” She gave him her folded egg, “Eat up.” 

“Naeun-ah,” he smiled, “No, you should eat.” 

“Ani, it’s ok. Eat, I made it for you anyways.” 

“Yah,” he sighed, “You’re always giving.” He noted, closing the top once he was done. “I’ll make us lunch-boxes next time.” 

“Ani!” She exclaimed, “We’ll probably end up in the hospital with food poisoning.” 

He laughed, “That’s pretty true.” He joked, “Then I’ll buy us dinner at a fancy retaurant.” 

“Sounds good,” she murmured as she set the boxes back in her bag. She tucked her hair behind her ears as she leant her back against the tree. “This is nice,” she noted, “The breeze.” 

“Mm,” Taemin scooted up and sat next to her, her head moving to rest on his shoulder. “You know, I’d be really happy,” he gently bumped her side, “If I could kiss you right now.” 

She giggled, “I think I’d be really happy too.” 

“Yeah?” His lips moved to her cheek, “Here?” He asked as he kissed her cheek, “Or here?” He kissed her nose, “Or…”

Naeun shifted so they faced eachother, “Here.” She murmured boldly as their lips touched, their kiss still tentative, still tender, still light-hearted. 

He smiled when they parted, brushing her hair to the sides. “I’m falling in love with a girl,” he told her, “She’s beautiful. Inside and out. She makes me laugh, she challenges me to be a better me. She’s so kind-hearted and has the most beautiful smile. Do you think I should tell her? Do you think… she’s falling for me too?” 

Naeun’s eyes watered, “I think…” she whispered, her voice wavering, “She’s falling in love with that boy. That boy who makes her laugh. That boy who broke down that wall around her heart and is opening her up to the world. That boy who is so handsome, so kind, so caring. She’s hoping, that they’ll be together forever.” 

“Forever,” he repeated, resting his forehead against hers, “I like the sound of that.” 

Naeun felt cold at the memory, her eyes watering. You can’t cry, she told herself, not now. Not yet. 

“What’s going on, Naeun?” He asked as he reached for her hand and stopped her from moving forward.

She pulled her hand back, averting her gaze from his. 

“Naeun,” he sighed, “Naeun!" He resisted the urge to shake her. "What the hell is going on?" He demanded to know, his frustration bubbling over. "Why have you been avoiding me? Why are you ignoring all of my texts? Why are you,” he grabbed her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. “Why are you running away from me?” 

Naeun’s lips quivered as she looked into those brown eyes. For the last time, she thought as she felt like falling to the ground and crying. She felt like wanting to hold onto him. To beg him to stay with her. To be her forever. But she couldn’t. 

She was his burden. Holding him back from everything he could be…

“I… I want to break up,” she said finally, her own heart breaking as she spoke.

Taemin’s eyes widened at her words, “Wh-what?” 

“I want to break up,” she repeated, her voice firmer. 

“Break up,” he repeated soullessly, “Are you serious?” 

Her voice was weak, “Yes.” 

He felt helpless, “Why?” 

“I… I like someone else.” She had to break his pride, she knew, for him to step away from their relationship. 

“Someone else,” his fists tightened, “Myungsoo? ing Myungsoo?” He spat, “Are you kidding me?” 

She was silent, unable to go on. “O-oppa,” she whispered.

“No,” he shook his head, “You don’t get to ing call me oppa when you’re in love with someone else.” 

She hung her head, this is it. The end. Her first love, over… 

Taemin looked off to the distance, “So you are all the same.” He murmured, his eyes misting. He cursed, “I should have known. You’re just like them, aren’t you? Wanting the next best thing?” He had ignored all the warnings from his mother, from his friends, that she was a gold-digger in training. That she was no good. That she was only using him. 

“Taemin,” Naeun’s voice was weak, “Please…” don’t hate me. 

“No,” he shook his head, “I loved you.” He told her, “That was my mistake.” He laughed bitterly, he thought she was different. Someone pure, someone truly beautiful inside and out. But it was just a facade, wasn’t it? 

He rubbed his face, “I knew it, from the moment I met you, that you’d be the one who could make me cry. Who knew, that you actually would.” He looked at her, his mind poisoned with images of her with another man. Another man touching her. Another man kissing her. Another man hearing I love you from those beautiful red lips. 

“If we’re over,” he looked to the ground, unable to stare into that hazel gaze he had fallen for. “We’re not going to be friends. You know what? I never want to see your face again. No…” He felt the emotions running through him, anger, jealously, helplessness, heartbreak. “No more calling me in the middle of the night when you get nightmares. No more getting ice-cream at midnight. No more stupid ing inside jokes and no more this,” he grabbed the cross hanging around her neck, pulling it hard, the necklace clasp coming undone. “We’re done.” His mind was made up. “Have a great ing life, Naeun-ssi.” He spat as he threw the necklace on the ground and walked away, wiping away the tears running down his cheek. 

Naeun closed her eyes, unable to watch him leave. She resisted every urge she had to call out his name, to beg him for forgiveness. She tried to ignore that big ache in her chest. Tried to ignore her heart shattering into pieces. So this is heartbreak, she thought as she knelt down to pick up the necklace. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, touching the precious metal, the memories moving through her mind. Every kiss, every hug, every I love you. 

I’m letting you go, she thought, hanging her head, even if it breaks me. 

One month later

Eunji pursed her lips as she sat in the back of the classroom next to Naeun, spotting Taemin with his third new girlfriend since he and Naeun had broken up. 

“It's Minah, this week?” She muttered aloud to the younger girl. “She was always flirting with him when you two were together, wasn’t she?” 

Naeun nodded her head, trying to be numb. Trying to ignore that ache in her heart when she saw him with another girl. 

“I don’t get it,” Eunji muttered, cringing as the girl played with Taemin’s hair. Cooing into his ear. “What happened between you two? You were so perfect together.” 

Naeun smiled bitterly, “Perfect…” She closed her eyes, “I guess nothing’s perfect.” 

“Does it hurt?” Eunji asked, “Seeing him like that?” She crinkled her nose at how Minah kissed Taemin’s neck, her red-manicured hands touching his thigh. 

Naeun briefly looked over, biting her tongue to stop herself from crying. From breaking down. Because it was her fault. For letting someone like him into her heart. For falling in love with someone she shouldn’t have. “It’s for the best,” she said finally, “Anyways…” she cleared , trying to focus on the assignment. “Did you get 47 for number six?”

Eunji sighed, noting Naeun’s glassy eyes. She the younger’s girls hair, her maternal instinct coming out. “Neh, how about number seven?” 

The end of summer

Naeun tapped her chin as she sat at the bench as she looked at the painting that hung on the wall. Was it in the centre? She wondered, squinting her eyes. She looked down at her checklist, her mind wandering. 

“The Goodbye.” 

Naeun jumped at that voice. His voice, she thought as she looked to her left, her heart constricting at the sight of him. “Op…” she caught herself, “Taemin…” 

“Naeun.” He looked at her and couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked. How beautiful she always looked. He had tried to forget her through being with other girls. Tried to forget how her kisses felt like heaven. Tried to forget how angelic her voice was when she sung to him. 

But it was all a lie. 

Empty words. Empty promises.

And her. 

The girl he had fallen in love with. She had been just a facade. 

“I…” she moved up from the bench, her voice shaking, her heart trembling. She could feel the hate he had for her, the disgust he had, just by looking at her. 

“I’m leaving.” He told her, “To Boston, tonight.” 

“I see,” Naeun’s gaze moved over his face, his angled jaw, his nose, his lips, his dark-brown eyes that once upon a time she could stare into and forget herself. She felt her heart break again, “Have a safe trip then, Taemin-ssi.” So this is goodbye…

“I don’t need your well-wishes,” he spat. 

Naeun felt her eyes water, “Taemin…” He hates me, she thought, her chest tight. The line between love and hate was so thin, wasn’t it? 

He cursed as he spotted her tears. He should be angry, he told himself. Relishing in her pain. Yet here he was, unable to stand the sight of her crying. She still had a hold on his heart, he realized, and he hated it. 

“I didn’t think I would see you,” he murmured. “Before I left.”

Naeun nodded, she had spent the whole summer trying to avoid him. But here he was, at the art gallery where she had gotten a summer job as a student curator. “Why… are you here?” She dared to ask.

Taemin lifted the flyer in his hand, “First Love.” He read the title of the current exhibition, “It reminded me of…” He didn’t finish. He didn’t need to. 

“It’s scary, isn’t it,” she whispered absently, her once bright eyes hollow. “How fate works?” 

He chuckled bitterly, “Yeah.” How was it that someone so beautiful could cause so much pain? He wondered, she plays the part well. The pure and innocent faye. 

But it was all a lie. 

Naeun bowed her head, no longer able to meet his gaze. “Goodbye then, Taemin-ssi. I… I wish you well.” 

Taemin looked away, standing so close to her was breaking his heart. It brought up all those bitter memories, those I love you's. Those promises of forever. 

All lies.

His gaze was cold as he turned away, “I wish you hell.” He murmured as he walked away. 

Naeun felt her legs give way as she fell the the marble floor, her knees likely bruised. She felt a single tear fall down her porcelain cheeks, I wish you hell. She thought as she wiped her eyes, even though you hate me. Even though you're leaving, you'll always have my heart.

My first love.

I'm letting you go. 

thank you guys for reading, i'm glad you're enjoying it. writing the breakup was inspired by tablo's cover of eyes nose lips, such a good, bitter song.

xoxo

paizley